FOREWORD BY LUKE JOHNSON

Most of us know that the secret to success is confidence. Good looks, intelligence, qualifications – all these help, but with many of the highest achievers I’ve met, their greatest asset has been their world class chutzpah.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t possess such bountiful self-assurance. We are racked with doubts. We focus too much on the losing shots, not our aces. So Robert Kelsey has written a book for the rest of us, everyone who lacks confidence, who can be too self-critical, who isn’t sure if they’re up to it or going to make it. And I think it’s a winner.

The truth is that such feelings are self-fulfilling. Just as the confident person creates the mental conditions for their own success, the person who lacks confidence creates the mental conditions for their lack of progress. This makes fear of failure a debilitating condition but also one where improvement is possible, not least because failure is the very thing that confident people don’t fear. As Robert Kelsey proves, the ability to fall flat on your face without it undermining your desire to keep trying is perhaps the most important quality those high-chutzpah types possess.

Certainly, success is not about being ambitious – that’s easy. It’s about overcoming adversity. And in my experience, what separates the winners and the losers in life is how they handle disappointment. Achievement in any field is impossible without setbacks. What separates the field is not the setback, however, but the response to it.

This book offers help to those that, up until now, have been stymied by setbacks – indeed, may have even avoided participation for fear of encountering a setback. Yet the great point of the author’s advice is that it is both philosophical with regard to the nature of fear and its impact on achievement, and practical. For those who may be paralyzed by a fear of failure, it offers a way through – not through the impractical nonsense of many self-help books, but through step-by-step advice on the fears that attack us at each stage, and how we can think and act differently for a better outcome. The remarkable sales of the first edition of this book are proof that Robert’s message has resonated with thousands of readers.

The author has not invented a new philosophy or programme for living. Rather he has summarized the contents of scores of relevant self-help books – picking the bits that work, ignoring the elements that don’t. His aim is to create a tailored route for those who may simply be trying to avoid failure – helping them get a better result. There are, after all, reams of such volumes in print. And while some are useful, many of them are not. The author has covered the waterfront, and has selected the most useful and reliable advice from his research of hundreds of psychologists, therapists and self-help gurus.

What’s Stopping You? is also a highly personal book. The author talks in depth about his career journey, how he overcame his own demons by studying the literature, by really analyzing his own issues, and by developing techniques to deal with them. Sometimes amusing, sometimes cringing, sometimes painful – his own experiences add to the impression that this is a book written from the heart, even if it is aimed squarely at the head.

Robert Kelsey is a rare beast because he runs his own business – but he can also actually write. He participates and he also reports – and thinks deeply about the challenges. Word processing has enabled everyone to churn out reams of material. But few who tackle these types of subjects actually have any literary ability: in reality their prose style can be awful. Poor writing makes a book hard to read and difficult to remember – and more than anything I enjoyed reading this book. And that makes a difference when so many business and self-help books are bought and never read – partly because they are essentially unreadable. But Mr Kelsey’s text is highly enjoyable and eminently fluent.

Not all the tips here will work for everyone. But there is a sufficient range of topics for any reader – and especially any reader that has suffered from a debilitating lack of confidence – to find something relevant to their situation: from goal setting to handling work colleagues, from discovering your true values and motivations to starting a business.

So I wholeheartedly endorse this book, and encourage the casual reader to put it on their bedside table and browse it at regular intervals: for inspiration, for understanding, and for pragmatic advice. I’ve enjoyed reading it, and I think you will too.

Luke Johnson
Chairman of Risk Capital Partners and the Royal Society for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufacturers and Commerce