CHAPTER TEN
Ordinary Heroes
It is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD’s.
—1 Samuel 17:47
My favorite Bible story is David and Goliath, probably because it’s about the little guy (I can totally relate) who goes up against the giant and defeats him. I can’t imagine how terrifying it must have been for David to face Goliath—an enormous, trained, and skilled soldier. David had none of Goliath’s skills or size, and if anyone was betting, I guarantee no one was putting any money on him.
So what made David so heroic? What gave him the courage to go up against the toughest odds and the fiercest opponent? Faith. He knew he was called by God to defeat the great warrior, and he fought boldly in faith. I love this story because it relates so much to real life. We all have “Goliaths” in our lives. They may not be giant warriors. Maybe they’re not even people but are, instead, situations or circumstances. Whenever I find myself fighting against the odds, whenever I feel overwhelmed and outmatched, I turn to God to inspire me. Through Him, everything is possible. Didn’t He prove that with David?
This story also reminds me that anyone can be a hero. You don’t have to be born into it. You don’t have to have status or money or a fancy education. Everyone has their own definition of what it means to be a hero. I love Marvel Comics superheroes, but the tights and cape aren’t necessary to exhibit heroic qualities. In my mind, heroes are people I admire, look up to, respect, revere. People who, in the moment, do something selfless and noble, generous and genuine. They go out of their way to make a difference in someone’s life or the world as a whole, with little fear of what others might think or say.
As I’m writing this, I’m thinking to myself, This description fits my parents to a T. Yet neither of them would ever admit that. That’s another heroic quality: humility. My mom will tell you that I blessed her life more than she ever blessed mine. And my dad? He would shrug it off as “no big deal.” It was a big deal to me! When I think of how much my parents did to ensure I was happy, healthy, confident, and safe, I wonder, How can I fill those shoes? I don’t know, but I’ll try. I’ll try to live up to their examples when I’m a parent to my own kids.
My family is filled with heroes. When my brother Brian joined the navy, it certainly made him a hero in my eyes. I was about ten years old when we visited him on his ship when he was stationed in Virginia. For the record, since I was very young, I have always insisted on calling Brian “Bubba” and got flat-out offended when anyone else did the same. It was my nickname for him, no one else’s! Bubba would fight for me without me needing to ask—he has in the past. One time our whole family was shopping in a Sam’s Club, and some guy came over to us and made a nasty comment about “bringing a cripple out in public.” Bubba jumped at him, saying a few choice words, and my parents had to talk Bubba down.
My friend Grant would also fight for me. After I first moved to LA, I had a really tough time getting a job. I know! Me of all people! I love talking to people and am a highly efficient worker, so why on earth couldn’t I find a job for nine months? While I was living in Florida, I had no trouble at all. But in LA, I started to see a pattern evolving. I would interview, things would go well, and then nothing. They’d pass me over for someone else.
I asked Grant if he thought it was because people were afraid to hire someone in a wheelchair. Neither of us could believe that was the issue—it was such out-and-out discrimination. Then one day I called a store that was hiring, and the man on the phone told me to come right in. “You sound like the perfect candidate!” he told me enthusiastically.
When I got there, he took one look at me and paused. I know that pause. I know that look. Then he stammered, “Uh, let me go get a paper in the back.” I said okay, and then I waited . . . and waited . . . and waited. I looked around, and all the other employees were looking at me. One of them shook her head and said, “I’m so sorry.” I realized what was happening: he wasn’t coming back. He wasn’t even going to give me the opportunity to apply.
I think I literally had steam coming out of my ears. I flew out of the store in total shock. I had never been treated like that before. Grant had been waiting outside the store for me, and when I told him what had happened, he instantly got that look on his face.
“Wait!” I said, grabbing his arm. “Stop! Don’t do it!”
But it was too late—there was no holding him back. “I’m going in there,” he said. “You can either stay out here or come in with me.” Of course I went back in. I was afraid of what he might do, and the last thing I wanted was a big scene. Grant asked for the clerk, and he finally came out of hiding. They got into a huge argument in the middle of the store, and I was between the both of them, trying to referee. I couldn’t believe the clerk was arguing instead of apologizing! Amazingly, the other employees saw what was going on and spoke up in my defense. They weren’t on his side.
Well, a month or so later, Grant actually got hired at the store (go figure) and learned that the clerk had been fired after the incident! I just hope he took away something positive and learned a lesson from the experience. And I hope he reacts differently the next time. I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older to keep my temper in check. I never want to be the one pitching a fit or causing a scene. I feel that only feeds and fuels the stereotype that disabled people are too politically correct and difficult and sensitive. I know better ways to get a point across. But I have to admit, having Grant there to defend and stand up for me that day was kind of nice. I never have to worry—my friends have my back.
Not all heroes are strong defenders. Some are quiet, hidden champions we never know about or even notice. They are humbly and secretively awesome, and never brag about it. They don’t need to advertise it on a billboard or broadcast it over the internet. Many people give their time, money, and love to the less fortunate and ask for nothing in return—not even an acknowledgment. Those kind of people are my heroes—they are game changers and life changers. Others are heroes because they live their lives authentically—what you see is what you get. They will never change or hide who they are or what they believe to be popular or to meet the status quo. They speak their truths and inspire others to do the same.
I was introduced to Francis Chan’s writing in the beginning of 2010 when I first started going to Real Life church in Orlando. My community group read his book Crazy Love together. Francis is an amazing giver. He’s a pastor, a bestselling author, and the founder and chancellor of Eternity Bible College. He gives away about 90 percent of his income, doesn’t take a salary from his church, and has donated most of his book royalties to charities. Each week my group went through a different chapter, reflected on it, and discussed its relevance to our own lives. Then we watched Francis’s videos to take the study even deeper. That book opened my eyes to the concept of truly practicing what you preach. Francis is a hero to me because he leads a truly authentic life. He is on fire for God, and his passion helped ignite my own faith. His honesty and rawness are absolutely heroic to me, and he’s someone I’ve always wanted to meet in person. I would be blown away.
Another personal hero of mine is Nick Vujicic. He’s an Australian-born motivational speaker who was born with Phocomelia, a rare disorder that caused him to be born missing all four limbs. He grew up struggling, yet God helped him overcome many physical and emotional obstacles. God clearly wanted me and Nick to meet. In September 2014, I got a last-minute call to be a part of a red-carpet charity event in Dallas, Texas. The same night I flew in, the organizers of the event invited twenty or so of the participants to a big dinner in the hotel. I remember there was a very long table, and I slid all the way down to the middle so everyone else could pile in. A guy slid in next to me and introduced himself as Raymund King, Nick’s lawyer.
We started chatting, and he said, “This was totally meant to happen. This is a ‘God thing.’ You and Nick have got to meet.” I didn’t really know much about Nick, but I knew of him. Thanks to Raymund, a few weeks later Nick invited me to be his guest at a speech he was giving at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. When I entered the hotel, he was seated on the lobby couch, just chilling before this enormous event. I envy his coolness!
From the minute I met Nick, he was gracious, kind, warm, and an all-around awesome guy. Communication was very natural between us. We get each other on so many levels. Then he went into this huge conference space and introduced me to the crowd. I couldn’t believe it. I was so humbled and honored that he would take the time out of his speech to mention me! This was his day, his moment, and he wanted to share it. But that’s how Nick is—selflessly kind and generous with his life, his time, and his wisdom. We’ve since developed a great friendship, and he was even gracious enough to write the foreword for this book. He’s fully given his life to God for the true good of others. He’s a remarkable human being whom I am now proud to call a friend.
The Hero Inside
Sometimes you have to be your own hero. What I mean by this is that you have to fight for what you believe in and for what you want to happen. Don’t wait for a knight in shining armor to charge in and do it for you.
Maya Angelou, another one of my personal heroes, said, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” If you don’t like something in your life, then change it. If something is holding you back, then conquer it. If you’re unhappy, then do something to regain your joy. Trust me on this: Superman and Spidey may be otherwise occupied. Understand that your life is your own. It’s God’s gift to you. Be responsible for your choices, good and bad. It’s truly in your hands. You choose your behavior, and you choose how to handle the consequences. If you’re stuck, then get yourself unstuck. And before you use the word can’t, remember how I feel about that! You can and you should, and you owe it to yourself to live the happiest, fullest life possible. Is it easier to rely on others, to blame or hold them responsible for what’s wrong or missing in your life? Sure. Is it easier to make excuses and complain? Absolutely. But all of those things are cop-outs. You are responsible for what you do with your life. Will you be the person God wants you to be or a lesser version of yourself?
BELIEVE IT!