Chapter 19
Tyson
I’m so proud of Lainey. I always have been—more than she probably realizes. As much as she half-asses a lot of things in her life, she really is talented. I have her entire series recorded, and when I’m doing laundry or other housework, I play back the episodes. Her scenes always shine, and she never fails to make me laugh out loud.
But I sometimes wondered if I was a bit biased. Or simply enjoying the novelty of seeing a friend on the screen. Now I know that’s not the case. If anything, it means she’s even better than I thought she was, and I’m so damn happy for her big break. Part of me also hopes that this will be the catalyst she needs to start taking her life a little more seriously.
After a champagne toast on our balcony, we head out to dinner. For the second time in one day, Alessandro has scored us reservations—this time at a fancy restaurant inside the Capri Palace Jumeirah. Afterward, we are meeting Hannah’s new friend at a nearby piano bar.
The girls are both wearing black dresses. Hannah’s is knee-length and, according to Lainey, “very Audrey Hepburn.” Lainey’s is short, tight, and, I must admit, hot.
As we enter the hotel lobby, Alessandro rushes up to Lainey to congratulate her. He is a perfect gentleman, calling us a taxi and even coming outside to open the car door for us. But as Lainey climbs into the backseat, I catch him staring at her legs. It’s harmless—and I can’t blame the guy for copping a discreet look—but I still feel protective of her. I also find myself hoping that she doesn’t drink too much tonight and put herself in a bad position.
It’s clear what’s on her agenda, though. As we pull out of the hotel driveway, she immediately says to Hannah, “I hope Archie’s friend is cute.”
“If he disappoints, you are more than welcome to Archie.”
“No chance! He’s all yours—”
Hannah laughs. “Hardly,” she says. “I don’t even know if I’m interested.”
“Stop it. He’s gorgeous.”
“I think you like him more than I do! You should take him.”
“Say it one more time, and I will,” Lainey says with a laugh.
I shake my head and smile at her. “Are you ever not shameless?”
“Are you ever not self-righteous?” she says, smiling back at me.
“Okay, you two,” Hannah says. “We’re celebrating tonight, remember?”
“I’m trying,” I say, suppressing a smile. “But the Pigeon Girl isn’t making it easy.”
Lainey laughs, then says, “You know what? I think we should make a deal. We all get laid tonight.”
“Lainey, hush,” Hannah says under her breath. She glances up at the taxi driver, looking mortified.
“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Lainey says.
“I’m not being a prude,” she says. “That’s just so…I don’t know…”
“Predatory?” I finish for her.
“How is that predatory?” Lainey says. “We’d obviously be with consenting adults!”
“Still. How would you like to be on the receiving end of that kind of ‘deal’?” I ask her.
She raises her eyebrows. “That would depend entirely on how good looking he is.”
I shake my head, smile, and say it again: Shameless.
Our Dinner is as incredible as Alessandro promised. We go with the tasting menu plus wine pairings, and every dish looks like a work of art. Too pretty to eat, Hannah keeps saying, as Lainey snaps photographs of her plates. After dessert and a sweet Vin Santo, the bill comes. I grab it.
“What are you doing?” Lainey asks.
“I got this one,” I say. “My treat.”
Hannah thanks me as Lainey pats my arm and says, “I guess chivalry’s not dead, after all.”
“It’s not chivalry. It’s just my official congratulations to you,” I say. “Don’t get used to it.”
Lainey laughs, then says, “Shall we head to this piano bar or what?”
“Can we go over a few safety guidelines first?” I say.
“Safety guidelines or morality policing?” Lainey asks.
“Just don’t go wandering off, please. And keep your eye on your drinks.”
“Oh, wow. You think Archie is going to try to roofie Hannah?” Lainey asks me with a smirk.
“Who knows?” I say. “I’m sure he’s great. He’s probably a good guy, but you just never know. Ted Bundy seemed great.”
“Jeez! You’re such a buzzkill!” Lainey says. “And I really don’t think there’s much crime on islands. The escaping part would be a challenge.”
“Well, let’s put aside the fact that we already covered Friedrich Krupp and Jeffrey Epstein—both committing sex crimes on islands. Have you ever heard of Mary Jo Kopechne?”
“Who?”
“Chappaquiddick? An island,” I say. “Or how about Natalee Holloway on Aruba? Also an island.”
Lainey shudders. “That story still haunts me. Thank God they finally got that asshole to confess.”
“All right. Now that we’ve established that bad shit can happen to you while on a piece of land surrounded by water…can everyone please make sure they have their Life360 turned on?”
“I do,” Hannah says, as Lainey nods.
“And let us know if you leave the bar,” I say, staring at Lainey. “Okay?”
“Sure thing,” Lainey says. “And if I get in any trouble, I’ll send you a message via carrier pigeon.”
“Okay, smart-ass,” I say, trying not to smile. “Get yourself kidnapped. See if I care.”
According to Google Maps, the bar where we’re meeting Archie and his friend is only nine hundred meters from the restaurant. But the streets are dark, and we’re all a bit tipsy, so we grab a cab. The ride is so quick that we laugh at ourselves as I pay the fare and we all pile out at the San Michele Hotel.
We go inside, following the sound of music to Lanterna Verde. The bar is carved out of white limestone and has a wall of windows overlooking the Gulf of Naples. With pulsing dance music, swirling colored lights, and a cheesy star-spangled ceiling, the vibe is more psychedelic nightclub than chill piano bar, but I have a nice buzz and roll with it.
On our way to the bar, Hannah spots Archie and his friend, sitting at a table by the windows, beers in hand. She and Lainey walk over to them.
Trailing behind, I watch Hannah tap Archie on the shoulder. He turns, beams up at her, then stands and kisses her on one cheek, followed by the other. By the time I catch up, introductions are under way.
“This is Ian,” I hear Archie say as the girls greet him.
I smile to myself because Lainey nailed the description of the jovial sidekick right down to his beer belly and unruly beard.
Hannah follows suit, introducing Lainey and me.
We both say hello, and as Ian immediately starts working Lainey, Archie turns to me and smiles.
“How’re you liking Capri?” he shouts over the music.
“So far, so good,” I shout back.
Archie points out the window. “Stunning views around here, aren’t there?”
“Yes,” I say, looking down at the sparkling lights of the town and harbor. “Everywhere you turn.”
Archie smiles, then says, “Hannah says you went to uni together?”
“Yeah. A long time ago,” I say. “How about you and Ian?”
“Known each other since birth,” Archie says. “Our mums went to uni together.”
“That’s real,” I say.
Archie smiles, then holds up his empty pint glass. “I’m getting another. What can I get everyone?” he asks, looking around at all of us.
“I’ll get this round,” I say, thinking there’s no way I’m going to let another guy buy our first drinks. “What do you girls want?” I ask Hannah and Lainey.
“A glass of prosecco, please,” Hannah says.
“Dirty martini,” Lainey says. “Extra cold, extra dirty.”
I look at Ian and Archie. Ian says he’s good, while Archie offers to come with me. We head toward the bar. It’s crowded, but we manage to find a sliver of real estate. As Archie rests his elbow on the counter, I notice that his wrist is adorned with several braided leather bracelets with gold hardware. They look expensive, as do his clothes.
“So where are you from, Tyson?” Archie asks me.
“Washington, D.C.,” I say.
He nods and asks if I work for the U.S. government.
“No. I’m just a regular lawyer,” I say, remembering that I’m currently an unemployed lawyer. “What about you?”
“I work in agriculture,” he says cryptically.
I nod, getting the distinct feeling that Archie isn’t out there farming the land himself. “Any particular crop?” I ask, wondering if it’s a stupid question.
It doesn’t seem to be, as Archie says, “Oh, gee. A bit of everything. Spring barley, winter wheat, strawberries, raspberries, black currants, turnips, and swedes.”
“What’s a swede?” I ask.
“It’s like a rutabaga.”
“Gotcha,” I say, although that doesn’t really clear things up for me.
“Barley is our main crop, though.”
“Is this a family business?” I ask, suddenly picturing Randolph and Mortimer Duke illegally trading on orange crop reports in the Eddie Murphy classic Trading Places.
Archie nods as it occurs to me that Hannah has only ever dated wealthy white guys. That might be part of her problem, I think. I remind myself there is nothing that precludes rich white men from being good guys—Archie could very well be one of them.
A second later, the bartender approaches us. I order the girls’ drinks, then motion toward Archie.
“I’ll take a pint of Birra Moretti,” he says.
“Make that two,” I say, sliding my credit card across the bar.
As we wait for our drinks and listen to the band, Archie and I continue to chat. At one point, I look over my shoulder, making eye contact with Lainey. I pause, expecting her to smile or wave or even flip me off, but she just stares back at me with an odd look on her face. I turn around as the bartender puts down our drinks and hands me the receipt to sign.
I sign my name while Archie grabs one of the pints along with Hannah’s prosecco. “Thanks, mate,” he says with a nod.
“No problem,” I say as Lainey suddenly appears beside me.
“What’s up?” I ask as she takes Archie’s place at the bar. “Did you change your mind?”
“About what?” she asks.
“About your drink?” I say, gesturing toward her martini.
She shakes her head, plucks it off the bar, and takes a big gulp.
“So why’d you come over?” I give her a suspicious look, then say, “You’re not about to order a shot, are you?”
“Oh my God, Tyson. I’m not getting a shot,” she says, as if that isn’t her very common M.O. upon arriving at a bar. “I just came over to thank you.” She holds up her martini, then takes another sip.
“It’s only a drink, Lainey.”
“It’s not only a drink. It was dinner, too. And the champagne before dinner—” she says.
“The champagne’s going on our hotel bill,” I say.
“You know what I mean,” she says, staring solemnly into my eyes.
I wait for the punch line or the dig, but she just keeps looking at me, without a trace of a smile or any of her usual antics. “You’re being really nice—and I appreciate it.”
I nod, then say, “Well, I’m very happy for you. And proud of you.”
“Thank you. That means a lot,” she says.
Her expression is so serious that I start to feel off balance.
“Okay. What’s going on? Did something happen with Ian?”
She shakes her head. “No. Nothing happened. What could have possibly happened? We just got here.”
“I know, but you’re acting kind of weird.”
“I’m not acting weird. I just wanted to thank you.” She pauses, then takes a deep breath. “I also wanted to say that I’m sorry. About our conversation. At lunch.”
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I say, brushing her off.
“Yes, I do,” she says. “I shouldn’t have pressed you like that.”
“It’s okay, Lainey.”
“No, it’s not okay. It was insensitive.” She takes a deep breath, then says, “And since lunch, I’ve been thinking about that terrible week. How upset you were with me after it happened—”
It, I think.
A singular, neuter, impersonal pronoun—and one of the simplest two-letter words in the English language. And yet, right now, out of Lainey’s mouth, it covers so much. It sums up the worst hour, day, week, and month of my life, as well as the end of Summer’s life. It sums up Lainey getting drunk and blowing off Summer’s parents, then going to party in Myrtle Beach.
“Lainey, you’ve already apologized for that, too. It’s ancient history.”
“I know it’s ancient history—but I can see now that my actions must have hurt you even more than I realized. We all lost our best friend…but you lost even more than that. And I’m just so sorry.”
“Thank you,” I say. “That means a lot. I promise we’re all good.”
She lowers her head, then nods. I put my arm around her shoulders.
“Now, c’mon,” I say. “Let’s go have a good time.”
The night turns out to be pretty fun. Archie and Ian are both cool, and the five of us mix it up with other random people, too. Funnily enough, the girl Lainey accused me of flirting with when we first arrived in town is here. Lainey points her out in a wildly obvious way.
“Who dat?” I say, squinting across the dance floor.
“You know exactly who dat is. You never forget a face,” she says as the woman starts swiveling her hips on the dance floor. “Or an ass.”
“Whatever, Lainey.” I laugh just as the woman catches us staring at her.
Lainey motions for her to come over to us.
“What are you doing?” I say.
“I’m getting the show on the road. You obviously need help.”
“Trust me. I do not need any help,” I say as the woman approaches us.
The Lainey effect, I think. Everyone follows her orders. People taking photos for her, hotel concierges, pretty girls in bars. Everyone.
A second later, the woman is standing in front of me, smiling. “Didn’t I see you in the Piazzetta the other day?”
“You did,” I say.
“And he’s been talking about you ever since!” Lainey says.
I roll my eyes and smile. “I’m Tyson,” I say. “This is my troublemaking friend Lainey.”
The woman laughs and says, “Ciao, Tyson. Ciao, Lainey. I’m Amore.”
“Amore?” Lainey says, nudging me with her elbow. “As in love?”
Amore laughs and nods.
“Well, could that be any more perfect?” Lainey says, looking at me.
Amore laughs again as I point over at Ian. “Hey, Lainey. I think your boy is looking for you. You better get going.”
She gives me an over-the-top wink before sashaying back to Ian.
“Your friend is funny,” Amore says.
I shake my head and say, “You have no idea.”
We both smile as I ask where she’s from.
“I’m from Torino.”
“Ah, Turin!” I say, nodding. “That’s close to Milan, right?”
“Sì.” Her eyes light up as she gives me an alluring smile. “Would you like to dance?”
“Sure,” I say.
Before I know it, I’m twirling Amore around the dance floor to a Shakira song.
When it finally ends, and Amore makes her way back to her friends, Lainey finds me and says, “I thought you hated to dance?”
“I do hate it,” I say.
“Could’ve fooled me. I wish I had a video of all that do-si-do stuff.” She snaps, then holds up her phone. “Oh, wait! I do have a video.”
“Lainey!” I say, grabbing for it. “Delete that right now!”
She pulls her phone out of my reach, then slides it back into her purse. “Nope! I may need it one day.”
I shake my head, pretending to be more bothered than I am, as Lainey motions toward Hannah, who is getting cozy in the corner with Archie. “They seem to be hitting it off.”
“Yep.” I nod, feeling happy for Hannah.
“What about Amore?” Lainey asks me. “You gonna do her?”
I blink, determined not to give her the reaction she wants. “You gonna do Ian?”
She grins. “Maybe. He’s cute. I like his beard.”
“You should go for it,” I say.
“Hey. What happened to ‘you’re going to wind up dead in the ocean’?” Lainey says.
“Well, I’d prefer that you come home with me—” I stop, realizing how that sounds.
She hears it, too, raising her eyebrows. “Oh, really?”
“Not like that!” I say, rolling my eyes. “What I meant is, I’d prefer that we all call it a night. But you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do.”
“Yes. I am,” she says, giving me a sultry look as she pulls her shoulders back and pushes her breasts out.
The maneuver isn’t unprecedented; Lainey flirts like she breathes. But it’s been a long time since she’s tried it with me.
I shake my head.
“What?” she asks, her voice turning coy.
“Nothing.” I smile, determined not to play her little games.
The five of us are now in a taxi van, heading back down the mountain toward our hotel. Lainey is sitting between me and a very eager Ian, who is busy firing off jokes and desperately trying to get her attention. Archie and Hannah are behind us, in the third row, whispering and giggling and, by the sound of it, kissing. As we approach our hotel, I wonder if Hannah will be getting out of the car or going back to Archie’s. I can’t tell what Lainey’s plan is, either, but at one point, she puts her hand on Ian’s thigh.
When the cab pulls up to the front door, I get out of the car, waiting to see what the girls do. When neither makes a move, I pull a twenty-euro note out of my wallet, reach across Lainey, and offer it to Ian.
“No way, mate,” he says, shaking his head. “You got more rounds.”
“Yeah. We still owe you,” Archie chimes in.
I thank them, then ask the girls if they have a room key.
“I have one,” Hannah says.
“Okay, then. Stay together. I don’t want to get out of bed to open the door.”
“Yes, sir!” Lainey says, giving me a salute.
I shut the door and head into the hotel, feeling an irrational dash of disappointment that the night is over. I tell myself it’s for the best. I’ve had a lot to drink and need to go to bed.
I pass Alessandro’s desk, his lamp turned off for the evening, then reach the elevator. As I push the button, I hear the clack of footsteps on the marble floor behind me, along with Lainey’s voice calling, “Wait up, dummy.”
I suppress a smile, then turn around to look at her. “What happened?” I ask her. “Did you change your mind?”
“Change my mind about what?” she asks, as we step into the elevator.
“About Ian,” I say, pushing the button for our floor.
“No, I didn’t change my mind about Ian,” she says as the doors close. “I changed my mind about something else.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, feeling a jolt of energy pass between us.
“You’ll see,” she says.