Noah stashed the last of the bags in the cargo area, checked the hitch and the bikes on the rack for the fifth time, and climbed into the driver’s seat.
“Everyone ready?” he asked.
“So ready,” Chris said from the front passenger seat. Jake and Melissa—the girl who’d asked Noah about Jake at the fall social—gave enthusiastic nods without pausing their conversation in the back.
Passing the Cisco/Moab scenic-route exit less than an hour later gave Noah an odd sense of déjà vu; he wasn’t driving the same route from the Mexico trip, but the scenery was still starkly beautiful. He wondered how Vanessa and the others were doing. He hadn’t had a chance to say goodbye, under the circumstances. Maybe he could reconnect with some of them if he ended up moving again.
“I’m happy to drive if you get tired,” Chris said, his wild hair brushing the car’s headliner.
“I think I’m good,” Noah said, “but I’ll let you know if I do.” It wasn’t likely. Not only was he hesitant to let anyone else drive his brother’s car, but the prospect of two days with Grace and Alec had him wide awake. At least he knew what he was getting into this time, unlike in Mexico.
Not that knowing made it any more appealing.
Chris kept him entertained during the drive with a running commentary on all rides Moab, lamenting that they could do only one.
“Honestly,” Noah said, “I doubt I’d be able to handle more than one day in the saddle—I haven’t been biking much.”
“It does take some getting used to.” Chris chuckled. “Hey, I think we’re getting close!”
Noah’s excitement to go adventuring in the town that had captured his imagination in the spring spiked as they passed highway signs for the Canyonlands and Arches National Parks and descended into the red cliffs and green valley of Moab. It seemed to welcome him back, and Noah’s spirits lifted in spite of his worries.
“I’ve heard the float trips out of Moab are awesome,” Jake said as they crossed the Colorado River bridge. The high canyon walls streaked with desert varnish called for Noah’s attention and made him wish someone else were driving, but Main Street and heavier traffic soon refocused him.
Tricked out ATVs, lifted Jeeps, and trucks loaded with dirt-coated motorcycles rolled past T-shirt boutiques, motels, bike shops, and breweries. People of all ages roamed the sidewalks, enjoying the warm evening and relaxed atmosphere.
“Wow,” Melissa said, pointing out yet another adventure-touting billboard. “If we hadn’t already decided what we were doing here, I don’t know how I’d ever choose.”
“Right?” Jake agreed.
Chris directed Noah onto a side street through a more residential-looking area, then up into the foothills east of town. The narrow, steep road put them right onto the rim of the sandstone cliffs, drawing a gasp of delight from Melissa as she looked back at the city below them. Noah caught only a glimpse as he drove.
An entrance station announced their arrival at the Sand Flats Recreation Area. They paid their fees and continued uphill past trailheads for Hell’s Revenge and Baby Lion’s Back.
“Look at that!” Jake said, pointing to the latter. A Jeep crept up a fin of sandstone steep enough that the vehicle appeared on the verge of rolling off the narrow ridge.
Melissa leaned across him to get a better look. “Ah! I don’t think I’d want to be inside there!”
The guys chuckled, and Jake assured her the ride was safer than it looked.
“Besides,” Chris said, “they have roll bars. Even if they roll, they’ll probably be fine.”
“Maybe,” she said, “but what about the poor Jeep?”
As they rounded a corner, domes of sandstone rose out of the desert soil, looking like great whales surfacing in a sandy ocean. Campgrounds surrounded by sagebrush and sparse trees dotted the flat areas near the road.
“There it is,” Chris said, voice reverent as they passed a large, nearly empty parking lot signed Slickrock Bike Trail. The sun setting on the western horizon behind the lot highlighted the Colorado Plateau and Moab Valley stretching before them and reminded Noah of the framed landscape in Matt’s apartment. They definitely needed to come back here together.
Much as Chris wanted to go check out the trail, they figured they’d better get a campsite first. The weekend crowd hadn’t thinned much, but they lucked out and found a site with a few trees big enough for hammocks and a bit of shade. Jake and Melissa clambered out and lowered the back seats so the gear could be unloaded without taking the bikes off the rack.
“Looks like the lovebirds are about an hour away,” Chris said, getting out of the car and slipping his phone back into his pocket. “I sent them a pin.”
One hour, Noah thought, annoyed by Chris’s label.
Setting up camp occupied his hands, if not his mind. Once the car was unloaded, they hung their hammocks and set up chairs around the firepit. Melissa was almost finished staking the tent she and Grace would share—with some unneeded but apparently welcome help from Jake—when The Couple arrived.
Alec hopped out first. “Party’s here!” he said, working his way around to Grace’s door just as she opened it.
Noah braced himself for the worst, but things weren’t completely terrible as they finished setting up and Chris lit a fire for their tinfoil dinners. He could almost pretend everyone was just friends, until the food was ready and Alec claimed Grace with an arm around her back as they sat together on a log.
Regardless, conversation flowed easily around everyone’s different adventures and travels, eventually landing on the trip to Mexico half the group had shared.
“That day at the beach was the best,” Alec said.
Grace agreed. “I think that’s where we really started connecting.”
Alec smirked. “I guess I shouldn’t have waited so long to ask you out after we got back.”
She smiled but wedged an elbow into his ribs, drawing a little grunt from him. “I meant with the kids.”
Everyone else laughed, including Alec, though his hold on her eased. It could have been the firelight, but Noah thought she flushed as she tucked a curl behind her ear and dropped her gaze into her lap.
Alec recovered quickly. “They were pretty great. What about—what was his name?—Alejandro?” He looked at Noah, who nodded. “You sure impressed him with your swimming, but I can’t believe what he was saying to you.”
“Good thing the nuns weren’t there to hear him,” Noah said.
Grace chuckled. “He did have a mouth, that one, but I’m sure it was all bravado. Lots of people hide their pain that way.”
“You work with troubled boys, right?” Melissa asked. “I bet some of them are rough.”
Alec squirmed.
“Our guys are pretty tame,” Grace said. “They get worked up once in a while, but the program rewards them for pro-social behaviors—like talking things out instead of punching a wall or another human—and all their privileges are tied to good behavior, so they learn to toe the line. We make sure they get exercise, enough rest, good food. All those things go a long way to promoting a safe environment—physically and emotionally—for everyone. And hopefully they form habits that stick after they leave and keep them from turning to alcohol or drugs when things get tough.”
Chris asked some questions about the outdoor experiences they provided for the boys, which Grace answered enthusiastically. Her love for her job and the boys was as obvious as Alec’s discomfort. Usually a force in any conversation, he remained silent.
At a lull in the conversation, Grace looked at Alec, who was staring resolutely into the fire, and then caught Noah watching her. Rather than look away as he ought to, Noah tried to convey with a smile how much he admired her work.
Her.
The worried expression Alec’s distraction had brought to her face softened for a moment before she threw a sidelong glance at her boyfriend and changed the subject. “Stars sure are bright.”
Melissa looked like she had another question about Grace’s work on the tip of her tongue, but she followed Grace’s lead and looked up. “Wow! Yeah, they are!”
“There’s the Big Dipper.” Grace pointed.
“Where?”
Grace leaned over so Melissa could follow the line of her pointing arm. “And if you follow the line of these two,” she said, “it leads you right to the North Star.”
“I can see it! That’s awesome!”
“And that leads you to the Little Dipper, right?” Chris asked.
“Right,” Grace said.
Jake leaned in on Melissa’s other side as Grace identified the Little Dipper and showed how Draco sat between Big and Little. Noah tried to follow along, but it was hard from the other side of the campfire, and he didn’t think Alec would appreciate him weaseling in next to Grace for a better angle.
Alec looked into the sky, though he didn’t seem too interested, and that gave Noah the opportunity to continue to watch Grace. The dying firelight highlighted her cheekbones and the contours of her smooth neck. Face alight, her eyes crinkled in pleasure as she guided her listeners through another constellation. Noah pictured how he would sit, were he the one next to Grace, his arm behind her back, her curls against his cheek—
Alec’s chin lowered, his attention landing squarely on Noah, who yanked his eyes off Grace a moment too late. “Well,” Alec said with an affected stretch, “I think that’s about all my neck can take.”
“It does get a little painful like this,” Grace said, rubbing a hand under her curly hair. “The best way to learn constellations is to lie down in a circle with your heads together and use a focused-beam flashlight, but I didn’t bring one.”
“Short walk before we turn in?” Alec asked her, reaching out his hand.
“Oh,” Grace said. “I guess it is about time, isn’t it?” She took Alec’s hand and stood, smiling apologetically at Jake and Melissa. “Sorry. I get carried away sometimes.”
“No, no,” Melissa said. “We shouldn’t have kept you so long. Thanks for the lesson!”
“Yeah, thanks!” Jake agreed, waving a good night as The Couple left, then asking Melissa to show him again what they’d learned. Their enthusiasm bore a marked contrast to Alec’s.
The fire popped, startling the remaining four. Melissa giggled and leaned back against Jake, their conversation quieting.
“Welp,” Noah said with a pointed look at Chris and a clap of his hands, “I guess I’ll turn in.”
Chris fake-yawned. “Big day tomorrow.” He joined Noah, walking away from the fire, and muttered, “Awkward.”
“Ha. No kidding.”
“See you in the morning,” Chris said, beelining to his hammock.
Noah lifted a hand and made a trip to the bathroom before sliding into his own hammock—another loan from Matt. The air was still warm, so he stayed on top of his bag, wondering how many years it would take for the stars to stop reminding him of Grace. He thumped his head a few times with his fist before allowing it to rest there, his arm stretched across his head.
His resolve was slipping.
Without the possibility of being with Grace to motivate him, it would be so easy to slip back into old habits. He gritted his teeth, promising himself he wouldn’t let that happen. She might have been the inspiration behind all the progress he’d made over the summer, but he hadn’t done it for her.
He’d done it for himself.
As hard as it would be to get her out of his head and heart, he resolved to stay the course without her.
Make it through tomorrow, he thought, and then I’ll figure out how.