Will walked agitatedly past the bookstore, the butcher shop, and then the post office. He wasn’t quite sure what more he needed. He had bought garden tools, seeds, and socks. All was packed away in his wagon, and yet he continued to walk. Maybe it was because his mind was muddled with confusion; he had no idea what to write for tomorrow’s sermon. He admitted that he wanted Abby’s advice. His best sermons had been guided by her insight, but he had avoided her the past week. Will knew why. It was simple: he’d fallen in love with her. Somehow it had snuck up on him. The little schoolteacher with her giggles and big gray eyes, she was the complete opposite of the composed stately woman he had pictured himself with.
Now he was unsure. She was what he wanted, but was he what she wanted? After all, she was a gorgeous woman with a father who owned a large and lucrative ranch—what would she want with a pastor who only had a small farm and an old Bible to offer? He could say love was enough, but every father with a beloved daughter would scoff at that. He could give up being a pastor and move to Texas, but he knew nothing about raising cattle. Besides, a pastor was what he had been called to be. During the whole course of his life his father had engraved it in him to make money, no matter what it took—being a man of God was pointless. Will still had studied to be a pastor. It had felt right, and that was how Abby’s presence felt—right.
Will inhaled deeply; the smell of autumn was crisp and refreshing and calmed his nerves. He had to realize that just because he never earned his father’s good opinion did not mean he could not earn Abby’s, although Abby seemed to have a good opinion of everybody. How could he distinguish himself from everybody else?
Will was so immersed in his thoughts that he bumped shoulders with a man as tall as he.
“Excuse me, I was not watching where I was going,” Will politely said, not wanting to offend—a trait he was trying to work on. The man glanced over and Will saw it was Joseph, Abby’s brother.
Was Abby with him?
“Pastor Will, you look like a man with a lot on his mind.” Joseph slapped him on the shoulder as if he were a kid. Will didn’t know if he should be offended or not. He chose to ignore the slap.
“I do, as a matter of fact. What are you doing in town?”
Joseph looked around squinting, “Looking for a hat for a young boy.”
“Michael?” Will guessed. He, like everyone else, had seen the way Joseph looked at Esther. Though everyone smiled and gossiped, no one had the heart to tell him it was futile trying to court her.
“Yes, Michael! I know the shoe shop and I see places for dresses, fabric, books, and groceries but no hats.”
Will pointed across the way. “You see that supply store? It has plows, shovels, whips, and hats. That is, I am assuming you are looking for a rancher’s hat, and not one with lace and flowers,” Will teased.
Joseph grinned. “No, I don’t think Michael would appreciate lace and flowers.”
They were about to part ways with a nod when Sheriff Ben joined them on the corner. “Good day, gentlemen,” he greeted, nodding at Will and turning to Joseph. “I don’t think we have had the pleasure of officially meeting. I’ve seen you at the Sunday picnics and my wife Lucinda has mentioned seeing you when she takes the children to school.”
Joseph stuck out his hand and the two men shook firmly, “Joseph Silver, older brother to Abigail.”
“Ahh yes, our fine school teacher. She is doing wonders. You and your parents should be proud.”
“That we are, Sheriff,” Joseph said, glancing at the bakery. Will followed his gaze to see Abby emerging next to Eliza. Abby was talking gaily, as usual, and looked especially radiant and fairy-like. Her hair hung in ringlets down her back and her frock was soft, allowing him to make out the form of a lithe and feminine form. He barely heard what Sheriff Ben and Joseph were talking about, something about Rangers and Sheriffs, crime in Texas versus crime in Colorado. A fragment of his brain kept him nodding and making sounds of agreement, but his main attention was on the ethereal girl holding a pastry bigger than her hands. She seemed to be examining it as a scientist would examine a rare species. Eliza was laughing at her. Eliza herself was looking finer and finer by the day. Odd how that could happen to a person.
“Pastor,” Sheriff said loudly, snapping Will out of his Abby-induced trance.
“Hmm, sorry, I have a lot on my mind,” Will said weakly.
The Sheriff glanced across the street at Abby with a superior smirk. “Ahh, I see. You do have a lot on your mind.”
Joseph smothered a laugh with a cough and Will thought he ought to crack both men’s heads together.
“Pastor,” Joseph addressed him still grinning, “please tell my sister that I will meet her in the book shop and not the dress shop.”
Before Will could say yes or no, Joseph excused himself. The Sheriff gave one last chuckle at Will before shaking his head amusingly and walking away.
/
“This is amazing!” Abby stared at the wondrous flaky pastry that was stuffed with a sweetened creamy cheese and apricots. “How does he make it so stuffed without breaking the light shell?”
Eliza shrugged, still feeling flustered as she always did when she was around Kyle Lampton. “I couldn’t say. However, I do need to get back to my shop. Lunch time is over,” Eliza said, thinking about all her beautiful dresses. Kyle had asked her what she would be wearing to the dance with him, and she had not been able to reply. Eliza had never worn an especially pretty dress or done up her hair in a fancy way other than a simple bun. With her looks she felt it would seem ridiculous and desperate if she tried too hard.
“Oh, your dress shop is so lovely. Such a variety of beautiful and yet wearable clothing,” Abby complimented.
Eliza gave a slight nod of shy gratitude. “That’s what I try to keep. It’s hard finding a balance between constrictive fashion and wearable clothing. Women out here work hard, but they also want to look pretty.”
Abby thought of this for a moment. To her, clothes had either been practical or pretty. The two never meshed, but Eliza was right: women out here couldn’t be wearing stiff-necked, thick-laced things, yet most of the women looked lovely and put together, if not fancy.
“Eliza, would you say most of my clothing is a little, well, suffocating?”
Eliza snorted. “Miss Abigail, you have some very fine dresses. But most of them do over-shine you. I tell ladies when they come in that they want to be the focus, not the dress. The dress is to emphasize them. I will say though, that you are dressing more and more becomingly.”
“It’s not like I had much of a choice. All my blouses and dresses are burned or stained due to my failed cooking attempts,” she laughed at herself. “Still, I would like something that made me look especially nice.” She paused thinking of Will, “—for the barn dance, to be precise. Some of my nicest things I have given away to some of the mining mothers who have to travel a bit longer to reach town. Of course, they simplify them.”
Eliza huffed a laugh, “I’ve noticed some of them looking especially nice. It is amazing how a nice dress can persuade one to do their hair and powder their nose, isn’t it?” Eliza looked at Abby with the same concentrated eye she used for her customers, examining her color, body, features, and general look. Most were surprised that Eliza had an eye for what looked good on a woman, but once they took her advice they fully admitted that she had a gift. “I think I know what I would dress you in. You have time to come by?”
“Oh yes, I would love your help. I don’t want to go looking like a peacock, which is sometimes my downfall. So yes, I will come by.”
“All right, Miss Abigail,” Eliza chuckled. “I will be seeing you soon then.”
Abby nodded, “Oh yes, but in a few minutes most likely. I just don’t want to carry this among all those fine clothes.”
Eliza laughed, “I appreciate that.” She gave a polite bow of the head and wandered off. Abby decided to find a nice bench and enjoy her pastry; Joseph would need a few things and so she had plenty of time. She was just about to walk over to a nice sunny spot when, to her amazement, she saw Will walking towards her. Her pulse quickened as she frantically tried to compose something witty and amusing to say.
“Good afternoon, Miss Abigail,” Will took off his hat, thank goodness. She loved his reddish brown, sun-kissed hair, and his taunt muscles didn’t hurt either.
“Hello, Will,” was all she could manage to say.
“Your brother told me to tell you that he would meet you in the book shop and not the dress shop.” He eyed the pastry, “Are you going to eat all that?” he asked incredulously.
Yes, every bite.
“No!” she answered quickly with a scoff as if the idea was ludicrous…“Only half.”
Will’s lips curled, seeing right through her blundering lie. “Only half?”
Abby blushed. “Fine, I was going to eat all of it, but I will have you know that I have not had breakfast and with Joseph, the food flies by. I hardly eat at all these days.”
Will laughed and motioned for her to walk with him over to a quaint little bench under a small tree. “Abby, I will find it impressive if you can eat all that.”
“You know I can’t now, because first I will be self-conscious eating it all in front of you, and now I must share so I don’t look like a dominant puppy growling over my share of food,” she said as seriously as she could.
Will threw his head back with one of his deep rumbling laughs. How Abby loved that laugh, even if it had mocked her so many times. It was rich and full of life and was infectious and now it made her skin tingle. “Abby, my goodness you make me laugh,” he leaned back still chuckling.
Abby frowned. She made him laugh? Was that a good thing? Was she special because of it, or did he mean that she made him laugh the way a child might amuse him? Shrugging to herself she gently tore the delectable pastry in half and handed it to him. “You have to eat some so that I can eat my share comfortably.”
Will shrugged and bit into the pastry. “Well, if it’s to make you more comfortable,” he said with his mouth full.
She nodded, her nose in the air to emphasize she was right. The pastry was rich and creamy. Kyle Lampton was a downright wizard when it came to baked goods. Abby glanced over at Will, his smooth lips moving gently as he chewed. What would it be like to have those lips on hers? Would it be awkward? Wonderful? Had he kissed many girls before? She herself had shared only a few little kisses in the moonlight, but nothing to gossip about. Will did not seem like the type of man who would do a soft peck. With his temper she imagined his kiss would be like fire, wild and passionate—like in the books she read. Her hopelessly romantic mind pictured herself in a Renaissance dress standing on a cliff looking over the ocean with Will riding up in an open white shirt, a sword at his side and—
“Abby?” Will asked, noticing a sort of dazed expression on her face.
Abby flinched. “Oh, I was just thinking about—” she paused, you and me kissing.
“About what?” he asked curious.
“Uhh, Thanksgiving,” she blurted, grasping for any previous thought she’d had.
“Thanksgiving?” Will tilted his head and took another generous bite.
“Yes. You see, I have been trying to figure out a way to encourage more friendships among the children from the mining community and the children of both the farmers and tradesmen. I thought, considering school will most likely end in December, that we should have a Thanksgiving play.” Abby had actually just fabricated the idea while talking to Will. Now, as the words fell from her mouth, her eyes grew wide: it was actually a great idea. In truth, she had wanted to do something to build better relationships between the children, but nothing had come to mind. Will’s prying into her thoughts was truly heaven sent. She would be putting on a Thanksgiving play.
“A play?” Will asked with an amused twitch in his lips. “You mean with Pilgrims and Indians?”
“Pilgrims, Indians, costumes. Esther has been promising to teach me how to sew, and I have so much useless clothing that it would not cost a thing. I could talk to Eliza about playing the piano, Esther could help direct it, and Kyle Lampton could bake pies and cakes.” She began naming various people who could help out in order to make it a great event. She was getting excited. She’d always been one who liked social events but had never thought about organizing one for a good cause.
A waste of talent, Abby thought to herself. She was going to use the talent she had and put on the perfect Thanksgiving play. The children would love it.
“I think a Thanksgiving play is a great idea!” Will nodded. “In fact, I’ll help you with it,” he found himself offering even though he had told himself that he should distance himself from Abby until he was sure of her feelings.
“Really?” Abby clapped her hands. “That would be wonderful! We can practice every day and have the children write their own script as part of their writing curriculum.”
“Talking about how our country was settled could cover history,” Will offered, starting to share Abby’s excitement.
“And we could use the number of turkeys and guests for math,” Abby’s voice was several pitches higher and her cheeks glowed with enthusiasm. She stuck out her hand with a grin, “Partners?”
Will chuckled and took the smooth hand, enveloping it in his own. “Partners.”
Abby’s skin heated up. Oh, she liked the sound of that. Liked how he said it with a twinkle in his eyes, and loved how his strong hand wrapped around hers like a glove that was too big, but somehow fit just right.
Please don’t let go, she silently pleaded.
For a moment Will simply stared at her with an unreadable expression. His lips parted and his gaze dropped to their hands as if he might say something important. A current sparked between them.
Was he going to kiss her?
“Why, Pastor Will—is that you?” came a high-pitched voice. Will’s expression fell in disappointment as he looked past Abby to an approaching figure. A curvy young woman with an expensive looking dress and a hat that took up half the street walked towards them. As she approached Abby saw that it was Rachel Nelson, the banker’s daughter. Something told her that this blond showing an abundance of unnecessary bosom, inappropriate and not the fashion, Abby noted, was not a simple acquaintance of Will. She had seen Rachel throw herself at Will every Sunday.
“Why, Pastor Will! I have been hoping to run into you,” she said with a wide smile that revealed a whole set of straight teeth.
Will politely stood up. “Good day, Miss Rachel,” he glanced at Abby who also stood up and plastered on a polite smile. “You know the school teacher, Miss Abigail Silver? Miss Abigail this here is Miss Rachel Nelson, the banker’s daughter.” He introduced them with a low voice, not making eye contact with either woman.
“Oh, the little schoolteacher,” Rachel exclaimed superiorly. “It is a great pleasure to meet you. I see you every Sunday but have never officially been introduced to you.”
You’ve made no effort to meet me. In fact you’ve avoided it. Abby nodded, “Likewise.”
“Will often talks about you. He says that you are just too amusing to watch,” she said.
“Amusing?” Abby looked at Will, her eyebrows knitted together. She felt hurt. It was not unknown to her that she could be bubbly and talkative, but did Will really think of her as an amusing girl and not a woman? Not a woman who was smart and good, who might even make a fine pastor’s wife?
Will blushed. “I merely said that the first week you were here that is was obvious you had never taught,” he gulped, “but you caught on so quickly.”
“He did say ‘amusing’ though. Said it was so funny to watch you, and I can see why. You are just so cute, like a little doll.” Rachel giggled.
Abby was too hurt to be angered by Rachel. She looked down at her pastry. Maybe she was merely viewed as a silly girl and not a woman. She would never be like Esther, maybe not even like her own mother. She would always be the chatty, flighty girl from Texas’ social elite.
“Anyway, Will, I just wanted to remind you of what time to pick me up for the barn dance next week,” she told him while casting a snake-eyed look at Abby who now felt like a fool.
“Oh,” Will stammered, “you are still able to go?” he asked, hoping that it would sound as if he had asked her some time back.
“Well of course, silly. You only just asked me the other day.”
Abby didn’t want to hear another word. “Excuse me. Miss Rachel it was a pleasure, but I promised Eliza I would be stopping by.” Rachel began to say something, but Abby walked off as quickly as she could, biting her lower lip.
Don’t you dare cry Abigail Silver. You are stronger than that.
/
Michael bounded out of the house when the little white carriage pulled up.
“Uncle Tim and Aunt Lily are here!” he shouted back at Esther who was pulling pork chops and apples from the oven.
“Tell them to come in, sweetheart.” She stood up and stretched her back. Aunt Lily and Uncle Tim would be leaving after the Harvest Festival to New Orleans. Esther would be taking over a few patients who needed home visits as well as feeding their beloved cats.
“Esther, what are you cooking?” Uncle Tim walked briskly into the kitchen, his face lighting up at the sight of apples and pork. “You know I didn’t ask for dinner when I told you we would be stopping by?”
Esther winked. “Did you already eat dinner?”
Uncle Tim scoffed, “Of course not…not when I knew there would be a chance you’d be cooking.”
Esther shook a wooden spoon at him. “You are a cunning one, Uncle.”
Aunt Lily joined them, her eyes brightening as supper’s aroma washed over her. “Mmm, what a wonderful smell. Too bad they can’t turn pork into a perfume,” she chuckled.
Michael bounded in and tugged on his uncle’s sleeve. “Do you want to come see my new book?” he asked. Uncle Tim said he would and the two left the kitchen after Uncle Tim sampled a bite.
Esther shook her head with amusement. Another week had passed. Joseph supposedly had ordered a present for Michael from Denver. The shopkeeper said he would be picking up merchandise in the city and would bring Joseph what he needed, but for a higher cost. Joseph had agreed and then had bought a little picture book for Michael until the better present came. Joseph continued to inquire about Toby. Esther, having learned her lesson, kept the details of Mary and Toby minimal. Michael had received another riding lesson in which Esther found out a little more about Joseph, his likes, dislikes, fun stories about his work, and so on. The poor Ranger had still tried relentlessly to ask Esther about herself, but after the last incident she was very careful to not reveal anything too intimate.
“What are you thinking, my dear?” Aunt Lily asked as she pulled out the plates to set the table.
Esther looked up with a small shake of the head. “Oh, just about, um, Michael.”
Aunt Lily gave her a hard look. “You are a good mother, Esther. I hope you know that.”
Esther tossed Aunt Lily a grateful look, “I hope so. So often I feel that I fall short.”
“I have noticed that handsome Ranger being awfully kind to Michael on Sundays. I’ve also noticed he seems mighty attentive to you. Doesn’t even give any of the other sighing females a glance.”
Esther began vigorously stirring a sauce to drizzle over the pork and apples. “I worry that Joseph thinks there may be a chance for him and me,” she sighed feeling a little sad suddenly, and yet again she found her lips smiling despite herself. When Joseph had showed up for Michael’s riding lesson, he had brought a bouquet of flowers for Esther and she had loved it while also being highly embarrassed and flustered.
“And does he have a chance?” Aunt Lily asked unabashedly.
Esther looked up with surprise. How could Aunt Lily even ask that question? She knew what Esther had gone through. “No, of course not—I—you know I can’t marry!”
“Can’t?” Aunt Lily asked.
“Yes, I can’t. There are too many complications and too many changes that would have to happen.”
“Change is not always bad, Esther,” Aunt Lily paused setting the table and turned to face her niece.
“It is if you have worked hard to make a life—a happy life.”
Aunt Lily bit her lip, pondering the conversation for a few seconds. “You know Esther, your mother and I did not have the most, well, supportive of mothers. She allowed our father to be harsh with us in both word and in body. I still remember going to school trying to cover the bruises on my arms and occasionally my face. Your mother learned to be quiet. She learned to be submissive so as to not anger our father and mother. Her outcome was marrying a man exactly like our parents. I, on the other hand, became aggressive—wild in word and morals.” Aunt Lily’s usually bright eyes clouded over. “My body was no longer my own. I am not saying my experience was as awful as yours, but at least you have the dignity to know that your values were intact. Mine, on the other hand, were handed out with my consent. It created a horrible self-loathing.”
Esther froze, shocked by her aunt’s revelation.
“Finally, I found God. I got my life cleaned up, took a job as a waitress, and paid my way through school to become a nurse. I never looked back. I kept going and eventually met your uncle.”
Esther had had no idea about her aunt’s past. Her own mother had said Aunt Lily was wild, but Esther had assumed that she was simply referring to Aunt Lily’s wild ideas of women voting, having equal rights, working outside the home, and such, not that Aunt Lily had lived a wild life.
“Aunt Lily, my goodness, I had no idea. You are such a godly and good woman.”
Aunt Lily shrugged nonchalantly, “That is because the past is the past. I figured if God could forgive it then I should, too. We are taught to forgive others and that includes ourselves. I tell you this Esther because had I held on to my past, my mistakes, my bitterness and fears, I would not have had the full life that I’ve experienced. One thing I have learned as a nurse is that every human being has a past—they have scars and traumatic experiences. Those who can move on become happy and those who don’t eventually become empty like.”
Esther nodded. “Do you not think though, that some things are just too hard to move past?”
Aunt Lily began setting the table again. “I think some wounds take longer to heal than others. And it is not our job to tell God when to heal them or how.”
Esther poured the sauce over the pork. “Wise words from a wise woman.”
Aunt Lily laughed and shook her head. “No, experienced words from an experienced woman.”
/
Joseph had no idea what was wrong with his sister. She’d changed her outfit six times yesterday, redone her hair three times this morning, burnt rolls and dropped a pan of buttery pancakes for breakfast.
“Stupid pancakes! I should just cancel dinner with Esther. I’ll only make a fool out of myself.”
Now it was getting serious. “You can’t cancel with Esther. Michael will be so disappointed,” he argued, walking into the kitchen to help her.
“Well, Michael has a good mother so he will be fine. A good mother who everybody likes and respects and a mother who even my own brother wants to marry,” Abby blurted out and tossed down the wet rag, putting her hand over her face with a shaky sigh.
Joseph sighed and sat down on the kitchen floor with her. “This isn’t about the pancakes is it?” he asked. He did not know a whole lot of women, but he did know that they were a confusing species.
“No,” Abby whimpered.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked hesitantly.
“No!” Abby cried.
Joseph nodded, relieved, and began to help her silently.
“You don’t want to know why?” Abby asked as if he had done something wrong.
Joseph looked down. “Alright Abby, what is wrong?” He sat down again. “I want to hear.”
“Will asked another girl to the barn dance and,” she bit her lip, “I like him—really like him—possibly love him.”
Joseph blinked. His socialite sister had fallen for the poor pastor? Life was indeed grand. “Have you told him that?”
Abby looked shocked. “Of course not! How can I tell him I love him if I don’t even know how he feels about me?”
Joseph shrugged, “Abby, he either does not know you are interested and so is pursuing other women, or he’s just not interested in you.” Joseph said, pleased that he could help.
Abby’s bottom lip quivered. “I knew it! He doesn’t like me. He thinks me a foolish, silly girl—no, worse, he thinks me amusing.”
Joseph stood up abruptly. “Abby, stop please. I think you should talk to Esther. I am sure she will know what to say.”
Abby made a frustrating growl, “I love Esther, but why is she so right all the time and so desirable.”
Joseph smiled. Esther was indeed desirable. “Because, Esther knows exactly who Esther is,” he said, thinking of her gracious movements, her constant smile, and her almond-shaped eyes. “And as far as I know, Esther does not whine. Remember this, little sister, men every now and then like a damsel in distress, but they don’t want an insecure girl. There is a big difference.”
Abby rolled her eyes as Joseph left to go fetch the beautiful cowboy hat with the snakeskin band, which matched his own, for Michael. He found himself looking forward to Michael’s reaction and wondering if Esther would approve. Curiosity had him in a tight grip when it came to Esther and her past. He had promised Abby not to write to the detective in New York, and he promised Esther he would not pry and ask either her or Michael, and yet he doubted Esther would ever tell him voluntarily. Abby said things would take care of themselves and to have faith.
Joseph sighed. Faith was such an ambiguous term. Besides, he was an action-oriented man. Simply waiting and hoping was something he had never been able to do well.
“Joseph, you ready?” Abby’s voice halted his thoughts.
He shook his head and ran a hand through his thick hair. “Yes, I am ready.”
Ready for Esther to shun me and Michael to embrace me.
/
Esther was having a hard time concentrating on the Sunday sermon. Her mind was filled with concern for the people she’d personally taken under her care. Her eyes drifted to new mothers, and mothers to be. Melissa had attended with her gurgling baby who already looked a bit plumper. She seemed better, more rosy and bright-eyed with her husband’s arm around her. Suzanne Gable was there, sitting very tightly cross-legged. Esther had to smile knowing that she was trying to keep the baby in. Still, her skin was sun kissed and glowing. She had taken Esther’s advice and had been tending to her garden. Not losing the baby had given her courage to move about and come to church.
Esther then glanced at the three non-pregnant people giving her concern: Will, Abby, and Joseph. Will’s sermons had improved dramatically in the past few weeks. His actions had always been kind and serving, but his sermons had been rough and harsh. After the arrival of Abby, his Sunday message had grown softer, portraying God as a loving father. Today, however, his words were slightly jumbled and unfocused. He kept glancing at the smiling Rachel and then at the grim-faced Abby who looked like a woman slighted. Then Esther glanced under lowered eyelashes at Joseph. His jaw was set tightly and his lips pressed into a thin line. She could not tell if he was focused on the sermon or upset about something.
Michael fidgeted next to Uncle Tim and Aunt Lily. “This is a long sermon,” Michael whispered impatiently.
Esther gave a single nod. “I’m sure it’s almost over. You are being very patient.” She glanced over at Joseph who looked extremely pensive… no, more agitated than pensive. The right side of his jaw twitched repeatedly and his eyes narrowed. Despite looking like a frustrated bull he was very handsome. Especially handsome. Esther looked away. She could appreciate a fine face and figure, but that did not mean she should linger on it.
Michael sighed loudly. He was no longer patient. “Can I go sit with Joseph?” he begged.
/
Joseph caught Esther’s attention while she tried to keep her fidgeting son from rocking the bench back and forth. Goodness, he liked that woman. Who was he kidding? He loved her. Much to his delight Esther gave him a friendly little wave with her fingers. When he motioned silently for Michael to come over to him, Esther nodded her head. She bent over and whispered to Michael, instructing him to walk quietly. Michael gleefully stood up and tiptoed through the congregation over to Joseph.
“Did you bring me the present you ordered?” he whispered. Several heads turned to stare Michael into silence. When they met Joseph’s challenging look, they decided it was better to ignore the boy’s chatter.
Joseph picked up Michael. “I sure did,” he said softly. “I’ll give it to you when the sermon is over.”
Michael sighed, covering the side of his mouth to whisper into Joseph’s ear. “Are you going to the barn dance?”
“Sure am,” he replied in a whisper. “Are you?”
Michael nodded. “Will you be asking my mom to dance?”
Joseph smiled. “I will ask her, but I just don’t know if she’ll say yes.”
Michael furrowed his eyebrows trying to look like a hard thinking man. “She never dances with men. At least, I’ve never seen her dance with one.” Looking back at his mom, Michael held up his hand again and leaned toward Joseph’s ear. “She was hurt by a man you know.” Then as if worried what Joseph would think he added, “but all men aren’t bad.”
Joseph glanced at Esther while putting the pieces of Michael’s words together. Esther had been hurt? Physically? Emotionally? The thought of a man hurting her body made Joseph angry. Yet the thought of her loving a man and him abandoning her with a child also enraged him. Had she loved another? Had he left? Did she still love him?
/
Will finally closed the sermon with a relieved sigh. He had not practiced. He had not even written a sermon. Yesterday’s events had him in a conundrum. He had been a fool to ask Rachel to the barn dance, but it was too late to take back the invitation. When he realized he’d fallen for Abby, he of course convinced himself that she would not be interested in him, and then acting on impulse, he asked Rachel to accompany him. She was always after him and would be a boost to his self-shattered ego. Yet Abby’s obvious disappointment when she found out that Will would be taking Rachel made him re-think the possibility of courting her. Yet she had done nothing to indicate her interest in him. Maybe he’d only imagined her disappointment yesterday. Either way, the whole event had ruined his sermon—all in all, he was in a sour mood. Rachel’s batting eyelashes and Abby’s ignoring him was doing nothing to help it. Abby was still polite to him, but there had been no announcement of the Thanksgiving play as Abby explained that there were several tests the children had to complete, and so the announcement was to be postponed. But Will wondered if she simply did not want him around. Whatever she was feeling, he needed to talk to her.
/
Abby thought her fingers would spring out claws when Rachel practically draped herself on Will. Had the girl no shame? Relentlessly showing off her bosom and trailing her finger along the hem of the neckline? The scene made Abby want to gag. Will seemed to be heading toward her now, but she avoided him. She would not be his little pet, his little amusement. Instead, she threw herself into a frantic conversation with Sheriff Ben and his wife Lucinda.
/
Joseph grinned as Esther approached. He liked how her eyes smiled as much as her mouth.
“Your sister seems bent on avoiding our starry-eyed pastor it seems,” she noted with a laugh.
Joseph shrugged. “Yep. She said something about him being confusing, or was it her being confusing. Frankly, Miss Esther, I have no idea what she was talking about.”
Esther laughed, “And that is why women need women.”
“I am in full agreement there,” he chuckled. “So Michael was telling me your aunt and uncle are leaving for an anniversary trip, correct?”
“Yes, they leave after the Harvest Festival. I’m happy for them. They could use a real holiday.”
Joseph nodded. “Have you traveled outside of Tall Pine?”
Esther shook her head, “No, I am afraid not. I’ve been feeling a little itch for—not necessarily a change, but maybe doing something adventurous. I’ve been thinking of taking Michael somewhere for Christmas, but I don’t know where.”
I don’t know where because I am feeling that something needs to change in my life, but I don’t want change. I don’t trust change. Esther cast her eyes downward. What a confusing mess she was.
Michael tugged on Esther’s arm. “Joseph brought the present,” he told her. He turned to Joseph, “Can I have it now?”
Joseph looked at Esther for permission. There was a difference in her today, not just towards him, but in general. Her eyes seemed brighter, less weighed down, and she moved with a spring added to her usual grace.
Was it because of him?
Or was the change due to someone else?
He didn’t like that thought at all. Joseph grunted, quietly crossing his arms.
“We are staying for dinner after the church picnic to help Abby cook. You can have the present then.”
Michael looked as if Esther was asking him to wait an eternity. He began to protest when Joseph surprised him by swinging him up and behind his back. Michael squealed in delight, giggling loudly. Joseph nodded towards the entrance.
“You want to accompany me and my deputy here for some pie?” he asked.
Esther looked at the two incredulously. “Michael is your deputy now is he?”
Joseph caught a mix of conflicting emotions on Esther’s face between disapproving of his closeness to Michael while also being pleased with it. He decided to ignore the disapproval. “He sure is. Every man needs his own deputy to help him out,” Joseph grinned. He did in fact feel that he needed Michael. At first, he wanted Esther and felt the need to help Michael. Now he loved the kid, and he needed the boy in his life as much as he desired and needed Esther. Joseph offered his arm; Esther seemed not to notice.
She simply turned away and began walking before turning back. “Well then, let’s go get some pie. I would be glad to dish up a piece for you two boys,” she said cheerfully.”
Joseph bounded after her. Had she ignored his arm or had she just not noticed? What was it with this woman and his touch? Would she not like his touch were he to kiss her, caress her, make love to her? The thought worried Joseph. He was willing to work through anything, but how could he if he didn’t even know what the problem was.
/
Abby would not look at Will, and he couldn’t shake off Rachel without being hurtful to her. During the course of the picnic he tried to maneuver over to Abby, but every time he did, Rachel either started a new conversation, or someone stopped him to say they needed help with a fence, branding cows, harvesting, repairing the roof, and so on. When he finally reached the spot Abby had been, he would find that she had evaded him. The picnic ended and Abby, who was always the last one to say goodbye, was the first to leave, practically running to her little home. Will grunted. He’d have to talk to her tomorrow at school where she could not escape.