The energy level was sky-high for the members of the Chess Club the next day. This lunch period was going to put them on the Pecan Falls High School activities map. In fact, their little club was going to rule the place after their performance was over. Total social domination. The road before them was paved with stars. Quotes had no trouble keep his mouth shut, but it was all the others could do to hold their tongues until it was over.
Tuesday was chicken strips day at PFHS and most of the sophomores were in the lunchroom. Only a handful ate their lunch outside. Some of the juniors and seniors had off-campus privileges for lunch, but there were plenty of them represented in the room - - that was certain. Chloe, the high profile outcast, was eating her lunch by herself with her back turned toward everyone; no one would be messing with her. Wesley was eating with Lauren. Mike and Curtis sat together and were waiting for Billy. Mr. Harris did not have lunch duty that day, but he was there in full support of the club and he clued the other duty teachers and Mrs. Dunbar as to what the Chess Club had planned – so everything was cool. It was now zero hour.
Billy, with an enthusiastic Chris in tow, set up a CD player in the back of the room and put in an old CD of something called Semper Fidelis by a hilarious-dressed fellow named John Philip Sousa, the March King himself. The sound was cranked way up. As soon as the music began, Maggie turned off the lights in the lunchroom. At the sudden blindness, a few of the students screamed at this unexpected turn of events. Other students laughed at the ones who screamed. Joey turned on some bright blue lights that they had managed to borrow from the theater department. These lights were strategically placed near the entrances of the room. Berly and Maggie opened the doors. Fake smoke (also on loan from the theater department) poured into the room. Everything was trotting along as planned. Students all over the dark room turned curiously to see what was going on.
A shadowy Eugene walked through the smoke. He was dressed in a formfitting body suit with a cone-shaped, cardboard vest and a sort of strange helmet that was supposed to resemble the top of a rook. All eyes were focused on this chess-inspired demon. He did an awkward dance for a few measures of the song. The choreography itself was in horrible contrast with the military march that was playing. Some people were amused because it was desperately awful. They did not realize that this was merely the beginning of the sad presentation.
A second pair of doors now sprang open with more fake smoke and red lights rather than blue. The students threw their attention now to Alejandro, who entered dressed the same way except he had a head that looked like a horse – obviously portraying the knight. The fake knight was supposed to rush out beyond the smoke and to begin his unique dance; but instead of doing a dance the way they rehearsed it, he simply walked forward with his arms outstretched, urgently looking for something to hold onto. “I cannot see a thing,” he mumbled with a voice that came from a bucket. Lunging forward, he came right at a couple of students and knocked over the napkin dispenser onto the tile floor quite by accident. One of the students screamed and just about fell to the floor as well.
Few noticed, because by then a bright yellow light illuminated the final set of doors. They opened revealing more smoke and Quotes dressed as a chess king. Again, all three were wearing unflattering formfitting suits, cardboard vests, and homemade masks. Fortunately, Quotes’ mask allowed his face to be seen, leaving the students with a disturbing mental image. He already had the unfortunate habit of terrifying students with his appearance.
With much ‘dancing,’ the three actually met up and did a terribly choreographed fight scene. It may have been fairly well rehearsed considering the talent involved; but perhaps the gift of dance was not necessarily given to these three well-meaning lads. Their talents were more suited for the game of chess rather than theatrics.
Many of the students were laughing at the painful spectacle. Others were screaming any time the participants got anywhere close to their proximity. Whether their exhibition was to eventually promote the dignity of the Chess Club or provide the student body with comic fuel was now up for debate.
About halfway through the song, a drum solo boomed through the speakers. Tuh-da-da-da-da. At this sound, all three pretended to be playing invisible drums and gathered to stand in formation. They played these phantom drums with all their heart. Then the other two stood perfectly still as the “rook” Eugene stepped forward and pretended to play a lone trumpet. When this ‘solo’ came to an end, Alejandro the Knight joined him playing some kind of air-clarinet (although the students clearly heard a gaggle of flutes joining the trumpet and the curious absence of any clarinet). A few measures later, here came the trombones. Quotes played a mock trombone with much more gusto than his two companions had displayed. The whole thing was an unlikely pairing of inspiration and horror. But even though Alejandro was unable to see much, they all looked like they were having fun doing it. And that is what made it fun to watch. It was fun. What else mattered?
For the remainder of the song, the three were supposed to march around the lunchroom, up one aisle and back down another. But this was when things went awry. One of the juniors deliberately stuck out his foot in front of Quotes. The giant king went crashing to the floor. Humiliated, he stood back up, faced the guy who tripped him, and picked up his lunch tray. In a tremendous display of physical strength, he snapped the lunch tray in two. Green beans were everywhere. At the sight of this, the guy who tripped him was experiencing genuine dread. What sort of unholy strength was that?
Quite unexpectedly, a weird sort of roar came from deep within Quotes’ chest cavity and escaped through his mouth. It seemed to be a voice so unnatural (almost profane) that it caused fear into the hearts of all who heard it. He bellowed, “YOU MESSED UP MY DANCE!” It appeared to be language. … from Quotes?!
Alejandro quaked from fright. “¡Que milagro!”
Eugene swallowed his gum and turned to Alejandro. “Well, whadduyah know?! IT TALKS!”
This was the first time either of them had ever heard Quotes speak and the sound made their blood run cold. It startled Eugene so bad that he fell over backward for a moment. As he went down, he heard something rip behind him. “Oh no. That can’t be good.” He did not know what to fear more: the sound of Quotes’ voice or the uncertainty of his wardrobe malfunction.
At the conclusion of the number, Berly and Joey rushed over some homemade signs for the performers to show. Eugene held up a big sign that said PFHS CHESS CLUB. This was followed by Alejandro holding up his sign. It read MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, AND FRIDAY AT 3:30-4:15. And finally Quotes held up his sign (which was sideways at first, but he soon corrected it), MR. HARRIS’ ROOM.
They finished their embarrassing routine and exited the room at the end of the song. Berly and Joey closed the doors behind them and Maggie turned on the regular overhead lights. All of the students in attendance stared blankly at the doors. Everyone was silent – the proverbial cricket sounds. After a few seconds, the students turned their attention back to their previous conversations. There was no clapping. They reacted as if nothing at all happened. Well, a handful of them were a little traumatized by the experience and were being comforted by some other students. At times like this, it was perhaps a good thing that a school had counselors.
Billy turned off the music, grabbed the CD player, and set it in front of his dad who took it and left for his classroom. Then Maggie, Berly, Joey, Chris, and Billy ran out into the hall to help out the others.
Eugene was growing more conscience of the ripping sound that his tights had made. He speedily got the attention of Joey and Alejandro. “I think I just ripped something back there. How bad is it?”
The other two guys checked it out and quickly stood back up, looking back and forth at each other, hesitant to say anything.
Eugene was growing impatient. “Well?”
Joey put a hand on Eugene’s shoulder and said in a mirthful voice, “Well Eugene, I guess this means that we’re family now.”
Eugene’s eyes grew wide with fear. “Is it that bad?”
Alejandro was not as amused. He slapped Eugene on the arm. “Dude! What is wrong with you? Why weren’t you wearing any underwear?”
“Because these tights were too tight and I couldn’t get them on otherwise.” Embarrassed, Eugene retreated to the restroom where his clothes were.
Excited with news, Berly ran up to the others. “Hey everyone! Check it out. Rodney is here and he caught the entire thing. He thought it was awesome.” Surrounding students cheered.
Billy rolled his eyes and sounded beaten. Yes, the entire thing was Billy’s idea – but he was a bit disenchanted by the lack of applause following their exhibition. He had hoped that people would be inspired to join the club after the show, but now he was prepared to lament over its poor reception.
This was different. He had changed recently. After enjoying the sudden popularity for a day, he was already feeling less passionate about assisting the Chess Club – and even reevaluating his presence there. “Y’all are terrible. Rodney? I am almost embarrassed to be associating with people who believe in the Phantom of the Chess Club. But even if this Rodney supposedly thought it was awesome, he must be much nerdier than originally thought possible. Sad.”
“Well, he is on his way back here now.” Berly brushed the hair away from her face and turned around to look. “That is, I thought he was.”
Joey smiled and gave Billy a light nudge with his elbow. “Hey, Billy. You’ve always wanted to meet Rodney. Here’s your chance. Opportunity knocks.”
“You all must think that I’m an idiot. If this Rodney were even a real person, then he would be hands-down the King of the Nerds, one of those incredibly smart guys who gets his left and right shoes mixed up. No thank you. Right now, there isn’t exactly a shortage of weird people in my life. Why would I want to make room for one more?” He stomped off in search of his other friends.
“Suit yourself,” Joey hollered back just as Rodney was coming around the corner behind them.
Rodney was a slightly-taller-than-average senior. Well dressed, handsome, friendly, he looked like he could have a promising future as a weather man. The girls considered him ‘gorgeous.’ He greeted them all with a warm and congenial accent. “Hey, guys!”
The others gathered around him with a familiar series of high-fives and fist bumps.
Rodney was full of enthusiastic praise. “That was terrific! Alejandro and Quotes, you two dudes and Eugene totally killed it out there. Great job! These costumes are the best. And I especially loved the lights and the smoke. That was really cool. It was the best thing to happen to our lunchroom since Mrs. Knox brought out the strawberry shortcake two years ago.”
Alejandro folded his arms in a sulky manner. “My idea would’ve been better.”
Rodney looked around the group as if he were looking for someone. “So whose idea was this anyway?”
Maggie shrugged her shoulders and smiled up at Rodney. “It was mostly Billy’s.”
“Right. You mean the new kid, Mr. Harris’ son. Where is he anyway? I’d like to meet him.”
Berly answered, “Pffff! Gone. He has some old friends that he was going to catch up with.”
“Yeah. You just missed him,” Maggie added. “He’s a real piece of work, that Billy.”
Rodney was abruptly inquisitive. “What does that mean? So, what is this kid like anyway?”
Joey stepped forward. “Well, I don’t want to sound judgmental or anything, but he is pretty much the biggest nerd I’ve ever seen. I’m surprised that he is in the Chess Club honestly.”
The others sounded off in agreement.
Eugene came out of the restroom and joined the others in his usual street clothes. Fishing for a big-fat compliment, he lifted his hand and got Rodney’s attention. “Yo, Rodney! Check it out! You caught the show? So did you see me out there?”
Rodney looked over at Eugene and his smile fell. “Oh yes. I certainly did. And I hope to never see that side of you again.”