Many women confuse strength with external power. I submit to you that strength rises from the inside, from the very core of our being. If we are strengthened from within, we can stand firm even when the unexpected storms of life begin to blow. Many women are secretly weak on the inside, playacting at strength in front of others who are looking on. They falter in their attempts to stand strong when external forces rise against them. May it not be so. Gird yourselves, ladies. Storms will come. I can attest to that, having walked through more than my share, of late. But if you’re strong on the inside, you will stand firm.
—Ellie Cannady, editor of The Modern Suffragette
* * * * *
THE FOLLOWING SATURDAY MORNING, ALANNA awoke chilled to the bone. She shivered and pulled the quilt up to her chin. Next to her, Tessa continued to doze. Burrowing under the covers, Alanna got as close to her sister as she could without waking her, in the hopes of warming up.
Unfortunately, that did not happen. Minutes later Alanna rose from the bed, her teeth chattering. She pulled on her housecoat and took a few tentative steps toward the window. Streaks of early morning sunlight flitted in through the window, but what she saw sparkling beneath that sunlight caused her to lose her breath. Outside, everything was covered in a fresh white blanket of crystallized snow. The shimmers of early morning light reflected off the ground, nearly blinding her.
Alanna could hardly breathe. Sure, she’d seen snow off in the distance as they had traveled. And, yes, the mountain ranges surrounding Missoula were capped in the stuff. But up close? Snow so fresh you could practically taste it? Never!
“Tessa!” she called. “Tessa, wake up!”
Her younger sister rolled over in the bed and yawned then reached to pull the quilt up over her shoulder. “C–cold!”
“There’s a reason for that. Come look.”
“No.” Tessa huddled under the covers, her teeth now chattering.
“You have to see this. I promise you won’t be disappointed.” Alanna pointed outside to the picture-postcard scene.
Tessa rose, grumbling all the way. “I don’t know what’s so important that you have to get me out of bed. I was having the loveliest dream about a certain handsome cowboy.” She gave Alanna a little wink.
“Never mind all that. Just come look.”
Tessa wrapped herself in the quilt and took a few steps in her direction. “What is it?”
“Look.” The word came out as a whisper. Alanna pointed off in the distance to the large field just beyond the side yard. “Have you ever seen anything like it?” She turned her gaze away from the window to glance at her sister.
Tessa stood motionless in what appeared to be stunned silence, her eyes wide and mouth rounded to a perfect O. “Oh, Lana!” She came closer and wiped her palm against the window, but the glass didn’t clear despite her rubbing. “It’s coming down in sheets.”
“Or would that be blankets?” Alanna giggled. “Whatever it is, it’s beautiful.” Her gaze drifted up to the heavens, to the heavy, white sky. Somewhere up there the Lord had orchestrated all of this, just as He’d orchestrated the warm sunny days in Savannah.
“It’s exquisite.” Tessa raced for the bed and reached for her slippers. “And the sooner I can get out there to feel it for myself, the better.”
“Don’t forget to put on your warmest clothes. You’re going to catch your death, otherwise.”
“I’ll be fine, Alanna. Why is it you always find the need to ruin my good time?”
This stopped Alanna from adding, “And don’t forget your coat.” Instead, she offered up a shrug.
Tessa, in her usual fashion, rushed to dress and didn’t even bother with a coat. No doubt she would turn up later with a head cold. Nothing Alanna could do about that. If her little sister chose to put her health in danger, so be it.
Alanna took care to dress warmly and then grabbed her heavy coat. She slung it over her arm and made her way downstairs, where she found Margaret in the kitchen, making pancakes.
“If you’re looking for Tessa, she headed outside to play in the snow.”
“Ah. I might like to take a walk out there, myself.”
“Be careful, Alanna. The walkway is iced over. Guard your step and keep an eye out for Tanner, will you?”
“Tanner?” For whatever reason, her heart leaped at the mention of his name.
“Yes. He’s bringing over some sugar. We were running low and I didn’t want Brett to have to make a trip into town in such bad weather. Mama and I plan to make cookies today. Lots and lots of them. And we’re baking a cake for the party too.”
“Very gentlemanly of Tanner to bring by the sugar.” Perhaps my lessons are working already.
“Yes, well, that’s not out of character for him, you will learn. He’s definitely one of the kindest people I’ve ever known. And polite too.”
“Oh, very.” Alanna shrugged on her coat then opened the door that led from the kitchen to the backyard. “I’ll be back shortly, no doubt.” She took just a couple of steps out onto the porch before her teeth began to chatter. No sooner did she realize she’d left her gloves inside than a familiar voice came from behind her. She turned to discover Brett walking her way.
“Enjoying our weather?” He flashed a boyish grin, and she noticed the frozen mist on his beard.
Alanna shivered, her fingers now feeling a bit numb. “It’s beautiful, but I don’t believe I could live like this.”
“Oh, you get used to it. Just ask Margaret. That first winter she shivered nonstop, but these days she scarcely notices the cold. Besides, there are some wonderful things you can do in wintery weather. Take sleigh rides, for instance. And ice-skating.”
“Ice-skating?”
“Yes.” His eyes sparkled. “Ever tried it? Soaring across the ice, free as a bird, with the winter winds whipping through your hair and the afternoon sunshine bright on your face. Wonderful fun.”
“I doubt that.” Alanna tried to imagine herself slipping and sliding across the ice but could not. Her mind clouded over as she thought about her poor sister, having to acclimate to such intense weather conditions. The more she thought about it—the more she pondered Margaret’s sacrifices—the more frustrated she got. Finally unable to hold her feelings inside, Alanna turned Brett’s way, ready to speak her mind.
“Admit it.”
“Admit what?” Brett stamped his feet on the porch and snow fell off in clumps. He glanced back up at Alanna, his brow furrowed.
She folded her arms over her chest, determination setting in. “This was never Margaret’s dream. It was yours. You’re a dreamer. You always have been.”
“There’s nothing wrong with being a dreamer, Lana.”
“Please don’t call me that. Having a nickname as a child was fine, but I’m grown now.”
He shoved his hands into his coat pockets and leaned against the side of the house. “Then surely you’re old enough to understand that Margaret is here of her own free will. She married me knowing that I planned to come to Montana to raise cattle and be near my family. She loves it here.”
Alanna shivered, regret sweeping over her. Why had she started this conversation out-of-doors, in the bitter cold? “I’m not sure love is the correct word. She’s swept away by the beautiful surroundings, true, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say she’s happy here.”
“What do you mean?” Creases formed on his brow. “Has she hinted at some sort of unhappiness?”
“No, but I can see it in her eyes.” Alanna drew in a deep breath, and the cold air sent a shock of pain into her chest. “S–she’s d–downcast much of the time.”
With the wave of a hand, Brett appeared to dismiss her concerns. “Ah. I’m sure that has something to do with the weather. She often gets a bit blue in the wintertime.”
“All the more reason to bring her back to the South, where it’s warm.”
“Is that what this is about, Lana?” He sighed then said, “Alanna.”
“Coming back home just makes sense. There’s nothing for you here, Brett. Nothing long-term, anyway.”
He shook his head and reached for the doorknob. “You’re wrong about that. I find everything I need in Montana. If you would give it a shot, you would find a few things here to enjoy, yourself.” He disappeared inside the house in a huff and Alanna felt her shoulders slump forward as defeat set in. Why, oh why, had she chosen today to bring up the subject? Hadn’t she agreed to wait until the proper time to share her thoughts?
She lifted her hands to blow on them, hoping the pain in her fingers would cease. Instead, her breath seemed to cloud the air between her mouth and her hands. Fascinating. This served to distract her from the obvious problem.
“Are you all right?” A familiar voice sounded from behind her.
She turned to find Tanner standing close enough to reach out and touch her. “W–where did you come from?”
“Ah, the age-old question. From what my mother tells me, the stork left me in the vegetable garden.” The laughter that followed warmed Alanna’s heart, if not her hands. He shifted the bags of sugar from one arm to another.
“I–I’ve never felt c–c–cold like this before.” Her teeth took to chattering once again. “Hurts a–all the w–way to the b–bone.”
“Guess I’m just used to it, but we’d better get you inside.”
“I came out to look for—” Just then, Tessa breezed by them, bumping Tanner in the shoulder as she passed and almost knocking the bags of sugar from his arms.
“Oops. Sorry, Tanner. Must not have been looking where I was going.”
“Mm-hmm.” Alanna fought the desire to roll her eyes. Tessa knew exactly where she was going and what she was doing.
“Coming in?” Tessa held the door open and gave Tanner a sweet smile.
He turned back to look at Alanna, who nodded, every part of her body now trembling from the cold.
They stepped inside, and she remained in her coat, still shaking. Tanner walked to the counter on the far side of the room and put the bags of sugar down then greeted Margaret, who gave him a hug.
“I just love the snow!” Tessa exclaimed. “It’s absolutely divine.”
“It took me some time to get used to it, to be quite honest,” Margaret said. “That first winter I didn’t stop shivering until the snow thawed. But I hardly notice it now.”
So Brett said.
Alanna’s fingers and toes cried out in tingling pain. Whatever could be causing such a reaction to the cold?
“Now I’ve learned how to dress myself so that I’m prepared.” Margaret paused from stirring the pancake batter. I can’t wear my fancy shoes and dresses like I did back home, but that’s all right. I’ve gotten used to it. I just make sure I wear several layers of clothing to keep warm. And gloves, of course.” She gave Alanna a funny look.
“Warm hands, warm heart.” Tanner poured himself a cup of coffee then took a seat at the table. “That’s what my mama always says.”
“Actually, I think it’s more important to keep the feet warm,” Margaret said. “I’ve learned that when my feet are warm, the rest of my body follows suit. That’s why we keep a warm brick at the foot of the bed at night, so that our toes are toasty.” A smile followed. “Brett is the sweetest husband in the world. He always thinks of little things like that to take good care of me, especially now that we have a little one on the way.” She ran her hand across her belly and smiled.
Alanna was silent until the tingling subsided in her fingers. She thought through her earlier conversation with Brett before adding to the conversation. “I can’t quite figure you out, Margaret,” she said at last.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re strong and independent, ready to change the country and the lives of women from shore to shore. But you melt like butter whenever Brett’s name is mentioned.”
“Is that all?” Margaret grinned. “Well, loving my husband doesn’t make me weak. Just the opposite, in fact. His love strengthens me from the inside out. It gives me courage and makes me think I’m capable of anything I set my heart and mind to.”
“That’s what the love of a good man will do.” Tanner gave a brusque nod then took a hefty swig of his coffee.
While she found his remark humorous, Alanna did not say so. Indeed, she found herself distracted by Margaret’s comments about Brett. They seemed contradictory to her sister’s stance on women’s rights, at least to Alanna’s way of thinking. How could she be so enamored with a man one minute and so set on women being freed from their proverbial yokes the next? Nothing about this made sense. Why couldn’t Margaret make up her mind? Either she linked arms with the suffragettes or she sang the praises of the man she loved.
“I suppose I’m just confused.” Alanna shrugged, ready to be done with this conversation and ready to feel her toes once more.
“Maybe you’re thinking too hard.” Margaret’s grin lit the room. “Honestly, I don’t spend my days thinking about my independence or the lack thereof. Not when I have a husband as wonderful as Brett. My beliefs haven’t changed. I still believe what the Bible says about men and women. I’m not trying to rewrite the greatest love story of all time. I mention this only because you seem concerned.”
She went off on a tangent, listing several of her favorite Bible stories. Alanna tried to stay focused but found her thoughts flittering away. If what Margaret said was true—if loving a good man really could strengthen you from the inside out—then, perhaps, what she needed was a good man.
* * * * *
TANNER TRUDGED HIS WAY PAST mounds of newly banked snow, headed to the barn. His boots left slushy prints along the way. In spite of the cold, he felt warmed from spending time with Alanna. Well, until those last few moments when she and Margaret held that awkward conversation.
No point in worrying about that right now. He was a man on a mission, after all, responding to a request from the ladies: find Brett. Ask him to come inside for breakfast.
Tanner stepped inside the barn and brushed the snow from his shoulders. “Brett?” He called out his brother’s name but heard no answer. He tried again. Still nothing.
Tanner made his way toward the stalls, where he checked on Prissy, who was huddled against several bales of hay.
“Mornin’, girl. How are you today?”
He half expected her to respond. Instead, she huddled low next to several of the other heifers.
Tanner stepped beside her and patted her on the back. “Don’t blame you. It’s always warmer in a herd.”
For whatever reason, the words put him in mind of Katie and those women friends of hers. Whenever they got together, they sure could get things heated up. Not that he was comparing them to cattle, but one thought had certainly stirred the other.
“Little brother, you out here talking to the cows again?”
Tanner turned and grinned when he saw his brother. “Margaret said I’d find you out here. It’s time for breakfast.”
“Looks like you showed up just in time.” Brett’s gaze narrowed. “Kind of like yesterday morning. And the morning before that.”
A strange uneasiness settled over him. “Have I overstayed my welcome or something?”
“Nope. That’s not my point. I think you’re coming for something far more exciting than breakfast, that’s all.”
Tanner opened his mouth to respond, but since he couldn’t think of anything intelligent to say, he closed it again.
“Yep. Just what I thought.” Brett’s expression—half smile, half smirk—shared his feelings on the matter. “You’re smitten, aren’t you?”
“Smitten?” Tanner snorted. “Since when do you use words like smitten?”
“Since I married a woman from the South. And don’t laugh, little brother. If that sister of hers gets her clutches in you, you’ll say things like that too. Those Southern belles have a way of turning a man’s heart—and life—upside down.” Brett went to work tending to Prissy. He gave the cow a gentle pat on the backside then turned to face Tanner head-on.
“Oh, well, I…”
“Looks like it’s already started.” Brett grinned. “No need to stutter. I understand completely. At least you’re still able to speak. You might remember that I went mute for a couple of weeks after falling in love with Margaret.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Tanner blurted out. “Besides, I have a perfectly good reason for being here. Margaret asked me to bring over some sugar for the coffee. Don’t you remember? We had this conversation last night just as I left for home.”
“And the night before that, she asked you to bring flour for a cake.”
“Right.”
“And the night before that, she asked you to bring eggs.”
“Well, yes.”
“Starting to see a pattern here? Either the women love to bake or they’re after something else entirely.” Brett laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, Tanner. I’m happy to have you stop by as often as you like. But I hope you’re smart enough to see that you’re being played like Pa’s fiddle. These girls know who they want to rope and how to go about it.”
Tanner sighed. “You make me sound like a rodeo bull.”
“Maybe you are. I think they’re lookin’ to see how long they can hang onto the possibilities of winning you over before you buck ’em off. Or vice versa. I hate to tell you this, but these so-called “genteel” women are all about the chase. Just think of ’em like you would a hunter on the trail of a moose.”
“That would make me the moose.”
“Or the moose’s rear end.” Brent chuckled. “But who am I to talk? I’m happily married to the prettiest gal in the county.”
“Hmm.” Tanner paused to absorb his brother’s words, realizing they weren’t exactly true. Margaret was a handsome woman, no doubt about it. But no one beat Alanna when it came to true beauty.
He offered up a lame shrug. “Anyway, we’re wanted inside. It’s time to eat. And, between you and me, I’m starved. So if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to forget about this conversation and just go have breakfast.”
Thank goodness, Brett went along with the idea. Moments later, Tanner found himself seated at the spacious breakfast table with the ladies gathered ’round—eating fluffy pancakes coated in sticky maple syrup, talking about the first snowfall of the season…and gazing with great longing into the prettiest green eyes this side of the Rockies.
Yep, the ladies might be playing him like Pa’s fiddle, but right now the music sounded mighty sweet.