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When JSN entered the cafeteria, there was less of a stir then there had been that morning. He was able to quickly gather the tray of food and discovered Pollux had saved him a seat. The boy was practically jumping up and down on his own chair as he waved at JSN to get his attention. He moved toward the table, pleased, if a little surprised, to find Gwen and Britta also sitting there. It made sense that the boy would sit with his family, but he wasn’t certain what reception he would receive from the female Harrisons.
JSN offered a tentative smile to Britta and then to Gwen as he took a seat at the table. Pollux immediately engaged him in conversation, and he answered the questions as best he could while keeping a discreet eye on the other two at the table. They were both quiet, but Gwen seemed to regard him with emotions he couldn’t identify, while Britta watched him with solemn wariness. He couldn’t help noticing the little girl had her mother’s eyes, though her skin tone was several shades lighter, like Pollux’s.
As the meal wrapped up, he put a hand lightly on Gwen’s wrist to keep her from rising. “I have something to discuss with you. Is now convenient?”
She hesitated for a moment before nodding. “Britta, please take Pollux back to our quarters. I’ll join you shortly.”
Without argument, the little girl took her brother’s hand, almost dragging him behind her as Pollux kept turning to wave and chatter at JSN.
“What’s on your mind?” She asked the question defensively, as though she expected him to bring up an uncomfortable subject—like the kiss they had shared earlier.
He kept his tone brisk and his expression bland when he spoke. “I’ve spoken with my general, and he’d like you to come to our base with some of your samples. We have space for you to develop clones of a few of the animals you’ve stored.”
Her eyes widened, and she was clearly shocked. “I couldn’t possibly.”
He frowned, having expected her to be eager to explore the option after her passionate speech earlier. “I don’t understand your reluctance. I thought you would want this.”
“It’s just a bad time. There’s no one here to lead the enclave if I leave.”
“I assume it would only be for a few weeks, and perhaps less, depending on how advanced a replica of your current system we could create. I’m sure you agree it would be impractical to try to transport your cloning facilities to our base?”
She nodded. “I wouldn’t be comfortable with turning over everything to your people anyway. And I certainly can’t leave my children for several weeks.”
“You’d have to bring them with you then.” He hadn’t explicitly discussed the possibility with DVS, but he was certain the general wouldn’t expect Gwen to leave her children behind.
She shook her head. “They have schooling. I can’t uproot their lives just for a few weeks.”
Speaking impulsively, he reached out for her hand as he said, “Then you could stay permanently.”
Gwen didn’t pull away, but every muscle in her body stiffened, and he could feel the rigidity under his hand. “That would be impossible.”
“Not really, but why don’t you tell me what the true reason is you don’t want to come to the cyborg base? Aren’t you curious?”
Her eyes sparkled for just a moment before dimming. “Of course I’m curious, but I can’t take the risk. If our truce falls apart, and I’m stranded at your base with my children, what happens to us? And what happens to the enclave now that the cyborgs know the location?”
JSN strove to keep his tone gentle. “You have my personal guarantee no one would harm you, and to be blunt, the enclave offers little of strategic interest to the cyborgs. Your numbers are few, your defenses are weak, and your equipment is outdated. We have no reason for the truce to fall apart unless someone on your side betrays us.”
She frowned at him. “We have the ark, and you’re clearly interested in that.”
After a moment, he nodded. “It’s true that we are interested, but for the same reason you are, which is to revitalize the planet if at all possible. If we wanted it, we would’ve already taken it by now. I want to work together with you on this.”
“We have pulsers...” She trailed off, and it was unclear if she meant it as a threat, a warning, or a reminder that they still had something of value to the cyborgs.
JSN just nodded.
“I really can’t leave here. Why don’t you take some samples back to your base and see if it works?” She seemed reluctant to pose the suggestion.
He was equally reluctant to accept it. “I don’t want to do this without you.”
She pulled away from his hand, pushing back her seat with the clear intent of standing. “I’ll think about it, and perhaps we can talk more about it in the morning.”
He stifled a sigh of disappointment but nodded, watching her go for a moment before standing up to bus his tray. The nape of his neck prickled, and he was certain someone was watching him.
As he dropped his tray in the bin, he maneuvered his body to be able to see who was staring at him. It was an older man with only a few strands of hair left on his bald pate, and he was glaring daggers at JSN. He made a mental note to ask Gwen the man’s identity the next morning before leaving the cafeteria and returning to his quarters.
He paced restlessly for a bit, filled with confusion and conflicting thoughts and emotions. He’d never felt this way before, unless it had been for the wife whose name he could no longer recall and whose face would barely form in his memory after he’d been converted to a cyborg. He wasn’t certain what to do with all the pent-up energy, or how he should proceed. Human females were confusing.
Abruptly, he spun on his heel in mid-pace and walked to the chair, sitting heavily as he lifted his wrist to communicate with the base. At this time of day, he was certain Carrie would be with the general, so he used the general’s personal frequency.
“This is DVS.”
“It’s JSN. I need to talk to Carrie.”
There was definite confusion and a smoldering hint of jealousy when the general asked, “You’re calling to speak with my mate?”
“I need her unique perspective on a situation here.”
There was a brief pause, and then Carrie’s voice carried through the comm, though her picture didn’t accompany it. For some reason—and the most likely was he had disturbed them during a time when both were without clothing—DVS had shielded visual communications.
“What do you need, Jason?”
His lips twitched at the human name she insisted on using, but he didn’t really mind. He wouldn’t admit it to the other cyborgs, but it was pleasant to have a more intimate name again, rather than letters and numbers as a designation. “I don’t know how to handle Gwen.”
“You don’t handle a grown woman. What seems to be the problem, other than you’re trying to handle her?”
Judging from the acerbic tinge in her voice, he had inadvertently offended the general’s mate. “I would like to get closer to her, but she keeps withdrawing when I make any attempts to do so.” He was startled by the words that flowed from him. His original intent had been to ask Carrie about convincing Gwen to come back to the base with samples. He had intended to get her perspective and seek her counsel on how to proceed.
There was a pause for a moment, and she sounded like she was choking when she said, “I see. Just how close do you want to get to her?”
Biting his lip, he hesitated for a long moment as he searched for the right answer. “I’m not sure.”
Her tone turned brisk, and perhaps a bit disapproving. “Until you figure out how close you want to be, you shouldn’t try to get closer to her. She has children, which complicates the situation. I’m sure the last thing she wants, and the kids need, is for them to grow close to you only for you to change your mind. I’m sure the same can be said for Gwen. You can’t expect a casual hookup in your situation.”
His first instinct was to respond angrily, but he realized he was feeling defensive, and that had to be due to the truth in her words. “That makes sense. What do you think I should do, Carrie?”
This time, there was no hesitation in her reply. “You should just walk away unless you’re prepared to go all-in.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, he rubbed his eyes for a moment. “I’m sure that’s good advice. Thank you, Carrie.”
“Are you planning to follow it?”
He hesitated for a long moment, not wanting to lie to the general’s mate. “I don’t know.”
She sounded disappointed. “Just remember you’re not getting involved with just Gwen, but her children too.”
“I understand.” He signed off a moment later, still confused about what to do, but having a clearer picture of what a relationship with Gwen would entail. He was certain Pollux would accept him with enthusiasm, but Britta still hadn’t warmed up to him and might never. If he pursued Gwen, he had to be certain he wanted it to be a permanent arrangement, and not just a temporary fling.
When he imagined ending things quickly with Gwen, it sent a pang through his chest, which should have clarified the path before him. Instead, he was still mired in uncertainty and spent most of the night tossing and turning as he tried to determine the best course of action.