A few days later, I rock up at the academy ground and walk over to the pitch where the lads are training. I watch them, as they play a game we call tennis, knocking the ball to each other, keeping it in the air with their feet and heads.
Ryan and Ollie jog over when they see me. “How are you doing?” asks Ollie.
“I’m alright,” I tell him. “Better than I was.”
“Sorry about your Granddad,” says Ryan. “He was a sound geezer.”
“Yeah,” I say, remembering the first time I trained with the team and how Ryan called my granddad a freak.
“When are you coming back?” asks Ryan.
“Now,” I tell him.
They look at one another, like that is a bad idea.
“Have you spoken with Liam?” asks Ollie.
“Not yet,” I tell him. Then I call out, “Liam, you got a minute?”
* * *
Liam and I watch the lads from the sidelines as Darren, Liam’s assistant, supervises a game of five-a-side.
“It might be a bit early,” he says. “With everything that has happened.”
“I just need to get back out there and get on with things,” I tell him.
He stares at me, but doesn’t say anything.
“It’s what my granddad would have wanted,” I tell him.
“Probably,” he says. “It’s just, I’ve seen what happens when you get on the pitch and your head isn’t in the game. It doesn’t usually end well, does it?”
“No.”
“It’s not like you can play a match for a while at any rate,” he says. “You are serving a five-game ban.”
“Five games?!”
“You should count yourself lucky,” he says. “The FA wanted a ten-game ban.”
“Really?” I ask.
“Really,” he tells me. “You head-butted a player.”
“It’s done now,” he says. “Just don’t ever do it again. I spoke with Paul too – a real shame what happened.”
“Yeah,” I say and I feel gutted about the whole thing.
“There will be other agents though,” he tells me, and I feel a bit better.
“I was thinking,” I tell him. “About what you said, about that counsellor.”
“Oh yeah?” he says.
“Do you think it could help?” I ask.
“Well, I’m not an expert,” says Liam, “but it can’t be a bad idea to talk to someone who understands all this. It definitely helps me when I talk - can’t shut me up in fact. Why don’t you have a session or two, see how it goes?”
“OK,” I tell him. “Sign me up or whatever.”
He smiles. “I’ll sign you up. And in future, if there is anything, anything at all the matter, you come to talk to me.”
I nod and smile.
“I mean it,” he says. “If you need anything, my door is always open.”
“Actually, Liam,” I say. “There is one thing.”