Every day that passed left Bethany wanting him more and being more confused by him.
Trey was definitely an enigma. He’d disappear, sometimes for days on end, and then reappear like nothing had happened. When she asked what was up, he’d just tell her not to worry about it.
It was definitely worrying.
But then they’d spend time together, whole days naked in bed exploring each other, and she’d forget about the questions, the worry, the wondering.
She was walking on a tightrope that couldn’t take her weight, and it would eventually snap. She knew it, but she also couldn’t bring herself to care.
She was the happiest she’d ever been in her life, with the exception of a couple of tiny details. One, the constant phone calls and voicemails from her grandmother, who was still insisting that Bethany’s “boyfriend” was a criminal thug, or worse, and two…
“Can’t believe you dragged me to this freaking dress store.” Sarah was grumbling as she swam her way through about twelve yards of white tulle. “I told you I didn’t want to deal with any of this stuff!”
“You’ve got to try on wedding dresses. I can’t do it for you. You’d end up with something that your boobs wouldn’t fit inside.”
Sarah shot her a glare as soon as her face emerged from the neckline of the wedding dress. “I can get married in jeans and a T-shirt.”
“And break Mama Yelverton’s heart? You’re not that cruel. Now come on, turn around and let me zip you.”
Sarah bitched and moaned as Bethany slid the zipper closed, but then she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror and suddenly the whining turned to oohs and aahs.
“Oh, Bethy, it’s so beautiful,” Sarah gasped as she smoothed the puffy skirt down at her hips. It was a beautiful design, fitted at the bodice and with lots of fluffy princess poof at the bottom. A short train swished out behind, the ideal finish to the perfect wedding dress.
As soon as Bethany had seen it, she’d known it would be perfect for Sarah. The memory of taking Ace dress shopping would be one she’d carry to her grave, but she had to admit, behind the flirtatious, teasing playboy act, he actually had nice taste.
“I’m so glad you like it,” Bethany said, pride and happiness swelling within her as Sarah laughed and spun in front of the mirror. “Just needs a little alteration in the waist and the tuck-up for your train.”
The fitting-room attendant took the dress and made notes about the alterations, and Sarah and Bethany left the shop together.
“Thanks so much for finding it,” Sarah was saying as they climbed into Bethany’s car. “I can’t believe how wonderful it is.”
Bethany shrugged as she clicked on her seat belt. “It just screamed you, that’s all.”
Sarah happy-sighed. “Great, that’s done. How about some lunch? My treat.”
Bethany glanced at the clock. She’d promised to meet Trey for lunch, presuming that Sarah had other plans, but she couldn’t exactly tell Sarah that.
“Um, sure. I just need to rearrange a meeting or two, if that’s okay.”
Sarah shook her head. “No, don’t worry about it. I should probably get home to study anyway. Just thought you could use a break. I hardly hear from you at all these days. You seem to be so busy with the wedding.”
Bethany tried to keep her wince under wraps, but damn Sarah’s sharp eyes.
“Are you sure this isn’t too much on you? I can get Mark’s mom to help…”
“No, no, that’s not it.” The need to tell the truth was like a flaming-hot knife inside her chest, but the fear of upsetting Sarah was even stronger. “I’m enjoying it. Really. Just worried about the job search and everything.”
Sarah hiked her brow in her friend’s direction. “Do you need more money for helping with the wedding planning? I’ll be happy to pay more—”
Bethany shook her head vehemently. “No, you’ve been way too generous already. I’ve barely touched my savings. But even with this temporary wedding job, I need to figure out what I’m going to do with my life once your wedding is over.”
“Well, you should take some time to have fun too. There’s a month left before the wedding, and from what Mom has told me, you guys are in really good shape. And besides, Trey should be doing some of this. Mom’s paying him for that too.”
The note of disapproval in Sarah’s tone made Bethany’s stomach tense. “Still not sure about the whole brother thing?”
“No. Sorry. It’s just…” Sarah shook her head as the car pulled to a stop in front of her apartment. “Eh. I’ve avoided dealing with it. Like usual, Sarah’s patented ‘Ignore the problem till it goes away’ technique.” She reached for the door handle, then paused. “Hey. I’ve got an idea.”
Uh-oh. Sarah’s ideas were usually cause for worry.
“What is it?”
Sarah turned and looked at her with eyes that could only be termed puppy-dog. “What if we did a family dinner? With both of us, Mom, Mark, and Trey. To get to know everyone a little. I’d feel more comfortable with you there to run interference. What do you say?”
Bethany closed her eyes and tried to swallow, but damn if her mouth wasn’t full of cotton wool. It was hard enough pretending in front of Mama Yelverton. How could she keep her feelings for Trey secret if Sarah was staring at her the whole time at dinner?
It wasn’t possible. It was a terrible idea.
But of course she’d do it. She never left her best friend in the lurch. Damn it.
“Sure, if everyone else is okay with it,” Bethany said weakly.
Sarah leaned across the seat and gave her a quick hug.
“You’re the best, bestie. I’ll get the dinner set up and talk with you soon, okay?”
“Okay.”
Bethany smiled tightly and waved as Sarah disappeared down the walkway. As soon as she was out of sight, Bethany let her forehead thump against her steering wheel.
This was not going to be fun, in any sense of the word.
She was screwed.
The drive to the little diner where she and Trey were meeting took much longer than she’d have thought. Being alone with her brain while it screamed at her for the double life she was leading wasn’t exactly her idea of a good time.
By the time she’d turned into the parking lot, her hands were clammy, her shoulders aching, and all she wanted to do was take a hot shower and a nap, in that order.
She had to talk to Trey though. Tell him her worries, and get on the same page. Hopefully, he’d be on board with keeping their…relationship…secret. Was that even the right word? They hadn’t made promises to each other, but he’d kind of claimed her in front of his friends a few weeks ago. That was like declaring her his girlfriend, right? And she definitely wasn’t seeing anyone else.
The engine cutting left her in too much silence, and the worries rushed in to fill the gap.
What if she thought they were exclusive and Trey didn’t? She shook off the toxic notion the instant it crept into her frontal lobe. No way. Trey was loyal; she didn’t doubt that. Even though he could probably have four or five women every night if he wanted to, she didn’t think he was the kind of guy to sleep around like that.
But what do you really know about him? He hasn’t even told you what he does for a living.
That poisonous voice inside her head popped up at the most inopportune times.
She climbed out of the car and walked toward the diner, shutting the voice out yet again.
Everything is fine. Everything is fine. Everything is fine. And if she kept repeating that, it had to be true.
Didn’t it?
* * *
Trey was outside on his phone when Bethany’s car pulled into the lot.
He smiled to himself, the happiness and peace sliding through him like it always did when he caught sight of her.
Her car was looking more yellow than green, pollen from the pines covering it in a thin layer of golden dust. He’d wash it for her, maybe tomorrow afternoon when it was supposed to be sunny and warmer.
He started toward her, intending to walk her to the door of the diner, but the expression on her face stopped him.
There were lines on her forehead, her eyebrows were knitted together, and the corners of her mouth were drawn down.
She closed her eyes, and it looked for a moment as if she was arguing with herself.
Guilt crept in, pore by pore, overtaking his previous happiness.
With every day that went by, he felt worse and worse about the charade he was keeping up in front of her. She knew he wasn’t what he’d claimed to be, but he’d never once tried to tell her the truth. And why?
Fear. He was a cowardly asshole, and it was eating him from the inside out.
She opened her eyes and climbed out of the car. He strode across the walk to catch up with her.
“Hey,” he said softly, and she turned.
Her expression lifted slightly at the sight of him. “Hi. You okay?”
He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Yeah. You?”
She nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’ll be fine. Just up in my head about some stuff.”
You know that, asshole. It’s not like you haven’t given her a ton of crap to be up in her head about.
Shaking off the conscience that wasn’t taking no for an answer, Trey held open the door to the diner and let Bethany precede him into the restaurant.
They took a booth in the corner, Trey facing the rest of the place, Bethany opposite him. They made small talk for a few minutes, each of them ordering from the menu and sipping on tea and water, respectively.
As he did whenever he was with her like this, Trey wondered what her reaction would be if she knew. What would she think if she found out that he’d been keeping the Iron Shadows—and the fact that he was their leader—a secret from her?
Nothing good. Nothing at all good.
“I wanted to talk to you,” Bethany said, unwrapping the halves of her BLT, the wrapper crinkling under her hands. “About something kind of important.”
He tensed. “Okay.”
It wasn’t okay, but it also wasn’t as if he had a choice.
“It’s Sarah. You know she’s my best friend. I haven’t told her about…” Bethany’s voice trailed off, and she gestured between them. “About us, I guess I mean to say.”
Trey nodded, a little relieved that the conversation hadn’t gone where he’d thought it was going, namely to Why are you still lying to me, you asshole?
Bethany took a deep breath, setting her sandwich down as she continued. “I mean, we haven’t really defined what it is we are to each other. And Sarah has some unresolved feelings when it comes to the family situation. I didn’t want to complicate things any further by telling her.”
Trey sank back in the booth. He didn’t say anything, wondering if there was anything else she wanted to say.
He didn’t have to wait long.
“Sarah wants to have a family dinner to get to know you, and she wants me to be there as a buffer, since I said you were nice. But it’ll be hard to keep our involvement from her, she’s so freaking sharp.”
A worry crept in, one that snaked its way up his spine and curled back down into the pit of his stomach. “Are you ashamed of being seen with me?”
Bethany’s eyes flew open wide, her reaction too genuine to be faked. “No! Of course not!”
He took a deep breath, inwardly chastising himself for doubting her. “You’re basically part of that family. A bigger part than I am, for sure, even though the DNA says otherwise. I’m the stranger in the situation, so whatever you say goes. Tell me what you want, and I’ll make it happen.”
He reached across the table and took her hand in his. Her fingers were cold, so he squeezed them slightly, rubbing them to return the warmth.
Worry was plain in her gaze.
“First, I need to know. What…what do you think this is? I mean, how would you term our relation…erm, our association?” she asked.
Well, to be quite honest, he hadn’t thought about it. There was Trey, and there was Bethany, and they were good together. He wanted to be with her at every opportunity, and it seemed like she wanted the same.
Why did it need a name?
Because she’d asked for one. That’s why.
Feeling like an awkward teenager, Trey rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess relationship is a good word. As far as I’m concerned, we’re together. Does that sound right to you?”
It was like he’d plucked the moon from the sky and handed it to her. He’d never forget the smile that she gave him right then and there. “Wow. That’s… Yeah. I feel that way too.”
He smiled halfway, unsure what else to do. “Good.”
For a moment they just held hands and looked at each other. He should have felt weak, mushy, overly emotional. But he didn’t. He felt strong, as if he could run ten miles without losing his breath or lift a car one-handed for her.
Anything she wanted. He’d do anything. And it felt amazing.
“So, if we have a big family dinner, can we keep us under wraps? Just until Sarah comes to grips with everything that’s happening, and the wedding is over.”
His smile faltered.
When the wedding was over, he’d be fading out of their lives. Only barely connected by the occasional phone call or visit every few years. There was no way he could keep up that facade long-term.
But he couldn’t ask Bethany to separate from the family she’d chosen, any more than he could leave the Shadows.
His formerly buoyant heart turned to stone in his chest, but he pinned a smile on his face anyway.
“Sure. We’ll keep it quiet if that’s what you want.”
She gave a big sigh. “Thank you, Trey.”
The food might as well have been made of cardboard, but he ate it anyway.
Had to keep up his strength to continue being such an asshole.