PREFACE TO THE SECOND EDITION

I had high hopes for What’s Stopping You? when it was first published in April 2011. But I also nursed many doubts. As a High-FF (all explained within), this was perhaps inevitable. Fear of failure makes our doubts cast long shadows over our hopes and, before long, we are sabotaging ourselves with our negative self-beliefs.

For those with a high fear of failure this is a well known cycle. And one that, usually, results in arrested endeavour – potentially followed by frustration, depression, anger and resignation. Well not this time. Encouraged by my agent (Isabel Atherton at Creative Authors), my publisher (Holly Bennion at Wiley) and my wife (Lucy), I took the plunge. I wrote about the fears and doubts and insecurities that have plagued me since childhood, and about the research I’ve undertaken over many years to try and fathom out my condition.

What’s Stopping You? is the result and, so far, its reception has bowled me over. Originally published in April 2011, the book reached Number One in a major retail business book chart around May and stayed there until January 2012. It also won positive reviews, professional praise and, literally, hundreds of emails from readers that felt the book spoke to them personally and was helping them understand their condition and plot a more productive path.

Fear of failure is a mass condition, although one that often goes unrecognized in sufferers. And, after reading the book, many of those writing to me expressed the feeling that they now felt equipped for the (far from easy) journey ahead. They better understood the fears and doubts that prevented them making progress in their careers and personal pursuits and were more willing to accept who they were, including their own faulty wiring. And this realization was helping them chart a more sustainable, as well as positive, path ahead. It was also helping them deal with the inevitable barriers along the way.

As stated within, praise is a valuable currency for those with fear of failure, so my heartfelt thanks to those that offered it.

The book’s warm reception and strong sales has led to this second edition. In some cases the new edition tackles the “constructive criticism” offered by readers (usually a contradiction in terms for the High-FF). Though mainly it includes additional content based on reader requests. Primarily, this means the inclusion of 19 case studies. Mostly, these are people who contacted me following publication, although I do occasionally take a punt on a well-known or historical name, highlighting behaviour that is useful for illustrating the book’s needs.

Another addition to this edition is the Seven Steps to Navigating Fear of Failure. To be honest, I shied away from adding exercises in the original book. In my view, too many self-help books lapse into pointless and even nonsensical exercises, almost as an alternative to constructive prose aimed at understanding our frailties. “Say ‘I am loved and I am loveable’ in the mirror 25 times each morning” – that sort of thing (an actual exercise in one of my source books, I kid you not) – will soon have the reader feeling confused and mildly humiliated, which is exactly the sort of emotion High-FFs spend their lives avoiding. And, anyway, I was writing primarily for a British market (by which I mean for the Brits’ natural reserve more than our geographical location) that may find such emotionally charged and self-regarding activities, frankly, silly.

That said, the book’s stated aim is to help readers draw their own map of the future – something authentically theirs as they forge their own path through the jungle. This, indeed, involves “exercises” such as calculating our true values and visualizing ourselves in 10 years’ time. So I’ve added a final section that summarizes these needs. This means that the narrative of the book remains – allowing the reader to absorb the text in the knowledge that any required proactivity on their part will be handily reiterated at the end.

There are also some amendments to the narrative itself – mostly based on reader feedback. For instance, entrepreneurship is far from the only Me Inc. route, so there are added sections on freelancing and franchising or simply on adopting a new attitude within your current employment. And I have been more exploratory regarding High-FF traits – especially my own – many of which (such as rebelliousness in childhood) are far from obvious.

So please keep the feedback coming (via my website at www.robert-kelsey.co.uk). Or perhaps attend one of my “fear of failure” events. But most of all please keep pursuing an understanding of who you are, which should be part of a process towards accepting yourself – including your insecurities – and navigating your way towards a better future.

Robert Kelsey, recovering High-FF