CHAPTER 2

Mum is always on the lookout for weird contests to enter.

That’s because my family has weird skills that are only useful for winning stuff in weird contests.

Like Mum is great at guessing how many things fit into other things …

Last year, she entered a jellybean guessing competition …

When Granddad’s robotic ear is working, he has super-dooper hearing.

One time, Granddad guessed the secret sound on the radio …

We won and we bought Granddad a new set of teeth!

His old ones were falling  ap a r t!

Sally’s really good at hoopla.

When she grows up

she could get a job as a rhino catcher for the zoo.

Now Mum has entered Dad into a Talent Quest at the mall. The prize?

Not money.

Not jellybeans.

Not even teddy bears!

The prize:

A year’s supply of DOG FOOD!

‘But we don’t even have a dog!’ I said to Mum.

My mum says ‘Just in case!’ a lot. It’s true, in our garage we have a camel’s saddle, just in case we ever buy a camel.

We also have an anchor, just in case we ever buy a ship.

We even have some jeans that are eight sizes too big, just in case Dad starts eating too much.

Dad’s going to dance at the Talent Quest so he’s been practising a lot!

You might remember some of his

moves.

He’s added some ones, too!

All of us are helping him.

Granddad showed him how to do the itchy bottom squirrel.

Mum showed him the pick up empty cans.

I showed Dad one, too. I called it the

Next I showed him the killer whale.

Dad loved them all!

‘Do you think I’m in with a chance?’ he asked us.

‘For sure!’ we all said.

‘Woof woof!’ said Blockhead, our bird.

‘Farter!’ said Roger. ‘Farter! Farter!’

That’s right, every time Roger tries to say ‘father’, it still comes out sounding like ‘Farter’!

Dad does fart a lot. If he can dance as well as he farts,

that

is ours!