Today’s VALUES Give Me Direction
While I was preparing to write this chapter, two notable things happened. Sam Waksal, former CEO of ImClone, who had pleaded guilty to securities fraud, bank fraud, conspiracy to obstruct justice, and perjury, was sentenced to more than seven years in prison and ordered to pay nearly $4.3 million in fines and back taxes. The judge in the case, William H. Pauley, told Waksal, “The harm that you wrought is truly incalculable,” and said he had damaged his company, his family, and investors nationwide.1 The other notable thing was that Martha Stewart, founder of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and a friend of Waksal, was indicted on charges of securities fraud, obstruction of justice, conspiracy, and making false statements to prosecutors and the FBI.2
Unless you’ve had your head in the sand since the beginning of the new millennium, you’ve grown sick of hearing such stories. Enron admits to inflating its income figures by $586 million over a few years and files Chapter 11 bankruptcy. The Justice Department is still working to find out how much executives knew about the company’s status while unloading more than $1 billion of Enron stock.3 WorldCom admits to overstating profits by $7.1 billion,4 costing 17,000 workers their jobs, and costing the company’s stock 75 percent of its value.5 News breaks of the Catholic churches covering up improprieties by some priests. The list goes on and on.
What do all of these stories have in common? Values! Every story reflects the incredible damage that can be done when individuals lose direction after failing to embrace and practice good values daily. James B. Comey, the United States attorney for the Southern District of New York, said the indictment against Stewart was a tragedy for her company and its six hundred employees. “It’s a tragedy that could have been prevented if those two people had only done what parents have taught their children for eons,” he said, “that if you are in a tight spot, lying is not the way out. Lying is an act with profound consequences.”6
Why Values Matter Today
George H. Lorimer, onetime editor at the Saturday Evening Post, said, “Back of every life there are principles that have fashioned it.” Those principles that guide your life are your values. After all, a person’s core values are nothing more than principles that he or she has internalized. And those core values are critical to success because they function as . . .
“Back of every life there are principles that have fashioned it.”
—GEORGE H. LORIMER
AN ANCHOR
How do you make good decisions during life’s inevitable rough times if you don’t have values? How do you find direction? People without values are adrift on the ocean of life. When the waves come crashing down, they have no place to rest. Any big storm can threaten to put them under. Any current is liable to take them places they don’t want to go. However, when you have strong values, you have something that holds you steady, even when the weather gets nasty.
A FAITHFUL FRIEND
Because your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul, they become a companion to you throughout your life. That can be very reassuring. U.S. President Abraham Lincoln said, “When I lay down the reins of this administration, I want to have one friend left, and that friend is inside myself.”
Your core values are the deeply held beliefs that authentically describe your soul.
YOUR NORTH STAR
Just like your circumstances, the way you live your life is constantly changing. You acquire new skills, disciplines, and habits. Practices always change according to the situation. On the other hand, values don’t. They are always dependable to guide you. To paraphrase a saying I once heard,
Methods are many,
Values are few.
Methods always change,
Values never do.
Once you have thoroughly examined your values and articulated them, you will be able to steer your life by them. You may add to your list as you become older and wiser, but if something is truly a core value, then it remains one for life.
Over the years, I’ve taught a lot of lessons on values to leaders because values are critical to any kind of success. In preparing to write this book, I spent some time revisiting my own values. Now that I am in my fifties, I think I have finally created the list that will last me until the end of my life. I used that list to outline this book:
I value my attitude because it gives me possibilities.
I value my priorities because they give me focus.
I value my health because it gives me strength.
I value my family because it gives me stability.
I value my thinking because it gives me an advantage.
I value my commitment because it gives me tenacity.
I value my finances because they give me options.
I value my faith because it gives me peace.
I value my relationships because they give me fulfillment.
I value my generosity because it gives me significance.
I value my values because they give me direction.
I value my growth because it gives me potential.
With the guidance of those twelve values, I hope to fulfill the purpose of my life, which centers on three main areas:
1. My Family: to live a credible life so that my values are accepted by my family.
2. My Work: to influence as many people as possible in the shortest amount of time.
3. Myself: to die with the satisfaction that I have served God, others, and my family.
If you want to be proactive in the way you live your life, if you want to influence your life’s direction, if you want your life to exhibit the qualities you find desirable, and if you want to live with integrity, then you need to know what your values are, decide to embrace them, and practice them every day.
Making the Decision to Embrace and Practice Good Values Daily
I grew up in a home where great values were taught and lived out, but I didn’t make a conscious decision to embrace good values and live them out until 1970 when I was twenty-three years old. That year I read Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Sanders.7 It changed my life. Up until then, I had been a people pleaser and census taker in my leadership. I led people according to what was popular. Ninety percent of the time that was okay. But on the occasions when a real leadership decision was required, when I really needed to do something that would be unpopular, I wavered. Reading Sanders’s book made me realize that I was not leading according to my values, and it gave me the courage to do the right thing, even if it wasn’t popular. I made the decision: I will lead others based on the values I embrace.
I still have my copy of Spiritual Leadership because it marked me. Inside the back cover, I wrote three commitments that would shape the rest of my life. The book challenged me . . .
1. To Be God’s Man: No matter where my work takes me, I desire to be in the center of God’s will.
2. To Develop My Potential to the Best of My Ability: I will never allow myself to be lazy, indifferent, or noncommittal concerning spiritually lost people.
3. To Be a True Spiritual Leader: God is my idol, Jesus is my pattern, and the Bible provides my direction. Too many men are stereotyped leaders. Their whole outlook is warped by their surroundings. I will not, with God’s help, be poured into another man’s mold or teach what I do not believe.
For thirty-four years, I’ve continually asked myself this question: “Am I leading others according to the values I embrace?” At times, my value-based leadership has alienated me from others, but never from myself.
At times, my value-based leadership has alienated me from others, but never from myself.
Comedian Fred Allen said, “You only live once. But if you work it right, once is enough.” How can people work it right? By knowing their values and living by them every day. Do that, and you will have few regrets at the end of your life. Here are some suggestions to help you get started:
CREATE A LIST OF GOOD VALUES
Begin writing down any and every idea you have concerning values. List every admirable character quality you can think of. As an aspect of your life comes to mind, try to capture what’s important to you about it. Ultimately, your values should not be determined by externals, such as your profession or your environment, but as you consider such things, you will be prompted to be thorough in your thinking.
When you think you’ve exhausted every possible idea, set the list aside for a while but keep thinking about it in the back of your mind. When new ideas come, add them to the list. You may also want to do some reading to stir your thinking and see if you’ve missed anything.
After a few weeks, begin to combine ideas on the list. (For example, “truthfulness” and “integrity” really overlap. So do “commitment” and “hard work.” Choose one—or pick another word that better describes both terms together.) Then narrow it down. You can’t possibly live out twenty or fifty values, so you need to start eliminating some. Which are based on truth and your highest ideals? Which items on your list truly represent the core of your being? Which will be lasting? What would you be willing to live for? To die for? Start eliminating anything that’s superficial or temporary. If you’re married, involve your spouse in this process. Your lists of values may not be identical, but they should have much in common. And if any of your values seem to be at odds with your spouse’s, beware. You need to talk these values through and find out where you really stand, or there will always be conflict in your marriage.
EMBRACE THOSE GOOD VALUES
Years ago my friend Jim Dobson, the founder of Focus on the Family, delivered the commencement address at Seattle Pacific University. In it he spoke about the midlife crisis that many people experience between the ages of thirty-five and fifty. He said, “I believe that it is more a phenomenon of a wrong value system than it is the age group in which it occurs. All of a sudden you realize that the ladder you’ve been climbing is leaning against the wrong wall.” Clarifying and embracing your values can help you to prevent such an occurrence from happening to you.
MAKE A DECISION TO LIVE THOSE VALUES DAILY
True life change begins when you decide to change your value system, because it’s foundational to everything you do. My friend Pat Williams, senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, once told me that when Roy Disney was asked about the secret of Disney’s success, he used to say that the company was managed by values, which led to ease in good decision making. The same is true for an individual.
Physicist Albert Einstein advised, “Try not to become men of success. Rather, become men of value.” Why would he say such a thing? Because he knew that having values keeps a person focused on the important things. That leads to a better quality of life, a life of integrity. Besides, if you focus on your values, success is likely to follow anyway.
“Try not to become men of success. Rather, become men of value.”
—ALBERT EINSTEIN
Managing the Discipline of Values
Managing your life according to your values isn’t easy. Why? Because your values will be tested daily by those who do not embrace them. Negative people may discount you when you display a positive attitude. People without families may not understand your devotion to your family. Unteachable people won’t understand your dedication to personal growth. And those whose priorities are different from yours will try to convince you to follow them or make unwise compromises.
The discipline I practice to battle this is simple: Every day I review and reflect on my values. To help me do that, I keep a list of my Daily Dozen in my “thinking companion,” a little notebook I always keep with me so that I can write down ideas and jot down reminders of things to tell Margaret. Every time I open the notebook, I see those twelve values. I also give myself the twelve-minute test. At the end of each day, I spend one minute reviewing and reflecting on each of the Daily Dozen. That way, I stay on track and am less likely to drift away from living out my values.
To become better at embracing and practicing your values every day, follow these guidelines:
ARTICULATE AND EMBRACE YOUR VALUES DAILY
How do you manage something as abstract as your values? You begin by putting them in concrete form. Once you’ve created your list of values, write a descriptive statement for each one explaining how you intend to apply it to your life and what benefit or direction that will bring. Keep that document where you can see it every day. Think about your values often to help them “soak in.” As you go through your day and face decisions, measure your choices against your values. And whenever it’s appropriate, talk about them. It not only cements your values in your mind and helps you to practice them, but it also adds a level of accountability.
Good business leaders understand the importance of speaking about their values continually. Stew Leonard, president of Stew Leonard’s Dairy, says that he continually verbalizes the value of the company’s customers. “We don’t see customers the way you do,” he says. “Our people imagine each of our customers with $50,000 tattooed on their forehead.” How is that? It’s simply a matter of math:
$100 Average amount each customer spends per week
x 50 Number of weeks per year customers shop his store
x 10 Average number of years residents live in his city
= $50,000 The value of each customer8
When you embrace your values wholeheartedly and articulate them continually, you dramatically increase your chances of living.
COMPARE YOUR VALUES TO YOUR PRACTICES DAILY
The gap between knowing and doing is significantly greater than the gap between ignorance and knowledge. A person who identifies and articulates his values but doesn’t practice them is like a salesman who makes promises to a customer and then fails to deliver. He has no credibility. In business, the result is that the person loses his job. In life, the person loses his integrity.
The gap between knowing and doing is significantly greater than the gap between ignorance and knowledge.
In 1995, Girish Shah, an assistant controller for a division of a Fortune 500 company, was charged with embezzling $988,000 from the company over an eight-year period. He pleaded no contest in court, and he was prepared to repay $728,000 immediately and borrow additional money from relatives to repay the rest.
The CEO of the company was outraged. To court officials he wrote:
I view Mr. Shah’s crime as particularly egregious. Not only did he steal from the stockholders of this Fortune 500 company, but he breached the fiduciary duty placed in him by the company and his supervisors. . . . I urge you to impress upon Mr. Shah and those others who commit similar crimes that wrongdoing of this nature against society is considered a grave matter by the Texas Court and will not be condoned.9
You know what was ironic about that statement? It was made by Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski, the man later charged with looting $600 million from that same company with the help of two other executives.10 Evidently this disconnection between his stated values and his practices was a pattern. Kozlowski used to brag to people about how frugal he was with the company’s money. He often pointed out the spartan offices the company possessed in one location even as he maintained lavishly appointed offices in another.
Discrepancies between values and practices create chaos in a person’s life. If you talk your values but neglect to walk them, then you will continually undermine your integrity and credibility. And that will happen even if you are unaware of your behavior and are not doing it intentionally.
LIVE OUT YOUR VALUES REGARDLESS OF YOUR FEELINGS
Many people get into trouble when their values and their feelings collide. When you’re feeling good and everything’s going your way, it’s not difficult to consistently live out your values. However, when your values determine you should take an action that will hurt you or cost you something, it can be harder to follow through.
If one of your values is integrity and you found a bank bag of money on the street that you suspected was stolen, you probably wouldn’t have too difficult a time turning the money in to the police. But what if you saw your boss stealing from the company you work for and you knew that calling attention to it would get you fired? That choice would be more difficult, especially if you knew that losing your job might cost you your house or ruin you financially.
Successful people do what’s right no matter how they feel about it. They don’t expect to be able to feel their way into acting. They act first and then hope that their feelings follow suit. Usually that doesn’t involve anything dramatic. The tough decisions are the everyday ones. For example, if good health is one of my values, will I exercise even though I don’t feel like it in the morning? Will I refrain from eating a big piece of chocolate cake even though I really want it? To be successful, my values—not my feelings—need to control my actions. Ken Blanchard and Norman Vincent Peale wrote in The Power of Ethical Management, “Nice guys may appear to finish last, but usually they are running in a different race.”11 Living by your values is running in a different race.
“Nice guys may appear to finish last, but usually they are running in a different race.”
—BLANCHARD AND PEALE
EVALUATE EACH DAY IN LIGHT OF YOUR VALUES
Most people take very little time to do any reflective thinking, yet that is necessary for anyone who wants to live out his values with consistency. Ben Franklin used to get up in the morning asking himself, “What good will I do today?” When he went to bed, he asked himself, “What good did I do today?” He was evaluating himself in light of one of his values. For the last several years, I’ve tried to do something similar. At the end of the day, I reflect on whether I have added value to anyone’s life during the day, because that is something I desire to do every day of my life.
Reflecting on Values
As I reflect on the values decision I made in 1970, I realize that it has provided me direction in my personal and professional life:
In my 20s . . . My values gave me courage to do the right thing.
In my 30s . . . My values motivated me to leave my comfort zone and take big steps professionally.
In my 40s . . . My values enabled me to have favor with other leaders.
In my 50s . . . My values have given me great security.
For thirty-four years, my values have provided a solid foundation on which I have built my life.
An Audience with the President
Early in 2003, I found myself in one of those situations where I had to make a difficult choice. I do a lot of conferences for business organizations and large corporations. In recent years, one of the organizations that has often invited me to speak is Home Interiors. I was scheduled to speak at their national convention for several days, but a few days before I was to speak, I received the kind of phone call a leader only dreams about. A staff member from the White House called to ask if I could come to participate in a two-hour meeting the president would be having on Thursday.
What an opportunity! I had met George W. Bush once when he was governor of Texas, before he decided to run for president. But meeting him at the White House and having an opportunity to voice my opinion on an issue in a session with him was quite a privilege. There was just one problem. The meeting was at the same time as one of the sessions I was scheduled to teach to the people of Home Interiors. My brain immediately went into overdrive. I’m the kind of person who loves to explore options and solve problems. This was simply an obstacle to overcome. Somehow, I was going to work it out to meet with the president and keep my commitment to Home Interiors.
Linda Eggers, my assistant, and I began exploring possibilities. We talked to representatives from Home Interiors to discuss options. They were very gracious and flexible, and they were even excited for me. We tried sliding my speaking slot to another day. We tried moving the time. We explored whether I could rent a private jet to make the trip to Washington and still get back on time. None of those things worked. The only option that seemed viable was to videotape me on Monday and show the session on Thursday. We had finally found something that worked!
But then I got to thinking. That was okay for me, but what about for Home Interiors? Wasn’t commitment one of my personal values? And didn’t I teach the people at my company, Maximum Impact, to display a 100 percent commitment to excellence in everything we do? I asked Linda to get Home Interiors’ representative back on the phone. “Let me ask you one thing,” I said. “Which would you rather have? Me live or on tape?” Obviously, the answer was live. “I’ll be there Thursday as we promised.” I hung up the phone and asked Linda to send my regrets to the White House.
That’s the Way Life Is
There’s nothing a leader likes better than to meet with other leaders and talk about leadership, so passing on the meeting was extremely disappointing. But it was the right thing to do. I made the decision based on my values. Now, do I always do the right thing? No, of course not. But am I always striving to live out my values with integrity? Absolutely. That’s the most important part of the process. What’s ironic is that the meeting with the president was canceled at the last minute anyway. President Bush had to meet with Prime Minister Tony Blair on short notice because of the situation in Iraq. How sad it would have been if I had made the other decision, based on how I felt about the opportunity! I would have let down the people of Home Interiors, I would have compromised my values and integrity, and I still would not have gotten to meet with the president.
By choosing to embrace and practice good values every day, you may not always get what you desire, but you will always be the person you desire to be.
By choosing to embrace and practice good values every day, you choose the higher course in life. And your life goes in a direction that you will always feel good about. You may not always get what you desire, but you will always be the person you desire to be.
VALUES APPLICATION AND EXERCISESEMBRACING AND PRACTICING GOOD VALUES DAILY
Your Values Decision Today
Where do you stand when it comes to values today? Ask yourself these three questions:
1. Have I already made the decision to embrace and practice good values daily?
2. If so, when did I make that decision?
3. What exactly did I decide? (Write it here.)
Your Values Discipline Every Day
Based on the decision you made concerning values, what is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful? Write it here.
Making Up for Yesterday
If you need some help making the right decision concerning values and developing the everyday discipline to live it out, do the following exercises:
1. What values have you been embracing up to now? One of the best ways to answer that question honestly is to examine yourself in a few key areas:
• How do you spend your time, especially your discretionary time?
• How do you spend your money, especially your discretionary money?
• Who are your heroes and role models?
• What do you think about most, especially when you’re alone?
Your answers to these questions will tell you a lot about what you really value.
2. Who has influenced you most in the area of values? Try to recall as many of the people as possible and write their names here. Then write the value or character quality they encouraged you to adopt. (Note: Some of the values may not be positive.)
3. Identify the role models whom you desire to emulate from today forward, along with a one-phrase strategy describing how you will interact with them (meet to discuss values, read their book, study their life, etc.).
4. Go through the process described in the chapter of brainstorming values and then select the values you desire to live out.
5. How have you handled your feelings in the past when they made you want to compromise your values? Has that been a difficulty or an area of strength for you? Most people need to develop a strategy to help themselves in this area. Try these:
• Identify the areas where you most often struggle, and then try to avoid putting yourself in those kinds of situations in the future.
• Brainstorm the pros of keeping a value versus the cons of compromising it in an area of weakness. Write the pros and cons on an index card or in your daily planner so that you are constantly reminded of the rewards of discipline and the consequences of compromise.
• Ask someone to hold you accountable in your area of weakness.
6. If you don’t strategically set aside time and designate a place to reflect every day on how your practices compare to your values, you probably won’t follow through. Plan a time and a place to do this on a regular basis.
Looking Forward to Tomorrow
Spend some time reflecting on how your decision concerning values and the daily discipline that comes out of it will positively impact you in the future. What compounding benefits do you expect to receive? Write them here.
Keep what you’ve written as a constant reminder, because . . .
Reflection today motivates your discipline every day, and
Discipline every day maximizes your decision of yesterday.