As soon as Alice sees Olivia running across the playground, with her arms outstretched, she feels equal measures of happiness and guilt.
“You’re back,” she squeals as Alice picks her up and swings her around. “Is Daddy home too?”
Alice imagines her answer if she decides that Nathan’s cheating is not something she’s prepared to put up with. No, darling, he’s moved out. You can see him every other weekend. Her chest tightens.
“Yes, he’ll be home in time for tea,” she says.
“Yay,” Olivia shrieks excitedly.
Alice turns around and smiles when she sees Sophia coming toward her. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
Her elder daughter’s arms hang limply by her side, but as Alice pulls her closer, she feels them slowly come up and wrap around her.
“I had to return some books to the English department,” she says. “And then I saw this little monkey doing PE on the field, so I thought I’d hang around and walk down.”
“Ah, that’s so nice,” says Alice, kissing Sophia’s forehead and pushing her hair away from her face. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” Sophia shrugs.
“What’s been going on since I last saw you?”
“You’ve only been gone three days,” she exclaims.
“So, nothing new to report?”
“Gossip, you mean?”
Alice smiles. “That obvious, eh?”
Sophia rolls her eyes. “You’re worse than my mates.”
Despite her attempt to look and sound normal, Alice is anything but, as she constantly scans the playground, looking for Beth from behind her sunglasses. She can’t shake the heaviness that’s sitting on her chest—the foreboding feeling of waiting for Beth to turn up, not knowing whether she’s about to throw a grenade in her already fragile world. Hoping for the best, Alice puts her head down and hurriedly leads the way out of school.
“Hello, Alice,” says Beth from her left, blindsiding her.
Heat rushes to her skin, making her feel light-headed. The girls are just a few feet behind her and she has no idea what Beth is going to say or do.
“We still need to talk,” she says quietly.
Alice looks directly at her, all too aware of little Millie standing at her mother’s side. Will I see Tom in her, now that my eyes have new knowledge? she asks herself, too frightened to look.
“Can Olivia come to play?” asks Millie.
Beth raises her eyebrows questioningly at Alice.
“Not today,” says Alice emphatically, her eyes flashing a warning look to Beth.
“Perhaps another time,” says Beth to her daughter.
“Aww, that’s so unfair. Why can’t I go to Olivia’s then?”
“Because you have to wait to be invited,” says Beth patiently. “I assume we’re still invited to Olivia’s party on Sunday?” She’s looking at Alice, who for a split second has no idea what she’s talking about.
“What?”
“Olivia’s party? Is Millie still allowed to come?”
The penny drops as Alice remembers the twenty invitations Olivia had excitedly taken into school two weeks ago. “Um, I don’t know…” she stutters. “I’m not sure there’ll be…” She pulls herself up. Of course Olivia’s birthday celebrations will go ahead. Just because her father is having an affair doesn’t mean that their lives have to be put on hold. But still Alice’s heart beats double-time at the thought of a house full of nine-year-olds, their pushy parents, and her unfaithful husband. She almost groans out loud at the added complication of Beth and Millie being thrown into the mix.
“Please say I can still come,” says Millie tearfully, while tugging on Alice’s skirt.
“Come on, let’s go…” starts Beth, pulling the child away.
“Of course,” says Alice, forcing herself to look at Millie. The little girl’s eyes are filled to the brim and just as she sticks her bottom lip out, a big fat tear runs down her cheek. The jolt that Alice had expected to feel when she looked at her doesn’t come and she crouches down to Millie’s height.
Is that you in there, Tom? She looks into Millie’s eyes, searching for a sign, anything to prove that her beloved husband, the man she thought would never betray her, would do what Beth’s suggesting.
“Of course you can come,” Alice says to Millie. “Olivia wouldn’t have it any other way.”
The little girl’s dismay instantly turns into a grin and she instinctively throws her arms around Alice and kisses her cheek. “Thank you,” she squeals.
Alice avoids eye contact with Beth as she returns to full height.
“When are you free to … you know…?” asks Beth quietly.
“Mum, can I go and sit in the car?” asks Sophia, obviously assuming that the two mums are going to have a long chat, like they usually do.
“Yep, sure,” says Alice, fishing for the keys in her bag.
“Hi, Millie-Moo,” says Sophia, as she affectionately ruffles Millie’s hair. The little girl laughs and Alice feels like she’s stopped breathing.
It’s only then that the full implications of what Tom has done hits her. She’s spent the past week wallowing in self-pity at the realization that her first marriage was a sham. She’d swung from wanting Beth dead to being glad that Tom was no longer alive in her efforts to process what had happened, but at no point does she remember appreciating that Millie and Sophia might be half-sisters.
“We need to sort this out,” says Beth, as if reading her mind. “We can’t carry on, in this state of limbo.”
Alice feels like she might crumple to the floor, but steels herself, refusing to give in.
“I’m not going to do it here and I’m not going to do it at Livvy’s, I mean Olivia’s, birthday party.” She sees Beth balk at the self-correction, as if noting that she’s no longer in the inner circle who knows Olivia well enough to call her Livvy. Alice presses on, keen to convey that she’ll be the one calling the shots. “We’ll arrange something for next week, once we’ve both had a chance to work out what this all means and the consequences that come with you having had an affair with my husband.”
Alice couldn’t help herself.
“Mrs. Davies, Mrs. Davies,” calls out Miss Watts, making her way toward Alice.
Alice fixes on a smile. “Hi.”
“Could I have a word, please?” She looks to Beth. “Perhaps in my classroom would be best.”
“Yes, yes of course,” says Alice as she begins to follow her inside, not knowing what to do with Olivia.
“I’ll keep an eye on her,” says Beth, sensing her predicament. “The girls can have a play.”
It’s all that is needed to force Alice’s decision. She catches hold of Olivia’s hand and marches her inside.
“I’m sorry,” says Miss Watts quietly once they’re in her classroom, so Olivia can’t hear from the corridor outside. “I just wanted to have a word with you to see if we might be able to find out what’s going on with Olivia at the moment.”
“Is there a problem?” asks Alice, careful to temper her impatience. She doesn’t need this on top of everything else.
“Well, yes, I’m afraid there is,” she says, wringing her hands together. “Another parent has called to make a complaint.”
“A complaint?” says Alice, not sure that she heard right. “About what?”
“They are suggesting that Olivia is bullying their child.”
Alice almost laughs. “My Olivia?”
“Erm, yes, I’m afraid so,” she says. “We’ve had said child in for a chat and she won’t say very much. I think it’s because she may be frightened.”
“Are you sure you’ve got this right?” asks Alice, unable to believe that her daughter could possibly be guilty of what she’s being accused of.
“We’ve also spoken to Olivia,” says Miss Watts. “But she says that she’s not been horrible to anyone. But, in these situations, I find there is rarely smoke without fire.”
Alice shakes her head. “I understand that you have to investigate this, but are you absolutely sure you’ve got this the right way round? Just last week I was called in to pick Livvy up from the nurse, after Phoebe had pushed her in the playground. Could it be that it’s actually Phoebe who’s bullying Olivia?”
Miss Watts pulls that therapist face again and Alice feels an overwhelming desire to punch her.
“Phoebe isn’t actually the child in question,” she says.
“She isn’t?” queries Alice. “Well, if it isn’t Phoebe, who is it?”
“I’m afraid I’m not able to divulge that information.”
“So, let me get this straight,” says Alice, feeling like a pressure cooker. “Are you honestly expecting me to ask my eight-year-old child who she’s supposedly bullying, because you’re not prepared to tell me?”
“Well, as we’ve spoken to both girls, I’m hoping that it will rectify itself, but I just wanted to make you aware of the situation as the girl’s mother has threatened to take things further if it’s not resolved.”
“Are you kidding me?” asks Alice incredulously. “They’re eight years old for Christ’s sake.”
Miss Watts looks down at the floor, as if she suddenly wishes she was anywhere but here.
“Who’s the child?” asks Alice again.
“I’m afraid I really can’t say.”
If she knew it wouldn’t reflect badly on Olivia, she’d drag Miss Watts across the classroom by her cheap lapels until she told her.
“Well, then I guess I’ll just have to find out for myself,” Alice snaps as she storms off.