BIG APPLE

bistros buffets

burger joints

brasseries

eat all you can

low-cal

fat-free

supersize

jumbo

triple scoop

club

dagwood

drive-thru

take-out

chrome-trim vintage diners

glinting through the night

greasy spoons

members-only clubs

farm-fresh wild tenderised

macrobiotic organic vegan green

fillet of supreme of cream of

puree prime-cut lean

tear and share

house specials

catch of the day

belly dancer singing waiter karaoke cabaret

delis where money can buy you anything

milk and honey

manna and ambrosia

house-smoked peppery pastrami

with asiago cheese on rye

spicy cilantro-marinated swordfish

cedar-wrapped ginger squash salmon

McDonald’s Pizza Hut Dunkin Donuts KFC

O brave New World

that offers such abundance

O land of the free the obese the anorexic the bulimic

the morning-after lycra-clad joggers

strapped to heart monitors pedometers

protein drinks in holsters

spring sunshine reinvigorates the lunchtime park

at which office workers unlatch sushi boxes

fork tuna salads from their screwtop plastic bowls

lunch is a legitimate business expense

for the executives who don their Gucci specs

to scrutinise the wine list

in the Michelin-starred penthouse

while the bowtied sommelier

keeps his discreet counsel

until vouchsafed a peremptory nod

so much unfailing comfort to avail of

at the food bar where singles

ladle ready-meals for dinner

curried wheatberry salad lemon mint

citrus kamut chicken enchilada

orzo with olives edamame succotash

such a glut that surplus tons

are slopped out nightly into trash bins

next stop the gym

to work off excess cals

manipulate weights at muzak tempo

hasten to the treadmill’s measured destination

man – like galley slaves – the rowing machines

resolve to test the latest low-carb diet

no greater terror to war against

than the sight of the accusatory

bathroom scales gaining ground

advancing like the hands

of the doomsday nuclear clock

halal kosher fast food slow

peeled prepared cleaned

julienned dressed sliced diced

seasoned stuffed marinated

traceable sustainable fairtrade

squeezed plucked rolled boned

smoked crowned skewered rotisseried

halved quartered drawn BBQ-ed

skimmed raw fortified with vitamins iron

microwavable suitable for freezing just add water

a people content to live with blueberry smoothies

bircher muesli soaked overnight in yoghurt

leek and pea risotto with grilled calamari

dreamy cream-filled cupcakes

chocolate malted crunch hand-scooped ice cream shake

prime T-bone onion rings hash browns

tempura-battered Chicken McNuggets

chinese cabbage tofu soup

wars fought in their names

are tucked safely out of sight

like the faceless illegals

who pick on asparagus tips

bow low in heat

to rows of big-hearted lettuces

frilled as the bathing costume of a paddling child

cooling off blissfully in her backyard pool

no need at all to soil your hands

unless they smudge on Belgian chocolate muffins

contract a tincture of the sticky spare-rib sauce

no antibiotic no growth hormone no gluten

no added sugar sodium no artificial flavours

no dairy no transfats no synthetic colours

no emulsifiers no bad carbs no MSG no ‘E’s

no issues no sweat

nothing whatsoever to fret about

worry yourself sick over

health inspectorate

food and drugs administration

biodegradable packaging

carbon write-offs making reparation

for refrigerated truck deliveries

guilty air miles

peace and plenty

and lots lots more where all that came from

everything everything to go