Sometime after midnight the wind died, and the temperature hovered in the upper thirties. Above the shadowy forest, the Milky Way smeared the indigo sky and stars danced and twinkled.
So beautiful…and so scary for a little girl alone.
Cold and more worried than he had ever been in his life, Jesse huddled deeper into his fleece jacket and thought about going back to the house to call the police. But Winding Stair was a small town manned by one police officer per shift. By the time the officer rounded up a search party, morning would be here. Surely, he’d find Jade before then.
Stomping on through the woods, twigs and branches snapping beneath his feet, he thought of how terrified Jade must be. Every sound magnified in the silence. For a child who feared the dark and suffered nightmares, the dark woods held unfathomable terrors.
He envisioned her as she’d been in the barn. Though warmly dressed in her coat and heavy jeans, her hood had been down. Would she think to put it up?
Was she cold? Was she crying? Was she hurt?
The torments of not knowing ate at him like hungry wolves.
For the first two hours he’d run on adrenaline. Now he was running on sheer determination.
From in front of him came a scratching, rustling noise.
A dark form loomed, and, with a swift surge of hope, he rushed forward. His boots snagged on twisted, twining tree roots growing above ground. He stumbled but managed to catch himself on the rough bark of an ancient blackjack, jarring his wrists in the process.
A startled possum drew back to hiss a warning, beady red eyes aglow in the flashlight beam. Jesse sagged in disappointment and hoped Jade didn’t encounter any nocturnal animals.
He hoped she didn’t encounter Sushi either.
Trudging onward, deeper into the thickening woods, he called her name over and over.
“Jade!”
The call was swallowed up in the dense trees. He paused to listen, longing for the answering call. Only the awful silence of a dark winter’s night replied.
He had to find her. Soon. He was a grown man and the cold and fatigue was wearing on him. How could a child hold out for long?
Fear and dread pulled at him, much stronger than the weariness.
If anything had happened to his baby, he couldn’t go on. He would have no reason.
Another hour passed with no sign of the dark-haired angel. He found himself murmuring half-formed prayers.
“Please help me find her. Please protect her.”
The weight on his chest grew until he thought he’d smother. Finally, when he could bear the stress no longer, he cried out, half in anger, half in hope-filled despair. “God, are You listening? Do You care?”
An owl hooted in the distance and, had the situation not been so serious, Jesse would have laughed. Leave it to Jesse Slater to pray to God and be answered by an owl.
But he didn’t know what else to do. Lindsey believed in prayer. Clarence said God always answered, one way or the other. The way he figured it, no one was out here to hear him anyway or to know that Jesse had lost his reason along with his daughter. Praying would keep his mind from considering all the terrifying possibilities. And it sure couldn’t hurt anything.
His prayers began in desperation.
“Lord, I know You’re up there watching. I’ve always believed You were real, but I don’t know You very well. Not like Lindsey and Clarence do. I have no right to ask favors, but maybe You’ll do this one thing for Jade. Help me find her, Lord. Show me where she is.”
A tree branch sliced across his face. He jerked back, fingered the skin and dismissed the scratch as inconsequential.
“Take care of her, God. Don’t let her be scared. I know she is. I promised Erin I’d take care of our baby. Now look what I’ve done. I’ve lost her.” A cry of grief pushed at his windpipe. “Don’t let anything happen to her. I beg You not to take her, too.”
The words of his prayer became jumbled, tumbling out from a heart filled with fear and seasoned with suffering.
“Was it me, Lord? Have I done something so bad that everyone I love gets taken away? Mama and Erin are gone. Don’t take Jade. I’ll do anything. Anything.”
Somewhere—far too close for comfort—coyotes yipped and howled, raising the hair on Jesse’s neck.
Pausing next to an outcropping of boulders, he shouted, “Jade! Jade!”, until his voice broke.
As he collapsed exhausted onto the rocks, tears gathered behind his eyelids. He hadn’t let himself cry when Erin died, fearing his grief would be too terrible for Jade to witness. Truth be told, he hadn’t cried in a long time.
“Oh, God, I don’t know what to do. She’s out there and she’s scared.” He buried his cold, damp face in gloved hands. “Please help me.”
Clarence claimed God was a friend who cared, who longed for friendship in return. Could that be true? All these years, he’d assumed he was last on God’s Christmas list. Could he have been wrong all this time?
He began to pray in earnest then, pouring out the sorrow and agony of his past as if God didn’t already know his life story. And yet the telling cleansed him, released him from the torment and anger he’d harbored so long, as though God Himself took on the load and carried his sorrows away.
He didn’t know how long he sat there talking, but when he raised his face to the star-sprinkled heavens he was a new man—still terribly afraid for his child, but renewed in a way he couldn’t begin to explain or understand.
All these years he’d thought God had abandoned him. But now he saw as clearly as he saw the Milky Way above—he’d been the one to pull away and forget the Lord. Now he understood what Lindsey had meant when she’d said that God would never leave or forsake us. God didn’t. But man did.
At the reminder of Lindsey, regret pushed into his consciousness. Every time his own guilt started to eat at him, he lashed out at her, and he’d done it again tonight over the dog.
Maybe Jade had become frightened and run away from Sushi, but he couldn’t blame Lindsey for that. She only meant good for Jade. She loved her.
And she loved him.
“Lord, I’m so unworthy. Of her. Of You. I hope she can forgive me.” He raised his head and stared into the heavens. “I hope You will too.”
A gentle warmth, startling in the cold, suffused him as if someone had draped an electric blanket over his shoulders.
With restored courage and a Friend to guide him, he pushed off the boulder and set out to find his daughter.
At the first gray promise of morning, Jesse turned back and headed out of the woods. All through the long night, he’d walked and searched and prayed. Twice he and Lindsey had crossed paths and then parted again to cover more ground. The wooded area expanded to the north and eventually became a state park. There were miles and miles to cover if Jade had gone in that direction. Now, he had little choice but to call in a search team.
Eyes scratchy and dry from cold and sleeplessness, he continued to strain at every shadow, hoping, praying. He was peering beneath a low-hanging cedar when a terrifying sound raised the hair on his neck.
Growling, snarling animal sounds—whether of dog or coyote or wolf, he couldn’t tell—came from somewhere to his left. Breaking into a dead run, he headed toward the sound.
A gunshot ripped the morning quiet. Birds flapped up from the trees, filling the air with rushing wings and frightened calls.
Jesse’s heart jump-started. Though beyond weary, the rush of adrenaline propelled him faster.
Barking and snarling became louder, and he recognized the sound—a dog. Sushi.
Fear mixed with anger whipped through him.
Breaking through the dense growth of trees, he glimpsed a purple coat. A small form, black hair spilled out all around, lay curled on the ground. Sushi, hair raised and teeth bared, stood over her.
Heart in his throat, Jesse cried out. “Jade!”
The dog spun toward the voice just as Lindsey arrived from the opposite direction.
“Daddy, Daddy!” Jade sat up, gripping Sushi’s neck as though the dog was a lifeline.
Everything was happening too fast. Jesse couldn’t comprehend anything except the sight of his little girl on the ground and the dog standing over her. Rushing forward, he fell to the earth and yanked Jade into his arms, away from the animal.
“Are you all right? Did the dog bite you? Did she hurt you?” Pushing her a little away, he frantically checked her for injuries. Her cheeks were red and her face dirty, but otherwise she appeared all right.
Lindsey’s smoky voice, strained with exhaustion came toward them. She still carried the flashlight and her gun. “Sushi didn’t hurt her, Jesse. She protected her.”
Pressing his child close to him for warmth and safety, he looked up into Lindsey’s red-rimmed eyes.
“What do you mean? She was standing over Jade’s helpless body, ready to attack.”
“No, Daddy, no.” Jade pulled his face around to gain his full attention. “Sushi tried to fight the bad dogs that came.”
Jesse blinked in bewilderment. “Bad dogs?”
He looked at the German shepherd sitting a few feet away, and then toward the woods from whence Lindsey had come.
His mind began to clear and reason returned. Lindsey had fired the shots and followed something into those woods. “Coyotes?”
Carefully placing her rifle on the ground, Lindsey knelt in front of him. With a soft smile, she stroked Jade’s tangled hair. “Coyotes don’t usually approach humans, but she was small and still and probably looked vulnerable. I heard Sushi’s warning growl and arrived in time to chase them off. Thank God.”
A shiver ripped through Jesse. He squeezed his eyes closed against the unthinkable image of Jade and a pack of coyotes. “Yes. Thank God.”
Lindsey noticed the words of praise. Her eyes questioned him, but she made no comment. As naturally as if he’d done it forever, he pulled Lindsey against his other side and held her there. His girls, one on each side, where he wanted them.
“And Sushi, too, Daddy,” Jade insisted. “She stayed the night with me. She snuggled me up and made me be warm. I cried, but she licked my face.”
Jesse’s heart ached at the image of his daughter alone and afraid and crying. But he was happy too, and relieved beyond words.
“Where were you, sweetheart? How did you get lost?”
Jade pointed at the sky. Her knit gloves were dirty and loaded with bits of grass and twigs.
“I wanted the star.”
Lindsey appeared as puzzled as he. “What star, Jade?”
“The falling star. For Daddy.” She cupped a hand over her mouth and leaned toward Lindsey. In a conspiratorial whisper, she said, “For a present. So he would like Christmas again.”
A lump filled Jesse’s throat. Jade had ventured into the dark and frightening night alone to capture a shooting star for him. To make him happy.
He pressed his face into her hair, chest aching enough to burst. “Oh, baby. Daddy’s so sorry.”
She patted his ears. “It’s okay, Daddy. I didn’t find the star, and I got lost. But my guarding angel was with me, just like Lindsey said. Sushi and me went to sleep, and I wasn’t scared anymore.”
The German shepherd sat on her haunches, tail sweeping the brown earth, eyes shining as if she knew she’d done a good thing. With a final hug, Jade pushed up from Jesse’s lap and went to embrace the big furry dog.
“Sushi is my friend.”
Who would think a guardian angel had a fur coat and four legs?
His gaze locked with Lindsey’s.
Or had another kind of angel protected his daughter?
“I owe you an apology, and this dog a T-bone steak,” he told Lindsey.
She shook her head, tangled, windblown hair swinging around her tired face. He thought she looked beautiful. “No apologies or steaks are needed. We can thank God He used Sushi to protect Jade when we couldn’t.”
“I was wrong about the dog.” Now was his chance to tell her the rest. “I’ve been wrong about a lot of things. But last night, when I was scared out of my mind, God and I had a long talk.”
Hope sprang into her expression. “You did?”
They were cold and tired and needed to get back to the house, but some things couldn’t wait to be told.
“You were right. God was here all the time, waiting for me to make the first move. I’m only sorry I waited so long.”
“Oh, Jesse.” Lindsey threw her arms around his neck and kissed his rough, unshaven cheek. Then, as if she regretted the spontaneous act, she drew back, blushing.
Her golden eyes were inches away and the look of love was there for any fool to see. Suddenly all his reservations faded away as easily as the daybreak had chased away the night.
He loved Lindsey Mitchell. He wondered why he’d fought it so long. She was everything good and beautiful he wanted in his life.
He waited, expecting to be engulfed with guilt because of Erin. This time the feeling never came. Loving Lindsey in no way negated the love he’d had for his wife, but Erin was gone, and she would have handed him his head for not letting her go sooner. She would have expected him to take care of their daughter and to get on with living.
And that’s exactly what he intended to do.
“Come back here, woman.” Elbow locked around her neck, he drew Lindsey close again. He hardly noticed the cold ground seeping through his clothes. “A kiss on the cheek won’t cut it.”
Her eyes widened, but she didn’t pull away.
With a silent prayer of thanks, Jesse bent his head and kissed Lindsey’s sweet mouth.
“What was that?” she asked when they parted, her voice even huskier after a night in the cold.
“Something amazing has happened. Something I thought was impossible. I have a lot of things to tell you later, when we’re rested and warm, but there’s one thing that can’t wait.” He cupped her cheek, unable to take his eyes off her, now that he recognized the truth. “I love you, Lindsey.”
A multitude of emotions played over her face.
“Oh, Jesse, I’m going to cry.”
He winced in mock horror. “Don’t even think about it. At least, not until you say you love me too.”
Eyes glistening with unshed tears, she stroked a hand over his jaw. “I do. With everything in me.”
Jesse’s heart filled to the bursting point. This woman had done so much for him. She’d made him a better man than he’d ever dreamed of being. She’d loved him in a way that healed the gaping wound he’d carried around inside for so long. And most of all, she’d led him back to the Lord.
The morning sun broke over the eastern horizon, orange as a pumpkin, and as bright as the new light shining in Jesse’s soul.
The increasing temperature was welcome, but the morning air was still cold enough to be uncomfortable.
“Time to get you and the butterbean back to the house.”
“Time to go to work,” she argued, but didn’t move from her place in his arms. “Customers won’t wait, no matter how tired we are.”
Customers. All night, he’d been so preoccupied with finding his daughter that he hadn’t thought of the long day ahead.
“I’ll take care of the farm today.” He kissed her on the nose and then set her on her feet. “You and Jade will have a good breakfast and plenty of sleep.”
“I’ll argue with you later,” she said. “Right now that breakfast sounds too tempting to pass up.”
Jesse chuckled, shaking his head at this special woman. He’d have to lock her in the house to keep her away from the tree patch, no matter how much sleep she did or didn’t get. As for himself, he felt as invigorated as if he’d slept for days.
Holding hands, they started toward Jade. The little lost angel jogged around in circles with Sushi, appearing unfazed by her eventful night.
“From the looks of her, Jade had a lot more sleep than either of us.”
“Thanks to Sushi,” Jesse admitted.
A soft smile curved Lindsey’s mouth. The light in her eyes spoke volumes. “And her guardian angel.”
The situation with the farm and his rightful ownership tried to press in, but Jesse shoved the thoughts away. Right now, he wanted to bask in all the good things that had come from this strange night. Today he was happy to love and be loved. He’d worry about his dilemma some other time.