Nina had to admit that, for the first time in her life, except when she was born (at least, that’s how she always put it), she didn’t have control over the world. She had never experienced anything like this before, but to her own surprise, she felt that she was ready to face it. She immediately embarked on one of her expositions.
“Luciana is right: My life is anything but glorious. I will embrace this change as salvation from boredom and mediocrity. All I’ve always dreamed of, ever since I can remember, is brilliance and fame.”
She even shed a few tears, but not of fear, like any other normal person would do. Hers were tears of excitement and joy.
The “change” she was referring to in her pathetic outburst and which she turned so quickly into her advantage, was called the war. But, judging by these unreasonable thoughts and proclamations, Nina had no idea what it really meant. For just a very brief moment, she experienced feelings of self-doubt and self-pity; but she sloughed them off immediately.
I will never see the sea again, said her frightened self; and immediately: of course I will. So will my children, vowed her brave self. She whispered into her pockets — her children were still safely tucked in there — with the certainty of a runner already crossing the finish line.
“We’ll get to the sea, I promise.”
She will encounter such moments over the course of this adventure, which will challenge her adeptness and her ingenuity many times. But we can forgive her foolishness. She really had no idea what that three-letter word contained. Even I, the witness to so many wars through centuries, still find its very existence, let alone the extent of horror and barbarism, shocking. Poor Nina, thinking that reading a few books prepared her to face it.
Nina decided to start walking towards the sea and to think about what to do along the way.
“I will take you far, all the way to the sea,” she said to her children.
“Why?” asked Dino.
“Because I don’t want you to die.” That didn’t come out right, thought Nina. I shouldn’t have said that.
“But, you always say that everybody dies, no big deal.”
“Yes, but this is different.”
“How is it different?”
“If I take you to the sea, you’ll be free.”
“Free of what?”
“You won’t have to hide in my pockets. You won’t be hungry or thirsty. And you’ll be free to make choices without having guns pointed at you.”
“Yes. No…. You’ll be free but you don’t have to die. Not yet.”
She wasn’t in the mood to continue this conversation with Dino. In spite of her excitement, expressed just moments ago when she realized that there was a war going on, she was not going to stay there and do nothing. Words she didn’t believe in and rarely used just came out of her mouth.
“You are too young to understand.”
Dino was about to ask another question, but before he said anything, she pulled out a lollipop she had found in her backpack and put it in his mouth. Ada, smelling a treat, emerged dreamily and looked at her mother.
She always tried to treat them equally, to preclude jealousy. Jealousy is a waste of time; it destroys relationships, whole lives…. She started composing a speech on the topic of jealousy.
So righteous, our Nina. And always ready to explain herself to an audience.
Ada said, “I had a dream last night.”