Thanks for coming over to help me pick out my date outfit before your ER shift,” Gabby said to Sara, who was stretched out on her bed in the carriage house. It was noon on Saturday, an hour before Gabby’s lunch date with Pastor Owen. She stood examining herself in the full-length cheval mirror next to her closet while Sara struggled not to fall asleep. Gabby needed her to be awake and critiquing her clothes. Thanks to expensive product, Gabby’s hair was (semi)tamed, and right now she wore a pale pink lacy dress with a high neck—modest, of course, with the hem hitting her knee.
Her date was the nice, kind minister whom everyone loved, she reminded herself, and who wanted to settle down with an equally nice, kind person.
“Nice” and “kind” were important traits, but Gabby also wanted to find a soul mate. A honey. Someone to have kids with before it was too late. There was no use pretending that wasn’t what she wanted.
Sara supervised her getting ready by lying back on her bed and closing her eyes. Gabby knew from past experience that when Sara assumed that posture, she’d be asleep in another minute. “I feel so lazy today,” Sara said. “I must’ve caught a bug from one of my patients.”
“You look terrible,” Gabby said. “You okay?”
“I sort of…lost my lunch.”
Oh my God. “Sara, are you…”
“No. I don’t know. I mean, I haven’t checked.”
“Let me run and get you a pregnancy test.”
Sara covered her eyes with her arm. “I’m afraid.”
Gabby walked over and sat on the bed next to her sister, resting a hand on her arm. “Of what Colton will say? He strikes me as the kind of person who would be ecstatically thrilled at that kind of news.”
“It’s not that. It’s just…”
“Let me get you something to drink and a cold cloth for your head.”
“Thanks, but I’m okay. It’s just…well, we’ve only been married eight months, and marriage is an adjustment.”
“Are you saying things aren’t going well? Because the way you two look at each other makes me think everything is just fine.”
“Everything is fine. We want kids, and I’m thirty-two so it’s time to get started. It’s just…life changing, you know?”
Gabby wrapped her arms around her sister and hugged her tight. “It’s okay to be scared,” she said, her voice cracking a little. She knew that both of them were thinking the exact same thing. Ever since their mom died, they’d given each other hugs, but when it was really important, they squeezed extra hard—as if their mom were there too. “You’re going to make the best mom. It’s going to be wonderful,” Gabby said, her eyes filling up as she digested this news. Holy Estrogen.
Sara smiled. “Thanks, Gabs. Is that your first outfit?”
Gabby stood where Sara could see her. “What do you think?”
Sara cracked open an eye. “Too…virginal,” she said.
Gabby clapped her hands and pointed at Sara. “That’s exactly the look I’m going for,” she said.
“No use pretending,” Sara said with her eyes closed, but she displayed a half grin. “Why don’t you just wear a habit?”
“Um, wrong denomination.”
“You could do what the nuns taught us in school,” Sara said.
“What’s that?” Gabby asked, stripping off the pink dress and grabbing a bright red halter dress.
“You could kneel down, and I could see if your hem touches the floor. Which, with that awful pink one, it probably does.”
“But that’s a good thing,” Gabby said.
“…if you’re eighty,” Sara added.
Gabby tied the halter top around her neck. “How about this one?”
“Too much boob,” Sara said. “I mean, geez. It’s the minister!”
“You’re giving me mixed messages. Sara, open your eyes.”
“What is it?” she asked, startling awake.
“Stop falling asleep. Do you think he’s—I mean, do you think he’s ever—”
“He’s thirty-five,” Sara said. “But he might be a virgin. And if he is, you two might have a very quick engagement.”
Gabby gave Sara a look. “That’s not funny. I just don’t know what kind of woman he’s expecting.”
“See, that’s your problem. Why are you trying to be what he expects? Just be you.”
Gabby chose a third dress: a light blue eyelet sundress, sleeveless, and jewel-necked.
“Perfect,” Sara said. Gabby went to the mirror to put on lipstick. She must’ve let out an audible sigh because Sara opened her eyes again and said, “What’s wrong?”
That was the thing about her sister—she could always tell.
“Nothing,” Gabby said, but even to herself she sounded like she was hedging.
“It’s the professor. Just say it.”
“No. I’ve given up on him.”
“How so?” Sara must’ve sensed the seriousness of the conversation, because she climbed out of bed and started to put clothes back on hangers for her sister, something she’d done many times in the past. Sara had always been tidy and orderly. Gabby…not so much. Gabby appreciated the effort.
“It was too complicated, with me being his student. And he’s been burned pretty badly by his ex. He’s been pretty clear on not wanting a relationship.”
“So are you going to fool around with him?”
“Sara! I’m going out with the minister. I’m supposed to be thinking about him, not Cade.”
“Gabby, you can’t replace someone in your mind with someone else just because you want to.”
“The minister is really cute and nice. And a whole lot less complicated. Plus, he wants to settle down. That’s what I want—someone to love. And children. I’m not going to spend my time dreaming of someone who doesn’t want that too.”
“Well, follow your heart,” Sara said, climbing back onto the bed. “Can I crawl under your covers and take a nap until I have to leave for work? I’m exhausted.”
“Of course. But did you just say follow my heart?”
“Yes. Of course I did.”
“Knowing the decisions I’ve made in the past, you’d still say that?”
“You mean Malcolm? I think you learned a lot from that.”
“Usually you scold me when it comes to following my heart. Sometimes I’m impulsive. I jump in without thinking, and I don’t want to be like that. I want to be a thoughtful, careful person who makes the right choices.”
“I think you’ve been very thoughtful about this whole thing. Gabby, no one has a blueprint for life. We wing it as we go. How we learn what we want and what is best for us is by trial and error. I know it may seem like this to you, but no one is examining your past mistakes under a microscope but you.” Sara peeled back the bedspread and positioned a pillow for a nap. “The most important thing is you have to make yourself happy first. Find what that is, go for it with everything you’ve got, and don’t look back.”
Gabby looked at herself in the mirror. She wanted to be the kind of woman who stood up for what she wanted—her writing, a shot at love and kids. That meant not wasting time on men who didn’t want the same things, no matter how charming they were.
She turned around to thank Sara for the wisdom, but Sara was already fast asleep.
* * *
It had been a long time since Gabby had been to Fallside, the restaurant in the center of downtown with wide-open views of the pretty, multitiered falls. It was a classic date destination, but it hadn’t been pricey enough for Malcolm, and Gabby’s own family preferred a cheery little Italian place outside of town and away from tourists to celebrate birthdays and special occasions.
It was a beautiful day, clear and warm with a brilliant blue sky. Her date was already seated at a table on the outdoor patio, dressed in a blue-and-white-checked shirt and khaki pants. He was athletic and fit, looking more like an NFL linebacker than a Lutheran priest—which, of course, all the ladies of the congregation were more than happy to note.
He stood when she approached and greeted her with a hug. “Hi, Pastor,” Gabby said. “I mean Owen. Hi, Owen.” A somewhat maniacal laugh escaped her. Oh, this was going well already. “I’m so sorry.”
He flashed her a perfect smile and pulled out her chair before she sat. “Don’t be sorry.”
“I’m just a little nervous. I’ve never dated a man of the cloth before.” And I’m thinking of Cade. Of how he had the ability to calm her and stir her, both at once. How he’d been eager to critique her work in front of the class…and now that some time had passed, maybe she shouldn’t have taken it so personally.
“I’m just a man, like any other,” he said. He had angelic blue eyes, pure as the September sky above them. She wished she could say he melted her insides, but she didn’t have quite the expected reaction, probably because she was so nervous. Once she calmed down, attraction would just happen naturally, she was sure.
“So, Gabby,” Owen said, as the waiter brought them Cokes, “Rachel tells me you’re taking a writing class at the college. Have you always been a writer?”
“Sure, if you consider lots of stories about ponies and magical elves, and a cartful of angsty teenage journals. But I gave all that up when I went to college. I got so busy I sort of forgot about it.” A shame that she’d given up something that had mattered so much to her.
“So what brought you back to it?”
“My mother, actually.” Gabby’s heart squeezed, as it did whenever she thought of her. “She died when I was ten. But I found a box of her papers in my grandmother’s attic. She was writing a book—a love story. The only problem is, I can’t bring myself to read it.”
“I think I might understand. My father died when I was young, and he left behind a few file folders full of old photos and letters. It took me years to crack those open.”
“What did you find when you finally did?”
“Some war papers, and old photos of my mother and my brother and sister and me when we were babies. Nothing scandalous. But I guess I was hoping for something—I don’t know—that would hit me on a visceral level. The best thing was he kept a photo of each one of us tucked away in the pencil drawer of his desk where he could see us every time he opened it.”
“That’s sweet. I’m glad you understand the reluctance. My sisters don’t. Once I read Mom’s book through, it’s over. Then I won’t have anything left of her to discover.”
He nodded understandingly. “You’ll know when the time is right.”
Owen had a very comforting voice. Very pastor-like. She could imagine him talking to people undergoing trauma or grief. Counseling his flock. Yes, pastorhood was a good fit for him. He was definitely kind, warm, and friendly.
But sexy? Definitely not in a Cade-way. Her reaction to him had hit her immediately and hard, a sledgehammer hitting Wile E. Coyote smack on the head.
“Gabby?”
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Gabby came back to reality to find Owen looking at her expectantly.
“Tell me about your job?” he asked.
“Oh yes, my job. I’m an estate lawyer. I set up wills for people. And trusts.” Well, that almost sounded like she was intelligent.
Owen didn’t seem to find that interesting as he was staring intensely over her right shoulder.
“Owen?” she said to get his attention back on track.
“Oh, forgive me,” he said, shifting his gaze back to her. “It’s just that there’s a very determined little girl at that table who keeps waving in our direction. She’s cute as pie. And I think they might be the people who were with you in the coffee shop the other day.”
A little girl waving. Cute as pie? No.
Actually, yes. Gabby turned, only to find Ava one table behind them waving her arms and trying to stand up on her chair. Cade was frowning and gesturing for her to sit down immediately.
Gabby smiled and signaled back. A wave of yearning hit her unexpectedly, pure and strong. For what she couldn’t quite define but she’d probably describe it as a longing for—love, belonging, family.
“She’s a friend?” Owen asked.
“Yes. Her name is Ava.” What on earth were Cade and Ava doing here? Not that children weren’t welcome, but Fallside definitely wasn’t a top pick for a meal with a three-year-old. Her pulse skittered. Had he taken note the other day that she would be here on her date? “So, Owen, how are you liking Angel Falls?”
“I love the angel legend. In fact, my next sermon uses it and I—”
Suddenly someone was tapping at her arm. Ava, dressed in a gray shirt with blue sleeves and baggy black pants, was talking excitedly. “Gabby, Gabby,” she said. “Daddy told me not to interrupt you but I ran over anyways to say hi.” She threw her arms around Gabby, and of course Gabby hugged her back.
“Ava, this is Pastor Owen,” Gabby said.
“Hello there, Ava,” the pastor said, holding out his hand. “Great to meet you.”
Ava glanced at him but didn’t shake his hand, staying close to Gabby. “Daddy’s taking me to get a dress for my birthday.”
Gabby considered what an amazing dad Cade was for the ninetieth time. But she also felt a little trepidation at the thought of what exactly he would pick out for her to wear.
“What color are you going for?” Gabby asked.
“Pink.”
Of course. “Perfect.”
“And I want sparkly shoes like the kind you have.” Ava patted her arm in that casual, sweet way that only three-year-olds can.
“Sounds like you’re having a great day out. Lunch and shopping with your dad.”
“I didn’t want to have lunch. Daddy made me, but he promised we’d stop at the playground on the way home if I was good.”
Suddenly a shadow fell across the table. Gabby looked up to find Cade there, glowering a little as he put a big hand around his daughter’s tiny shoulders, a move that made her breath hitch and her throat suddenly go dry.
“Hey, pumpkin, let Gabby eat her lunch,” he said, giving a quiet nod to Pastor Owen. His gaze lingered on Gabby. More like scorched through her, body and soul.
“But I was going to ask her if she wanted to come with us,” Ava said in a whiny voice. She turned to Gabby, hope glistening in her eyes. “Come shopping with us. Can she, Daddy?”
Gabby’s pulse kicked up at Ava’s heartfelt invitation. She pictured herself rolling through racks at Target with Ava, picking out a cute, color-coordinated outfit.
Cade stood there looking stoic and unreadable, as usual. And he was frowning. And a tiny muscle in his temple was twitching. Clearly he was about as likely to issue an invitation to go shopping as he was to ask her out on a date.
“Sweetheart,” Gabby said before he could answer, “I have an important meeting with Pastor Owen, so I can’t join you and your dad today.” She glanced up at Cade. He was still being a brick, not even a crack in the façade.
Gabby watched the little girl’s face fall. She wanted to promise Ava a visit soon. Say she’d come over later to at least see her new outfit. She wanted to promise her the world. But she refrained.
Because there was no point in encouraging her friendship if she was going to disappoint her in the long run. And this little girl clearly had suffered enough disappointment in her life.
“Come on, Ava, let’s go finish our lunch,” Cade said, steering a reluctant Ava away and sending Gabby a curt nod. “Nice to see you again,” he said to Owen.
The waitress approached, and all Gabby could think of was that she needed a drink but didn’t think it was appropriate to order one. Maybe on the way home she’d stop and get a bottle of wine. And a gallon of chocolate fudge brownie ice cream to go with it.
“That little girl seems to really adore you,” Owen said.
“She’s really sweet. I—” “I” what? Gabby couldn’t exactly explain the whole situation. I have a huge crush on my teacher. And his daughter.
Gabby was still struggling for a conversation starter when Owen said, “Strange, but that little girl’s father keeps staring over here.”
She anxiously moved her arugula around her plate. She hated arugula. She wasn’t sure why she’d ordered it, and now she had a whole plate of it to make some headway on. It tasted like dandelion leaves. Not that she ever ate those, but she imagined they’d have the same bitter taste. “Oh, he’s just my creative writing teacher, that’s all. So, Owen, tell me about moving into the former pastor’s house. Does it need a lot of work done?”
“Well, yes, actually. I’m getting a new roof this week.”
“Um, excuse me.” Oh geez. Cade was back “Mind if we borrow your ketchup?”
“Oh, sure,” she said, passing it over, wondering what they were having that needed ketchup. French fries. Chicken nuggets, maybe? Cade didn’t seem to be the kind of man who’d mind if someone snuck some fries off his plate, and for some reason, that thought made her smile.
“Thanks, Gabby,” Cade said. Their gazes caught, and his hand closed momentarily over hers as he took the ketchup bottle.
Gabby opened her mouth to speak, but Cade wasn’t through. “Can I talk to you a second—in private?”
Cade pulled her off to the side, a spot not far from his table where he could still watch Ava, who was engrossed in coloring her paper place mat.
“I’m sorry I upset you because I used your writing in front of the class.”
Something inside her melted. Not just because of the apology but because he looked genuinely distressed himself. “I was wrong to take that so personally. I’m sorry I asked you to make an exception for me. I put you in an awkward position.”
“It’s okay. I knew you felt concerned and worried about the story. I should’ve realized you weren’t ready to have it put up in front of everyone.” He gripped her by the arms. “Gabby, I can’t stop thinking about you. I don’t even know why I asked for ketchup, because I can’t eat. Or sleep. I…miss you. And I want a chance to be with you as soon as I’m not your teacher anymore.”
Oh, wow oh, wow. Gabby froze, riveted in place by Cade’s words. Which were the most amazing words anyone had ever said to her.
“It’s okay if I’m too late. I just wanted a chance to tell you that in case…in case you might still want me.”
“Oh, Cade, of course I want you.” She was terrified by how easily the words had slipped out. How right they felt. How standing next to him was making her feel flushed and dizzy, breathless and giddy, and exactly, exactly right. She stepped back to regain her balance. Otherwise she would’ve wrapped herself around him and kissed him breathless. “I’m so glad you found me. But I really need to get back to my date.”
Cade ran his fingers through his hair. She loved that he looked rattled because of her—because he wanted her. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that sooner,” he said. And then, “Can I call you later?”
“Of course. Sure.” She was grinning. “Definitely!”
When Gabby got back to the table, she carefully placed her napkin back on her lap. She owed Pastor Owen honesty. “Look, Owen, I—”
Suddenly Owen laughed.
“What is it?”
“I know when I’m beat.”
“Cade’s my teacher, and he’s had too much integrity to pursue anything with me while I’m still his student.”
“Well, clearly he’s upset you’re on a date.”
“Yes, well, I’m actually really surprised about that.”
“I think he likes you. And I think you like him too.”
“It’s…complicated.”
He shrugged. “What isn’t?” He took her hand and squeezed it briefly. A pleasant, comforting squeeze—no fireworks. And she’d never been so relieved. “I’m sorry I missed my chance,” he said. “But it was great to meet you.”
“It was great to meet you too. And thanks for…for being a nice guy and helping me figure out some things.”
“Gabby, you didn’t need me to figure anything out for you.”
She smiled. “Thank you for understanding.”
“Hey, I’m never one to stand in the way of true love.”
Owen insisted on paying, and she gave him a hug goodbye and walked over to Cade’s table.
“My date’s over,” she said to Cade.
“Oh, and how’d it go?”
“It probably ranks among the most embarrassing first dates I’ve ever had.”
“Is there going to be a second one?”
“No.”
“Good.” He sent her a look—and oh, what a look—a blazing-hot I-want-you look that made her toes curl.
“Daddy,” Ava said, pulling up the place mat she’d been decorating, “can Gabby come with us now? Please?”
Cade smiled. “Gabby, would you come to Target with us to help Ava pick out an outfit for her birthday on Monday?”
Her throat suddenly felt lumpy. “Oh, well, I—I don’t want to interfere.”
“Ava would love it. I would love it.”
Oh, joy. She wanted to kiss him right there.
“I’d love it too,” she said, grinning. “Let’s go to Target.”
“But, Daddy, you promised the playground first because I was good. Wasn’t I good?”
“Yes, you were very good.” He turned to Gabby. “Want to walk to the playground? It’s on the way back to my house, and that’s where my truck is anyway.”
They walked the few blocks to the playground, Ava chattering all the way. Gabby walked side by side with Cade, but as soon as they got there, Ava ran off to climb the jungle gym, and Cade turned to face Gabby. “I’m really happy you’re spending the afternoon with us.”
“Me too.”
“So what’s with the pastor?”
“My stepmom set us up. I sort of had to go.”
“Oh, so now you tell me.”
“Well, to be honest, I was hoping I’d be swept away. He seems to be a lot less complicated than you are.”
“So were you? Swept away?” Cade asked casually, their gazes meeting again.
“No. I wasn’t.”
Cade let out a deep breath and rubbed his neck. “Well, that’s a relief.” He was still staring at her and seemed about to say more. She’d turned away to watch Ava when he took hold of her hand. She looked up at him, caught again by the intensity of his gaze. “Because I don’t want you to be swept away by anyone until I have an opportunity to sweep you away myself.”
“You—you want to sweep me away?”
“As soon as class is over.”
“Um—just exactly what would this—this sweeping away entail?”
He was very near, his voice a mere whisper. “Kissing. Lots of kissing.”
“I like kissing,” she said, nodding. “What else?”
“Kissing places like right here on your neck.” He pointed with his index finger to the base of her neck, “and whispering things in your ear.”
She couldn’t stop the shiver that traveled up her spine. “What kinds of things?”
“Like how much I’m looking forward to learning everything about you—your favorite color, your favorite kind of ice cream, your favorite TV shows and books. And all the funny stories from when you were little and all your favorite memories.”
“That’s—that’s beautiful, Cade,” Gabby said, swallowing hard.
“Oh, I’m not done,” he said, dropping his voice and leaning over to whisper in her ear. “Because I’ll also tell you how much I want to know every inch of your body. What makes you relax and what makes you whimper and what makes you cry out my name. That’s how much I want to know you.”
“Hmmm,” Gabby said, counting on her fingers. “Kissing, touching, talking…I think I’m going to like getting swept away—a lot.”