We came across a table with the sign that read: ‘Humanitarian Aid’. When I looked again, it wasn’t a table but a stove. A woman was standing behind it. There was a huge cauldron on the stove.
“Don’t worry. The world has sent me to help you. I will teach you to cook healthy food. Now, I will share my favourite recipe with you, a recipe for a flamingo. I have translated it myself from Latin.”
“Scald the flamingo, wash and dress it, put it in a pot, add water, salt, dill, and a little vinegar, to be parboiled. Prior to removing the feathers also singe the fine feathers and hair. Finish cooking with a bunch of leeks and coriander, and add some reduced must to give it colour. In the mortar crush pepper, cumin, coriander, laser root, mint, rue, moisten with vinegar, add dates, and the fond of the braised bird; thicken, strain, cover the bird with the sauce and serve.”
“Now, I understand that there is a war going on here, and that you may not be able to buy or catch a flamingo, but you might find a parrot, which is prepared in the same manner. You can exchange the birds, but I am afraid that the spices are a must. No replacements there. If you use larks, you have to kill 36 of them for this dish.
“If you cannot possibly kill 36 larks, I’ll give you a recipe for a dish that requires only 3. Sadly, it’s not an old Roman recipe, but it will do. Pound in a mortar the flesh of two larks; add some butter, some chopped samphire, some breadcrumbs soaked in milk, some Malaga raisins, and some crushed juniper berries. Stuff a third lark with the mixture and roast it on a spit covered with samphire leaves and a strip of fat bacon. Serve on a crouton soaked in gin, and then toasted and buttered. Cheers!”
I looked in the cauldron, but it was empty. And the stove was cold.