Everything is all set. Jim and I have it planned out, Diary. We’re going to leave tomorrow night, right after graduation. I’m going to sneak out while Papa is sleeping. I’ll leave a note, of course. But when he wakes up, I’ll be gone.
Jim already has a preacher lined up to marry us the next morning out of Tupelo. We’ll drive all night until we reach him, marry and start our lives.
It’s so crazy, Diary. I’ll have my diploma and will be eloping with the man that I love. Jim’s parents don’t know yet, but he plans to tell them as soon as we marry. That way there won’t be anything that anyone can do to change what’s done.
We’ll be married and that’s all there is to it.
But will I be able to wait one more night? Can I suffer through it?
* * *
Today is the day. Graduation went great. Papa gave me one of Mama’s old brooches for a gift. It’s a white cameo on onyx. I’d never seen it before, which means that he’d been saving it for a special occasion.
He had tears in his eyes when he gave it to me. It made me feel awful for betraying him like I plan to. But I can’t think about that right now. I have to pack.
* * *
I’m packed and ready. I made sure to bring the new brooch and the carving that Jim gave me, the dog with my initials on it. It’s a windy day. Jim’s out with his father, fishing. It’s red snapper season, so the harvest will be good, and they’ll make a lot of money. Jim wanted to make sure his dad got every last bit of help that he could offer.
He feels bad leaving his dad, so he talked one of his friends into helping him out until his father finds someone else. I hope his parents aren’t too angry at us, at him. But we truly feel that there’s no other way to start our lives together except to run off.
I’m sitting at the top of the tower, where I hide you, Diary. Storm clouds are rolling in, and the sky is dark.
I hope Jim and his father come home soon.
* * *
Terrible news. We’re in a full-on storm. Rain is lashing the windows, and the waves are crashing against the beach. I haven’t heard from Jim, but Papa just got off the phone with the local coast guard. They said that several fishing vessels haven’t come in yet, and that Papa needs to make sure the lamp is on now, before the sun sets because the storm has already made the sky so dark.
I can’t stop thinking about what the coast guard said, that several fishing vessels haven’t come back. They said that they feared the waves could’ve caused the small boats to capsize. They headed out to search for some of the fisherman, but the storm is so fierce that they had to turn around.
Diary, what if something happens to Jim? I don’t know what I’ll do. I love him so much.
* * *
It’s dark now. The lighthouse lamp is bright, and I’ve been looking out the windows, trying to see if any boats are approaching the shore, but I haven’t seen one. I’m so, so worried about Jim.
I’ve been pacing back and forth in my room, which is practically impossible since the room is tiny to begin with. But I don’t know what else to do with myself.
The wind is howling so loudly that I’m worried it might push the lighthouse over. Papa told me not to worry, that the bricks are strong. But he admitted this storm is a nasty one, and this time of year the Gulf is tormented by strong storms.
He’s been getting calls from the coast guard every hour, telling him which boats have come in. All of them have moored except for Jim’s. Every single one.
I’m watching out the downstairs window now, waiting, hoping. It’s so strange, Diary, how a person’s life can change in one minute. One second you think your life is about to begin, and in another you’re afraid it’ll end before it ever had the chance to take flight.
That’s how I feel right now, like I’m suffocating, like Jim is the air I need to survive, and without him there’s no food or drink on earth that will nourish me.
Oh, wait. The light washed across the water, and I thought that I saw a boat. My heart is racing while I wait for the light to flood that part of the ocean again.
When it does, I squint as hard as possible, and—it’s Jim’s boat. It’s him and his father! Oh my gosh, they’re coming in. They must’ve lost their sense of direction because they don’t normally dock here. But with the storm, they’re probably trying to find land no matter where it is.
Now they’ll be fine. My heart is soaring. He’s safe, and everything will be okay. It’s all right if we don’t leave tonight. I know they’re battered and tired. We can wait. As long as he’s safe, that’s all I care about.
He’ll be here soon. Any time now.
* * *
The lamp went out! Right as Jim and his dad were approaching the shore, the lamp died.
I ran up to the tower, and Papa yelled, “We’ve got to change it! Hurry!”
He dashed down the stairs to the storage room, where we found the bulb. Then we raced back up and I helped him replace it.
Diary, I’ve replaced bulbs so many times that I can do it like clockwork, but my hands were shaking so hard that I could barely hold onto the lamp.
By the time we got the lamp on and the light was whirling around, it took me a minute to spot the boat.
And when I did, my heart sank. It was heading directly to the shore.