On Sunday morning, Beth woke with a groan and a pounding head. She pulled the duvet up to shield herself from the light that was driving daggers into her eyes. It’s likely she’d have stayed there the whole day if the doorbell hadn’t chimed, the sound reverberating through the house and hammering on her aching skull. Pulling the pillow around her ears, she tried to ignore it but, when it rang again and again, she groaned, dragged herself from the bed, threw on a robe, and went to answer it.
She was immediately sorry she had when she saw Megan standing on the doorstep. Her first thought was to ask her to go away, to beg for solitude in her misery, but something in what she saw made her change her mind. Unlike her, Megan was one of those women who would never leave home without perfectly applied make-up and without looking impeccably dressed, so her pale bare face, mismatched trousers and jacket, and a shirt with the buttons incorrectly fastened rang a loud warning bell.
‘You look terrible,’ Beth said, turning and heading to the kitchen, leaving Megan to follow. ‘What are you doing here? I thought you and Trudy always went out for brunch on a Sunday morning?’
Ignoring her questions, Megan perched on the edge of a chair. ‘To be exact, it’s the afternoon,’ she said, eyeing Beth’s robe with a raised eyebrow. ‘I hope I haven’t interrupted something.’
Beth shook her head, immediately regretted the action when everything swam. She couldn’t remember how much whiskey she’d downed the night before, or how much wine. The bottles were still in the sitting room, she wasn’t sure she wanted to look. She filled the kettle. ‘Would you like some coffee?’
‘Sure,’ Megan said, taking off her jacket and throwing it onto another chair.
‘Is instant okay? I have a fancy all-singing-and-dancing machine but I couldn’t bear the noise this morning.’
‘Instant is fine. I thought you looked a bit under the weather. Were you two out on the town?’
Beth said nothing until she put coffee in front of Megan and sat, both hands wrapped around her mug. For a second, she was tempted to lie, to say that yes, they’d had a brilliant night wining and dining and that Graham was lying curled up in their bed waiting for her return. She could feel her heart squeeze on the wish that she could say just that. Instead, she swallowed noisily and shook her head. ‘No, we weren’t,’ she said, taking a deep breath to steady herself before she put it into words, the first step in accepting it was over. She took a sip of her coffee and put the mug down. ‘We’ve split up.’
Having taken a mouthful of coffee, Megan spluttered and coughed. ‘What? What did you say?’
Maybe if Beth kept saying it, it would become easier to bear, easier to believe. ‘We’ve split up.’
‘You can’t be serious.’ Megan’s eyes opened wide in disbelief. ‘You two have been together forever.’
Forever. The word made Beth cringe. ‘We’re not together anymore,’ she said sharply. She’d thought she was hiding her grief and pain well, but she guessed she was fooling no one when Megan stood and moved across to grab her in a hug.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘And on top of that you had all my shit to deal with.’
Beth had considered telling her friends that the break-up had been her idea, that she’d thrown him out but, wrapped in Megan’s arms, she found she couldn’t tell that lie. Instead, she told the unvarnished and painful truth. ‘He left without a word, without explanation. I came home and he was gone.’
The arms tightened around her. ‘He’ll come back, you two are good together.’
‘He came while I was away and took the rest of his stuff,’ Beth snuffled into Megan’s shoulder, feeling like a child. ‘He hasn’t answered my texts, I’ve no idea where he is or who he’s staying with.’
With a final squeeze, Megan let her go, sat and picked up her coffee. ‘Did you have a row about something?’
‘I wish!’ She did wish it were that simple. A row, with each of them shouting, raised voices, cross words. A big fuss and then sweet make-up sex. The usual, not this terrible emptiness. ‘You know how erratic my hours are. I’m so often late but, Thursday before last, Graham asked me to come home on time, he made me promise and stupidly, so stupidly because I know what my job is like, I did.’
Beth’s sigh ended on a hint of a sob. ‘But I really meant to, and would have done if something hadn’t come up that I couldn’t get out of. When I got home, hours late, I saw he’d cooked this big dinner. The table was set with candles, and flowers, that bottle of champagne,’ she waved towards where it still sat, like a pathetic reminder of a forgotten party, ‘was sitting in a bowl of half-melted ice.’ She smiled sadly at her friend’s gasp before continuing. ‘I thought he was upstairs, annoyed with me. But he was gone and he’d taken most of his stuff.’
‘Oh no!’ Megan said, her face collapsing in sadness.
‘It’s hard to blame him really, you know. He’d gone to so much trouble and I hadn’t given him a thought. I should at least have called to let him know I was running late.’ She shrugged wearily. ‘If I could have left work, I would have done, but there was a young girl, only fourteen, she’d been sexually assaulted by a gang of boys. I couldn’t find an advocate available so I needed to stay with her until we could contact her family. I spent two hours with her, churning out all the good advice we’re taught to give.’
‘But Graham’s being so unfair!’ Megan reached across the table to her. ‘He knows what your job’s like, that you can’t drop things and scarper when you want. You were a copper when you met, after all. It’s not like you suddenly changed jobs. It’s easy for him with his personal training business to suit himself.’
Beth put her hand over Megan’s. ‘He’s complained before about my blinkered approach to life, that all I see and think about is my job. We’ve argued about it a lot. I don’t know, maybe he was right, maybe I give too much and should have found a better balance.’ She pulled a sheet of paper towel from a roll and blew her nose. ‘Anyway, it’s over, I need to accept it and as a start, I really need to get rid of that,’ she said, nodding to the champagne and the bowl of water. She stood, grabbed a towel and reached for the bottle, lifting it by the neck so it dripped water into the bowl.
‘We could drink it, of course, do you fancy a glass? We could toast the end of my relationship.’ She could hear the sad bitterness in her voice. ‘Sorry, I’m just trying to make light of the situation, I suppose.’
She dried the bottle, put it on the counter and had half-turned away to pick up the bowl of water when something caught her eye. The foil covering the champagne cork had been torn and pressed back, the edges no longer meeting. Curious she looked closer, pushing the tear apart with a fingernail. What she saw made her reel with shock and gut-wrenching pain. There, on the top of the cork, anchored in place by the foil, was a ring. She took it out. ‘Oh no,’ she whispered, looking at the simple solitaire. ‘Oh, Megan, look!’ She held it towards her friend who stared at it with such sorrow in her eyes that she felt hers fill with tears. ‘The stupid man was going to propose.’
‘Oh, Beth,’ Megan said, ‘there must be something you can do.’
‘I’ve tried texting him but he doesn’t answer.’ She saw Megan frown. ‘What?’
‘Why a Thursday? Seriously? He knows what your job’s like, Beth. For something this special, why couldn’t he have waited until the weekend when you were sure to be free?’
Beth looked at the ring, sparkling in the light, shut her eyes briefly and groaned. Of course! She hadn’t thought of it at the time, too caught up in work, in the things that were important to her. He had always been the more romantic half, the one who remembered anniversaries and birthdays without being reminded. In fact, he usually reminded her. This year, he hadn’t; he’d laid on a surprise instead. Tilting the ring to make it sparkle even more, she explained, ‘We met on a Thursday; we would have been together eight years, give or take a day or three. I suppose that was why.’
Megan reached out and took her hand in hers. ‘Oh, Beth,’ she said again, in a voice laced with sadness.
‘That’s why he made me promise,’ Beth gave a sad smile. ‘I’d only been half listening to him, I was thinking about work and he’d been annoyed and said again how important it was that I be home on time. I thought he was just fussing.’
The ring was beautiful. It was tempting to try it on, to see if it fitted and how it would look but, she didn’t. It would fit, he’d have made sure, the same way as he’d chosen the most perfect ring, one single diamond, classy and strong. She put it carefully down on the counter beside the bottle and turned back to Megan. ‘Enough about me, what brings you here on a Sunday afternoon? You’re usually out having a long leisurely lunch. But here you are. I’m guessing there’s a reason.’
Megan looked as if she wanted to continue the conversation, to discuss what to do about Beth and Graham but she must have seen the shuttered look that descended on Beth’s face because, instead, she said, ‘We met a group of friends. I pleaded a headache and came away early.’
Beth looked at her and frowned. No make-up, and looking like she’d dressed in the dark. It was obvious she was lying. But why? Beth stood, went to the window and stared out at the tiny courtyard garden where the previous summer’s flowers lay brown and withered in the ceramic pots she’d bought the year before. Her head was churning. Graham’s departure, the proposal he would have made on that fateful Thursday, and Megan’s revelation all spun out of control. Beth couldn’t handle anything else. Whatever else was troubling her friend, right at that moment, Beth didn’t want to know.
‘I was worried about Joanne,’ Megan said. ‘I didn’t think I had to worry about you, but now…’
‘You don’t need to worry about me, I’ll live,’ Beth said shortly, turning around to look at Megan. ‘Joanne said she was okay. Your…’ Beth searched for the right word, ‘your deception has hit her hard, just give her time.’ And me… give me time! Megan was behaving as if her confession had no lasting impact whatsoever on her. Beth swallowed. It was all too much. Running a hand over her unbrushed hair, she gave a loud sigh, hoping Megan would get the hint, and leave, irritated when she just shook her head slowly.
‘You don’t think I should go down there?’
‘No, I don’t,’ Beth said, trying to keep her temper. It had always been a bit of a joke between the friends, that Megan didn’t know when to give up. It didn’t seem quite so funny now. ‘I think,’ Beth said firmly, ‘that you’d be better off letting her come to terms with it in her own time.’
‘But she will?’
‘I don’t know that, do I?’ Beth’s voice rose as irritation took over. She wanted Megan to leave, she had enough angst in her head without adding more. ‘You must have realised your truth would have implications.’ When Megan continued to sit, showing no signs of wanting to leave, Beth said, ‘Listen, leave Joanne to me. I’ll give her a buzz during the week and suggest meeting up. I’ll let you know what she says. Okay?’ Beth willed Megan to nod and leave.
It seemed to work. ‘If you think that’s for the best.’ Megan stood and reached for her jacket. ‘Okay, I suppose I’d better get home anyway.’
At last! When she’d gone, Beth shut the door and turned the key in the lock. Nobody else was getting in today. She ignored the tiny voice that said nobody else would want to call around now that Graham was gone. It had been his friends who’d popped in without warning, rarely hers. She frowned as she realised that Megan had never really said why she’d called around. Was it simply her concern for Joanne that caused her stricken look and unkempt appearance? That lie about leaving Trudy with friends because she had a headache, what was that all about? Beth probably should have been a good friend and asked her what was wrong. Because something obviously was. The next day, if she felt up to it, she’d give her a ring, talk to her then and find out what was going on. For now, she needed some time to think about healing herself.