TODAY IS JULY 21, 2010. I’M IN NAPA VALLEY! MY goodness, I’ve dreamed of taking a trip up here for the longest time. Me being from California and loving wine, nature, and good times, I had to pinch myself as I sat back in the velvet easy chair on the Sonoma County Wine train. I was actually there! Not dreaming about going there. I brought Charley and my darling Brooke! (She’s twenty-two now!) We are all happy, laughing, and enjoying the day. Brooke has known how much I used to talk about a trip like this, and I never realized I’d actually be on this trip and enjoying it with her. Charley is laughing, Brooke is taking pictures, and I can’t help but reflect—I take a sip of my delicious sauvignon blanc and gaze out at the vast open vineyards, the beautiful green hillsides, the sun-drenched skies in the warm California air.
It’s been a long road getting to this point. During my marriage, we had good times. I was a full-time support system to my husband, but with a lot of hard work came exciting times, too. I was more than a wife; I was a mom, friend, adviser, housekeeper, party planner, sex goddess, chief cook, and bottle washer. I wore just about every hat. I loved my life and thrived on being a multitasker. I handled it all with ease; the only thing I couldn’t handle was Terry’s infidelity—again.
I had some tough years throughout my marriage and always tried to see the glass half full. But through the divorce, it became so difficult to keep the same perspective. At times, I thought there would be no end to the pain of understanding what my marriage was really about, no relief from the sadness, no escape from the reality of realizing your family is broken, your husband of almost twenty-four years is gone—crying as you start packing your life into cardboard boxes, thinking that the road ahead is unbearable, not knowing where or how you will end up.
I’m thankful to God and my family, children, friends, and Charley for surrounding me with their help to weather the storm. But I did it and you can, too. God closes doors, but he opens windows. You need to look at your life at a low point and view it as the beginning, not the end. A second chance to live and love again your way! Be a little kinder to yourself. Instead of the regular old to-do list, make it a “to-do-for-me” list. Write that “bucket list” down, even if it seems like you’re a zillion miles away from doing or achieving any of it. Just write it down and date it. Start saying yes a bit more, and stop taking life so seriously and smile more. When you’re independent, these things radiate positivity. You need strength of character to become a survivor. This is only the beginning of a new you!