-CHAPTER 3-

I Really Want to Lose Three Pounds

Now you have come to the part of the book that we needed to include because of that obesity problem in America. Plus, you probably look like a total bushpig after going overboard with Regina’s All-Carb Diet. It’s time to get serious and drop the extra pounds. No need to run to the bathroom and make yourself barf

(but if you do, say hi to Danny DeVito). Instead we are opting for a healthier way to get rid of the blubs.

The recipes in this chapter (jingle bell) rock! We would not disappoint you, even when it comes to the food you wouldn’t wish upon a nasty army of skanks. In here, you’ll find an awesome recipe for healthy-enough overnight oats (that are very grool) and a detox smoothie that will make you lose weight so quick that you will be running back to 1-3-5 for a smaller size.

For faster results, try combining these with a good amount of cardio, like swimming maybe? The swim team meets in the projection room above the auditorium for practice every week, if you’re interested.

So, good luck with your new diets, bitches, and remember there’s no gym for your face!