Today’s ATTITUDE Gives Me Possibilities
Is it possible for an individual to have success without a good attitude? The answer is yes, but their attitude will determine how much they enjoy the success. I once read an account in which Clarence Darrow told an audience in Lincoln, Nebraska, “If I were a young man in my twenties and knew what I do now, I would commit suicide.” Darrow was a successful lawyer and author, but based on that statement, I’d say his attitude was pretty grim.
Sigmund Freud is another example of someone with a poor attitude who was otherwise able to achieve. The father of modern psychotherapy was hailed as a groundbreaking genius during his lifetime, wrote numerous books, and influenced several generations of physicians, artists, and thinkers. He has been called one of the most influential people of the twentieth century. Yet from the time he was a teenager, he was pessimistic, skeptical, and often depressed.
For thirty years, Armand M. Nicholi Jr., an associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, has taught a class on Sigmund Freud at Harvard. He has also written a book about Freud in which he describes the chronic “pessimism, gloom, and general state of unhappiness” communicated in Freud’s letters and autobiography. Freud, who tried to relieve his distress with cocaine beginning at twenty-eight years of age,1 believed that happiness was difficult to experience, and unhappiness was the lot of most people. He remarked,
We are threatened with suffering from three directions: from our own body, which is doomed to decay and dissolution and which cannot even do without pain and anxiety as warning signals; from the external world, which may rage against us with overwhelming and merciless forces of destruction; and finally from our relations with other men. The suffering which comes from this last source is perhaps more painful to us than any other.2
And in his book Civilization and Its Discontents, Freud wrote, “What good to us is a long life if it is difficult and barren of joys, and if it is so full of misery that we can only welcome death as a deliverer?”3 Without a doubt, his attitude, not his accomplishments, influenced his outlook on life. He was a miserable person who was unhappy his entire life. What’s sad is he chose his discontent.
Why Attitude Matters Today
While it is possible for people with great talent or drive to achieve with a bad attitude, it doesn’t happen very often, and it takes an incredible amount of effort. And even if they do achieve some degree of success, they aren’t happy. (And they make the people around them miserable too.) Most often, people with bad attitudes don’t get very far in life.
On the other hand, even barely average people can do great things when their attitudes are great. In The Winner’s Edge, Denis Waitley observed, “The winner’s edge is not in a gifted birth, a high IQ, or in talent. The winner’s edge is all in the attitude, not aptitude. Attitude is the criterion for success. But you can’t buy an attitude for a million dollars. Attitudes are not for sale.”4
Here’s why attitude makes such a difference as you approach your day:
YOUR ATTITUDE AT THE BEGINNING OF A TASK AFFECTS ITS OUTCOME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE
You’ve heard the phrase “All’s well that ends well.” Here’s another that I believe is equally true: All’s well that begins well! Look at successful people and you’ll see that they embraced this truth, whether it’s a doctor going into surgery, a coach readying his team for a game, a pastor preparing a sermon, or a businessperson entering negotiations before a big deal. The confident person increases his chances for success. The pessimist invites the negative outcome he expects.
All’s well that begins well!
What is your attitude at the beginning of a new experience? Are you excited, cautious, or negative? Are there particular experiences that cause you to feel negative? If those experiences are areas critical to your success, then you need to make an adjustment in your attitude. Charlie Wetzel, who works with me on my books, recently underwent a change in attitude in his thinking concerning the process of editing. Charlie believes that most people in writing and publishing naturally gravitate to either writing or editing. He is a writer and has never particularly enjoyed the editing process. It reminds him of when he graded students’ papers as an English composition teacher.
Recently, when we were working on my book There’s No Such Thing as “Business” Ethics, he received the edited manuscript from the publisher and was asked to review it, check the editor’s changes, verify facts, etc. It’s a process he normally hates because he thinks it takes time away from the writing he should be doing. But this time, he decided to change his attitude as he approached the task. Rather than performing the task in short blocks of time during afternoons (mornings are prime writing times), he blocked off an entire week just for editing, and he looked at the task as an opportunity to refine the manuscript and take it to the next level. As a result, the job was more enjoyable and the results were more effective.
When you approach a task—especially an important one you don’t relish—fix your mind on the facts, not on your feelings. Focus on the possibilities, not the problems. That will put your attitude on the right track. And if it starts on the right track, it’s more likely to end up at the right destination.
YOUR ATTITUDE TOWARD OTHERS OFTEN DETERMINES THEIR ATTITUDE TOWARD YOU
A mother and her adult daughter were out shopping one day, trying to make the most of a big sale weekend before Christmas. As they went from store to store in the mall, the older woman complained about everything: the crowds, the poor quality of the merchandise, the prices, and her sore feet. After the mother experienced a particularly difficult interaction with a clerk in one department store, she turned to her daughter and said, “I’m never going back to that store again. Did you see that dirty look she gave me?”
The daughter answered, “She didn’t give it to you, Mom. You had it when you went in!”
When we interact with others, our attitudes often set the tone for how we treat one another. Smile at people when you meet them, and they often smile back. Act combative, and they are likely to snap back at you. If you want to enjoy mostly pleasant interaction with people as you go through your day, treat others well. It works more often than not.
YOUR ATTITUDE CAN GIVE YOU A WINNER’S PERSPECTIVE
On June 28, 1939, Joe Louis defended his heavyweight boxing title against Tony “Two-Ton” Galento in Yankee Stadium. Galento wasn’t a particularly talented fighter, but he could take a punch and he was a big hitter. In the second round, Louis knocked Galento down and seemed to be controlling the fight. But in the third round, Galento knocked the champ down.
Louis immediately jumped back to his feet and went after his opponent. When Louis went to his corner, his trainer chastised him: “You know you’re supposed to take the full count when you go down. Why didn’t you stay down for nine?”
“What!” answered Louis, “and give him a chance to rest?” Louis pummeled Galento so badly in the fourth round that the referee stopped the fight.
In today’s competitive culture, everybody is looking for an edge. Top athletes and top businesspeople alike know that—all things being equal—attitude wins. But this is also true: All things not being equal, attitude sometimes still wins. Possessing a great attitude is like having a secret weapon.
All things being equal, attitude wins. All things not being equal, attitude sometimes still wins.
YOUR ATTITUDE—NOT YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS— GIVES YOU HAPPINESS
Samuel Johnson, the eighteenth-century poet and critic, stated, “He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove.” He understood that contentment was generated internally, based on attitude.
The thoughts in your mind will always be more important than the things in your life. Fame and fortune are fleeting. The satisfaction that comes from achievement is momentary. The author of the Biblical book of Ecclesiastes observed, “He who loves silver will not be satisfied with silver; nor he who loves abundance, with increase.”5 You cannot buy or win happiness. You must choose it.
The thoughts in your mind will always be more important than the things in your life.
YOUR ATTITUDE IS CONTAGIOUS
While it’s true that you choose your attitude, you also need to keep in mind that the choices you make influence other people around you. In the Law of the Bad Apple in The 17 Indisputable Laws of Teamwork, I explain,
Several things on a team are not contagious. Talent. Experience. Willingness to practice. But you can be sure of one thing: Attitude is catching. When someone on the team is teachable and his humility is rewarded by improvement, others are more likely to display similar characteristics. When a leader is upbeat in the face of discouraging circumstances, others admire that quality and want to be like her. When a team member displays a strong work ethic and begins to have a positive impact, others imitate him. . . . People have a tendency to adopt the attitudes of those they spend time with—to pick up on their mind-set, beliefs, and approaches to challenges.6
One of my mentors, Fred Smith, once told me there are two kinds of people in any organization: polluters and purifiers. Polluters are like smokestacks, belching out dirty smoke all the time. They hate clear skies, and no matter how good it gets, they can find a way to make it gloomy. When the people around them in the organization “breathe” their toxins, they feel sicker and sicker. Purifiers, on the other hand, make everything around them better. It doesn’t matter what kind of rotten atmosphere they encounter. They take in the toxic words of polluters in the organization just as everyone else does, but they filter the words before passing them on. What goes in may be gloomy and negative, but when it comes back out, it’s fresh and clear.
When you spend time with others, do they walk away feeling better or worse? Do you clear the air, giving them a fresh perspective and positive encouragement? Or do they go away feeling gloomy? Watch how people respond to you, and you’ll know which kind of person you are.
The bottom line on attitude is that a good one helps to increase your possibilities. Pessimists usually get what they expect. So do optimists. Believing in yourself increases your chances of success. Looking for the positive in every situation helps you see opportunities that you would otherwise miss. Being positive with people prompts them to be positive with you—and individuals who interact well with others have a leg up on people who don’t. I can’t think of one legitimate criticism of positive thinking. It’s all good.
Making the Decision to Choose and Display the Right Attitudes Daily
I discovered the importance of attitude in 1964 when I was seventeen years old. My high school basketball coach, Don Neff, took me aside at the beginning of my senior season and told me that he wanted me to be captain of the team. I was excited, but I was also a little surprised, because I knew that my teammate John Thomas was a better player than I was. But then Coach Neff said something that explained it. “John,” he said, “you have the best attitude on the team, and it influences the other players.”
Just a few weeks later, I was named “Citizen of the Month” at my school. Why? Once again, it was because of my attitude. My teachers said they loved my attitude. Then it sank in. My attitude was making a difference in my life. And it was making an impact on the people around me. That’s when I made my attitude decision: I am going to keep a positive attitude and use it to influence others.
Many people in this world mistakenly believe their attitude is set. It has become such a habit for them that they believe it can’t be changed. They see it as one of the “cards” of life they’ve been dealt, such as height or a history of cancer in the family. But that’s not true. Your attitude is a choice. If you desire to make your day a masterpiece, then you need to have a great attitude. If it’s not good now, you need to change it. Make the decision. Here’s how:
Many people in this world mistakenly believe their attitude is set.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ATTITUDE
After my wife, Margaret, and I had been married for four or five years, we went to a conference for pastors where I had been asked to be one of the speakers. Margaret also agreed to do a breakout session for spouses. Speaking is not a passion for her as it is for me. She does a good job, but she doesn’t really enjoy it that much. I wanted to support her, so I attended her session. During the Q and A time, a woman stood up and asked, “Does John make you happy?”
I have to say, I was really looking forward to hearing Margaret’s answer. I’m an attentive husband, and I love Margaret dearly. What kind of praise would she lavish on me?
“Does John make me happy?” she considered. “No, he doesn’t.” I looked to see where the closest exit was. “The first two or three years we were married,” she continued, “I thought it was John’s job to make me happy. But he didn’t. He wasn’t mean to me or anything. He’s a good husband. But nobody can make another person happy. That was my job.”
As a young newlywed in her early twenties, she figured out something some people never learn. Each of us must take responsibility for our own attitude. If you want today to be a good day, you need to take charge of the way you look at it.
DECIDE TO CHANGE YOUR BAD ATTITUDE AREAS
I’ve read the Peanuts comic strip for years, and I’ve always been a big fan. I recall one strip in which Lucy announces, “Boy, do I feel crabby.”
Her little brother Linus, always anxious to relieve tension at home, responds, “Maybe I can be of help. Why don’t you just take my place here in front of the TV while I go and fix you a nice snack? Sometimes we all need a little pampering to help us feel better.” Then Linus brings her a sandwich, a few chocolate chip cookies, and some milk.
“Now is there anything else I can get you?” he asks. “Is there anything I haven’t thought of?”
“Yes, there’s one thing you haven’t thought of,” Lucy answers. And then she suddenly screams, “I don’t want to feel better!”
For the many years the late Charles Schulz drew Peanuts, that always seemed to be one of Lucy’s problems. She didn’t want to change in the areas where she had a bad attitude—and she had a lot of them!
Many people are like her. I mentioned that there are things in your life you cannot choose, such as your parents, where you were born, or your race. But your attitude is something you can change. And just about everybody has at least a few areas in their thinking that could use some help. If you want to have a better day, then you need to go after those areas.
THINK, ACT, TALK, AND CONDUCT YOURSELF LIKE THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BECOME
If you’ve been to any kind of class reunion ten or more years after graduation, then you’ve probably been surprised by the transformation of one of your former classmates—the misfit who became a famous lawyer, the plain Jane who blossomed into a movie star, or the geek who founded a major corporation. How do such transformations occur? Those people changed how they thought of themselves. You saw them as they were (or how you thought they were). They saw themselves as they could be. Then they learned to act like and acquire the skills of the people they wanted to be. The transformation usually takes time; often it’s barely noticeable to those who see them every day (just as parents don’t see changes in babies the way others do). But to someone who hasn’t seen them in ten, twenty, or thirty years, the transformation seems miraculous, like a butterfly from a caterpillar.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
—WALT EMERSON
If you desire to change yourself, then start with your mind. Believe you can improve, that you can change into the person you desire to be. Walt Emerson said, “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” If your thinking changes, then everything else can follow.
PLACE A HIGH VALUE ON PEOPLE
One of the secrets of maintaining a good attitude is valuing people. You can’t dislike people and have a good attitude at the same time. Think about it: Have you ever met anyone who always treated people badly but had a positive attitude? Likewise, you cannot have a bad attitude and encourage others at the same time. Encouraging others means helping people, looking for the best in them, and trying to bring out their positive qualities. That process drives negative thoughts right out of your head.
You cannot have a bad attitude and encourage others at the same time.
Your interaction with others sets the tone of your day. It’s like the music of your life. When your interaction with others is poor, it’s like having to listen to cacophonous music. But when you place a high value on people and you treat them well, it’s like listening to a sweet melody as you go through your day.
DEVELOP A HIGH APPRECIATION FOR LIFE
Have you ever known people who complain about everything? Their soup’s too hot. Their bed’s too cold. Their vacation’s too short. Their pay’s too low. You sit side by side with them at a magnificent banquet, and while you enjoy every morsel, they tell you what’s wrong with each and every dish. Such people don’t appreciate life no matter how good it gets.
A friend e-mailed to me the story of a very “together” and independent ninety-two-year-old lady who was moving into a nursing home. Since she was legally blind and her husband of seventy years had passed away, the move was her only option. She waited in the lobby of the facility for a long time before finally being told that her room was ready. As she was escorted down the corridor, her attendant described the room, down to the curtains hung on the windows.
“I love it,” the elderly lady enthused.
“But you haven’t even seen the room yet. Just wait,” the attendant responded.
“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged. It’s how I arrange my mind.”
Appreciation isn’t a matter of taste or sophistication. It’s a matter of perspective. John Wooden said, “Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.” The place to start is with the little things. If you can learn to appreciate them and be grateful for them, you’ll appreciate the big things as well as everything in between.
“Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out.”
—JOHN WOODEN
Managing the Disciplines of Attitude
If you want to benefit from the possibilities of a positive attitude, you need to do more than just make the decision to be positive. You also have to manage that decision. For me, in the area of attitude it means one thing: Every day I will make the adjustments necessary to keep my attitude right. If this is new territory for you, you may be wondering how to do it. Here are some guidelines to help you on your way:
RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR ATTITUDE NEEDS DAILY ADJUSTMENT
I’ve discovered that a person’s attitude does not naturally or easily stay positive. For example, a lifelong attitude weakness I’ve had is my impatience with people. It was a problem even back when I was young. In school, when the teacher set aside a day to review before the final exam, I got dirty looks when I asked, “If we got it the first time, do we still have to come for the review?” And I still fight impatience. Every day I ask myself, “Have I been impatient with someone?” When I have, I apologize to the person. I’ve had to do that more times than I’d like to admit.
Like any discipline, your attitude will not take care of itself. That’s why it needs to be attended to daily. The stronger your natural inclination to be pessimistic or critical, the more attention your attitude will need. Begin each day with an attitude check. And watch for red flags signaling that your attitude might be in trouble.
Like any discipline, your attitude will not take care of itself. You need to attend to it daily.
FIND SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERYTHING
Not long ago I came across a prayer that I thought was wonderful. It said,
Dear Lord,
So far today, I am doing all right. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, cursed, or eaten any chocolate.
However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes, and I will need a lot more help after that. Amen.
It may not always be easy, but if you try hard enough, you can find something good, even in the midst of difficult situations. In Laugh Again, my friend Chuck Swindoll explains that when Mother Teresa was asked the requirements for people assisting in her work with the destitute in Calcutta, she cited two things: the desire to work hard and a joyful attitude. If someone could be expected to be joyful among the dying and the poorest of the poor, then certainly we can do the same in our situation.
FIND SOMEONE POSITIVE IN EVERY SITUATION
Nothing helps a person to remain positive like having an ally. The world is filled with negative people; in fact, they often flock together. But positive people are everywhere too. You’ll often find them soaring above the negative people—like eagles. When you do, seek them out. If you’re having a hard time, get close and “draft” behind them the way racers do. If they’re having difficulty, you be the one to go out front and make things easier. Two positive people are much better at fighting off the blues than someone going it alone.
SAY SOMETHING POSITIVE IN EVERY CONVERSATION
I’ve tried to make it a habit to include positive comments in every conversation with others. It starts with those closest to me. When my wife looks beautiful (which is often!) I tell her so. I compliment my children every time I see them. And I absolutely pour out positive praise every time I see my grandchildren. But I don’t stop there. I sincerely compliment, praise, acknowledge, bolster, raise up, and reward people whenever I can. It’s wonderful for me as well as for others. I highly recommend it, and I know you can learn to do it too.
REMOVE NEGATIVE WORDS FROM YOUR VOCABULARY
My father retired in his mid-seventies, but he has spent his entire life in public speaking. He came from a modest background, so he was always working hard to learn and grow. When I was a kid, he used to pay my brother, Larry, and me ten cents for every grammar mistake we found him making when he was preaching. It was just one example of how he was constantly trying to improve himself. (I suspect he also did it so that we would learn more about grammar ourselves.)
You can do a similar kind of thing when it comes to your attitude. You—or someone you enlist—can be on the lookout for negative words in your vocabulary so that you can try to eliminate them. Here’s a list to get you started:
| Eliminate These Words | Say These Instead |
| I can’t | I can |
| If only | I will |
| I don’t think | I know |
| I don’t have the time | I will make the time |
| Maybe | Absolutely |
| I’m afraid | I’m confident |
| I don’t believe | I’m sure |
If you continually look for and embrace the positive and eliminate the negative, you’ll help yourself to begin thinking more positively every day.
EXPRESS GRATITUDE TO OTHERS DAILY
Of all the virtues, gratitude seems to be the least expressed. How often do people go out of their way to thank you? How often do you receive a thank-you note when you give a gift? More important, how often do you extend your thanks to others? In our culture of plenty, we tend to take things for granted.
A few years ago, Oprah Winfrey encouraged her millions of TV viewers to keep a gratitude journal to help them appreciate life. Amy Vanderbilt, journalist and etiquette book author, said, “When we learn to give thanks, we are learning to concentrate not on the bad things, but on the good things in our lives.” Thinking about the good things helps us to be grateful. Remaining grateful helps us to have a more positive attitude. And having a positive attitude prompts us to think about the good rather than the bad. It’s a positive cycle that helps to fuel itself.
Reflecting on Attitude
When I made the decision at age seventeen to maintain a positive attitude, I did it because it was giving me immediate positive results. And that is what usually prompts us to make decisions. But as you get older and reflect more, you can see things much more clearly.
Looking back, I can see the impact that my attitude has made in my life since 1964:
In my teens . . . My attitude made me captain of the basketball team.
In my 20s . . . My attitude helped me convince Margaret to marry me.
In my 30s . . . My attitude helped me step out of my comfort zone by leaving my organization and taking a new position in California.
In my 40s . . . My attitude kept me going during eight years of red tape and conflict while trying to build a new campus for my church.
In my 50s . . . My attitude allowed me to bounce back from a heart attack.
I can honestly say that for forty years, my attitude has been my greatest asset in influencing others. And as I approach my sixties, my attitude has motivated me to lead an effort to train and equip one million leaders internationally. I want to keep making a positive impact until the day I die.
Always Against the Odds
When you make the decision to have a positive attitude and then manage that decision well, there’s almost nothing you can’t accomplish. Just ask Lance Armstrong. In 1999 he became the second American cyclist to ever win the Tour de France, professional cycling’s most prestigious event. (Cyclists pedal over two thousand miles in a grueling three-week race.) When Armstrong won, a journalist asked his mother, Linda, who was waiting for him at the finish line in Paris, whether his victory was against the odds. Her response was emphatic: “Lance’s whole life has been against all odds.”7
Lance Armstrong had several things working against him growing up. His mother was only seventeen when Lance was born, and she spent much of the time raising him as a single parent. They often struggled financially. And Lance often felt like an outsider. In Texas, the big sport is football. Armstrong says he was too uncoordinated for any sport with a ball, so he gravitated to activities that required endurance. In fifth grade, he ran in a distance race and won. Soon afterward, he joined a swim team. In a year, he went from being a “remedial” case to fourth best swimmer in Texas in the 1500-meter freestyle. Every day he would swim 4,000 meters before school and then return in the afternoon to swim an additional 6,000 meters. Soon he began riding his bike to practice—twenty miles round-trip.
At thirteen, he entered a competition called IronKids. It was a junior triathlon, combining swimming, biking, and running. He won it easily. When he was fifteen, he started competing against men. He came in thirty-second in his first race. After the race, he told a reporter, “I think in a few years I’ll be right near the top, and within ten years I’ll be the best.”8 Armstrong, always seen as a misfit, was mocked by his friends, who laughed and thought he was ridiculously cocky. The next year when he finished fifth in that same race, they stopped laughing. By the time he was sixteen, he was earning $20,000 a year entering and winning triathlons and 10K races around the country. He also got his first taste of bicycle racing. He was so good at it that he quickly jumped to the most competitive category and began training with the best local cyclists.
Over time, Armstrong began to focus entirely on cycling. He experienced success in the United States, but he wanted to ride in Europe, where the best athletes competed. His first professional race, the Clasica San Sebastian, was memorable. It was a bitterly cold day with pouring rain. He finished dead last, a full twenty-seven minutes behind the winner—a terrible finish. The Spanish crowd lining the course jeered him. He recalled his humiliation:
A few hours later, I sat in the Madrid airport, slumped in a chair. I wanted to quit the entire sport. It was the most sobering race of my life; on my way to San Sebastian, I had actually thought I had a chance of winning, and now I wondered if I could compete at all. They had laughed at me. . . . I pulled a sheaf of unused plane tickets out of my pocket. Among them, I had a return portion to the States. I considered using it. Maybe I should just go home, I thought, and find something else to do, something I was good at.9
What carried him through was natural ability, a fiery competitive nature, and an incredibly positive attitude. The words of his mother were constantly in the back of his mind: “Make an obstacle an opportunity. Make a negative a positive. If you can’t give 100 percent, you won’t make it. Never quit!”
A SHARP CURVE IN THE ROAD
In 1996 at age twenty-five, Armstrong was the top-rated cyclist in the world. It looked as though he had finally made it. He was making a good living. He was at the top of his form. And he was winning races against the best in Europe. But then he started experiencing intense pain in his groin and coughing up blood. When he saw a doctor, he found out he had testicular cancer. But the news kept getting worse: The cancer had spread, it was pervasive in his lungs, and his prognosis was grim. Through all that, he kept his positive attitude, his fighting spirit. But then they found cancer in his brain.
“I met a wall,” Armstrong says. “Much as I wanted to be positive and unafraid, all I knew was, when people get brain tumors, they don’t live.”10
Armstrong underwent brain surgery and a procedure to remove his cancerous testicle. Then he started the excruciating process of chemotherapy. Doctors told Armstrong he had a 50 percent chance of surviving. After he finished his treatment and his recovery seemed certain, one doctor admitted that his case was the worst the doctor had ever seen, and he had really given Armstrong only a 3 percent chance of living.
Through it all, Armstrong managed his attitude so that he would remain positive. He believes that “hope is the only antidote to fear.”11 When asked if the rigors of cancer treatment had depressed him, Armstrong said no, explaining, “I thought being depressed would be detrimental. . . . I have to say it was a very positive time in my life.”12
“Hope is the only antidote to fear.”
—LANCE ARMSTRONG
POSITIVE COMEBACK
Surviving cancer with a positive attitude intact is quite an accomplishment. But Armstrong wanted something more. He wanted to start racing again. He had some difficult moments during his comeback. At one point he actually quit in the middle of a race—something he had never done before. “In the start area, I sat in a car trying to keep warm and thought about how much I didn’t want to be there,” says Armstrong. “When you start out thinking that way, things can’t possibly get any better. Once I got out in the cold, my attitude just deteriorated.”13 But he came back from that setback. And he went on to win not one but five consecutive Tour de France races!
Armstrong knows what a great asset a positive attitude is. He commented,
Without belief, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, every single day. And it will beat you. I didn’t fully see, until the cancer, how we fight every day against the creeping negatives of the world, how we struggle daily against the slow lapping of cynicism. Dispiritedness and disappointment, these were the real perils of life, not some sudden illness or cataclysmic millennium doomsday.14
After winning his first Tour de France in 1999, Armstrong spoke to reporters and wanted them to pass along this piece of advice to their readers: “I would just like to say one thing. If you ever get a second chance in life for something, you’ve got to go all the way.”15 I want to pass that same advice along to you. If your attitude hasn’t been good in the past, you’ve got a second chance. You can change it. You can choose a good attitude and manage it daily. When you do that, a whole new world of possibilities opens up to you.
ATTITUDE APPLICATION AND EXERCISES CHOOSING AND DISPLAYING THE RIGHT ATTITUDES DAILY
Your Attitude Decision Today
Where do you stand when it comes to your attitude today? Ask yourself these three questions:
1. Have I already made the decision to choose and display the right attitude daily?
2. If so, when did I make that decision?
3. What exactly did I decide? (Write it here.)
Your Attitude Discipline Every Day
Based on the decision you made concerning attitude, what is the one discipline you must practice today and every day in order to be successful? Write it here.
Making Up for Yesterday
If you need some help making the right decision concerning attitude and developing the everyday discipline to live it out, do the following exercises:
1. Think about all the factors that have contributed to your attitude. Make a list of them here:
Now forget about them. What happens to you is largely outside your control. But what happens in you is totally your choice. Your response is what matters. Make a commitment to yourself that you will take entire responsibility for your current attitude and that you will choose to be positive—no matter what.
2. Begin working on your bad attitude areas. Make a list of your negative thoughts or habits:
Now, next to each item, write the positive response or opposite characteristic to that thought. For example, if you wrote that you believe people want to take advantage of you, then write the word “trust” next to it. You can use this list to help you conquer your attitude breakdowns.
3. Every day, choose one of the positive attitude characteristics from one of your lists (the bad attitude list or the positive qualities list). As you go through your day, make it your objective to exhibit that positive quality. You may even want to give yourself a goal of the number of times to do it. Repeat this process until your attitude becomes what you desire it to be.
4. One of the best ways to remain positive is to express gratitude and appreciation. Find at least one opportunity every day to tell someone how grateful you are.
5. Every week, place an attitude quote or a positive saying where you will see it several times a day: on your bathroom mirror, next to your computer at work, in your day planner, etc.
6. Set the tone for your day by treating people better than you expect to be treated by them. Be the first to smile. Express your appreciation for them. Expect the best out of them. If you act first, you will set yourself up for success.
7. If you find yourself falling back into old negative patterns of thought or action, then make an appointment with yourself midway through the day to check on your attitude. Make an assessment, and if your attitude is not up to par, make an adjustment. The sooner you do it, the better off you’ll be.
Looking Forward to Tomorrow
Spend some time reflecting on how your decision concerning attitude and the daily discipline that comes out of it will positively impact you in the future. What will be the compounding benefits? Write it here.
Keep what you’ve written as a constant reminder, because . . .
Reflection today motivates your discipline every day, and
Discipline every day maximizes your decision of yesterday.