We want answers from God. We have a ravenous appetite for clarity in life. And often, we desire justification or, at least, some kind of explanation for why He allows certain things to transpire. God, however, is more mysterious than we think He should be or wish He were. Most of the time, we don’t receive the desired answers or the clarity for which we clamor. In spite of our seeking, God seems just out of our reach. Try as we might, we cannot pin Him down.
In short, the truth is: life is messy, and God is mysterious.
We struggle with these truths. We spend our energy, often wrestling in prayer, hoping to attain that place of peace in which our life is less difficult, painful, and challenging.
Yet the messiness of life remains a constant reality, and God remains mysterious.
Life is messy and God is mysterious. I first heard it expressed this way by my fellow pastor, Bud Burk, as he summarized his extensive interaction with the writings of Eugene Peterson. For me, the statement accurately captures the tension of faith. We even find this tension echoed in the teaching of Jesus: while we desire simple formulas, Jesus taught in apparent riddles.
So how do we live, grow, flourish, and remain content in the mess? How do we trust, follow, and continue to obey God when He seems to remain elusive?
Several years into my Christian walk, I was the pastor of a large college group while taking a heavy load of graduate classes in philosophy. I was overwhelmed. I didn’t have enough time. I was out of money. I couldn’t clearly see the path for the next steps in life.
I was giving my life to God, I thought, so why was everything so difficult and confusing?
I found myself caught in this awkward middle—the place between my belief about how things ought to be and the reality of how they actually were; between how I thought God should move in my life and how He actually chose to move.
And this is when I began to realize: faith is often characterized less by clarity than by confusion.
We all long for a sense of God’s will for our lives, for intimacy with God, and for the presence and power of the Holy Spirit. We desire God’s love and affection. As hard as it is to accept for most of us, these things will come at the back end of a long walk of faith, or, to borrow a phrase from Friedrich Nietzsche, “a long obedience in the same direction.”
In the meantime, though, the questions remain: What is God’s will for my life? What is faith? What does it mean to follow, to know, to experience God? How do we find the right path, discover who we were created to be, know what it is we are called to do? And why can it seem so hard?
If we were made for relationship with God, why do we often feel lost and distant from Him? When we, who call ourselves followers of Jesus, feel as if we’re groping blindly, have we missed some key concept or failed to grasp the correct formula?
The life of Christian faith is and always has been a beautifully awkward reality. Following Jesus is done—can only be done—in the messiness of this world into which we were all born. Yet many Christians expect the walk of faith to be easier, neater, and relatively devoid of hassles.
So perhaps it’s time for a frank conversation about the true nature of Christian faith. Maybe there are many desperately in need of a clear dialogue about how—despite living in a turbulent, chaotic world—our greatest joy is found in our pursuit of God.
This book is an exploration of the art of living by faith. It is a book for all those wrestling with the paradoxes that confront those who seek to walk with Christ. It is a look at how faith works, here and now, in our culture, our time—and how to put down real roots and flourish in the midst of our messy lives.
As we explore together the mysterious nature of our relationship with God, may we find joy. May we come to experience the full measure of God’s faithfulness and love for us.
Ken Wytsma
Bend, Oregon