Chapter 48

It’s amazing how need inspires tolerance. Adam moved back to his mother’s house and began making plans to marry Kimmy. He refrained from mentioning his mother’s affair, and although he was polite, if he felt affection for Alexandra, he carefully hid it.

Garret began dating Alexandra again. Initially, Adam protested. Alexandra then gave him her most don’t you dare say anything if you expect me to do this for you look. The wedding was scheduled for the second week in April. As the days passed, the enormity of the situation began to weigh heavy on Adam’s shoulders. Steve scheduled Adam to work extra hours at the restaurant, and Tommy sat down with his nephew to review all aspects of his new financial responsibilities.

Garret was ever present, and Adam was forced to grudgingly admit (only to himself) that even a teenage son, teenage bride, and baby hadn’t scared the man off. After what Adam was experiencing as his wedding date approached, if he were Garret, he’d run like hell.

The difference between Alex’s pregnancy and Kimmy’s was profound. Alex had worn her maternity clothes with pride. Kimmy refused to go into the maternity stores and have a look at the clothing she would soon need. During Alex’s pregnancy, shopping for nursery furniture and baby clothes was a fulfilling and delightful outing. For Kimmy, it was drudgery. There was no joy for the young girl, only fearful anticipation.

One day, Kimmy told Adam that perhaps they were making the wrong choice. Before it was too late maybe, they should consider adoption or abortion. Kimmy’s suggestion sent Adam to his mother for their first real conversation in weeks.

“How can she even consider such a thing? I won’t allow it,” Adam fumed. Alexandra sat quietly in her living room, alone with her son as he told her of his girlfriend’s second thoughts.

“You won’t allow it?” Alex repeated calmly. “Ultimately, Adam, the decision is Kimmy’s. She might discuss the options with you. But the final decision is hers.”

“How can you say that?” Adam demanded angrily. “I’m the father. I have rights.”

“Some people would agree with you.” Alex sat in the recliner, thoughtfully observing Adam, who stood in the middle of the living room fretfully pacing. “But it’s Kimmy’s body. Kimmy’s. I doubt when you conceived this child that you and Kimmy sat down and agreed on rights. If she wants an abortion, that’s her choice, not yours. If Kimmy wants to give the baby up for adoption, then perhaps you have some say. Yet, I don’t really think a teenage boy is the best option for the child.”

“You don’t want this baby, do you?” Adam accused. “You don’t care if she kills your grandchild? I thought you were against abortion.”

“Adam, I personally couldn’t have an abortion. But your father was the one who was adamantly opposed to them, not me. I can’t pass judgment on another woman. Each woman has to decide for herself. That’s just what I believe.”

Two days later, Adam’s anxiety over Kim’s change of heart was alleviated when Kimmy agreed to stick with their original plan. She simply could not bring herself to have an abortion nor could she imagine actually giving away her baby, never to see it again. In mid-April, the matter was taken out of their hands.

Kimmy lost the baby.

Alexandra and Garret were having a late lunch with Kate and Russell when they heard the news. Adam was at the hospital when he tried to contact his mother. When he was unable to find her at home or at the restaurant, he called his Uncle Jimmy instead of calling her pager number. When Jimmy wasn’t home, he called his Uncle Tommy. He needed to talk to a person, not a machine. Uncle Tommy promised to meet Jimmy at the hospital. Tommy contacted Alexandra by the pager.

Tommy was alone in the stark waiting room when Alexandra arrived at the hospital with Garret, Russell, and Kate. He was sitting in one of the three couches that faced an oblong coffee table; an unfinished jigsaw puzzle lay abandoned on the tabletop.

“Is Kim’s mother here?” Alexandra asked her brother the moment she came into the room. Kim’s parents were divorced and she understood the father lived over six hundred miles away. She didn’t expect to see him.

“No.” Tommy shook his head. “Adam hasn’t been able to find her. She left town early this morning and isn’t expected back until late tonight.”

“Where’s Adam?” Alex asked.

“He’s with her.” Tommy remained on the couch. Russell and Kate quietly took a seat on an empty couch across from him.

“I’m going to go see her,” Alex announced, then left the room with Garret.

For a moment, the three remaining occupants of the waiting room sat in awkward silence. Tommy leaned forward, sitting on the edge of the couch with his hands clasped together, nervously tapping them against his knee as he looked downward. Finally, he looked up and broke the silence.

“Kate, Russell, I’m sorry I was such an ass.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kate said with a slight smile. “We’re used to it.”

Alexandra and Garret found Adam in the hallway outside the door of Kim’s hospital room. Obviously distraught and tired, the teenager glared angrily at his mother.

“I suppose you’re happy now,” Adam snapped at his mother, then turned his gaze to Garret. “And now you can have my mom to yourself.”

Without waiting for a reply, he turned and hurriedly walked to the open elevator.

“Adam, wait!” Alexandra called to her son as she anxiously looked from the elevator door, closing behind Adam, to the door leading to Kim’s room. She knew Kimmy needed comfort. The girl’s mother wasn’t there to give it. Yet, how could she allow her son to walk away?

Garret, sensing her turmoil, placed a reassuring hand on Alex’s arm. “Go talk to Kimmy. I’ll handle Adam.”

Alex looked into Garret’s eyes, unsure of his suggestion.

“Go,” he urged, giving her a quick smile as he nudged her toward the hospital door and then went to find Adam.

The damp auburn curls resting against the stark whiteness of the hospital pillow framed a face that looked no more than twelve years old. Wide green eyes edged in red and shadowed by dark circles born of fatigue and stress looked up at Alexandra. Giving the young woman a reassuring smile, Alex stepped to the bed and gently took the girl’s hand in her own.

“It’s my entire fault.” Kim’s voice trembled.

“It’s no one’s fault.” Alex patted the small hand.

“If I hadn’t thought about having an abortion…”

“Kimmy, that didn’t cause the miscarriage.” Alexandra squeezed the girl’s hand reassuringly. She released it for a moment as she pulled a chair to the bedside, sat down, and then reclaimed the hand.

“I’ve ruined my life. I’ve ruined everything.”

“Kimmy, your life’s not ruined,” Alex assured.

“My mom is so disappointed in me. She barely looks at me.” Tears slid down the pale face. “I lost the baby, and I feel so guilty.”

“Why do you feel guilty?” Alex asked softly. She continued to hold the hand, patting it reassuringly.

“I didn’t want the baby,” Kimmy whispered the confession. “But I didn’t mean to kill it.”

“You didn’t kill anyone. Miscarriages happen. It’s understandable that you weren’t thrilled about your pregnancy.”

“I’ve ruined everything. You must think I’m awful. My mother is so ashamed of me,” Kimmy sobbed.

“Listen to me, Kimmy.” Alex sat on the edge of the chair and stared intently at the young face. Her voice was serious. “All of us make mistakes. That’s how we learn. Okay, you and Adam made some wrong choices. We all do. But you haven’t ruined your life. This is just one of many trials you’ll experience. Learn from it and go on. Maybe you weren’t meant to have this child. But learn from it, Kimmy. Don’t dwell in the guilt or berate yourself for making the wrong choice. Use this knowledge to make better choices in the future.”

“You don’t think I’m awful?” The girl’s voice was small when she asked.

“I suppose I haven’t the right to pass judgments. I’ve made my share of poor choices.”

Kimmy looked into Alex’s face. For a moment, the young girl had forgotten about Alex’s affair with Garret. Reminded of the incident, Kimmy felt a bond with her boyfriend’s mother. They’d each made mistakes, and in some way, knowing that gave the young girl comfort.

“You’ll get through this, Kimmy. As horrible as it might seem right now, believe me, it’s not the end of the world. I promise you.”

Alexandra stayed with Kimmy until the young girl fell asleep. She then went to the waiting room and told Russell, Kate, and Tommy that she was going for a drive; she needed time alone. As she was leaving the hospital, she paused a moment at the door of the gift shop, then went inside. After ordering a floral arrangement sent to Kim’s room, she impulsively purchased a bouquet of daisies and took them with her to her car.