‘You surely can’t be so heartless as to turn me away on Christmas Day?’ Robert Fellows stood at Rosie’s front door, a great bunch of flowers in one hand, and under his arm a pile of boxes all wrapped in pretty festive paper. ‘Ask me in, and I promise you won’t be sorry,’ he pleaded in his most charming manner.
It was obvious he had made an extra effort on Rosie’s behalf. He looked attractive in a long dark overcoat and white scarf. His shoes were highly polished as usual, and his hair carefully smoothed down from a side parting, making him look older. Snow was just beginning to fall. It settled on his shoulders like a sprinkling of flour, and the breeze which had chilled the air all morning gathered momentum. He visibly shivered, asking through numbed lips, ‘Or would you rather I froze to death on your doorstep?’
‘Whatever are you doing here?’ she asked incredulously, her brown eyes widening with astonishment. ‘It’s Christmas Day, for goodness’ sake. Have you no home to go to?’ When the knock came on the door, Rosie was just taking the mince pies out of the oven. After that, she and Danny would be ready to take the presents along to Peggy’s house; there was a new scarf for Peggy’s mam, a pair of pearl-drop ear-rings for Peggy, and a selection of inexpensive games and trinkets for the younger ones.
Convinced the visitor must be Peggy, she was taken aback when she opened the door to Robert Fellows.
‘No home, no woman, and no one to share the festivities with,’ he replied. He looked like a lost soul, and Rosie couldn’t help but smile.
‘In that case, you’d better come in.’ Stepping aside, she waited for him to pass her, then shut the door on the weather and shuddered. ‘Brr! You’ve brought the cold in with you. Give me your coat. I don’t want snow all over my new front room carpet.’ It wasn’t entirely new; in fact it was showroom soiled, but she had got it for two-thirds of its value. Best quality, with a dark red background and big cream roses all over, it gave the room a cosy feeling. Next, Rosie wanted two new fireside chairs and perhaps a dining table… a round oak one, and four tall-backed chairs with pretty seat cushions. But money was still short and her savings didn’t mount up as fast as she would have liked, so a new table and chairs would have to wait. Meanwhile, she enjoyed window shopping in the big stores in Manchester and Blackburn. On top of that she comforted herself with the knowledge that she was keeping up with the rent and when it was cold outside, there was always a cheery fire in the grate, Danny had a new coat, and the larder was full to bursting. Life was ticking along without too much upset, and that was enough to be thankful for.
These days, since Martha and Doug were gone from it, the house had taken on a new lease of life. Thinking of her husband made her blood run cold. Two days ago she had received a letter from him. It was the letter of a madman.
‘You really don’t mind my calling round like this, then?’ Robert’s voice shook her out of her reverie.
‘You’re here now,’ she said absently, her thoughts lingering on Doug and the letter. As for Robert Fellows, she did resent his arriving unannounced, even if it was only because this was hers and Danny’s day. Coming up to Christmas, the store was busier than usual and everyone, including Rosie, had been called on to work extra hours. Though she loved the job and knew that Danny was content with Peggy’s mam, Rosie had been eager for Christmas Day when she and her son could make up for lost time. For that very reason, she had even turned down Peggy’s invitation for her and Danny to spend all Christmas Day at their house. Now, Robert Fellows’ arrival was an intrusion, and though Rosie hated herself for thinking of it in that way, she still didn’t know whether to be angry or pleased that he was here.
He seemed to know what she was thinking. ‘I wouldn’t have intruded like this, Rosie,’ he claimed. ‘Only, it is Christmas, and there I was, all alone in that miserable flat, and I couldn’t stop thinking of you.’
She didn’t answer straightaway. Instead, she shook the snowflakes from his coat and hung it on a peg, and placed the scarf over it. Now she was regarding him with friendly brown eyes that sent a thrill through him. ‘I suppose it must be lonely all on your own. And after all, it is Christmas… goodwill to men and all that.’ Even when he smiled, or perhaps only when he smiled, there was something about him that disturbed her. Yet, at the same time, she was grateful for the friendship that had developed between them these last few weeks. Certainly he had helped her get over the trauma of the trial, and how could she deny that his interest in her as a woman was very flattering?
He seemed peeved. ‘I hope it isn’t only because it’s Christmas that you’ve asked me in?’ he said softly. ‘I’d much rather it was because you want me with you?’
‘Look, Robert, I really am sorry to sound inhospitable.’ It was strange how these days his first name sprang easily to her lips. In the office it was always ‘Mr Fellows’, but outside working hours they had seen more and more of each other. So much, in fact, that Rosie believed it was time for her to keep her distance. ‘It was just that I didn’t expect you to turn up here today,’ she told him. ‘Still, now you’re here, you’re very welcome.’ A genuine smile appeared despite herself. ‘Go on through. I know Danny will be pleased to see you.’
Regarding her with flat hard eyes, he said softly, ‘Danny might be pleased to see me, but you’re not, are you, Rosie?’ It was more of a statement than a question.
‘If you must know, Robert, I’m thinking of the neighbours. I’m also thinking how I’ve been seeing a lot of you lately, and I think we’re getting too involved… taking Danny to the Saturday afternoon matinee… walking arm in arm through Corporation Park… eating hot chestnuts from the barrow in the boulevard. The three of us acting like a family, when we’re no such thing. It’s wrong, that’s all I’m saying. And it’s not fair on Danny.’
‘How can it be unfair on Danny?’ he demanded. ‘We take him everywhere we go, except for that one time when I finally managed to have you to myself. And don’t say you didn’t enjoy it, because I know you did… a day in London, dinner and dancing at the most expensive night club.’ His meaningful smile spoke volumes. ‘It was only spoiled when you refused to come back home with me.’
‘I’m not denying I enjoyed it,’ Rosie assured him. In fact, it was one of the most memorable events of her entire life. ‘It’s just that I can’t afford to make mistakes. Whether I like it or not, I do have a husband. I also have a son I dearly love, and people’s tongues can be wicked.’
‘What are you saying, Rosie?’ He reached out, the tips of his fingers stroking her face. Her skin felt soft as velvet beneath his touch. Her obvious reluctance to accept the growing affection between them only made him more determined to have her. ‘Have I offended you? Are you saying you don’t ever want to see me again?’
Rosie sighed. The last thing she wanted was to hurt him. In fact she had a very soft spot for Robert. ‘All I’m saying is this… if the circumstances were different, I’d be delighted to go on seeing you. I like you, you must know that.’ But she didn’t love him. She loved Adam and always would. ‘But we can’t forget I’m a married woman. Even more important, I have Danny to consider. Tongues are already wagging. It’s got out that we’re seeing each other, and now here you are, turning up at the door, laden with presents. You’ve been seen, you can rely on that. And your visit here will be common knowledge all over Blackburn before the week is out.’ Anger rose in her, and her brown eyes darkened. ‘I’m not blaming you, but that’s the way it is.’
‘Do you want me to go?’ Whatever her answer, he had no intention of leaving.
‘I didn’t say that.’ All the same, she would have felt better if he’d stayed away. Some neighbours would understand, and others would make a meal of it. Malicious gossip could lead to all kinds of trouble.
‘Say you’re pleased to see me then?’
‘All right. I’m pleased to see you.’ Oddly enough, she was regretting having been too honest just now. Robert had been good company. He’d taken her out when she was at a low ebb, and restored her faith in herself as a woman. It wouldn’t do any harm to make him feel welcome today. Besides, what woman wouldn’t enjoy a good-looking man wanting to spend some time with her? Just as long it stayed within certain limits.
She ushered him through to the living-room. ‘Of course I’m glad you’re here. What’s more, if you have nothing else to do, you’re welcome to stay all day.’ God! What was she saying? When would she learn not to let her tongue run away with her like that?
He stared about the room. It was warm and cosy, and the small Christmas tree for which Rosie had paid half-a-crown at the market stood bright and sparkling in the corner. He wrinkled his nose. ‘Something smells delicious.’
‘It’s a turkey I bought for me and Danny. I left it cooking all night on a low light, and at six o’clock it was done to a turn.’ The air was warmed by all manner of aromas; the newly baked mince pies, the simmering brandy pudding, and the bacon rolls lying crispy and hot atop the turkey. ‘I hate leaving everything ’til the last minute,’ Rosie explained. It had been hard work to get everything done, but it had been a labour of love.
‘You’re a real little homemaker,’ he declared, seeing the blazing fire in the grate.
Excited, Danny leaped up from the rug where he’d been sitting cross-legged with his new jigsaw. ‘It’s you!’ he cried, flinging himself into Robert’s arms. In a minute he was being swung into the air as Robert sat him on his shoulders, nearly knocking the ceiling light down in the process. ‘Your mam says I can stay all day if I like,’ he told the excited boy. ‘What do you think, Danny, shall I accept?’
‘Yes, yes!’ the boy cried, and the argument was won.
‘In a little while, Danny and I have to play Father Christmas to the Lewis family,’ Rosie explained, ‘so you’ll either have to amuse yourself here while we’re gone, or you can come with us. Which is it to be?’
‘I’ll come with you, of course.’ He thought it might be a good time to let the neighbours know he had staked a claim on Rosie.
Peggy was delighted when she saw Rosie at the door, but her smile fell away when she saw who was with her. ‘You know Robert Fellows?’ Rosie said as they all entered the hallway. Danny ran ahead, but Rosie stayed with Robert. She sensed Peggy’s hostility and felt the need to protect him.
‘Rosie kindly invited me to share Christmas Day with her,’ he said in his most endearing manner. ‘I hope you don’t mind my coming along?’
Peggy merely nodded, her face stiff. Turning her back on him, she led the way to the living-room. Behind her, Robert glanced at Rosie, and she returned a reassuring smile. Unbeknown to him, Rosie had already suffered a warning from Peggy where he was concerned. ‘He’ll bring you nothing but trouble, gal!’ she’d said. But Rosie paid little mind. Instead, because she suspected Peggy’s warning was not without a touch of envy, she explained how there was nothing serious between her and Robert. In fact, they were more good friends than lovers.
Peggy’s mam was up to her elbows in baking. ‘It’s like feeding a bloody army!’ she chuckled. ‘I’ve been at it since yesterday morning and there’s still the chicken to gut and stuff.’
‘Away with you, our mam,’ Peggy chided. ‘You know very well you love it.’ Turning to Rosie, she added, ‘Honest, she’s like a great kid at Christmas. I’ve told her I’ll do the chicken and veg, but do you think she’ll let me, eh?’
‘’Cause you’ve done your share, that’s why,’ her mam argued. ‘If it weren’t for your wages, happen we’d be having sparrer instead of a fat juicy chicken. So you look after your friends and leave me to do woman’s work.’ With that, she pushed the rolling pin over the pastry and began singing.
‘There’ll be no talking to her for hours yet,’ Peggy laughed. ‘What with her singing and that lot creating bedlam in the front room, I don’t know whether I’m on my head or my feet.’ It sounded like all hell was let loose in the front room. ‘They opened their presents at four o’clock this morning,’ Peggy groaned. ‘You should see it in there. Honest to God, Rosie, it’ll take a week to clean up the mess.’
She handed over her parcels. ‘The more the merrier,’ she said. ‘But you can always hide them ’til next year.’
‘What! That would be more than my life’s worth.’ Taking the presents, Peggy put them under the tree, all except her own. When she opened it and saw the pretty pearl-drop ear-rings there, she hugged Rosie hard. ‘They’re lovely,’ she said. In fact, they were the very ear-rings she had admired in Slater’s shop window when she and Rosie had taken a walk during one lunch break. ‘You never forget a thing, do you, you bugger!’ she said, eyes shining with affection.
Rosie’s presents were from the whole Lewis family; a bottle of perfume and a pair of sheer stockings. She was horrified at what they must have cost. ‘Oh, Peggy! How lovely. But I dread to think how much they were. I’d have been delighted with just one.’
‘I know that!’ Peggy exclaimed. ‘And what they cost don’t matter.’ She shook her head and grinned. ‘Anyway, it’s me own fault for having a friend with expensive tastes, ain’t it, eh?’ Suddenly her mood was serious. Gazing fondly at Rosie, she said softly, ‘You’re the best friend in the whole world, Rosie gal, and after all you’ve been through, I wanted to get you something really special.’
Rosie was speechless. Her brown eyes softened with tears as she looked on Peggy’s dear face. Choking back her emotion, she flung her arms rond her friend and hugged her hard. ‘I love you, you bugger,’ she whispered. When Peggy suggested they should get a drink from her mam’s secret hoard of gin, tears turned to laughter.
Robert gave a slight embarrassed cough, and Rosie was mortally ashamed. ‘We’re neglecting our guest,’ she told Peggy.
‘He ain’t my guest,’ Peggy said stiffly. But when Rosie gave her a pleading glance, she relented. In a warm voice which hid her true feelings, she told him, ‘But you’re welcome to a drop o’ the old stuff, if you don’t mind drinking out of a cup. You see, we don’t drink in this house as a rule, and we only ever had two glasses. Our kid broke them when he was searching for his presents, so I’m afraid it’s cups for now.’
Sensing her hostility, he decided that if he wasn’t going to alienate Rosie, he had better play along. ‘Thank you, a cup will be just fine.’ His smile was devastating.
When the bottle of gin appeared, so did Peggy’s mam. ‘You little sod, our Peggy!’ she exploded. ‘I thought I’d hid that good and proper.’
‘Do you want a drop or not?’ Peggy asked her, slyly winking at Rosie.
Before you could say Jack Robinson she’d scurried into the kitchen and fetched out a mug. ‘And don’t be mingy with the measure!’ she warned, holding it out. When Peggy was too cautious with her pouring, her mam tipped the bottle in her own favour. ‘That should warm the cockles of me old heart,’ she chuckled, returning to the kitchen with her good measure of gin. In no time at all she was singing louder than ever. ‘Canny as a barrow-load o’ monkeys, is our mam,’ Peggy said. And Rosie was glad to have them for her friends.
Half an hour later, Pegy showed her visitors out. ‘Don’t forget we’re going to the sales in the morning, kid,’ she reminded Rosie. ‘There are only one or two shops open on Boxing Day, so we’d best be away by eight if we’re going to snap up the goodies.’ Then she shot a last speculative glance at Robert and closed the door.
‘I don’t think she cares much for me,’ he said as they walked back to Rosie’s little house. What Peggy Lewis thought didn’t worry him the slightest, but he didn’t want that silly little cow setting Rosie against him.
‘It isn’t you personally,’ Rosie explained. ‘It’s what I was saying before. The neighbours have started to gossip, and Peggy’s worried it might backfire on me and Danny.’
‘I can see she’s a good friend.’ There was a bad taste in his mouth when he uttered these words. All the same, he knew them to be true.
‘The best.’
‘I care for you too, Rosie, and I wouldn’t do anything to harm you or Danny. You must know that?’
Rosie didn’t want to be drawn deep into conversation just now. So she was immensely grateful when Danny commandeered Robert to ‘Play with my new jigsaw’, leaving her to bustle about preparing the lunch.
Everywhere she moved his eyes followed, unsettling her, making her wish she hadn’t opened the door to him. Yet, for all that, she found a certain comfort in the idea that, on this special day, Danny had a father figure in the house. The two of them made a heartwarming sight, sitting on the rug together, finishing the jigsaw, with Robert looking like any loving father with his son.
In one quiet moment Rosie paused by the kitchen door, observing them together. The jigsaw depicted a giant and a boy, and Robert was telling Danny the story of David and Goliath. She wondered whether she had been too hard on Robert. She couldn’t know that even at that moment he was play-acting, aware that she was watching, and hoping to get to her through her son.
‘Up to the table, you two.’ Lunch was ready. Decorated with parsley and wearing white frills, the turkey was laid on a large flowered plate in the centre of the table. Round the rim of the plate the bacon rolls made a colourful contrast. There were numerous deep dishes, one with crispy baked potatoes, another containing small round Brussels sprouts, and a third filled to the brim with fluffy mashed potatoes. Alongside stood a small shallower dish holding six tiny Yorkshire puddings, and nearby a pretty floral-patterned jug filled with rich brown gravy. The delicious aroma permeated the air. ‘I’m starving!’ Danny exclaimed. Robert said it was no wonder when they were faced with such a wonderful spread. And Rosie took all the compliments like any woman would, with a knowing smile and a large pinch of salt.
During the meal, she relaxed her rule of no talking at the table, and the excitement of Christmas spilled over. Danny laughed and giggled, he chatted and threw his arms in the air when relating to Rosie the tale Robert had told him of David and Goliath. Robert was his usual good company. When, after picking at his food as he always did, Danny declared he didn’t want any more, Robert persuaded him he should eat up all his greens and grow as big as the giant. Danny’s eyes grew wide at the thought, and Rosie couldn’t help but laugh.
When the meal was over and the table cleared, she realised that she had thoroughly enjoyed herself. In fact, she felt more relaxed than she had for a very long time. ‘You don’t have to do this,’ she told Robert when he picked up a tea-towel and began drying dishes.
‘And you didn’t have to invite me in,’ he said fondly.
As the day wore on, Rosie came to believe that she had done the right thing. Certainly Danny loved Robert, and he appeared to feel the same affection for the boy. She was torn two ways. When the time came to shut Robert out of their lives completely, it was bound to be a real jolt for Danny. Conversely, how could she deny him the relationship that was already growing between these two?
The afternoon went quickly, and soon it was evening. Everyone was still too full up to want any tea, so while Danny insisted that Robert should finish the jigsaw with him, Rosie listened to a Sherlock Holmes mystery on the radio. Now and then she glanced at the two on the rug, and a warm feeling came over her. A little wry smile covered her face as she wondered whether it was the gin she’d downed at Peggy’s house.
‘I’m tired, Mammy.’ At half-past nine, Danny rubbed his bleary eyes and fell into her lap.
‘I should think so!’ Rosie declared. ‘It’s way past your bedtime, young man.’ Taking him into the kitchen, she undressed him and washed him all over. Normally she would have had a fire burning in the tiny grate, but what with all the baking and the oven remaining hot for some time yet, it wasn’t needed.
‘Can I help?’ Robert got up from his chair when he saw Rosie carrying the sleeping child.
‘He just keeled over,’ she replied, her smile soft and loving as she gazed on the boy. ‘But he does weigh a ton, so yes, I’d be grateful if you could carry him up for me.’ Carefully, she delivered her son into his arms, and the three of them went out of the room and on up the stairs.
As she led the way, Rosie wished it had been like this with Doug. Even more so, she wished she had not lost Adam. Suddenly she brought herself up sharp. Who was she fooling? She had lost Adam. And even by the longest stretch of imagination it had never been like this with Doug.
To her surprise, she found herself wondering whether it would be so bad if she was to continue seeing Robert. Defiance grew in her. After all, she had no intention of ever living with Doug again. And if the neighbours gossiped, so what? It wasn’t them who had to live her life. It was her. She was responsible for her own actions, and she was responsible for Danny. She had asked nothing from nobody, and while she had a strong back and two strong hands, she never would.
But when she looked at Danny, lying there in his bed, all her doubts came back. It did matter what the neighbours said, because gossip had a way of reaching the school playground and there was no one more wicked than children if they had a mind to bully. With Danny starting school after the holidays, she didn’t want anything to go wrong. Then again it was common knowledge how his grandma had been stabbed to death, and that his daddy was in prison for it. So he already had his cross to bear.
‘Penny for them.’ Robert had laid the child in his bed before turning to see Rosie deep in thought.
She gave no answer, merely smiled, took him by the hand and led him out of the room. Once outside she closed the door and whispered, ‘Thank you.’
He was pleasantly surprised. ‘For what?’
‘For making this Christmas Day so special for Danny.’
‘And have I made it special for you?’ His voice was soft, sensuously persuasive.
She thought a moment and then answered truthfully, ‘Yes, I think so.’ He was looking at her in that certain way again, and it made her tremble inside. In the half-light, his eyes seemed darker. The very nearness of him was intoxicating.
‘I love you, Rosie.’ Reaching out he put his hands around her face and kissed her on the mouth.
‘No!’ Her voice was strong, but inside she was weakening. It was so long since she had been with a man in that way, and like any woman she was hungry for love. The feel of his mouth over hers had awakened something in her, something she couldn’t deny any longer. More than that it brought back tender memories of Adam, and with the memories came a kind of rage. The rage became passion, and passion blinded her to reason.
‘Don’t push me away, Rosie.’ He kissed her again, and this time she responded. Encouraged, he murmured sweet endearments, tickling the inside of her ear with the tip of his tongue to set her pulses racing.
The need in her was as great as his own. ‘Not here,’ she said, glancing worriedly at Danny’s door. Curling her fingers into his, she led him down the landing to her own bedroom. The room had been hers and Doug’s. Now it was newly decorated, with a brand new bed and two pretty rugs that were soft underfoot. It was as though Doug had never been there. But none of that mattered now. He was out of her life and she was her own mistress.
Inside the room, she half drew the curtains, some deep instinct in her making her ashamed. Slowly, she undressed. He watched her; first the straight blue skirt that showed off the shapeliness of her ankles, then the cream blouse with its deep revers and pearly buttons. Then her full-length slip with the lacy hem. Now the see-through brassiere and flimsy knickers.
While she took them off one by one, he watched lasciviously, apreciating the slim and lovely form that was being temptingly revealed to him. At last she stood there in all her naked glory, and he gasped aloud. He had never seen such beauty. He knew he never would again.
Quickly now, all reserve gone, he threw off his clothes and took her in his arms. The small taut breasts touched the hardness of his chest, making his skin stand up in goose-pimples. ‘You’re magnificent,’ he breathed. She didn’t answer. She wanted him, and was not ashamed. He swept her into his arms and carried her to the bed. There he laid her down. All tenderness was gone now. Like a wild animal he cried aloud, gathering her to him and driving deep inside her. Hard and penetrating, he took her to himself in a frenzy, frantic she would escape him. And she returned his passion with the same ferocity.
Afterwards they lay, side by side, bathed in sweat and clinging to each other. ‘I knew you would be wonderful,’ he murmured. In bed, in the throes of lovemaking, she’d been as wild as he.
Rosie climbed out of bed. She dressed with haste, a sense of guilt overwhelming. Before he could realise her intention, she went from the room and made her way downstairs. The guilt went with her, the awful shame of what she had done.
He followed. When he came into the living-room, she was sitting in the fireside chair, her shoulders hunched forward and her troubled brown eyes staring into the dying embers of the fire. ‘I want you to go now,’ she said. Her voice was firm. It startled him.
Sensing her mood, he thought it best not to provoke her. Some women were like the spider, so filled with malevolence after mating that they devoured their mate. ‘If that’s what you want, Rosie.’ She didn’t answer. He felt uncomfortable. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it was gone ten. ‘It might be just as well,’ he conceded. ‘But I will see you tomorrow, won’t I?’
‘Maybe.’ It wasn’t him she hated. It was herself.
He came to her then. ‘Rosie, we made love just now. Doesn’t that mean anything to you?’ He actually believed it had given him a claim on her for all time.
The desperation in his voice made her look up. ‘Of course it did,’ she told him kindly. ‘But it’s been a long tiring day, and it’s getting late.’
‘But we will see each other again?’
‘Why not?’ She wasn’t certain, but she could think about that later.
‘Tomorrow?’
‘No.’
‘When then?’
‘After I’m back at work.’ She needed to spend the rest of the holiday with Danny. Just the two of them. Somehow, she felt as though she’d betrayed him.
‘Whatever you say, Rosie. Just as long as I haven’t done anything to turn you against me.’ As far as he was concerned, the fun was only just beginning and if it was to be ended, it would be him and not her who did the ending.
‘No. You’ve done nothing,’ she promised him. Standing up, she kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘I’ll see you out.’
They didn’t exchange words at the door. He whispered goodnight, and she nodded. Then she closed the door and shot the bolt. A few moments later, she had a strip-wash after which she kissed Danny goodnight and went to her room, where she sat before the mirror brushing her thick brown tresses. ‘You’ve done it now, Rosie gal,’ she told herself in the mirror. ‘The bugger won’t leave you alone now.’ She smiled, her mouth wide and beautiful in the mirror. ‘Maybe that won’t be so bad,’ she murmured. ‘Happen when you’ve got Doug out of your life forever, there’ll be a better future with Robert Fellows. Danny won’t mind, that’s for sure.’ Before she could stop herself she was saying what was on her mind. ‘And what about Adam? What would he think of your behaviour tonight?’ Instantly her mood changed, and the pain was unbearable.
When she climbed into bed, she was still thinking of Adam. And when she slept, she dreamed of him.
‘ROSIE!’ Peggy’s voice sailed up from the street. ‘You lazy little sod, get up and let me in.’
Half-asleep, Rosie hoisted herself up on to her elbows. It was a minute before she realised it was daylight. One glance at the bedside clock told her it was already eight o’clock. ‘Gawd! Half the day’s gone!’ With one bound she was out of bed. As she reached the window, a stone clattered against it and Peggy’s voice yelled, ‘ARE YOU BLOODY DEAD IN THERE?’
Raising the sash window, Rosie leaned out. ‘It wouldn’t matter if we were, gal,’ she shouted back. ‘Because you’re enough to wake the dead. And stop throwing stones! If you break this window, it’ll cost you.’
Peggy laughed. ‘Oh? And who’s got up in a crotchety mood this morning, eh?’ Kicking the door with the tip of her shoe, she moaned, ‘Get a move on, gal. It’s bloody freezing out here.’ The milkman hurried by, his arms laden with bottles.
‘I’ll warm you up if you like,’ he promised.
‘Huh!’ she retorted. ‘It’ll take more of a man than you, Ben Slater. Anyway, you’ve been handling them bottles and your hands must be like ice, so you can bugger off.’ He went on his way chuckling to himself.
Rosie inched open the door. ‘Get in here, you,’ she ordered. ‘Before the whole street’s up.’ As Peggy rushed in, the cold came with her and Rosie’s teeth started chattering.
‘The whole street is up, gal.’ Marching into the living-room, Peggy went straight to the window and threw back the curtains. The daylight flooded in. ‘It’s a bloody good job we managed to get this holiday off, ’cause I don’t reckon you’d have made it to work today anyroad.’ She regarded Rosie with suspicious eyes. ‘It ain’t like you to oversleep, gal,’ she teased. Ain’t you well?’
‘I’m fine.’ Rosie went into the kitchen and filled the kettle. While she was lighting the gas ring, Peggy came in. She didn’t say anything, but stood there, her eyes following Rosie’s every move.
Rosie put the kettle on the ring and scooped up a bundle of kindling wood from the pile in the corner. Taking it into the living-room, she proceeded to light the fire. She knew Peggy was waiting for an explanation, and was unsure how to start. Little by little the events of last night were coming to mind, and were very disturbing to her.
‘You slept with him, didn’t you, gal?’ Peggy knew Rosie like the back of her hand. ‘You did, didn’t you?’ Coming into the living-room, she sat in the fireside chair. Rosie was still on her knees, blowing into the grate, trying to fan the flames through the kindling wood.
When it got hold, she leaned back on her haunches and looked up at her friend. ‘Can’t hide anything from you, can I?’
Peggy stared at her. ‘You bloody little fool!’
Rosie shrugged her shoulders. ‘Happen I am.’ Clambering up, she rubbed her knees. ‘I’ll just go up and see if Danny’s all right.’ With that, she hurried from the room, leaving Peggy exasperated.
When Rosie returned, her friend was just pouring the tea. ‘Is he awake?’ she asked. She was quieter now, more understanding.
Rosie shook her head. ‘He’s still fast and hard asleep.’ Now that she had her dressing-gown on, she was more comfortable, but still shivered when her bottom touched the cold wood of the dining chair. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said when Peggy sat down beside her. ‘I know I promised I’d be ready by eight, but we can still make the ten o’clock tram if you like.’
‘Don’t fret, gal,’ Peggy answered. She slurped her tea and stared at the tablecloth. ‘Last night… do you want to talk about it?’
Rosie peeped at her from the corner of her eyes. She did want to talk, yet she didn’t. In the end she decided to stall. ‘I had a letter from Doug the other day.’
‘Oh?’
‘I think he’s gone off his head.’
‘If you ask me, he was always off his head.’ Her mind was still on Robert Fellows, and she was just the tiniest bit jealous.
Rosie got the letter from the drawer. ‘I’m afraid for Danny,’ she whispered, handing it to her. ‘Read it, and you’ll see what I mean.’
Sensing the fear in Rosie, Peggy unfolded the letter and read:
My darling wife,
I expect you’re wondering why I haven’t written to you, especially when you’ve so often taken the trouble to write to me?
I’ve been thinking of you a lot lately, and it’s time, my love. Time to lay down some rules and regulations. You see,
I have to abide by them, and it’s only right that you should do the same.
How is the boy? Are you looking after him? I want you to keep him well for me. I wouldn’t like it if you let him forget me. It was a shock to discover that he wasn’t mine, but soon as ever I get out of here, I plan to deal with that little matter.
I’ll be home sooner than you think, my love. Meantime, don’t do anything that might anger me. I think you know by now that I’m not a very forgiving man.
I’m being made to pay the price for what I did. I think you should be punished too, you and the boy.
I know you must be lonely for me, but it won’t be too long now.
Your loving husband,
Doug
Peggy dropped the letter on to her knee. ‘I see what you mean,’ she said, looking up at Rosie with shocked eyes. ‘It ain’t what he says… it’s what he don’t say that’s so frightening.’
‘Do you get the feeling that he means to hurt Danny?’ Rosie spoke in a whisper in case the boy should come creeping down the stairs.
Instead of answering, Peggy put her own question. ‘I didn’t know you’d written to him several times?’
‘I haven’t,’ Rosie confessed. ‘I wrote to him just the once, soon after he was locked away. He never answered, so I didn’t write again.’
‘After he threatened you in court like that, you shouldn’t have written at all.’
‘I thought I should. He was under stress that day, and though I know it’s over between us, I couldn’t altogether abandon him.’ Rosie was frantic. ‘This letter… tell me what you really think?’ Taking the letter from Peggy, she absent-mindedly folded it, over and over, until it was small enough to hide in the palm of her hand. The very sight of it sent shivers down her spine.
‘You’re not to worry about it,’ Peggy entreated. ‘It’s plain he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I mean, fancy thinking Danny ain’t his!’ She shook her head in disbelief.
‘It was Martha who put the idea into his head, and where his mother was concerned, Doug could never think for himself.’ Every word she spoke brought back the horror of that night. ‘He means to hurt Danny, I just know it.’
Peggy forced a smile. ‘Give over, gal. How can he hurt anybody when he’s locked away in jail?’
Now for the suspicion that had haunted Rosie since she’d received the letter. ‘I’m sure he plans to escape.’
Peggy was adamant. ‘Never!’ She came to Rosie and put her arm round her. ‘You’re letting him get to you, kid, and that’s exactly what he wants. Doug is a bad lot but he’s a coward. Mark my words, gal, while he’s in there, he’ll toe the line. He’ll do his time, and when he comes out, you and Danny need have no fear of him.’
‘I wish I could believe that.’ Rosie had tried hard to put the letter out of her mind, but it was always there, festering away in her mind. Suddenly she leaped up and threw it into the flames. It curled in the heat and then was gone, eaten up, like Doug was eaten up with jealousy and madness.
‘That’s the best place for it,’ Peggy told her. She had returned to her chair and now was looking up at Rosie. ‘Get on with your life, gal,’ she said. ‘Doug had his chance. Now it’s yours.’
‘What if I took up with Robert Fellows?’
‘I reckon you’d be jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.’
‘Why?’
‘Because, in a different way, he’s as bad as Doug.’ She was on her feet now, showing her anger. ‘Robert Fellows has played around with everybody. He’ll use you just like he used them. Once he’s got what he wants, he’ll be gone, looking round for another plaything.’
The only young woman he hadn’t played around with, was Peggy herself. She bitterly resented that.
‘He doesn’t seem that kind of man to me.’
‘Well, you can take my word for it. You’d do well to steer clear.’ She didn’t wait for Rosie’s response. Instead she asked quietly, ‘What happened here last night?’
‘We had a wonderful day, the three of us. Last night after Danny was asleep in bed, we just… sort of fell into each other’s arms.’ The memory brought mingled pleasure and regret. She recalled the wild and wanton way she had behaved last night. That wasn’t love. It was a raging desire for sex, and now she questioned herself as to why it had happened. It seemed like another person had been in his arms, not her. Just thinking about it sent a pink flush over her face.
‘I’ve got to be going.’ Peggy suddenly made for the door. ‘I expect I’ll see you later, gal.’
Rosie ran down the passage after her. ‘Wait a minute, Peggy, I thought you wanted to go into town?’
‘Changed me mind.’ The door slammed and woke Danny up. After that, Rosie had little time to think about Peggy’s abrupt departure.
An hour later, when breakfast was over and the two of them were getting ready for the ten o’clock tram, Rosie was fastening Danny’s coat up. She couldn’t think why Peggy had behaved in such a strange manner. It was when she began going over what they’d discussed that it suddenly dawned on her. When she’d first started at Woolworths, Peggy had mentioned that she liked Robert Fellows. But Rosie had taken that to be a bit of fun, something and nothing that she’d taken little notice of. ‘Gawd! I must be blind,’ she chided herself. ‘Hurry up, sweetheart,’ she told Danny, who had run back into the living-room for his lead soldier. ‘I want to call on Auntie Peggy.’ If she didn’t put things right now, she would never forgive herself.
As Rosie closed her front door, Peggy came out into the street. For one uncomfortable minute the two of them stared at each other. Then Peggy laughed. And Danny laughed. And Rosie shook her head, a smile on her face and a lilt to her heart as Peggy came towards her. ‘What must you think of me?’ she asked.
‘I’ve already told you,’ Peggy replied, ‘I reckon you’re a bloody fool.’
Rosie laughed then. ‘So do I. What’s more, I’m not even sure he’s worth it.’
‘But you can have a bloody good time finding out, eh?’
‘Friends then?’
‘What else?’
‘A long walk into town if we don’t catch that tram.’ With that, they went at a smart pace along the street and down towards the tram stop. Danny skipped all the way, and Rosie felt that everything would come right, as long as Peggy was beside her.