20

Lucia

I rushed to the car and climbed in, closed the door behind me and locked it before feeling foolish for doing just that. It wasn’t like Jacob was going to pull the door off the hinges to stop me from leaving. I knew him well enough that he wasn’t that type of guy…

Wait. Did he really say that he loved me? It didn’t matter; he had hurt me again. The evidence of that was in the damp streaks on my face. In one last desperate attempt to see if he cared, truly cared, I glanced back at the front door. But he wasn’t tearing down the steps following me. The door remained closed. He really didn’t care about me. I was just a conquest, the “unfuckable” woman in the book whom he could use as evidence to prove himself to his teammates.

Starting the engine, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and drove away, wishing to God and everyone else that I had listened to my dad all those years ago and stuck to my rule. Then I wouldn’t be in so much pain right now.

I remembered the conversation he and I had had when I was sixteen and was starting to gain attention and looks from the players. “Don’t ever date any of these guys,” he had said with firm authority one day as we watched the team practice from his owner’s suite. “I mean it, Lucia. You probably think I’m overacting, trying to project my baby girl—and I know, I know, you aren’t a baby anymore; you’re turning into a young lady. But Lucia, they are not the type to settle down and raise a family. They will break your heart, and they won’t even look back. You will wish that you’d never laid eyes on any of them. So, please, for me honey, stay away from them, okay?”

I’d agreed, wanting to make him happy, wanting to erase that worry line from his face. “Okay, Daddy.” At that he’d put his arm around me and pulled me into a sideways hug.

He’d been so right. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and stomped on.

My phone rang and I picked it up, seeing Jacob’s number come across the screen. I ignored it and threw it down on the seat, letting it ring until my voicemail picked it up. I was not going to talk to him anymore. There was nothing that he could say to make this any better. I had the proof in the back pocket of my jeans. I could get them all fired if I showed it to my dad, but I knew going down that road would be going too far—doing something like that wasn’t me. I couldn’t be responsible for all those players losing their jobs. No, instead I would destroy it somehow, ’cause no woman in it deserved to be subjected to something that crude and distasteful.

The words they’d used to describe me played over and over in my head as I drove aimlessly around. I wasn’t untouchable or frigid, I was just careful with who I gave my heart to. I didn’t mind a bit of flirting, and until Jacob, I had considered all those guys off limits. Mainly because of my promise to my father and my professional ethics. But obviously I’d been too cold, too distant, too “stuck up”, and no one had even been brave enough to even approach me. Except Jacob.

I pulled up at a red light as my phone started ringing again. Grabbing it out of the seat, I pressed ignore and let it go to voicemail again. I wanted to chuck it out the window, but all of my contacts were in there, and I didn’t want to lose them. Instead I scrolled until I found Jacob’s contact information and deleted him from the list, feeling a small amount of satisfaction at doing so. I would start afresh and stay far away from players from now on.

“That asshole! To do that, eugh! That was low. And here I was pushing you into it—encouraging you to go to him,” Cara said as she banged her fist upon the table.

I polished off the last bite of my waffle with a sigh and pushed the plate away. Instead of the breakfast-brunch I thought I was going to have with Jacob that morning, I ended up going home, making mulch out of the flowers that had stared at me from the coffee table, then crawling into bed and crying my eyes out until I had felt like I had gotten it all out of my system. Then Cara had called, demanded that I got out of bed, and decided that she was going to take me out instead. Though it was late afternoon, she’d found an all-day breakfast café that served waffles and bacon and had picked me up from the house.

As bravely as I could and without too many tears, I explained what had happened last night and this morning, even showing her the offending book that had ruined what had started out as a good day. She flipped through it and then threw it on the table, disgusted with what she had seen. “What are you going to do now? Maybe we should burn it. Or, even better, maybe you should give it to your father. That’ll teach those sons of bitches!” she said with scorn.

“I don’t know, but I won’t do that,” I said honestly, fiddling with a napkin to keep myself occupied.

“Yeah, you’re probably right… karma would turn around and bite you on the ass instead.”

“Eugh, but how can I show my face around work now considering all the players are not coming to my appointments? And now that I know about that thing, I don’t want them to, either. They must all laugh at me behind my back. I’m so screwed.”

“Have you given any thought to my offer?” she asked as the waitress brought our checks. “I found this perfect space near the coast that’s relatively inexpensive, and it’s in a great location. There are three offices, so if in the future we wanted to add another partner, we could. Plus there’s an apartment above it that I was thinking of taking, too. And, that’s not all… if you ever want to move out of that guest house, there’s a spare room with your name on it.”

I bit my lip, thinking of what I would have to do in order for that to happen. I would have to go to my father and talk about what wasn’t working, admit that I was a failure even after he’d gone through all the trouble of creating the position for me. But at least the players and the coaches would be ecstatic to see me leave. “I don’t know,” I said slowly, looking at her.

“Come on, Lucia, this is the perfect time for a new start.”

“But I would feel like a complete failure if I just walked away.”

“You’re not a failure, you’re just re-evaluating your goals. You’re not a failure unless you give up, and this won’t be giving up. You’ll be taking a new direction instead,” Cara announced, reaching across the table to touch my arm. “Please, don’t let one guy dictate the rest of your life. That goes for your father, too. If you want to stay at the stadium, then I will support you one hundred percent, but I worry that if you do, you’ll be stuck in a toxic environment with nothing but failure in sight.”

“Me too,” I sighed, looking at the little black book as my stomach twisted nervously, nausea rising in my throat. I forced it down and took a sip of my water.

“Well, just think about it, but I think you are doing the right thing cutting this guy out of your life,” Cara decided. “He’s not worth your time or your effort. And I am so sorry that I even gave you any advice on him to start with.”

I wanted to tell her that Jacob wasn’t such a bad guy, but the words would not form on my tongue. Maybe I was deluding myself. I had hoped that he was one of the good ones, the gem amongst the rocks, but I had been dead wrong. The nausea came back and I excused myself, rushing to the bathroom just in time to upchuck every morsel I had just eaten. Great. Now I was getting sick on top of everything else.

When I got back to the table, Cara was looking at me suspiciously. “Are you okay?” she asked. I nodded and grabbed my check, wanting to just go home and rest before the weekend was over. I was literally drained from everything that had happened. “Yeah I’m fine, just tired. Think I’m coming down with a bug, though.”

“Okay, maybe we should get you some soup and fluids before I take you back home? Knowing you, you probably haven’t shopped for weeks,” Cara replied as she grabbed her check as well. We exited the booth and walked up to the register to pay. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, are you using a new moisturizer or bronzer? It looks really good—you’ve got a nice glow.”

I gave her a wan smile, my heart pounding in my ears. I wasn’t using anything new. A fleeting thought crossed my mind, and I dismissed it immediately. No, that couldn’t be the case; me coming down with the flu and being sick combined with a facial glow didn’t warrant that train of thought. Besides, I was on the pill, and we’d used protection… hadn’t we?