Anyone who wants to stay humble should do what I had to do just prior to the 2017 NFL Draft.
A few days before my draft, with my future in the NFL still very much up in the air, the fantasy sports company DraftKings sent me out into a Philadelphia park not too far from where the draft was being held. Trailed by a camera crew, I interviewed passersby about who they thought were the top quarterbacks in the upcoming draft.
None of the people I spoke with recognized me. That’s where both the fun and the lesson in humility began.
Granted, a few people were familiar with my name. Some people praised me for my mobility and overall skills. And one lady noted that Deshaun Watson should be drafted because he was “cute.”
I’ve always enjoyed talking with people who are that observant!
But I also managed to get an earful. One gentleman said I shouldn’t be taken in the first round, questioning my arm strength and ability to throw on the run. I struggled to find a follow-up question after hearing that. Another gentleman said he didn’t care about the draft at all and that many high picks would be “selling Christmas trees by December.” All I could do was hope that he didn’t include me in that group.
Still, it was a lot of fun, and the people I interviewed got a real charge when they were told who was interviewing them (one young lady kept shouting “That’s not fair!” when she realized who I was). But it was a real lesson in humility for me. Not only did none of them recognize me, but several were less than complimentary about where I should be taken in the draft.
It was a great experience in learning the value of keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground. Like they used to say way back when: never, ever believe your own press clippings. Instead, pay attention to those who speak plainly without any sort of agenda or reasons for saying flattering things.
FOR ME, THE VIRTUE OF REMAINING HUMBLE IS WHAT TIES ALL THE PRIOR QUALITIES TOGETHER WHEN DEVELOPING AS A SERVANT LEADER.
For me, the virtue of remaining humble is what ties all the prior qualities together when developing as a servant leader.
When you’re humble, you focus on what you have, not what you don’t. You recognize that we all have our challenges and problems, and, in a spirit of unity, you’re eager to reach out and help in any way possible.
When you’re humble, you’re naturally hardworking. You’re not about to take anything for granted. Dedication is a given.
When you’re humble, you maintain a sense of balance—the ability to step back and see things as they are without any ego-driven filters or overblown fears. Nothing gets you too high or drops you too low.
When you’re humble, you’re naturally spiritual. You know that there are forces stronger and more powerful than you, and you welcome them into the choices you make.
When you’re humble, you’re open-minded. Your thoughts are not cast in stone. You welcome new thoughts, ideas, and observations.
When you’re humble, you’re observant. You understand that you don’t know everything there is to know, and, by remaining observant, you’re constantly learning.
Humility comes down to being respectful—of others, of groups and institutions with which you may be associated, of new ideas, and, perhaps most important, of yourself. That’s a core characteristic of leadership.
Most of us know what’s good for us and what is not. Unfortunately, that clarity can be inadvertently compromised by short-term influences—shortcuts, moral compromises, and other missteps.
Granted, it’s human to make mistakes. The trick, particularly for a servant leader, is not to make them too often—and to learn from each and every one.
Humility means recognizing that you don’t have all the answers. None of us does. But by putting the values you embrace into practice, you’re humbly expressing your confidence that those values may benefit others as well. A servant leader will not and cannot be perfect. Understanding that helps one grow as a leader who both leads others and serves them.
A lot of football players are big-time talkers. I hear them all the time, defensive players across the line telling me how they’re coming after me, to get ready for a face full of dirt.
I’m not much of a talker. I’d rather make the play and keep my mouth shut, both before and after. I think that’s also an important aspect of being humble. You’re humble in the face of both success and failure.
An old saying suggests that many people talk the talk but don’t walk the walk. Like other issues I’ve discussed, a servant leader doesn’t have that choice.
That’s because servant leaders are judged as much by their actions as they are by their words. And to be a truly effective and inspiring servant leader, you cannot say one thing then do something that runs completely counter to your words. That version of “Do as I say, not as I do” can undermine others’ confidence in your commitment and personal integrity.
That’s one of the key elements I’m continuing to learn about in my development as a leader. To inspire others to follow you, not only do you need to have values with which they identify and embrace, but you must act on those values as well.
TO BE A TRULY EFFECTIVE AND INSPIRING SERVANT LEADER, YOU CANNOT SAY ONE THING THEN DO SOMETHING THAT RUNS COMPLETELY COUNTER TO YOUR WORDS.
Some people imagine that a leader is someone whose values, priorities, and ideas are cast in stone. After all, a leader has to be strong in his or her convictions. That’s certainly true, but by my way of thinking, a leader also has to be exceedingly open-minded. Leaders welcome new ideas, new thoughts, and new perspectives.
Early in my football career, I decided to do all that I could to remain as teachable as possible. As a young player, that wasn’t particularly difficult to do. Listening to others with more insight and experience, you naturally want to take in as much as you can. Remaining open-minded is key to doing that. It’s also a great way to keep you humble.
I’ve carried that over into adulthood and my position as a servant leader of my team. I am every bit as eager as I ever was to learn as much as possible and remain open-minded. If I don’t do those things, I may miss out on a great deal that would improve my play and my overall contribution to the team.
As I see it, a leader who refuses to be open-minded is displaying a destructive form of arrogance—an assumption of knowing all that needs to be known. If you step back and look at that objectively, you’ll see that’s pretty much an impossibility. None of us knows everything worth knowing. To suggest otherwise is simply unrealistic.
Further, as a servant leader, failing to keep an open mind also sends a message to those around you. In effect, you may be suggesting that you don’t value their thoughts and ideas. You’re telling them that, in your mind, they have nothing to contribute. That’s hardly a formula to inspire those around you to pursue great things.
I cannot tell you how many times players have returned to a huddle and told me something that they felt I needed to know. For instance, a receiver may point out that a certain type of coverage is breaking down over the middle of the field or that a linebacker is “cheating” as he moves closer to the line of scrimmage. Almost inevitably, they’re right, and we as a group benefit accordingly. If a leader dismisses that kind of feedback and insight, your success may suffer, not to mention, once again, you’re sending an unstated message to the group that you don’t value what they want to contribute. Keep it to yourself, you’re essentially telling them.
Open-mindedness is a key component for any servant leader, regardless of the setting. It shows that you value everyone—particularly those eager to share new ideas and thoughts.
Staying humble is also a part of understanding when certain types of leadership are appropriate. As a rookie, I understood the value of taking on my leadership role slowly and carefully, not overstepping my bounds. As I’ve been on the team longer, I’ve had to adjust my leadership skills and approach.
For instance, I’ve tried to take the time to learn what styles of interaction certain players prefer. Some, I’ve come to realize, like a more intimate, calm, one-on-one environment. Others, believe it or not, embrace the experience of being yelled at in front of the rest of the team. The visibility fires them up.
Ultimately, no matter how I try to convey it, I like to let the others around me know that I value them and that I don’t think I’m in a position of greater importance than they are. My goal has always been to lead as well as serve, and I think that emerges when I take the time to approach every player as an individual rather than just another number on a football squad.
MY GOAL HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO LEAD AS WELL AS SERVE, AND I THINK THAT EMERGES WHEN I TAKE THE TIME TO APPROACH EVERY PLAYER AS AN INDIVIDUAL RATHER THAN JUST ANOTHER NUMBER ON A FOOTBALL SQUAD.
I once heard someone say that once we all stop learning, we stop living. By being humble, keeping an open mind, and remaining open to teaching moments, servant leaders can avoid that unfortunate fate and, in so doing, help those around them to do the same.
PASS IT ON
• What do you think makes a person humble? Do you consider yourself humble? Have you considered what benefits you can receive if you approach things with a humble perspective?
• Think of an experience where you were not particularly humble. How did that make you feel? Did your lack of humility affect the outcome of the situation?
• When you’ve found yourself in a position of leadership, how do you approach those you lead? Do you see and address them as a group or as individuals who would benefit from a more one-on-one strategy?
YOUR CHALLENGE
The next time you’re having a conversation with someone who knows more about a particular topic than you, tell that person how much you appreciate the shared knowledge. Being humble builds both relationships and your own personal store of knowledge.