Adam paused on the threshold, as he slid his key into the lock. He was trying to remain calm and composed, but he suddenly realized that he felt nervous. Crazy, really; this was his home – the pretty little row house he had always returned to with such enthusiasm – and now he was overcome with trepidation about what he might find on the other side of the door.
He knew he was being foolish. Faith had battled with depression as a young woman, but she was much more resilient now and wasn’t the dramatic type, so he knew he wouldn’t find anything bad bad. It was just that it hurt so much to see her in pain. For the past few days, she looked like she had been hollowed out by her experiences. Adam had spent his whole life dealing with other people’s problems – the emotions and crises of total strangers – yet dealing with Faith’s anguish was proving difficult. He found it so hard to keep his own feelings in check when the woman he worshipped crumpled in front of him.
Turning the key, he stepped inside. All seemed calm, all seemed quiet … except now he heard the kettle boiling. Unaccountably, this simple domestic act raised his spirits and he hastened into the kitchen, where he found Faith, dressed in jogging pants and top, leaning against the counter.
‘Ta dah!’ she joked grimly, highlighting the fact that she was dressed.
‘I’m impressed.’
He was trying to sound jovial, but it sounded forced. He could see Faith was making the effort, but her eyes revealed her pain.
‘And that’s not all,’ she continued, her tone unreadable as she turned away to make herself a cup of tea. ‘I went into the studio today.’
‘Great. How did that g—’
‘Too soon,’ was the brief response.
‘Of course, no need to rush. One step at a time.’
He had said the latter phrase so many times in the last few days that it already sounded like a cliché. Faith didn’t respond, replacing the kettle on the stand and handing him a cup of tea.
‘How did you get on?’
‘Ok. I made most of the calls I needed to.’
‘That’s good.’
‘Still a few more to do, but I’ve got their numbers. I can do them from here …’
Adam petered out, pointedly turning his attention to his tea. He’d decided not to tell Faith about his encounter with Kassie, but she was still looking at him, expecting more.
‘Is everything ok? You look … tense.’
‘Everything’s fine,’ he replied tightly.
‘So …?’
She was staring directly at him, allowing no room for evasion or obfuscation.
‘Kassie came to see me. At the office.’
‘Right,’ Faith replied warily. ‘What did she want?’
Adam wasn’t quite sure how to respond.
‘Adam?’
‘She wanted help.’
‘Because?’
‘She had another episode.’
‘Another vision?’
Adam nod-shrugged. He didn’t like to call them that.
‘And? Did she tell you who it involved?’
‘Yes.’
‘So …?’
‘So nothing.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I … I sent her away.’
Even as he said it, he felt a little ashamed.
‘What?’ Faith responded, sounding genuinely shocked.
‘I didn’t want to … but I can’t get involved with her right now. We’ve got too much on our plates –’
‘This is work –’
‘So?’
‘So it’s got nothing to do with us and if you can help her –’
‘I’ve told her I can’t, so there’s no point discuss—’
‘I think you should reconsider.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m not a fucking china doll.’
The words shot out, hard and angry. Adam looked up at his wife, could see the emotion bubbling just beneath the surface.
‘I know you’re trying to help me,’ Faith continued, struggling to master herself. ‘But I’m a big girl. I’ll get through it.’
‘I just want to make sure –’
‘And being treated like a child is not going to help. Shitty as it is … life goes on.’
Adam couldn’t deny that. Much as he’d wanted to blot out the world during the past few days, life kept on intruding.
‘So, if Kassie is in trouble, if she needs you enough to seek you out at your office …’ She fixed him directly in the eye as she concluded: ‘… then you must help her.’