‘I could never write an autobiography. There’s nothing left – it’s all on stage…’
When the second series of The Sarah Millican Television Show aired in January 2013, it was swiftly followed by an announcement that a third was on its way.
Sarah was now a fully-fledged television star, a comedian who could command an audience of nearly a quarter of a million on tour, and a proud cat owner. She had achieved her ambition with a steely determination – a fire in her belly that had begun seven years before when her first husband walked out on her, and had since been stoked each time she heard a crowd laugh at her witty jokes.
In late 2012 she announced her third tour, Home Bird, a mammoth 86-date tour that stretched as far into the future as May 2014 and sold out, just like all her others.
So what was next for the potty-mouthed Geordie? Certainly not Hollywood, where she says they wouldn’t understand a word she says. ‘They’d be saying: she’s lovely, but is she foreign?’
Instead Sarah’s ambitions were much simpler. ‘To still be doing this in 30 years’ time, that’s all I want, just to be constantly getting better. I just want to be constantly improving. I want to be able to play the Albert Hall and nail that, but then be able to nail a gig that’s got four people in a pub who haven’t paid to be there, and there’s snooker and slot machines in the background… You want to make those four people wee themselves as much as the people in the Albert Hall, you know? Just to be able to turn your hand to any room and make it work. I think I’m a long way off, I think most comics are a long way off, there’s only a handful that can do it. But that’s the ultimate aim.’
Her other aim was to get a Nando’s For Life card. ‘A few high-profile comedians have got one,’ she has said, dreamily. ‘You can have free Nando’s whenever you like, up to five people each time.’
But despite her incredible achievements Sarah has been grittily realistic about the future and never takes anything for granted – it’s one of the reasons she has been so successful.
She embarked on her new comedy career with no room in her mind for failure. She worked day and night until she achieved critical acclaim, and she has approached each milestone since with the same work ethic. For Sarah, every award and every positive review was never enough. It simply spurred her on to do bigger and better things.
And if it all ended – this magnificent, glittering career she has made for herself? ‘I’m very good in a call centre, so if this all goes to pot I’ll just try and get back into that,’ she says. ‘With this soft Geordie accent I could probably get a job in the complaints department. I’m pretty good at calming people down.’
Even then it was doubtful you’d ever hear Sarah’s voice on the line again, and things were only going to get better for her, personally and professionally, in 2013.