Faith stared at the clock, watching the minute hand crawl round. Why was it taking so long? She had been lying on the bed, uncomfortable and exposed, for over twenty minutes now. It seemed wrong to leave her like this, when she was anxious and unnerved.
‘Sorry, sorry, sorry …’
The midwife bustled in, making her apologies without even looking at Faith.
‘Seems like everybody’s decided to have their baby today,’ she continued good-naturedly. ‘Now let’s see if we can set your mind at ease.’
Sliding the ultrasound machine over to the side of the bed, the midwife slipped on a pair of gloves. Faith watched her, calmed a little by her relaxed attitude, her smooth, practised efficiency. Perhaps she was over-reacting, perhaps it had been silly to come here. The baby was often quiet – she regularly joked with Adam that their offspring had inherited her laziness.
‘If you could lift your gown for me …’
The midwife slid her hand into the jelly, then smeared it on to Faith’s bump. As usual, it made Faith flinch – the silky substance cold against her taut, warm belly. Their early scans had been some of the happiest moments of her life, but Faith couldn’t say that she’d ever actually enjoyed them. It always felt undignified and exposing and she hated the feeling of the midwife’s probe digging into her flesh.
As she listened to the crackling of the scanner, Faith toyed with the amazonite crystal she always wore for good luck. The midwife was quiet now, diligently guiding the probe around her swollen belly, while keeping her eyes fixed on the small screen in front of her. Faith could picture her baby on the monitor, a small ghostly presence swathed in a sea of black, shifting and responding to the proddings of the midwife. Faith longed to hear the familiar ‘boom, boom, boom’ of her baby’s heartbeat. To her it remained the most beautiful sound she’d ever heard.
Silence filled the room and Faith now turned to the midwife.
‘How we doing?’
It was meant to sound casual, but Faith’s anxiety betrayed her. The midwife smiled at her briefly, but did Faith detect a certain tightness in her expression?
‘Is everything ok? Can you find a heartbeat?’
Concentrating hard, the midwife tried once more, then turned to Faith.
‘Not yet, but to be honest this particular machine isn’t the most reliable. I’ve been asking them to replace it for weeks now. I’m going to get one from next door and then we can have another go.’
She was about to depart, when she laid a hand on Faith’s arm.
‘Don’t read too much into it, sweetheart. I’m sure there’s nothing to worry about.’
But Faith was worried. As she watched the midwife scuttle from the room, she was gripped by a rising panic. Suddenly she was convinced that something was terribly, terribly wrong.