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Carrie was certain she was dreaming, but couldn’t seem to wake up enough to stop the parade of images in her head. She was driving the car, just as she had in reality, but things were different in the dream. In addition to her parents in the backseat, her grandmother was in the passenger side, and Penny was squeezed between her parents.
She was driving the same sedan she had driven during the accident, but the dream had distorted it and allowed more room in the back. There was a third row of seats, and her best friend from high school, along with her second boyfriend from college, sat together talking, though they had never known each other in real life.
Unlike reality, Carrie was driving recklessly and laughing hysterically as she swerved around the road in her dream. She clutched the steering wheel tighter, trying to wake up, but unable to stop the progression of events in the dream world as the tire drifted off the road, sending them plunging over a cliff. Carrie’s maniacal laugh was still ringing in her ears as the car slammed into the landscape before bursting into flames.
She woke with a scream trapped in her throat, and her heart racing in her ears. At first, she thought she was pinned, having been caught in debris from the accident, before reality slowly returned. The only thing pinning her was DVS’s weight as his body sprawled across hers. Her eyes opened fully, and she was aware enough to realize he was leaning over her with an expression of concern. She just stared at him for a moment, unable to summon the ability to speak.
“Are you all right? Your heart rate has risen considerably. Are you ill?”
“I watched them all die. I killed them and laughed while I did it.”
He blinked, clearly startled by her words. “You killed someone?” He sounded dubious.
After a moment, Carrie let out a shaky breath before drawing in another and repeating the process. Finally, when some of her calm had been restored, she let out a final breath before speaking. “No, I didn’t kill anyone. It was my dream. I was driving a car, and it was full of everyone I love and have lost, including Penny. I know I haven’t lost her, but I’m sure the fear of doing so is what spurred the dream. It had a dose of reality too.”
He was still frowning, and his weight still pressed her into the bed, but it was soothing rather than confining. “Tell me about your dream.” He phrased it like a command, as though she would instantly comply.
Maybe she should have resented the tone, but she was still feeling shaky. “My grandmother was in the passenger seat, my parents were in the back with Penny between them, and my best friend from high school and ex-boyfriend were in the very back. They’re all gone, except Penny. I had nothing to do with any of their deaths, though marginally my parents.”
His skepticism was obvious. “You were implicated in the death of your parents?”
She let out a shaky laugh, but immediately stopped as she recalled the maniacal sound that had issued from the dream version of her. It was still enough to send chills down her spine.
“No, of course not. I was the one driving during the accident though. I was taking them to the airport, because they were going on their second honeymoon. It was the summer before my sophomore year of college, and I was supposed to be dropping them off, so they were both riding in the backseat. It had rained heavily, but we thought everything was clear, so they didn’t want to delay their trip. The tires hydroplaned, I lost control, and we slammed into a telephone pole. My father died instantly, and my mother passed away a few hours later in the hospital. Of course I still feel some guilt from that, and I miss them every day, but I also know it was an accident. I definitely had nothing to do with my grandmother’s death, or my friend’s or boyfriend’s. Grandmother had a stroke when I was thirteen, but we had been very close.”
“And the others?”
“Shelley died from an aneurysm during a swim meet. No one had known about its existence until it burst, and she bled out before she could be saved. We were seventeen.” She maintained an aloof quality to her voice as she recounted the experiences, not willing to be sucked back into the paralyzing grief that had gripped her in the wake of losing the people she had loved.
“And the boyfriend?”
Was she imagining a hint of jealousy in his tone? Surely it was just projection from her wishful thinking. “Gary was an addict, though I didn’t know that until he died from an overdose. He kept it well hidden. We were semi-serious, and we had talked about our future, but he wasn’t the love of my life. I still miss him though.”
He sounded gruff when he spoke. “I miss my family as well. They’ve been gone for many years now, and I hadn’t seen them since I was turned into a cyborg, but there’s still a sense of loss despite many of my memories being erased during the conversion process.”
She nodded as her gaze caught his, and the moment of empathy lengthened. She wasn’t certain who reached for the other first, but suddenly her arms were around his neck, and his arms held her tightly against his chest. It started out as a hug of comfort, but quickly escalated to something more. When his mouth slanted over hers, staking a claim in an almost punishing fashion, she didn’t resist or try to pull away. She had no desire to do anything except curl closer, soften her lips, and part them to allow his questing tongue inside.
His hands roamed over her back, pressing her closer as one hand moved higher to bury in her hair. He grasped a handful and tugged gently, pulling her head back to reveal her neck. His lips sought out the tender spot at the bend of her shoulder, and she moaned softly when he nipped the area.
Carrie let her hands wander where they wanted, stroking his skin, which felt exactly like she would expect. She wasn’t certain which parts were real, and which were synthetic, but she couldn’t discern a difference. Running her fingers over the luminescent veins, she discovered they weren’t raised, and they felt no different than other veins under his skin.
He was exotic, yet strangely mundane, just like her. The juxtaposition fueled her hunger, and she shifted position so she could sit on his lap. Locking her thighs around his waist, she clamped her arms around him and just held him for a moment as he continued sucking on her neck.
His mouth drifted lower, and she squeaked with surprise when he lifted her upward, holding her seemingly without any difficulty at all as he brought his mouth level with her breasts by holding her off his lap and simultaneously barely bending his head. Her small breasts were full and heavy with desire, and her nipples were hard buds of almost pain due to her excitement. She let out a shuddering moan when his mouth fastened around the first nipple, his tongue delicately probing the perimeter of the puffed bud before his mouth tightened, and he began to suck hard enough to make her moan and thrash against him.
His mouth moved to her other breast, and she clenched her fingers, nails digging into his shoulders as she arched her back and let her hair fall with careless abandon and tried to seek relief by arching her hips. There was nothing to provide stimulation, and she wanted him inside her.
At first, she was certain he’d read her mind when he abruptly flipped their position so she was lying on her back again. She parted her thighs and reached for him, hand groping for his cock as she planned to help guide him inside her. He proved elusive as his mouth moved farther down her body, tongue circling her abdomen before going lower.
Her arousal increased in anticipation, making her wetter than ever as his mouth settled over her folds, and his tongue plunged inside to taste her. It was like a spark of electricity shot through her, and she reached blindly for an anchor, grasping his head.
His short haircut allowed no purchase for her fingers, and the bristly texture tickled her palm, but it wasn’t enough to distract her from the pleasure coursing through her as his mouth moved over her in an exquisite choreography of movements that soon brought her to the edge of orgasm.
She thrust frantically against him, lifting her hips as she sought relief. He granted it with a sudden sharp thrust of his tongue deep inside her, which he wiggled in a way that sent shudders through her as her walls tightened around him, and she climaxed.
He let out a grunt, and it was difficult to tell if it was one of pleasure, pure male satisfaction, or even impatience to be inside her. She was too caught up in a wave of ecstasy to try to analyze its meaning. There was no need to anyway, because a moment later, he had shifted again so that he was sprawling atop her. This time, when she reached for his shaft, she found it easily at hand.
Carrie squeezed the length and girth of him, eyes widened at what she found. She’d seen him in the shower, but seeing hadn’t completely prepared her for the first touch and feel of his heavy length in her palm.
With a deep breath, she guided the head toward her opening, and as soon as his cock breached her, he slid fully inside. She let out a soft moan, temporarily torn between intense pleasure and a shock of pain at the rapid and sudden intrusion. As he withdrew and started thrusting again, any hint of pain faded away as her body accommodated him.
She strove to meet each of his thrusts with one of her own, trying to maintain the rhythm he set, though her post-orgasmic haze didn’t allow for much thought or focus. All she could do was cling tightly to him and allow instinct to guide her as their bodies joined together, his cock filling every inch of her and sending quivers of pleasure deep into her womb with each thrust.
He had amazing stamina and control, giving her two orgasms before he finally surrendered to his own. With a shout that was likely loud enough to be heard down the entire corridor, his shaft tightened inside her further before it spasmed, releasing splashes of his hot fluid inside her. He was definitely warmer than the last lover she recalled, but not unpleasantly so. Other than his faintly blue skin and luminescent veins, there was nothing to set him apart from an average man, except for his size and ability to maintain control.
Afterward, she curled against him and allowed the still rapid beat of his heart to lull her back to sleep. This time, there were no nightmares.
***
AFTER THE INTENSE EXPERIENCE of the night before, it was disheartening to wake alone and find his side of the bed appeared undisturbed. He must have left quite a while ago, because there was no imprint in the mattress or the pillow to show he had been there. With a sigh, she stretched and then winced at an unfamiliar strain between her legs. She hadn’t had a workout like that...well, ever. After spending the night with DVS, she was more convinced than ever that Freydon Rote had been right about the pairing between them.
She was also certain she couldn’t go on calling him DVS unless he insisted upon it. It felt too cold and impersonal after the night they had shared, and she made a mental note to ask about calling him Davis the next time she saw him.
As soon as she sprang out of bed and her feet touched the floor, she started to call Penny to go outside before remembering the events of the night before. That incited a sense of urgency in her preparations before leaving the quarters to go find her dog. She was worried about Penny, while equally excited about seeing the new arrivals. She couldn’t believe Penny was a mother.
The thought made her stumble for just a second, and she put a hand on her stomach as she recalled they hadn’t used any barriers last night, and she wasn’t on a chemical form of birth control.
Could cyborgs get pregnant, or impregnate their partner? That was a question she’d have to ask someone, though it seemed too embarrassing to ask the healer she barely knew, and she couldn’t quite muster the fortitude to even imagine how that conversation might go with Davis. It was silly that she couldn’t imagine talking to him about it after having spent the night in bed with him, and she firmed her lips as she decided to put on her big-girl panties and deal with it. She’d ask him the next time they were alone.
Matter resolved, she made her way to the medical center, finding it easily despite her reservations. She’d been distraught last night on the trip there and had been concerned she wouldn’t recall the path.
She hovered hesitantly at the doorway before knocking. A moment later, the door hissed as it opened, and she identified a cyborg on the other side. She didn’t know her name, but she’d seen her at dinner the last two nights.
With a smile, she asked, “Is it all right if I see Penny?” Even though she went through the motions of being polite and asking, she was already moving away from the cyborg, toward her dog, without awaiting permission. It would have to be a true emergency to keep her from seeing Penny.
She grinned when she saw the dog, who was ensconced in a clear plastic-looking drawer that she speculated had come from a storage container. It was filled with soft bedding, and Penny wagged her tail effusively as she approached.
Carrie knelt down on the floor, getting on her knees so she could pet the dog, who offered her kisses. “Who’s a good girl? Good job, Penny. Your babies are beautiful.”
They certainly looked much better this morning, after being cleaned and having time to recover. Most of them were nursing, though two had curled into a ball nearby and were sleeping. She stroked a finger down one of their soft foreheads, marveling at Penny’s amazing and unexpected entry into motherhood.
OWN approached, standing behind her. After a moment, he crouched down to be closer to her level alongside the dog. “She’s doing well. She lost more blood than anticipated, but I programed the computer to synthesize synthetic blood based on a sample of her existing supply, and she’s much perkier after an infusion.”
His words amazed her, but she didn’t focus on the medical aspects. Instead, she sent him a grateful smile before returning her attention to Penny and the babies. “Thank you so much for rescuing her. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her, Owen.” She waited for him to refuse the moniker, but hoped he wouldn’t. After he had saved Penny, she didn’t feel right addressing him in such a distant fashion, unless that was his preference.
He ignored it as he said, “According to my data, dogs live a severely shortened life span compared to humans. If you can’t live without her, why would you choose to adopt her while knowing she won’t survive as long as you?”
“Companionship, and the need to share my life with someone. Even knowing the loss is coming doesn’t keep you from enjoying the time you have, or loving them wholeheartedly.”
“I see.” He didn’t sound like he fully understood, but he didn’t press for more explanation. “With our technology, it’s quite possible to keep your Penny alive well past her normal lifespan.”
Carrie wasn’t certain whether she should be pleased by the thought or a little unsettled by it. Eventually, she decided she could be both. The idea of a cybernetic dog, which was what she inferred from his words, was strange, but it was also comforting to know that she wouldn’t have to lose Penny in the next decade if she chose to avail herself of their technology. “I wonder how she’ll look with that blue glow.”
Owen surprised her by laughing. “At least you’ll be able to find her when she goes outside in the dark to do her business.”
He said the phrase awkwardly, which made her lips twitch. She suspected he had heard the phrase from Raven, since she hadn’t uttered it in his presence. That reminded her to inquire about Penny’s current state. “Does she need to go for a walk or go outside to do her business?”
Owen shook his head. “I prefer she rest for at least today. NKI will deal with any unpleasant side effects of doing so.”
She shot a glance at the other cyborg, who had hovered nearby, but hadn’t stepped closer. Carrie gave her a tentative smile, hoping the woman didn’t mind the duty. Or would that be doody duty? She giggled at the silly thought before forcing her expression to a more serious one when NKI frowned at her. “Thank you for taking care of Penny.”
“It’s my pleasure,” said the cyborg, clearly unfeigned warmth in her tone. “I’ve never seen anything like her before. Her babies are amazing. It gives me a funny feeling in my chest.”
“Do you require diagnostics?” asked Owen.
Carrie giggled again. “I think it’s probably her maternal instincts fluttering to life. I’m feeling the same way just looking at these little fluff balls.” That reminded her of her earlier thoughts, and it seemed like a good time to ask. “Do cyborgs have babies?”
“It’s possible,” said Owen. “It’s dependent on how much of the original physiology remains. If the injuries were too severe to retain the womb, then a female cyborg would be infertile.”
“Do you have any cyborg babies?”
Owen shook his head. “We maintain careful control of our population to ensure we have adequate resources, while also having the necessary numbers to fight the humans and synths. No one breeds. It’s not a proper environment in which to raise a child.”
The thought made her sad, and she distracted herself by looking at Penny again, who was nuzzling one of her babies. “I guess you didn’t get the memo, girl.” Seeing her dog with the puppies made her glad Penny hadn’t gotten that message. The arrival of the puppies gave her something to focus on besides all the questions plaguing her, and perhaps they held the key to a future with more dogs.
She had yet to see any evidence of domesticated animals or pets of any sort, so perhaps Penny would bring dogs back from extinction. If they could synthesize dog blood, perhaps they could synthesize dog semen to allow Penny to have a few more litters, along with offering her pups a similar chance. She liked the idea of the cyborg base filled with the pitter patter of paws, since having human or cyborg babies was clearly not allowed.
***
AFTER SPENDING TIME with Penny, she left the medical center when Raven found her, accompanying her friend for breakfast before they returned to the spot by the tree that Raven had shown her yesterday. As she had expected, cyborgs trickled in, sometimes in pairs, but most often solo, and started crocheting.
She was definitely going to have to find a source for more yarn, or else insist everyone unravel their project when they finished for the day. She had enough supplies not to worry about doing so just yet, but it was another thing to mention to Davis.
Abruptly, she remembered where he was, and what his mission had been today. They were going after the manufacturing facility that created the synthetics, hoping to cripple the enemy, or at least reduce its numbers significantly.
She couldn’t believe it had slipped her mind, though she supposed it was understandable in light of the night they had spent together, along with checking on Penny and then instructing her new students in the art of crochet. She tried not to let fear overwhelm her, but the afternoon took on an agonizing slowness as the minutes ticked past, and she was hyperaware of how sluggishly time seemed to move until it was finally time for dinner.
She followed Raven into the mess hall, holding her breath as she waited to see if Davis was present. Her breath left her in a little whoosh of air as relief filled her at the sight of him. He sat in his usual chair, and there was a space beside him that she moved toward after a parting to Raven. As she got closer, she saw he had brighter patches of skin in some places, and she stroked them without thought as she sat down beside him. “What happened?”
“I was injured and required a skin graft. The new skin will settle in and quickly resemble the old.”
She eyed his chest and arm, which were extensively covered with the patches of new skin. “You must have been injured pretty badly. Is everyone okay?”
He nodded. “We had no casualties, and our mission was successful. We also gained information about the location of other facilities before destroying it. It was a good day.”
She smiled, though she was still concerned about his injuries. Without thinking, she stroked another spot on his arm, and then frowned when he jerked away. She cast a glance around them, reminding herself they were in the presence of his underlings, and public displays of affection might embarrass him, or perhaps even undermine his authority.
It didn’t ring true, but she decided to cling to that explanation as those around her started to eat. She listened to them talk strategy, and her concern for him and the others only grew. She wished she could insist that they stay safely at base, but it wasn’t her call, and it was probably impractical anyway. She understood the necessity of removing as many manufacturing facilities as possible, but that didn’t mean she had to like the idea of her mate risking himself to do so.
She froze as the thought filtered through her brain, hand hovering in midair to bring the spoon to her mouth. She looked over when Jason nudged her with his shoulder. “What?”
“You look as though someone has struck you. Are you injured?”
Carrie managed a small smile and lowered her spoon back to the tray. “No, I’m fine. I just remembered something. I left the gas oven on.”
He frowned. “We don’t have a gas oven.”
She arched a brow. “You know what it is?”
He nodded. “A primitive cooking device that runs on a derivative of gas obtained from the earth.”
She nodded. “I just realized I left my oven on. I was baking chocolate chip cookies.” That was true, though that hadn’t been the cause of her reaction. Briefly, she worried about her house, though it had long ago been destroyed—if not by an oven explosion, then by time slowly decaying the building materials.
A pang of melancholy shot through her as she recalled once again everyone she’d ever known was now dead. If she couldn’t make a life here, she would be alone as well. It was a daunting prospect, and she wanted to reach out for comfort, to wrap her hand in Davis’s, but she restrained the urge. Recalling the way he had pulled away from her while ago kept her hand on her thigh and her sudden misery locked inside.
***
THEY WERE BOTH IN HIS bed, but they might as well be on opposite sides of the galaxy for the distance he was keeping between them. He had deliberately turned away from her when they’d lain down, and the one time she had dared scoot closer, he had pointedly shifted the other way. Carrie was hurt and confused by his withdrawal, especially after they had become lovers the previous night. Though she wanted to ask him about it, she was feeling too emotionally raw and was certain she would weep all over him if she even broached the subject.
Just lying there in the silence, stewing over his aloofness, was enough to bring tears to her eyes, which rapidly flowed down her cheeks. She tried to be quiet as she cried, but she was certain he could hear her. She wanted to stifle her emotions, but she felt too vulnerable to do so. It had been a rough few days, and it was cathartic to cry.
With what sounded like an impatient sigh, he suddenly turned over in the bed, and a moment later, his arm was around her waist as he pulled her back against his chest. His voice rumbled through his chest and into her back when he spoke. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Everything. You wouldn’t understand.” The words emerged with a distinct wail-like quality that she disliked, but couldn’t curb.
He sighed again, the same sound of exasperation that set her nerves on edge and had her gritting her teeth. It was just too bad if the cyborg general wasn’t used to dealing with people who displayed their emotions openly.
That was unfair to the cyborgs she had met though, and she knew it. They had the same emotions she did, but they clearly had better control. Of course, none of them had been through quite what she had experienced in the past few days, so he could just cut her some slack.
“How will I fix what’s wrong if you don’t tell me what it is?”
“There’s nothing to fix. I’m just sad. I miss home, and I’m worried about Penny, and...” She trailed off, not wanting to verbalize the main source of her negative emotions.
“And?”
“I hate how you’ve pushed me away after we were so close last night. It’s obvious you regret what happened, and that’s your right. But you don’t have to make me feel like a pariah in the process.”
He let out another sigh, though this one sounded less exasperated and more fatigued. “I’ve pushed you away because it doesn’t seem advisable to have a relationship between us. There are many differences, and the danger is ever-present.”
She sniffled before speaking, though her voice was still thick with tears. “Will I be any safer not as your mate? If the robots find us, are they likely to spare me if I’m not with you?”
He hesitated for a moment. “I can’t answer that for certain. They’re loyal to the humans, so they should spare you. If they discover you’re my mate, they might destroy you. Even if the synthetics don’t, the humans are likely to order it to hurt me.”
She shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t care. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. I don’t feel any loyalty to the humans who have done this to all of you. It wouldn’t take them long to discover that, even if they wanted to give me a chance. I’d rather have what little time we might have together being together. I’d choose that over having the next fifty years being safe, but without you. I’ve made my choice, but I can’t do anything until you make yours. Then I’ll either have to accept it and move on, or we’ll have to see about becoming a couple.”
He stiffened slightly. “That’s what you want?”
“How can you doubt that after last night?”
He didn’t directly answer her question when he replied, “Sex has always been about physical release for me, at least until last night. I’m having difficulty processing my emotional fluctuations. The entire situation is disconcerting to me.”
His words made her sniffle again as hope flared to life. “It was kind of the same for me. I’ve never slept with someone for whom I didn’t care at least somewhat, but it was never as intense as last night. It frightens me how quickly I’m getting close to you, especially knowing I could lose you the next time you leave the base, or if the synthetics find our location here. The idea of losing you terrifies me.”
He let out a soft laugh. “Perhaps Freydon Rote wasn’t as mistaken as I believed. MX still thinks you’re somehow involved in the plot that will allow the synthetics to conquer us, but I’ve never believed that. I was distrustful of Rote’s intentions, but intrigued by the possibility of winning the war. It’s only recently that I realized that while he might not have brought me a means to end the hostility, he’s given me something far more valuable.”
Her heart skipped a beat in her chest as she slowly turned in his arms before plastering herself to his chest again, arms twining around his shoulders to wrap around him tightly. “What’s that?”
“My mate,” he growled with a hint of possessiveness as his arms closed more tightly and firmly around her, bringing her so close to his body that she could barely tell where her skin ended and his began.
They were soon kissing and caressing, and when he surged inside her a few minutes later, it was both physically and emotionally satisfying well before she even approached a climax. Just being joined with him felt right and was a simple pleasure on its own. It couldn’t compare to the brief, intense rush of pleasure that accompanied her orgasm, but that was different, leaving her feeling not only physically replete, but emotionally content as well when she curled into his arms and went to sleep a short time later.
***
DVS—DAVIS AS HE TRIED out in his head, since she had called it out in his ear more than once during the past hour—marveled at the feel of the human woman cradled in his arms, with her soft curves conforming to his hard body. The sex had been a strange mix of tender and frantic, leading him to the conclusion that he would never get enough of her.
The thought alarmed him slightly, but it was purely from the fear of losing her now that he’d found her. He was surprisingly unafraid of the intensity of the emotions he felt for Carrie. The abrupt realization that he never would have known her had it not been for Rote’s interference caused his heart to squeeze painfully in his chest, and his arms tightened around her. He had to practically be crushing her for a moment, but the sound that escaped her was one of contentment rather than protest as she simply snuggled closer, nuzzling against his neck where her face pressed against his skin.
For a moment, he was moved to wake her and indulge in her body again, but as soft snores escaped her slightly parted lips, he reined in the impulse. As much as he wanted her, he also wanted to take care of her. There would be plenty of time for lovemaking, or so he told himself, because he needed to cling to optimism to embrace the emotions rocketing through him.
He couldn’t fully accept everything she represented if he held back from the fear of losing her. Fear was a rarely-felt emotion, and had never related to a bed partner before. Normally, fear was a weakness that he ruthlessly excised, needing to keep it firmly in check to do what must be done. With Carrie, like so many other things, it was different.
Rather than weaken him, the fear of losing her made him feel stronger and more determined to protect her and keep her as long as possible. With the technology they had, thanks to OWN’s research into rapid healing, it wasn’t outside the bounds of possibility that they could have centuries together, as long as he kept her safe.
His arms tightened around her once more, and he vowed to himself that he would do whatever was necessary to keep her out of harm’s way and away from the humans, who would rip her away from him if given the chance. They might be her kind, but she was better off with the cyborgs than those creatures.