Why Are You White? Russian

There is a 30 percent chance you will get drunk.

SERVES 1

Africa, Russia: same continent? No? Same difference. You still can’t ask why it’s white. (The cream, duh.) This may feel like a crotchety old cocktail you’d find at T.J. Calamity’s, but it’s basically an alcoholic chocolate milk fit for a Queen Bee. Trust us. Or you can walk home bitches.

WHAT YA NEED

Ice

2 ounces vodka (any brand)

2 ounces Kahlúa

3 ounces heavy cream or whole milk

A lot of balls to ask such a question

MAKE IT

This is a one-dump drink. Fill a glass with ice and dump the ingredients in. Stir and drink up.