Herding, roping, branding . . . how did cowboys find the time to come up with such great jokes?
One day while he was building a barn, the cowboy lost his favorite book. A week later, one of his horses came up to him holding the book in its mouth. The cowboy was stunned. He took the book from the horse and said, “It’s a miracle!”
“Not exactly,” said the horse. “Your name is written inside.”
Back in the Wild West, three cowboys were about to be hanged for stealing cattle. The lynch mob brought them to the bank of a nearby river and planned to string them up from a branch over the water. That way, when the men died, they’d just drop into the river and float away. The mob put the noose around the first cowboy’s neck, but he was so sweaty that he slipped right out, fell into the water, and swam away. When the mob strung up the second cowboy, he also slipped out of the noose and got away. As they pulled the third man toward the noose, he was hesitant, and said “Hey! Would you tighten that noose? I can’t swim!”
1.Don’t squat with your spurs on.
2.Don’t interfere with something that isn’t bothering you.
3.If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
4.Never drink downstream from the herd.
5.Telling a man to get lost and making him do it are two different things.
6.When you give an animal a lesson in meanness, don’t be surprised if he learns the lesson.
7.When you ride ahead of the herd, look back once in a while to make sure it’s still there.
8.Easiest way to double your money: fold it in two and put it in your pocket.
9.If you start feeling like you’re a man with some influence, try ordering around another man’s horse.
10.Never miss the opportunity to keep your mouth shut.