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When she entered the infirmary early the next morning, having paused only long enough to grab a tray to bring with her, she stumbled to a halt when she saw Leith sitting up in bed, currently eyeing a tray of his own. She almost dropped hers in her excitement, but clutched it in her hand as she rushed forward. She dropped her tray on the table also housing his before almost climbing entirely on the bed to hug him. His embrace was stiff for a moment, and she pulled back to look down at him uncertainly. “Is everything okay?”
Abruptly, his arms tightened around her and pulled her closer. “It’s perfect. I’m just not used to such an exuberant greeting. I’m not much of a toucher, so you’ll have to put up with me while I learn.”
She nodded before pressing her head against his chest. “You’ll definitely have to learn, because I intend to touch you as much as possible.”
His chuckle vibrated through his chest and against her ear. “I plan to do the same with you, so I think we’ll be all right.”
Reluctantly, she lifted her head to look up at him. “And are you all right? No complications?”
He shrugged. “OWN tells me there aren’t, and I get to try to walk after breakfast. I’m glad you’re here for that.” His anxiety was clear in his eyes.
She hugged him again before slowly separating long enough to reach for her tray. “Don’t be nervous. OWN is a fantastic healer, and he wouldn’t say you can walk if you can’t. Just don’t get discouraged if you can’t do very much yet. Your muscles have atrophied—”
“And they need time to repair themselves,” he said in a resigned voice. “Nikki already gave me the pep talk, but I appreciate hearing it from you too. I guess I won’t stop worrying about it until I see my legs actually work, and my spine is whole again.”
“In that case, let’s skip breakfast for now.” She put her tray back on the table beside Leith’s, since he had never lifted it. She slid out of bed and moved through the room, heading to the adjacent area, where she found Nikki and OWN whispering quietly. She cleared her throat, and they jerked apart. Their behavior was strange, but she didn’t give it much thought, because she was focused on Leith and his needs. “He’s not going to be able to eat or do anything else until he takes his first steps again.”
Neither one of the medical cyborgs protested. Instead, they both walked toward her, and the three of them returned to Leith together.
“Raven, please stay back as we get Leith positioned.”
She nodded at OWN’s words, though he never looked in her direction to see her confirmation. She pressed herself into the corner, her stomach twisted into knots as she waited for Leith to stand up for the first time since she’d met him. It was the first time in more than twenty years, and she was certain he was ten times more anxious than she was.
OWN and Nikki carefully supported him as they turned him in the bed until his feet were on the floor. Leith sat there for a moment with both of them holding his arms, his expression uncertain, and his complexion almost white. “I’m not sure about this.”
“I am.” OWN sounded ridiculously smug, but then he winked. “You were in excellent hands, and you’re going to be able to do this.”
Leith still didn’t move. “I’m not sure I remember how.”
Nikki patted his shoulder. “Your body won’t have forgotten how to stand up. It’s almost automatic. You can do this.”
Raven took a step closer. “I know you can, Leith.”
With a deep breath, he closed his eyes and appeared to be concentrating. Slowly, his body rose from the bed, with Nikki and OWN supporting him on each side. He didn’t open his eyes until he was standing completely upright, and Raven grinned at him as soon as his eyelids had lifted. “Look at you standing.”
He laughed, but it was shaky. “I’m still being held up.”
OWN and Nikki shared a glance before they both stepped back, hands dropping to their sides. Leith swayed, but neither one of them reached out to catch him. Raven surged forward, intent on catching him before he fell, but OWN’s harsh, “Don’t move, Raven,” was startling enough to keep her glued to the spot.
After a moment of swaying, Leith righted himself before falling. He tumbled back to the bed and sat heavily, looking defeated.
“Try again,” said OWN firmly. “Your fear is what made you fall, not your body. You aren’t going to be taking very many steps until your atrophied muscles strengthen, but you have enough strength in them now to take one or two. Stand up and try again.” His tone brooked no argument.
With what was an obvious effort, accompanied by a deep sigh, Leith slowly pushed up from the bed, this time completely on his own. He swayed again when he stood upright, but didn’t fall this time. Instead, he managed to take a small step forward.
Raven clamped a hand over her mouth to avoid letting out the sob that tried to escape. It was definitely from happy tears as her emotions overwhelmed her. She wasn’t certain if she wanted to laugh, cry, or shout from the rooftops as he managed three steps before stopping. This time, even OWN couldn’t have held her back from approaching, though the healer made no effort to do so.
She reached Leith’s side in a moment, slipping her arm around his waist and giving him a half hug on the right side of his body. “You did it. You’re walking.”
“Sort of,” said Leith as he slumped against her. “My legs feel like they’re on fire, and they could give out at any moment.”
“That’s to be expected,” said OWN as he stepped up to Leith’s left side, putting a bracing hand under his elbow. “Do you think you can shuffle backward a few more steps? You need more time in the sleeves before you try walking again, and it would do you good to have some nourishment.”
Leith nodded, and he managed to make the journey backward with OWN and Raven supporting him. He sat heavily on the bed, appearing to be exhausted from his exertions. It took him a moment to be able to swing his legs back into the bed, and he required assistance to do so. After he was settled, OWN and Nikki left them alone, and Raven sat beside him on the bed. His expression troubled her. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m still as weak as a baby. Maybe I was better off in the chair. At least I didn’t need help taking three steps with that.”
“And you must’ve fought off that last synthetic while you were in the chair.” At his nod, she shrugged. “That was impressive, and I know this is frustrating for you. I imagine it must be anyway, since I’ve never gone through something similar. The closest I have to compare is when I received an artificial leg for the first time. It takes a little while to get used to and fully integrate, so it leaves you wobbly. It’s nothing like what you’re going through though. I just want you to know that I’m here for you.”
“Are you sure?” His expression tensed. “This could take a while.”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing he was hurting and worried. “OWN and Nikki both said it should only be a couple of weeks at most before your muscles have fully regenerated. But even if it was twenty years, I’d still be right here beside you. I’m certain you’re my mate.”
His expression clouded. “I’m certain you’re mine too, which is why I don’t want to burden you with this.”
She took his hand in hers. “It’s no burden to support someone I love.”
His eyes widened. “You’re in love with me?”
Raven licked her lips. “I know I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, and when I’m with you, I feel whole and complete. I don’t know what else love would be.”
His expression softened. “When you put it like that, it makes perfect sense to me, and I feel it too.” His fingers tightened around hers as he said the words.
Joy swept through her, along with a sense of rightness that she didn’t question. Instead, she snuggled closer and focused on tempting him to eat the breakfast before him so he’d have enough strength to try to walk again after the sleeves had done more to regenerate his atrophied muscles.
***
LEITH WAS DOING WELL enough to walk to the mess hall three days later to attend a meeting Davis had called. Raven was certain she knew what the topic would be, and she was anxious to be there to support her friend. Leith walked slowly beside her, his arm entwined with hers. She was available if he needed to lean on her, but he had regained sufficient strength to make the walk by himself.
His weight never pressed on her, though he did settle heavily at a table when they reached the mess hall. He looked tired, and it was clear the short walk had drained some of his reserves, but he was making incredible progress. The more progress he made, the less worried he was, and there was a new lightness about him that she hadn’t experienced before.
Davis waited until everyone had settled and was quiet before approaching the center of the room. Raven looked around for Carrie, but didn’t see her friend. Either Carrie didn’t want to give away the news with her presence and a second heartbeat until Davis had made the announcement, or else she was too afraid of their reaction to be there. That broke Raven’s heart.
Davis was succinct. “Carrie’s having a baby, so things will have to change around here.”
There was utter silence for a moment, and then a clamoring of voices. Some were obviously excited, some were confused, and a few sounded angry. She glared at the group that was grumbling in protest.
“How did this happen?” asked a female cyborg, looking confused. “You made us turn off our ability to reproduce. OWN possesses the codes to change that, so how did this happen?”
OWN got to his feet, and the room fell silent. “Carrie doesn’t have the same biochip that the rest of us do.”
“What about the general’s chip?” asked a male cyborg. He was from the section that looked upset by the change.
“It must have malfunctioned.” OWN shrugged. “Maybe Freydon Rote played with it. I don’t know, but it happened, so as the general said, we have to consider some changes.”
“Like what?” asked the same male cyborg.
Davis took over from there. “The first thing is, I don’t want anybody upsetting Carrie. Whether you approve or disapprove, that’s your private reaction. When it comes to dealing with Carrie, you will only be supportive. She’s stressed enough and terrified of what everyone will think, and I want to make sure that you handle her gently. Is that clear?”
Raven was gratified to find no voice of dissent as those around her simply nodded. “Does this mean we can all have babies now?” she asked with a hint of hopefulness, still clinging to the image of holding Leith’s baby in her arms.
Davis frowned. “I’m not sure what it means, Raven. We had an embargo on reproduction for a reason. We need to make sure we have resources that are sufficient, and this world is too bleak to bring in future generations.”
“I felt the same way,” said Gwen, clearing her throat. She stood up beside Jason, who squeezed her hand in support. “When my husband wanted to have a family, I shut down the discussion, and then I ended up getting pregnant with Britta anyway. It was unplanned, but she was the best thing that ever happened to us. It was the same with Pollux, who was planned. Our future isn’t certain, but I know it’s a lot darker when you don’t have hope for future generations. I know it’s different with cyborgs, since you have a much longer lifespan, but at least for humans, some of us find our main purpose in parenthood.” She set down, looking a little embarrassed.
Davis seemed to mull over her words for a moment. “Nothing has been firmly decided yet, and I don’t think we should make any drastic changes to our current rules until Carrie has the baby, and we see how that progresses, but I’m not ruling out changing anything. It wouldn’t be right to have a baby with Carrie and then deny anyone else who wanted the experience. For the moment, we should take it slowly and evaluate how Carrie’s pregnancy changes things.”
Raven was happy to see most of the cyborgs around her nodding their agreement. She was mildly disappointed that he hadn’t immediately stricken from their rules the requirement to remain childless, but she understood a cautious approach too.
The meeting broke up shortly thereafter, and she stood as Leith got to his feet. She looked up as OWN approached, and Leith gave him his full attention as well.
“There’s no reason you have to come back to medical bay tonight, Leith. Why don’t you get a good night’s rest with Raven, and then come by the infirmary tomorrow for the sleeves?”
Leith stood even straighter, his shoulders firmed. “That sounds good, but how much rest do I need to get?”
OWN looked puzzled. “I suggest you sleep as long as you can.”
Leith cleared his throat. “What I meant is, am I physically cleared to make love to my mate?”
Raven could feel her face flushing, though her blue skin would hide the majority of that reaction.
OWN laughed softly. “If you feel up to it, you can do whatever you want. Just be slow and careful. And be lying down. Your legs aren’t strong enough yet for anything too unconventional.”
After that, the healer moved away, and Raven pressed her face against Leith’s chest to hide her remaining embarrassment. “I can’t believe you asked him that,” she muttered against his skin.
Leith shrugged, his body moving as he did so. “I wanted to know. I don’t want to rush things, but I’m tired of waiting for you. The idea of being able to touch you and give you pleasure the usual way is almost as exciting as being able to walk again. Maybe even more so.”
She lifted her head, grinning up at him. “When you put it like that, I certainly can’t refuse.” She grasped his hand in hers, struggling to rein in her impatience. She had to let him set the pace, so he could maintain the stamina to complete the walk to her quarters and be able to do what followed. If she sped him up too fast, she would risk making him too weak, and while she was perfectly content to just lie in bed with him and cuddle, she was also eager to finally join with her mate.