Discussion Questions

  1. Every person in the Stoltzfus family shared qualities in common with each other, though they didn’t want to acknowledge them. Ruthie was opinionated like Mammi, Jesse was single-minded like Abigail, Molly was meek, like David, and tried to avoid conflicts. What similar traits, good or bad, do you see in your children that you also see in yourself?
  2. Do you think those traits are hereditary? Or modeled through lifelong examples? Why is it that the things we most dislike in ourselves are hardest to tolerate in others?
  3. Ruthie said that studying genealogy made it seem like life was fixed. No choices. And she wanted choices! How would you respond to Ruthie?
  4. One theme in this story is about the art of listening. In one scene, David was listening to his daughter Ruthie, but in truth, his thoughts had wandered off and left the room. He caught himself. Here is his inner monologue from that scene: “This was not the way to listen to his daughter. Respectful listening was a learned skill, a key component to all harmonious relationships, and especially critical in our relationship with God. No wonder James, the brother of the Lord Jesus, challenged his readers to be quick to listen, slow to speak. It was always better to listen than to speak. Always.”
         Think of someone in your life who listens well, attentively and respectfully. How does that kind of listening make you feel? Why? How can this motivate you to be a better listener?
  5. Another theme in this novel is that nothing happens by chance. David said it when he ended up in the hospital with an ulcer and happened upon his long-lost sister in the emergency room. He also said it when he held snowflakes in his hand and observed, with awe, the complexity and the simplicity of God’s creation. What are your thoughts about David’s belief?
  6. In one scene, Dane challenged Abigail’s thinking about the importance she placed on gathering family history. “But the Bible is always telling us to remember,” Abigail said. “Even your mother kept those memory stones.” Dane’s reply: “To remember God. What he’s done.” How does Dane’s point shift your thinking about the past?
  7. One of the main reasons that Abigail wanted to complete the Glick family history was because she believed telling the complete story was essential. “You can’t just pick and choose the parts you want to,” she told her grandmother. And she’s right! Our complete story—highs and lows and everything in between—creates our identity. What are some parts of your family story you wish you could erase?
  8. How have you seen God’s work of redemption in those difficult parts of your family story?
  9. Freeman Glick failed as a church leader, and tried again. Molly Stoltzfus failed at rolling out a piecrust, and tried again. We all fail, we all try again. David Stoltzfus said that he wondered if the Lord loved us best when we fail and try again. Why would God love us best in those circumstances?

There’s much to learn from examining our history, why we are the way we are, why we’ve made the choices we’ve made. “But who you are today,” Dane said, “that’s what God is asking.” Whatever your past might include, it doesn’t mean you can’t end your story well.