The next day I awoke with bark-skin clear up to my elbow. My arm itched like crazy. I sprayed it with Benadryl spray, covered it in cortisone, and even coated it in oil to see if it would soften up. No avail. If things kept going the way they were, I would soon look like Treebeard from the Lord of the Rings.
The only thing I could do was cover the eyesore until I could figure out how to deal with it. So, I cut a hole in a sock and used the tube to cover my gross-looking skin.
Neither Keir nor Linda had been helpful when it came to reversing the spell.
Michael had been up all night killing zombies and werewolves with his online pals, so the kid would be zonked until late in the afternoon. I didn’t have to worry about him getting up and coming to the garden any time soon.
“I can’t go on like this, Linda,” I said as I sat down on the bench. I removed the sock and showed her my arm. “This stuff is growing fast.”
She wrinkled her nose and made a face. “Chances are good you’ll be magic dust before it reaches your neck.”
“That’s not helpful,” I said. “How in the world did I manage to do this to myself?”
“If you hadn’t cast a spell in your kitchen, I might’ve been able to narrow it down.”
“First, I didn’t cast a spell. Second, what about the kitchen makes it so bad?”
“I’m not going to fight with you about something as plain as your nose, Kleinkind.”
I’d finally looked up the words. Kleinkind was basically her calling me a toddler, which I didn’t love, but it was better than floppy tits. Kleinkind was a sorcerer, which I’d already guessed. And Leibling was darling. The fact that she’d called me Leibling a couple of times had softened me to the old grump.
Linda hopped up on the garden bench. “Do you cook a lot?”
“Yes,” I said. “I have a teenager who likes to eat.”
“And do you cook with a lot of spices and herbs, like cinnamon, cloves, rosemary, basil, thyme, marjoram, bay, and the such?”
“Yep. I have a mega spice rack.” I loved all kinds of flavors.
“Then there’s your answer. One of those herbs or spices acted as an agent for your spellwork. Until you figure out which one, there is no reversing the action. This is why you study terra-craft before evoking it.”
“So I don’t end up an Ent?”
“Ents are not real.”
“Well, neither was talking gnomes until they were.” I flexed my arm. The tendons were getting tight between my wrist and my elbow. What if what was happing on the surface was also happening in my muscles? Eep! “What if I brought the spice rack out here? You can tell me what each one is used for, and when we get to the one that makes you grow a thick skin, we’ll set things right.”
“Or, your neighbors will sprout limbs from their asses.”
I blanched. “Is that a possibility?”
Linda quirked her head to the side. She shoved her hand in her pocket and pulled out a pipe. She put it to her lips and gave it a puff. Smoke billowed from her lips.
“Did you have lit tobacco in your pocket?”
“I’m made of stone, Kleinkind. It’s not like I’m going to catch on fire.”
“But your clothes?”
“Are also made of stone.” She shook her head, consternation written all over her face. “Just when I start to think you’re not so ignorant, you remind me how wrong I am.”
“And just when I start to think I could love you, you’re as mean as shit to me.”
She raised a hairy brow. “Your idea about the spice rack has merit. Bring it to me.”
“I have a lot of spices,” I said.
“Learning about the power of herbs and aromatics is a good lesson.”
In other words, she didn’t care. I walked backward to the kitchen with an eye on the gnome the whole time. I was tired of getting pelted by dirt clods.
“You’re learning,” she cackled.
Inside, I grabbed a sturdy tote from under the counter and started chucking everything from my rack into it. When I was done, the bag weighed thirty pounds. I had a few essential oils I threw in for good measure, lavender, peppermint, and tea tree. It dawned on me I had some fresh herbs as well in the fridge. I only took out items that had been here before my shopping trip. Cilantro, parsley, mint, garlic, and…kale…was kale an herb? I wasn’t sure, so I threw it in as well. Oh, and I had some pickled peppers. Dried peppers were a spice, so the jar made it in the bag.
Now it felt about fifty pounds as I lugged it out to the gnome.
“Did you pack the kitchen sink?” Linda asked.
“Har har.” I carefully put the bag down. Most of the spices were in glass bottles, and I didn’t want the pickled peppers to break and spill vinegar everywhere. “Anything that seemed like it would fit the bill of an herb or a spice is in there.”
Linda reached in and pulled out the peppers first and frowned. “Peppers are great for sexual mojo spells, but pickled peppers are bound to sour a relationship.”
“Good to know.” I scratched my arm. “But not for protection spells.”
“Nope.” Linda pulled out the cilantro. “Another love spell ingredient.” The kale was next. “This should be tossed immediately.”
“Is it dangerous?” I asked.
“No,” Linda replied. “It’s just gross.”
I rolled my eyes. “Next.”
She grabbed the parsley. “Hmm. This could have contributed. Parsley is extensively used in purification rituals, but it also is good in strength spells. Didn’t you say your ex- Arschloch was thrown from you?”
I nodded. “Yep.” A hint of a smile played on my lips. “He hit his head on the fridge.”
Linda chuckled. “It’s going in the maybe pile.”
Basil was next. “Love and protection. Also, money,” Linda said. “I’ll put it in the maybe pile.”
I made a mental note of the money aspect. Michael’s senior year would be expensive.
Linda must’ve read it in my face because she added, “Every spell cost something. Sometimes that price is small, sometimes it’s not.”
“Like growing bark on my skin?”
She nodded. “Exactly. I can’t imagine your intention when you wished for a thick skin meant turning into a tree. But the combination of getting that man away from you and growing a thick skin had this unintended consequence. Your price to pay.”
“Ah,” she said as she retrieved another bottle. “Bay leaves. These are great for banishing evil and negative energy from your home.”
“I better buy a case of it then. Does it work on grouchy gnomes?”
Linda ignored me. “It’s also good for physical feats. Your son’s an athlete. You should grind up a little bay leaf to throw into his food before games.”
“I’ll wait until I’ve mastered something easy…you know, like not destroying myself.”
“Fair enough,” Linda said. “Ah-ha, here’s some oregano. Another one good for love and protection spells.”
“There sure are a lot of these things used for love spells.”
“Earth is the most romantic of all the elements.”
“Yes, rocks and dirt are so sexy.” I lifted my affected arm. “And my bark-shake brings all the boys to the yard.”
“Dolt,” she muttered. “Diamonds and gold are earth elements, too. Are you saying they’re not sexy?”
She had me there. We spent the next two hours going over each herb and spice, with Linda spending several minutes on each one. She explained their properties, how they were activated with tru-craft, and how each one gave witches the ability to practice magic without paying a personal toll. The herbs and spices, and even the essential oils, paid the price instead.
Linda thinned her lips at me as she dug through the bag for the next item. Her face lit up as she pulled a small bottle out. “Wunderbar!”
“What did you find?”
“Peppermint oil.” She snapped her fingers at me. “Go get your grimoire.”
“But it’s still empty, other than the incantation and the other witches’ names.”
“It won’t be for long, Kleinkind. Do as I ask.”
It had been more of an order than a request, but I didn’t argue with her. “I’m going.”
“And bring a pen,” she said. “One that has special meaning for you, if you can manage. An heirloom, possibly.”
I didn’t have anything like that. However, I had the ballpoint Keir had given me the day before, and as far as special goes, well, I’d used it to seal myself to the grimoire. That was monumental, right? Speaking of Keir, I was waiting for him to message me about his research, so I checked my phone. I had one message, but it wasn’t from the dashing druid professor. It was from a number I didn’t recognize.
Hey, Iris. This is Lu from the other night. I forgot to text so you’d have my number. Call me if you need a night out.
That was so nice. It’d been a while since I’d hung out with anyone that wasn’t my kid or a sibling. I didn’t count Linda or Keir because their presence was directly related to me getting magical powers, not for fun.
I texted her back. Busy every day for the next week. Work stuff. Let’s have lunch the first week of June. If I was still alive, that is. I didn’t say that, though.
It’s a date, but only if you make it drinks and dancing, she messaged back.
I giggled. You got it.
It was oddly comforting having one aspect of my life that didn’t revolve around my divorce, my kid, or tru-craft.
Bob jumped up on my table and meowed at me.
I gave him the stink eye. “If Linda sent you in here to hurry me up, I’m hurrying,” I told him.
He made cutesy squeaks that I swear sounded like denials.
“I’m just teasing you, Bob. I know you wouldn’t do me like that.” I wore my favorite yoga pants today, aka they had pockets, so I tucked the phone in them. Dear designers, I thought ruefully, pockets belong in all of women’s wear.
I retrieved the grimoire from my bedroom, peeked in on Michael—still snoring away—and hustled back out to the garden.
I set it on the bench and opened it up. “Now what?”
Linda rubbed her stubby fingers together. “This is a milestone, Leibling.”
“What is?”
“The recording of a first spell.” She gestured to a paving stone in front of the bench. “Sit.”
I did, but I swore if she told me to “stay” I was going to knock her gnome block off.
Bob wormed his way under my arm and curled in my lap. “What a sweet little chonky-chonk,” I cooed.
The imp-cat body vibrated pleasantly as he purred.
“Good,” Linda said. “The imp will help you focus the spell.”
I scratched under Bob’s chin. “I thought you said I wasn’t ready for spells.”
“We’re not doing it yet.” If Linda had been carrying a ruler, she’d have smacked me with it. “You must understand a spell and how it works before you invoke it. That’s how you control the tru-craft instead of casting with your emotions.”
“What do I do first?”
“This is a rudimentary spell. You will have to add a variation to make it yours. This is why it’s so important to understand the materials you work with.”
“I guess peppermint is part of it.”
“Yes,” Linda said. “Not only does it smell great and keep mice away, but it is also a clarifying agent. Your magic knows what ingredients it drew from to cast the spell. I can’t help you undo the work, but I do know how to create a clarifying and seeking potion. If you can get it right, it should show you how the spell was crafted.”
“So, this is a potion?”
“Yes. I don’t possess tru-craft, but you don’t have to be a practitioner to understand and utilize nature.” She steepled her fingers. “Do you have your pen?”
“Yep.” I pulled the ballpoint from my pocket. “Got it right here.” I opened the book to the first empty page. “Ready.”
“Five drops of peppermint oil, a teaspoon of ground bay leaf, grind three leaves of basil, add a pinch of cinnamon, and a pinch of sage.”
“My sized pinch or yours?” I asked as I scribbled it all down.
“Yours,” Linda said, giving me an approving look. “Do you have any chamomile in the house?”
“Yep. I have some chamomile tea that has been sitting around since before my mother died. She was the only one who could drink the stuff. Does it matter how old it is?”
“It should be fine,” Linda said. However, I didn’t love her worried expression. Note to self: buy chamomile that hasn’t expired.
“What else?”
“It’s your turn to make the potion your own.” Linda dumped the bag out onto the grass. “Are there any of these ingredients that are calling to you?”
My skin had been buzzing since I’d signed the book. It was hard to feel anything else. Then I spotted the anise. I used the licorice tasting spice occasionally when I made Chinese food. However, it wasn’t the taste that attracted my attention. It was the shape. The anise, also called star anise, reminded me of the scar on Keir’s wrist. I picked up the bottle. “This one,” I said.
Linda nodded. “Add two to the mix.”
“What do I mix it with?”
“You’ll want purified water.”
“Will distilled water work?” I kept a jug for my mini steam cleaner.
“That’ll do. One cup of the water, bring it to a boil in a glass pot. Add the spell ingredients, stir with a non-metal spoon, and let it steep for fifteen minutes.”
I had a glass measuring cup I could heat the water in. “Does it matter if I microwave the water?”
Linda shook her head. “No, that’ll do.”
“Then what?”
“Then you draw yourself a bath, dump the potion in.”
“Strain or no strain?”
“No strain.”
“Yuck, but okay.” I didn’t relish the idea of little bits of herbs getting caught in my cracks, but I’d do what needed to be done. “Anything else?”
“Repeat your intention for the potion taking deep breaths in between until the potion works.”
I nodded then wrote down the rest of the directions down. “What should I say?”
“Do I have to do everything for you, Kleinkind? Words. You tell the potion what you want, and you focus on your intention. The potion will help set the limit. Do not let your thoughts stray. Ask for the clarification you need. Ask for guidance. Then relax and let the magic function as it should.”
“Is this a good idea?”
“Potion spells aren’t as dangerous. You are borrowing energy from the ingredients, not yourself. You will be fine. Take the imp with you. He can help you focus your limits.” As she walked back to her spot in front of the bench, she muttered, “I hope.”
“I heard you, Linda.” Great. I was going to try a spell again. What could possibly go wrong? “If I boil my ass, you’re going to feel really bad.”
“I’d be more worried about turning to dust. Boiling your ass is a step up. Go. Do.” She flicked her hand at me then turned back to stone.