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“DAAAAAAD!”
“Fuck sake.”
“DAAAAAAAAAD!”
“Jesus Christ, Billy, what?”
“You said a bad w—”
“What do you want now?”
“There’s something under the bed.”
“Go to sleep.”
“There’s a monster.”
“No, there isn’t.”
“There is. I heard it.”
“It’s your imagination, now for the last goddamn time, go to sleep.”
“Check.”
“What?”
“Check under there, please.”
“No. I already told you there’s nothing under there. I thought we were through with all this bullshit? You’re almost ten years old. Time to stop being such a scaredy-cat. I swear, between you and your mother, it’s a wonder I haven’t lost my mind already.”
“I’m not a scaredy-cat.”
“Yes, you are. Only scaredy-cats think there are monsters under their beds.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Then why don’t you look and see for yourself?”
“I want you to do it. Please, just look under there.”
“There’s no need. I can see from here that there’s nothing there but some toys and your dirty laundry. Which, by the way, you were supposed to clean up over the weekend. Now, I’m going to bed and you’re going to sleep. It’s been a shit day, and I have to be up for work in a few hours.”
“Okay, fine.”
“Really? You’re gonna sulk now? Jesus.”
“I’ll go to sleep and promise not to bother you again if you just make sure there’s nothing there.”
“Fine. Christ. Fine. But if you call me again, you’ll be sorry.”
“Okay.”
“Now, see? There’s nothing under your goddamn bed. See? Look.
“Oh, but there is, you fucking ogre.”
“The fuck did you just s—what the? Billy, woah...woah...hey...what are you doing with that? Put that down right this goddamn m—JESUS CHRIST! No, no, NOOOOO. Please, I n—”
“Now the monster’s under my bed.”
“P...please...Bil....Billy....please...call....call an....am.....”
“Right back where it belongs.”
