Today’s RELATIONSHIPS Give Me Fulfillment
When Armand Hammer, the chairman of Occidental Petroleum, died in December of 1990, he was a legend. In his ninety-two years of life, he had done things people only dreamed about. He had become a successful international businessman, a person of influence with presidents and statesmen, and a generous philanthropist and patron of the arts. USA Today called him “a giant of capitalism and confidant of world leaders” and “flamboyant crusader for world peace and a cancer cure.”1 An article in the Los Angeles Times stated,
The billionaire industrialist had cut a flamboyant swath throughout his colorful and varied career. A public figure comfortable with royalty, heads of state, the rich and famous, he stirred up controversy among not only ardent admirers of his keen intelligence and bold strategies but also scathing critics who questioned his ethics and powerful ego. A man of immense wealth, he endowed schools, museums and cancer research centers with gifts totaling tens of millions of dollars.2
Most reports cited his many accomplishments: making his first million by age twenty-one, providing humanitarian aid and famine relief to Soviet Russia in 1921, improving U.S.-Soviet relations, and receiving numerous prestigious awards granted by over a dozen countries. The biographies written about Hammer before his death in 1990 describe him in glowing terms. The story was that he saved his father’s pharmaceutical company while he was still in medical school, traveled to the Soviet Union in his twenties, made huge amounts of money in business there, bought and amassed a huge collection of priceless czarist artwork and treasures, and made a fortune selling them in the United States. He later went on to buy the small and struggling Occidental Petroleum Corporation, turning it into a multibillion-dollar organization. Most people thought he was a business genius. But after he died, the truth about him came out.
Public Relations Over Human Relations
Armand Hammer’s image was the result of a carefully crafted public relations campaign that spanned seven decades. He manufactured much of his personal “history.” He continually controlled information about himself, hired ghostwriters to create fictitious autobiographies of his life, and even created a company, Armand Hammer Productions, whose mission was to make films promoting him. All these efforts were made to disguise a greedy, deceptive man who used people like objects and then threw them away like trash when he was finished with them.
Harvard-educated political scientist and author Edward Jay Epstein published a book called Dossier: The Secret History of Armand Hammer, which revealed Hammer’s real story. Hammer didn’t become a millionaire while in his twenties. Nor was he an art collector in Russia. He wanted to make a fortune in business, but he was continually in debt and actually supported himself through government-granted business concessions and by laundering money for the Soviets so that they could finance covert agents. When Soviet officials needed someone to unload the art treasures they had confiscated in the wake of the revolution, they looked to Hammer. He made up the story about his first million to explain how he came by the artwork and treasures. As he sold the objects in the U.S., he received a percentage, but the bulk of the funds were funneled to the Soviets.3
Hammer never really had much money—until he married his second wife. His first wife, Olga, and he were married in Russia in 1928. When he first met her in 1925, she was married to someone else, but Hammer quickly convinced her to divorce her husband. In 1929, they had a son, Julian. But when Hammer’s aspirations grew and Olga no longer fit the image he wanted to project, he went looking for another wife. He began wooing Angela Carey Zevely, a socialite whose family traveled in the same circles as the Roosevelts. In 1943, three weeks after his divorce from Olga was final, he married Angela. He used her money and her political connections to get a concession from the government so he could make liquor for general consumption at a time when most distilleries were required to produce materials that would help with the war effort. The venture was very profitable, but he also incurred heavy debts.
In the 1950s, Angela had served her purpose, and Hammer was ready to look for another wife. He soon found Frances Tolman, a widow whose husband had left her $8 million. He had already promised his mistress, Bettye Jane Murphy, that he would marry her when he divorced Angela, but he reneged on that promise—even though Bettye was expecting the child Hammer said he wanted. He had Bettye shipped to Mexico, arranged a phony marriage for her with another man to keep his own name off the birth certificate, and made her promise not to tell the child he was the father when she was born. Meanwhile, when his divorce was finally settled in 1956, he married Frances. He then lent his companies Frances’s money to get them out of debt. He also bought stock in Occidental Petroleum Corporation.
A New Role
It didn’t take Hammer long to become president and chairman of Occidental. He had already built his reputation (falsely) as a great businessman. His flair for publicity and hype drove up the company’s stock price. He then used the inflated stock to buy other companies. To keep absolute control of the company, since he owned only 10 percent of its stock, he forced the members of Occidental’s board of directors to give him signed, undated letters of resignation. That way, he could keep them from voting against him.4 When he saw the potential for a vastly lucrative oil deal in Libya, he bribed his way in.
Meanwhile, he used Occidental like his own personal bank account. In the end, he owned only 1 percent of Occidental’s stock, but since he was chairman of the company, he used its resources to subsidize his philanthropic activities, underwrite his parties, pay for his personal lawyers and bodyguards, and provide him with a private jet—a Boeing 727.5
Same Old Story
Hammer appears to have burned every relational bridge he ever built. He had no friends at Occidental; he “fired his top executives as though they were errand boys.”6 He allowed his father to go to prison for him (the older doctor took the blame for a botched abortion Hammer performed that led to a woman’s death). He neglected his only son, sometimes paying him to stay out of the public eye and forcing him to make an appointment to talk to him on the phone. He hid himself from his only other child, his illegitimate daughter, Victoria. He left a trail of broken marriages. Even his last wife, Frances, gave her relatives evidence prior to her death so that they could sue him for defrauding her of $400 million. And Hammer collected, cast off, and paid off (with Occidental’s funds) various mistresses over the years.
Hammer alienated his two brothers’ families too. In 1970, when the wife of his brother Harry died, her family asked Hammer to give them the old homestead in Vicksburg, Mississippi, which had been in their family for six generations. Instead, he sold it to a stranger for $22,000.7 And in 1985 when his brother Victor died, Hammer filed a claim of $667,000 against the $700,000 estate rather than disbursing it to Victor’s children and nursing-home-bound wife. Hammer dropped the claim to avoid the publicity only when it appeared that Victor’s daughter would make the case public.
It’s no surprise that when Hammer’s funeral was held on December 13, 1990, it was poorly attended. His son, Julian, did not attend. Neither did the family of his two brothers. His pallbearers were his chauffeur, his male nurse, and other personal employees.
More than anything else, Hammer had wanted to build and protect his reputation. Epstein describes Hammer as “a bullying blowhard with an ego like a Mack truck, whose main aim was to parlay a genius for negotiation (which he had) into a Nobel Peace Prize (which, luckily for the prestige of that award, he never got). His career as humanitarian . . . was loud, insubstantial and based on hype.”8
In the end, Hammer had nothing. He didn’t have the huge personal fortune everyone expected. Within a year of Hammer’s death, more than one hundred charities, museums, family members, and other individuals had made claims against his estate. (He had publicly promised large sums to many charitable organizations, but had not followed through on many of those promises.) Within days of his death, Occidental Petroleum distanced itself from him. (The company’s Web site doesn’t even mention him in its history.) His family was in shambles (not that it would bother him). And his precious image was ruined. When documents in Russia became declassified after the fall of the Soviet Union, his carefully hidden role in Soviet espionage came to light.
Why Relationships Matter Today
Armand Hammer exhibited a drive that was insatiable until his death at age ninety-two. It’s difficult to know what fueled it, but I suspect that the absence of fulfilling relationships in his life may have contributed to it. Somehow, he seemed to miss some key truths about relationships:
LIFE’S GREATEST EXPERIENCES INVOLVE OTHER PEOPLE
In The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, the Law of Significance states, “One is too small a number to achieve greatness.”9 All the significant accomplishments in the history of humankind have been achieved by teams of people. We tend to revere rugged individualists, but there are no real-life Rambos or Lone Rangers who do things of great achievement on their own. That truth can also be carried over to a personal level. Most of life’s great moments—the ones that resonate in our hearts and minds—involve other people. Rarely do we experience these times alone. And even when we do, our first inclination is to share them with others.
Think back to the most important experiences of your life, the highest highs, the greatest victories, the most daunting obstacles overcome. How many happened to you alone? I bet there are very few. When you understand that being connected to others is one of life’s greatest joys, you realize that life’s best comes when you initiate and invest in solid relationships.
YOU’LL ENJOY LIFE MORE IF YOU LIKE PEOPLE
Of the people you know, which seem to have the most fun in life? Think about them a moment. Would you describe them as negative, suspicious, surly, and antisocial? Of course not! When have you known someone with those characteristics who loved life and had a lot of fun? The Scrooges of life don’t enjoy much of anything. On the other hand, people who love people usually have a ball. If you like people, then no matter where you go, you’ll meet a friend.
YOU’LL GET FARTHER IN LIFE IF PEOPLE LIKE YOU
Consultant John Luther observes, “Natural talent, intelligence, a wonderful education—none of these guarantees success. Something else is needed: the sensitivity to understand what other people want and the willingness to give it to them. Worldly success depends on pleasing others. No one is going to win fame, recognition, or advancement just because he or she thinks it’s deserved. Someone else has to think so too.”
There’s an old saying in sales: All things being equal, the likable person wins. But all things not being equal, the likable person still wins. There’s no substitute for relational skill when it comes to getting ahead in any aspect of life. People who alienate others have a hard time. Here’s why:
All things being equal, the likable person wins. But all things not being equal, the likable person still wins.
• When people don’t like you . . . they’ll try to hurt you.
• If they can’t hurt you . . . they won’t help you.
• If they have to help you . . . they won’t hope you succeed.
• When they hope you don’t succeed . . . life’s victories feel hollow.
Donald O. Clifton and Paula Nelson, authors of Soar with Your Strengths, say, “Relationships help us to define who we are and what we can become. Most of us can trace our successes to pivotal relationships.”10 How many positive pivotal relationships have you had with people who didn’t like you?
“Relationships help us to define who we are and what we can become. Most of us can trace our successes to pivotal relationships.”
—DONALD O. CLIFTON AND PAULA NELSON
PEOPLE ARE ANY ORGANIZATION’S MOST APPRECIABLE ASSET
There are plenty of personal reasons to cultivate positive relationships, but there are also other practical ones. Any organization that succeeds does so because of its people. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a business, sports team, church, or society. Organizationally, you live or die with your people. That’s why Jim Collins, author of From Good to Great, writes about the importance of recruiting or, as he calls it, getting the right people on the bus.
Study any successful organization, and you’ll see that they value their people. Fred Smith of FedEx says, “Federal Express, from its inception, has put its people first both because it is right to do so and because it is good business as well. Our corporate philosophy is succinctly stated: People—Service—Profits.” Appreciate your people as your greatest assets, and they will continually increase in value.
Making the Decision to Initiate and Invest in Solid Relationships Daily
When I was in college in 1965, I took Psychology 101 with Dr. David Van Hoose. One day as he was lecturing, he said something that really got my attention. He remarked, “If you have one true friend in life, you are very fortunate. If you have two real friends, it is highly unusual.” I was dumbfounded. As a sanguine student, I thought everyone had lots of friends. Even though Dr. Van Hoose defined friendships as relationships characterized by unconditional love, I was still shocked.
Relationships had always been important to me, and I developed good people skills at a young age. When I was in my early teens, my father encouraged me to read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. I’ve always remembered the advice that the master of relationships gave in the book: “In order to make friends, one must first be friendly.”11 I had embraced that recommendation, but after hearing the words of my psychology professor, I determined to be more intentional and take relationships to a new level in my life. That’s when I made this relationship decision: I will initiate and make an investment in relationships with others.
I think a lot of people don’t take responsibility for the relationships in their lives. They simply let things happen to them rather than being intentional about it. But to have the kind of solid relationships that bring fulfillment, you have to change your mind-set when it comes to dealing with others. Here are some ways you can do that:
PLACE A HIGH VALUE ON PEOPLE
Let’s face it, if you don’t care about people, you are unlikely to make building good relationships a priority in your life. My friend Ken Blanchard, author of Whale Done and Raving Fans, jokes that the Department of Motor Vehicles evidently seeks out and hires people who hate people. When you go to get your driver’s license, you expect to be treated poorly. What onetime national salesman of the year Les Giblin said is true: “You can’t make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.”
“You can’t make the other fellow feel important in your presence if you secretly feel that he is a nobody.”
—LES GIBLIN
The solution is to place a high value on people. Expect the best from everyone. Assume people’s motives are good unless they prove them to be otherwise. Value them by their best moments. And give them your friendship rather than asking for theirs. That will ultimately be their decision.
LEARN TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE
Tom Peters and Nancy Austin, authors of A Passion for Excellence, state that “the number one managerial productivity problem in America is, quite simply, managers who are out of touch with their people and out of touch with their customers.”12 I think one possible explanation is that some managers don’t value people. But that isn’t always true. Many people care about others, but they still remain out of touch. In those cases, I think the problem is that they don’t understand people.
“The number one managerial productivity problem in America is, quite simply, managers who are out of touch with their people and out of touch with their customers.”
—TOM PETERS AND NANCY AUSTIN
If you desire to improve your understanding of people so that you can build positive relationships, then keep in mind the following truths about people—and actions you can take to bridge the gap often caused by them:
• People are insecure . . . give them confidence.
• People want to feel special . . . sincerely compliment them.
• People desire a better tomorrow . . . show them hope.
• People need to be understood . . . listen to them.
• People are selfish . . . speak to their needs first.
• People get emotionally low . . . encourage them.
• People want to be associated with success . . . help them win.
When you understand people, don’t take their shortcomings personally, and help them to succeed, you lay the groundwork for good relationships.
GIVE RESPECT FREELY BUT EXPECT TO EARN IT FROM OTHERS
One day a man arriving at the airport saw a well-dressed businessman yelling at a porter about the way he was handling his luggage. The more irate the businessman became, the calmer and more professional the porter appeared. When the abusive man left, the first man complimented the porter on his restraint. “Oh, it was nothing,” said the porter. “You know, that man’s going to Miami, but his bags—they’re going to Kalamazoo.” People who disrespect others always hurt themselves relationally—and they often reap other negative consequences.
I believe every human being deserves to be treated with respect because everyone has value. I also have observed that giving people respect first is one of the most effective ways of interacting with others. However, that doesn’t mean you can demand respect in return. You must earn it. If you respect yourself, respect others, and exhibit competence, others will almost always give you respect. If everyone treated others with respect, the world would be a better place.
COMMIT YOURSELF TO ADDING VALUE TO OTHERS
Nineteenth-century English preacher Charles Spurgeon advised, “Carve your name on hearts and not on marble.” The best way to do that is to add value to others. Do that by . . .
“Carve your name on hearts and not on marble.”
—CHARLES SPURGEON
• Looking for ability in others
• Helping others discover their ability
• Helping others develop their ability
Some people approach every interaction with others as a transaction. They’re willing to add value, but only if they expect to receive value in return. If you want to make relationships a priority, you must check your motives to be sure you are not trying to manipulate others for your own gain.
To make sure your motives are right, take this advice from Leo Buscaglia, who wrote Loving Each Other: “Always start a relationship by asking: Do I have ulterior motives for wanting to relate to this person? Is my caring conditional? Am I trying to escape something? Am I planning to change the person? Do I need this person to help me make up for a deficiency in myself? If your answer to any of these questions is ‘yes,’ leave the person alone. He or she is better off without you.”13
Managing the Disciplines of Relationship Building
I think a lot of the time we take relationships for granted. Because of that, we don’t always give them the attention they deserve or require. But good relationships require a lot of effort. To keep me on track in my relationships so that I’m investing in them as I must to make them successful, I practice this discipline: Every day I make the conscious effort to deposit goodwill into my relationships with others.
That means I give more than I expect to receive, love others unconditionally, look for ways to add value to others, and bring joy to the relationships I hold dear. Every evening, I evaluate this area of my life by asking myself, “Have I been thoughtful toward people today? Would they express joy that they have spent time with me?” If the answer is yes, then I’ve done my part.
If you want to improve your relationships through your everyday actions, then do the following:
PUT OTHERS FIRST
The best way to start off on the right foot is to put others first. The most basic way to do that is to practice the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. If you take that mind-set into all your interactions with others, you can’t go wrong. But there are also other ways to show people they matter and that you are interested in their well-being: Walk slowly through the crowd, remember people’s names, smile at everyone, and be quick to offer help. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
DON’T CARRY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE
Few things weigh as much as old hurts and offenses carried day after day in a person’s life. If you want to enjoy your time with other people, you’ve got to get rid of that kind of stuff. You can’t keep score of old wrongs and expect to make relationships right. If someone has hurt you and you need to address it and get it out onto the table, then do it right away. Resolve it and get beyond it. If it’s not worth bringing up, forget about it and move on.
GIVE TIME TO YOUR MOST VALUABLE RELATIONSHIPS
Most people give away their relational energy on a first-come, first-served basis. Whoever gets their attention first gobbles up their time and relational energy. That’s why the squeaky wheels instead of the high producers at work consume so much attention and why so many people have nothing left to give when they get home from work. Since you’ve already read the chapter on family, you already know that I believe your family provides the most valuable relationships in your life. They should come first as you plan to spend your time. After that should come your next most important relationships. It’s a matter of practicing good priorities.
SERVE OTHERS GLADLY
I once heard an airline executive explain how difficult it is to hire and train people for his industry. He said that service is the only thing they have to sell, but it is the toughest thing to teach because nobody wants to be thought of as a servant.
“Life is an exciting business and most exciting when lived for others.”
—HELEN KELLER
Helen Keller said, “Life is an exciting business and most exciting when lived for others.” I think that’s true. The longer I live, the more convinced I am that adding value to others is the greatest thing we can do in this life. Because of that, when I serve, I try to do so cheerfully and with the greatest impact.
EXPRESS LOVE AND APPRECIATION OFTEN
After I had my heart attack, a lot of people asked me, “What was your dominant emotion? Was it fear, panic, questions?” My answer surprised many of them. In fact, it really surprised me. It was love. More than anything else in those moments of pain when I wasn’t sure whether I would live or die, I wanted to tell the people closest to me how much I loved them—my family, the people who work with me, longtime friends. I learned that you can’t tell the people you love how much you love them too often.
I think many people believe the best way they can help others is to criticize them, to give them the benefit of their “wisdom.” I disagree. The best way to help people is to see the best in them. I want to encourage every person I meet. I want them to know the good I see in them. I practice the 101 percent principle. I look for the 1 thing I admire in them and give them 100 percent encouragement for it. It helps me to like them. It helps them to like me. And what else could be better for starting a relationship?
The best way to help people is to see the best in them.
Reflecting on Relationships
As I grow older, what I cherish most are my relationships. I’ve been very fortunate in this area of life for a long time. Over a two-year period when I was in my twenties, I was best man in eight weddings. I can’t count the number of friends I have. I enjoy a great marriage. I’ve built relationships that have lasted for decades. Every week, my assistant receives a call from someone who describes himself as my “best friend.” And every day I receive e-mails from people I love. As I look back, I realize:
In my 20s . . . My relationships filled my days with joy.
In my 30s . . . My relationships gave me wisdom and insight.
In my 40s . . . My relationships lifted me to a higher level.
In my 50s . . . My relationships provide me with wonderful memories.
My greatest moments and memories are filled with the people who mean the most to me. I sometimes observe that one day the inscription on my tombstone should read:
John Maxwell
He was my friend
I say it as a joke because I know so many people. But if I knew others would describe me as their friend after I die, I would be content. Some executive once observed, “It’s lonely at the top.” To that someone else might say, “It’s lonely at the bottom too!” My advice is to put yourself where others are, because nothing else in life is as fulfilling as the relationships we cultivate.
My Model, My Mentor, My Friend
As I sat down to write this chapter, I began to think about the relationships I value most highly in my life. And I asked myself, “Outside of my family, what relationship has been the most impacting and fulfilling?” Very quickly one name came to me. The person who has been the most influential mentor in my life, next to my father, is Dr. Bill Bright, the founder of Campus Crusade for Christ.
Has someone who was bigger, faster, and better than you ever come alongside you and taken an interest in you? That’s what Bill Bright did for me. In my circles he was a legend. He’s what I call a level five leader, someone who’s larger than life; a leader people follow because of who he is and what he represents. In the 1950s, he and his wife, Vonnette, made a declaration that they would become slaves for the sake of their faith, and they have lived out that commitment. His worldwide organization has nearly thirteen thousand employees and more than ten thousand trained volunteers. He has been awarded the Templeton Prize for the advancement of religion. Billy Graham called him “a man whose sincerity and integrity and devotion to our Lord have been an inspiration and a blessing to me ever since the early days of my ministry.”14
Twenty years ago, Bill took me under his wing and became my mentor. He always made time for me. When I had leadership questions, he graciously answered them. He became a model of visionary leadership to me, challenging me to think bigger, to reach farther, to give more of myself. But he was also my friend. He loved me and gave to me with absolutely no thought of getting anything in return.
A Way to Say Thank You
In 2001, I had the privilege of honoring Bill Bright at one of our conferences with the Catalyst Award for lifetime achievement, for being “a leader, pioneer, mentor, and friend of leaders for fifty years.” He was very gracious when he accepted it; he’s received so many awards over the decades that it probably didn’t mean much to him. But it was a big deal to me. Especially since I knew he was dying.
During the ceremony, I read a letter that I composed and delivered to Bill after I received word that he was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. I remember writing it on a plane and just weeping, and I was embarrassed when the flight attendants asked me if I was okay. I wanted to let Bill know how much he meant to me. In part, the letter said,
Bill, the greatest deposit you have made in my life is your personal interest in me. Often you have said with affection, “My dear John.” Each time those words have touched my heart. It was your belief in me that placed me on a program of a conference in 1983. And as I sat beside Lloyd Ogilvie, Ray Stedman, Chuck Swindoll, John Stott, Chuck Colson, and you, I realized this 37-year-old kid was way over his head. Why would you pick me out of a crowd of leaders in South Korea and ask me to ride in your car in the motorcade . . . ? You honored me when I was asked to speak at your international conference. You lifted me to a higher level when you wrote a chapter in my prayer partner book. Over the years, I’ve benefited from your notes, phone calls, and personal encouragement. But my greatest moment with you was after a lunch we shared together in the late 80s when I felt the load of leadership and you asked me to kneel beside you. That day as I knelt beside you, you laid hands on me and you prayed for God to strengthen me. We embraced and God did answer your prayer.
What’s so remarkable is that Bill poured his life into hundreds and thousands of others, just as he poured his life into me.
In March of 2003, I was surprised by a note I received from Bill. In it he invited me to take his place as the chairman of the Global Pastors Network, an organization he founded to equip leaders around the world. He said, “I would like to . . . bestow upon you a worldwide mantle of leadership to touch and train more than ten million pastors in the next ten years. My desire is that God would catapult you further than you have dreamed possible in your lifetime.” It was a great privilege. Not only was he giving me an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of so many people, but he was giving me a chance to give back for all he had given me.
On July 19, 2003, Bill Bright died. I’m grateful that I got to see him six days before he passed away to say good-bye. I’ll miss him. But with his passing, the overwhelming emotion I feel isn’t sadness. It’s fulfillment. The relationship I had with him is one of the great joys of my life. And I think back to the words of my psychology professor, Dr. Van Hoose, from four decades ago: “If you have one true friend in life, you are very fortunate.” I know I am fortunate indeed.
RELATIONSHIP APPLICATION AND EXERCISESINITIATING AND INVESTING IN SOLID RELATIONSHIPS DAILY
Your Relationship Decision Today
Where do you stand when it comes to relationships today? Ask yourself these three questions:
1. Have I already made the decision to initiate and invest in solid relationships daily?
2. If so, when did I make that decision?
3. What exactly did I decide? (Write it here.)
Your Relationship Discipline Every Day
Based on the decision you made concerning relationships, what discipline must you practice today and every day in order to be successful? Write it here.
Making Up for Yesterday
If you need some help making the decision to commit to developing good relationships and practicing the everyday discipline of living it out, do the following exercises:
1. What is your natural bent when it comes to dealing with people? When you are trying to accomplish a task or facing a challenge, what’s more important to you—the situation or the people involved? If you tend to put your agenda ahead of people, you need to learn to place a higher value on people. Begin by making it a practice to ask yourself, “How will this impact others?” every time you begin a new project or make major decisions. (If you are very task-focused, then make the question part of your agenda.) Then explore the people factor in your mind and figure out ways to accomplish your goals while keeping people first.
2. Take action to better understand and interact with the important people in your life based on these seven observations:
| Characteristic | Action |
| 1. Insecurity | Give them confidence |
| 2. Desire to feel special | Sincerely compliment them |
| 3. Desire for a better tomorrow | Show them hope |
| 4. Need to be understood | Listen to them |
| 5. Selfishness | Speak to their needs first |
| 6. Being emotionally down | Encourage them |
| 7. Desire for success | Help them win |
Pick someone new each week to invest in using this strategy.
3. Begin writing notes to the important people in your life expressing your love and appreciation for them. When I was a pastor, I used to ask my staff to devote time every Monday to handwriting notes to people. Many of them still make a practice of doing it.
4. Begin to add value to people very intentionally. Become a mentor to someone in whom you see great potential. Begin by doing the following:
• Look for ability in them.
• Help them discover their ability.
• Help them develop their ability.
5. Xerox did some research and found that “totally satisfied” customers were six times more likely to repurchase Xerox products over the next year and a half than customers who described themselves as merely “satisfied.”15 In business, executing the work well often isn’t enough to be successful. You have to build relationships. In your career or profession, what can you do to improve your relationships with your clients, customers, or employees? Begin doing it today.
Looking Forward to Tomorrow
Spend some time reflecting on how your decision to develop relationships and the daily discipline required to maintain them will positively impact you in the future. What will be the compounding benefits? Write them here.
Keep what you’ve written as a constant reminder, because . . .
Reflection today motivates your discipline every day, and
Discipline every day maximizes your decision of yesterday.