Chapter 18

Kurt

The room is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. Lisa is hooked up to all kinds of wires and gauges. She’s got an IV tube sticking in her arm, and an oxygen mask over her face. A nurse has been in to check on her, and Lisa’s parents are sitting together, almost huddled, at the foot of the bed. Laura is next to me, and I’m closest to Lisa’s face. Why I was awarded this seat, I don’t know. But I’ll take it.

“I’m sorry, is this the Kurt that Lisa was telling us about over the phone?” Mary asks, bless her, trying to strike up a conversation in an awkward room.

“Yes, ma’am.” I say, reaching over to shake her hand again.

“Sorry, I just…didn’t catch who you were under the circumstances.” Mary explains.

“No need to apologize. It’s thank God Laura introduced me, otherwise I’d have forgotten my own name.”

“She spoke very highly of you, Kurt.” Earl says.

I have the grace to chuckle, trying for bashful. “I’m not sure why, ma’am. To be honest, she broke up with me.” I’m not sure if this is the right time to say so, but I figure why lead them on.

“She br…broke up with you?” Mary is shocked. She looks at Earl.

“She didn’t say anything about that.” Earl states. He looks over at Laura. “Did you know about this?”

She nods. “Yes.”

“No offence, son.” Earl raises his hand to me. “But I have to figure this thing out.”

“None taken, sir. Go right ahead.” I say honestly. He’s just as shocked about the news as I was at the time.

“Why did she break up with you?”

“She didn’t give me a reason, sir.”

Earl looks at Laura. “Did she tell you why?”

Laura shakes her head. “No, she was very vague with me, too.”

Mary’s foot is bouncing up and down, like she’s pissed off. “She hasn’t dated anyone since that Harlan. I thought she was waiting for the right one to come along, and it sounded to me like she’d found him.”

“Harlan.” Earl says like it’s a bad taste in his mouth. “That boy ought to be hung.”

Laura’s attention is piqued. “She never did tell me what happened between the two of them. They were set to get married and everything.”

Mary’s eyes widen. She looks over at Laura like she’s suddenly blown up ten sizes. “She never told you, Laura?”

“Afraid not. Not for my lack of trying though.” Laura scoffs.

“Wha, he dumped her because she couldn’t get pregnant. The low-life scumbag.” She looks downward, as if Harlan were sitting right here. “Sure, he put the ring on her finger, but that waste of a life said he wouldn’t marry her until she could produce a child for him. When she couldn’t, he hit the bricks.”

Earl interjects. “Serves him right. He’s got two children from his wife now, but they’re all no good.” He sucks his teeth. “Of course, it wasn’t Lisa’s fault she had so many…female issues. Clearly, she didn’t know the half of it. Poor kid.”

As I’m overhearing, I’m feeling sicker by the minute. It all makes sense. This is why Lisa never wanted to get close to a man or have a relationship. The man ruined her. He screwed up any chance she’d ever have with someone forever. Lisa is afraid. She didn’t want to have her heart broken again, so she got out before she could ever feel anything so deep. She was used and thrown away like a goddamn dish rag. I’d like to hunt this Harlan guy down and make him goddamn sterile, see how it feels.

Reaching out, I take her hand in mine. Rubbing her soft skin, I lower my lips and kiss the back of her hand.

“That son of a bitch better not ever come within an inch of me.” Earl says.

“Or me.” I murmur under my breath, kissing her again.

“Of course, her doctor should be taken out back and shot, too.” Mary points out. “She wouldn’t have had to go through any of this if he had had the mind to look after her properly. All the problems she had, he never sent her to a specialist. I don’t know why she never had the sense to change doctors. She could have easily had kids then.”

“Maybe God was telling her that she was with the wrong guy.” I say aloud. “Shouldn’t make a difference to a man whether or not a woman can procreate. If he really loved her, he’d have stayed with her no matter what.”

Mary gives me a warm smile. “Why she broke up with you is beyond me, son. You seem to be real sweet on her.”

Laura rubs my back.

I purse my lips into a smile. “That’s because I love her.”

 

***

 

I’m awakened by Grayson patting me on the shoulder. “Get up, little brother.”

Lifting my head off Lisa’s bed, next to her thigh, I look up. My voice is gravelly from sleep. “What time is it?”

“It’s after midnight.” He states, checking her vitals. “I’ve already pulled a bunch of strings so you could stay this long.”

“I’m sure you can pull more, man. Don’t give me that.”

“You can’t set up camp here, man. Laura says you haven’t eaten anything or gone to the washroom since we brought her in. Dang, your clothes are still covered in her blood.”

“Well, I’m not leaving until she wakes up. You can drag me out of here if you have to. But you’ll have to bring Clint, too, because you can’t carry me alone.”

“You trying to be in the next bed over?”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you? What are you going to do when she does wake up, man? You think she’s going to forget that you’re not together anymore.”

I look at her face. Brush a piece of hair away. “I don’t care. I just…I want to be the first face she sees when her eyes open.”

“If her eyes open.” Grayson says evenly.

“You talk like that again and I’ll kill you.”

Grayson raises his hands in the air. “Easy there, killer. It’s not like I haven’t been praying for her just like you. But I’ve seen this many times, and it’s no good to be unrealistic. She lost so much blood she barely made it through surgery. Her blood pressure dropped so low she almost flatlined, man. I kept that part out. Didn’t want her daddy to have a stroke right on the emergency room floor.”

“She’ll make it, Grayson.” I say, looking at her. “I’ve never met a more determined woman. This girl has made a life for herself, and she’s done it all alone. This Harlan prick beat her down until she was nothing, and she came back. She can survive that, then she can survive this.”

“Her body’s awful tired, Kurt. There’s only so much a woman’s body can handle.”

I look him up and down, flabbergasted. “You wait another four months and we’ll have the same conversation, after your wife’s pushed out your fat-headed kid. Then you tell me that again.”

“Alright.” Grayson lifts his hands in the air again. I hear a soft chuckle as he checks the gauges on her monitors.

“Anything change yet?” I ask, lowering my voice back down to a normal level.

“Not yet. But she’s breathing on her own, and everything else. Just an IV and oxygen is helping her out. The gauges are just for monitoring.”

“She still having blood pumped into her?”

“Yeah, not for long, though. Another pint or so and that’s it. We’ll check her cell counts in a couple of hours. They were almost normal last check.”

“So that’s it. After that there’s nothing more.” I say as a statement, not as a question.

“Just some precautionary antibiotics. And the doctor will do a scan again to make sure that her uterus is healing well.”

“Is she actually as barren as she thinks she is?”

“From the look of that fibroid, she had it a long time. They do cause infertility, especially one that size. But there’s no way of telling how long it took to get that massive.”

“And now? Now that it’s gone, can she have children?”

“Her uterus may never heal properly from such a mass. And there will likely be lots of scar tissue. I’m no expert on this, but I’d say that no, she won’t be able to. Her uterus was able to be saved, but it will be too far gone to conceive.”

“But she can get a second opinion…if she wants.”

“Sure. But I wouldn’t place too much importance on it.”

I nod.

“Listen. Seriously, Kurt. You need to go home and at least get a decent meal, shower and change. Come on. You look like hell.” He urges. “I tell you what, you go on home for a couple of hours, and I’ll arrange for a cot to be brought up. Sound fair?”

“Fine.” I rise, give Lisa a kiss on the cheek.

“Come on, I’ll give you a ride home.”

Once I’m back at the ranch, I shower, change, and grab something quick from the fridge to eat on the way there.

Taking two steps at a time, I stride up the stairs to the floor where Lisa’s at, and I walk in the room. She’s alone and my heart sinks. My girl should never be alone. Pulling the chair back up to the bed, I lay my chin on her thigh, grab her hand and don’t let it go for what seems like hours. I’m awakened by her parents coming in the door. I have no idea what time it is, so I check my watch.

“Good morning.” I say in greeting.

“Good morning.” Earl says. “Have you been here all night?”

“Just about. I went home for an hour or so just to get showered and changed.”

“Have you eaten anything?”

A true mama. “Yes, ma’am.”

“How is she doing?”

“Grayson…err…Doctor Thomas says that there’s no change, but it’s still early.”

“She’s got a little more color.” Mary comments.

“Yeah, a little more.” Earl agrees. They both take a seat, and then Laura walks in a minute later.

“Hi, sweetie.” Mary says, giving her a warm smile.

“Hi, Mary.” Laura is wearing the cutest little shirt, with an empire waist, which accentuates her girth. She suits pregnancy.

“Hi, Kurt.” She comes over and kisses my cheek. “How are you doing, doll?” she asks me with a sigh, tracking her hand through my hair as if I’m a little boy. Her maternal instinct must really be kicking in.

“I’m doing okay.”

“You liar.” She says, good-naturedly, with a smirk.

I have the grace to chuckle.

“This young man’s a loyal soul.” Earl says, as if I’m not here.

“Thank you, sir.”

Mary changes the subject. “Laura, when’s the baby due?”

Laura tells her, and they go into a lengthy conversation about labor and delivery, something I think all women do, trading stories, only soon Laura will have one of her own. My head rests on Lisa’s thigh, and my hand is holding hers. I don’t hear anyone for a while, so I either drifted off, or they’re all being real silent. I discover it’s both. They were quiet enough that I fell asleep, and then they left.

As I awake, I lift my head. Lisa’s hand has slipped out of mine. I pick it up and kiss it, when I see her eyelids flutter. My heart starts to pound as I see the first signs of life. “Kurt?” she whispers. And my heart swells. If I die right now, it would be worth it, just to hear the first thought, the first name, the first person she thought of after coming back practically from the dead, is mine.

“Hi, baby.” I say, lifting so she can see me without moving her head. Reaching, I press the call button on the bed, without her noticing, without taking my eyes off her.

“What…happened? Where am I?” her voice is so soft I can barely hear her.

“You collapsed, darlin’. You’re in the hospital. But you’re going to be fine.” I comb a hand through her hair.

A nurse walks in. “Hi there. How are y’all doin’?” she asks Lisa.

“I’m…fine…I think.”

“I’ll go call Doctor Kelsey.” She says, and leaves.

I lean in, searching her eyes. Her hand rises to touch my face. Her voice is still a whisper. “Kurt?”

“M…hm.”

“I’m sorry.” Her voice cracks. A tear falls down her cheek. I catch it with my thumb.

“Shhhh…baby.” I kiss her forehead, feeling a lump in my throat. I try to swallow it down before I speak to her. “You don’t...ever need to apologize, darlin’.”

Clint appears in the doorway. “Hey!” he says, sounding very happy to see that Lisa is awake.

I break away from her so that he can have a look at her. “How do you feel?” he asks, checking the gauges.

“Hungry.” She says.

He chuckles. “Well, that’s a good sign. You in any pain?”

“I feel some throbbing, but that’s all.”

“Well, you should.” Clint is matter-of-fact. “We removed a fibroid from your uterus…just about the size of your head.” He exaggerates.

“Did you take my uterus while you were at it?” her tone is facetious, like she regards it as being as important as a piece of garbage.

“Naw, that’s still in there, honey. We saved that. Gave you a load of blood, too. Laura’s got to redo her bathroom floor now, thanks to you. It’s a good thing that you’re an interior decorator.” He’s teasing her, and she knows it, based on the look that she’s giving him.

“When can I go home…not that I don’t enjoy your bedside manner.”

“Probably tomorrow. We have to run some tests, make sure you’re not going to bleed to death on us again.”

“You’re all charm.” She says, smacking him in the arm.

He leans in and kisses her on the forehead. “Glad you’re awake, kid. You had us all worried.”

We’re interrupted by Lisa’s parents, who seem to run in, being given the news. “Is she awake?” Mary’s face is alight with hope. “Oh, gosh, honey!” she gushes, seeing Lisa’s eyes open. She leans in and hugs Lisa tight. “Oh, baby, your daddy and I were so worried about you.”

Earl gets in there, and I move off to the side, so they can greet their daughter properly.

Laura is in a moment later. She must have been in the washroom or something. She gets in there, too, and it’s a veritable room full of love. I meet Grayson in the hall, as I take a step outside to give them space. “Hey, she awake?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “Just about ten minutes ago.”

“That’s good. That’s good.” He looks at me, as though I have a big gob of something on my face. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” I nod. “She’s fine.”

“And you?”

“I’m okay,” I can’t hide the little smile. “First thing she said when she opened her eyes was my name.”

“Sure she wasn’t saying ‘nurse’?” he teases. “They do sound similar.”

I chuckle but also hit him in the shoulder. “Quit being a buzzkill or I’ll tell your kid that you took tap lessons at age three.”

He tips his chin at me, as if I must be making it up, even though I’m not. “You weren’t even alive then, how do you know.”

“Mama told me.” I lift a brow. “She was trying to cheer me up once when you beat me up.”

“I’m sure it was for good reason.”

“Because you were beating up on your five-year-old brother, dimwit, and you were eight.”

“I was a small eight-year-old.”

“Yeah, parts of you were. Probably the same parts that are small now.”

Grayson barks out a laugh and then looks at me with a smile. “You move back to El Paso and I’ll kill you, you little son of a gun.”

“Yeah, well, looks like I’m getting more and more reason to stay now.”

Grayson looks at the door, listening to the din of noise going on in the room. “I’m going to give you the same advice you gave me not long ago, man.” He tilts his head and closes one eye for emphasis. “Women like that…don’t wait around forever.” He pauses. “You ought to scoop her up while you have the chance.”

I look at him. “You think I haven’t thought of that.” I lift my hand, pointing towards the room. “I’m not losing that girl ever again if I can help it.”

“And it doesn’t make a difference to you that she can’t give you kids?”

“Not a lick of it.” I nod. “We can adopt, or borrow a couple of your kids.”

“I’m only having one…at the moment.”

I scoff, looking at the ceiling. “I see it, man. Laura won’t even have this one weaned and you’ll be on to number two, or three, with how our family is. I bet that’s one of the first things you checked on that sonogram.”

He smiles, snorting a laugh. “God, this is scary.”

“What…how well I know you?”

He looks at me and nods. “Yeah.”