Chapter Nine
“How do I look?” Jenise asked as she stepped out of the dressing room of the bridal salon wearing her emerald-green bridesmaid’s dress. For her sister who was also the matron of honor, Ellen had chosen a strapless chiffon dress with a layered knee-length skirt that showed off her sister’s gorgeous athletic legs. Jenise twirled around to give Ellen a better view.
“You look absolutely beautiful,” Ellen answered. “Maybe I don’t need to have you as my matron of honor after all. You’re going to upstage me as the bride,” she teased.
“That will never happen. You have always been the pretty one. You know I’m the family ugly duckling.” Jenise turned to her left side and looked closer at herself in the mirror.
It broke Ellen’s heart when her sister said things like that. They were both very pretty, but her sister had never believed that she was, and Ellen did not understand why. They both had long, thick hair that reminded people of the actress Shari Headley. Jenise was five feet seven while Ellen was only five feet six. Each of them had slim, shapely bodies, and neither struggled with their weight. By most standards, they were both considered extremely beautiful. The only real difference in how the two sisters looked was that Jenise was much darker than Ellen. This had caused her to be the butt of a lot of teasing when they children. It was always Ellen who was what was considered as light bright, who had to jump in and defend her sister whenever the kids referred to her as chocolate drop or darkie. Jenise would hide her face and run home in tears.
Over the years, Ellen and their parents had tried their best to convince Jenise that she was beautiful no matter what shade her skin was, but Ellen realized that the teasing had deeply affected her self-esteem. She also felt that it was probably the reason that Ellen married a man who was physically abusive. For some reason, her sister didn’t believe she deserved any better.
“Jenise, you are not ugly. You are very beautiful,” Ellen said to reassure her.
“Girl, you are gorgeous,” the salesgirl said, chiming in. “I wish I had your figure. I’d have men lined up taking numbers.”
Jenise looked at her and blushed. “Thank you,” she said. “I know I have a banging body, but it’s this face that needs a bag over it.” She put her hands on her hips and posed in the mirror again.
“Please, your face is gorgeous too,” the salesgirl answered. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were Gabrielle Union’s sister. You look a lot like her, you know.”
When Ellen saw her sister blushing even more she was grateful to see that she finally seemed to be accepting of a genuine compliment.
“Can I try on my dress today too, Auntie Ellen?” Aaliyah said. She was seated beside Ellen dangling her little legs off the chair. “I wanna look pretty like Mommy.”
“No, sweetie, your dress fits just fine. We don’t need you to put it on again. You’ll look just as pretty as your mommy on the wedding day,” Ellen answered.
Jenise finally stopped looking at herself at the mirror and turned toward the dressing room. “Let me get this off, Sissy, and then we can go over to Cedric’s for the food tasting. Are you sure you want me to do this with you? I mean, it really should be your fiancé.”
“I know, and I really wish that Semaj could do it, but he’s been busy at work with the whole Wayne James case for the last week.”
Jenise noticed the worried look on her sister’s face. “Is everything all right with you two, Sissy?”
Ellen looked at her sister, then moved her eyes in Aaliyah’s direction. Their sisterly vibe allowed Jenise to realize that she did not want to talk about it in front of her niece. “Everything’s fine,” she lied.
Jenise knowingly nodded her head, then walked back into the dressing room to take off the dress. She emerged a few moments later and handed it to the salesgirl to bag for them. Then she walked over to where her sister and daughter were sitting.
“Aaliyah, how would you like to spend the rest of the afternoon with your Nanna?” she said.
Both Ellen and Aaliyah stared at her in surprise.
“Can I please?” Aaliyah asked.
It wasn’t often that Aaliyah spent time with her maternal grandparents. Because of the fact that both of her parents were well aware that Reggie was abusive, it had caused a huge rift in their relationship. Her father refused to come to their home, and he made it clear that Reggie was not welcome in his. Jenise’s loyalty kept her from visiting her parents’ home without him, where she knew that she’d be bombarded with constant criticisms of the man she loved.
“If you bring that sorry son of a biscuit eater to my house, I swear I won’t be responsible for my actions,” her father had said once.
Malcolm Winston was a deacon in his church, and he did his best to find new and colorful ways not to curse. However, he had been overly protective of his daughters their entire lives, and they all knew that he would not hesitate to do whatever it took to protect them.
Their mother, Deloris, was the eternal peacekeeper. If her husband was not with her she would sneak over to Jenise’s apartment and spend a few moments with them. Her visits never lasted long, however, as she didn’t want to lie to her husband about her whereabouts. Many times after she was gone, Jenise would find money tucked under a candy dish or in Aaliyah’s underwear drawer, and she knew that her mother was doing her best to be there for them without upsetting their father.
“I called Mom from the dressing room. She’s going to meet us at the front of the mall to pick up Aaliyah and take her to McDonald’s for a Happy Meal. That way, you and I can take our time with Cedric at the tasting.”
“You didn’t have to do that. I don’t mind bringing Aaliyah along with us.”
Jenise put her arm around her sister’s shoulder as she stood up to leave. “I know you don’t, Sissy, but I also know that you need to talk. Besides, you know that little munchkin of mines loves chicken nuggets.” She smiled and winked at Jenise.
The mall was packed with patrons on a Saturday afternoon, so by the time they paid for the dress and maneuvered their way to the front entrance, their mother’s car was sitting idling at the curb. Jenise walked over to open the passenger door for Aaliyah and suddenly noticed that her father was sitting there.
“Daddy? I didn’t know you were coming too,” she said surprised.
Malcolm opened the door of the car and hopped out. “I haven’t seen my granddaughter since Christmas. Your mother assured me that Reggie was not with you so I decided to come along. I hope you don’t mind.” He bent down and picked Aaliyah up into his massive arms and hugged her tightly.
“Hey, Poppa! Can we get some ice cream?” Aaliyah asked. She put her little arms tightly around his neck.
“You can have anything you want, Pumpkin,” he answered.
“Dad, you know I don’t mind you spending time with her. I’m really glad to see you too.” Jenise hugged her dad around his free arm that did not contain her daughter.
Malcolm opened the back passenger door and put Aaliyah in while Jenise walked around to the driver’s side to talk with her mother.
After Malcolm had Aaliyah secured in her seat belt, he closed the door and turned toward Ellen. She was staring out into the parking lot as if lost in thought. “Are you all right, Ellen?” he asked.
She turned and looked in his direction as if she’d just noticed that he was there. “Dad? Yes, I’m fine,” she answered. She leaned down and looked over at her mother. “Hi, Mommy, you look nice today.” She plastered a fake smile on her face.
Her mother’s intuition kicked in as soon as she looked into Ellen’s face. Deloris noticed that she looked exhausted, and she was sure that her smile was not genuine. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey? You look a little tired. Are you getting enough rest?”
“I’m fine, Mommy. It’s just prewedding jitters. Please don’t worry about me.” Ellen tried to make her smile look more authentic.
Deloris was not convinced, but she decided not to push it. “All right then. You call me if you need any help with anything, okay?”
“I will, Mommy. I promise.”
Her mother turned her attention toward Jenise and lowered her voice. “Find out what’s going on with her and you can tell me when I drop off Aaliyah later.”
Jenise nodded her head, then leaned in and kissed her mother on the cheek. “Thanks for keeping Aaliyah today. I really appreciate it.”
On the ride across town to Cedric’s catering company Jenise could tell that her sister’s mind was a million miles away. She tried her best to lighten the mood. “Hey, guess who I ran into at the grocery store yesterday.”
“I don’t know, who?” Ellen asked indifferently.
“Butterbean,” Jenise said, then doubled over in the seat laughing.
In spite of her bad mood, Ellen could not help laughing too. “Butterbean Logan?” she asked.
“Do you know any other Butterbeans? Of course I mean Butterbean Logan.”
The two of them continued laughing hysterically as they headed through Atlanta.
Butterbean Logan was a guy Ellen had met from an online dating service years before she began dating Semaj. Although she’d dated in high school and had one or two boyfriends in college, Ellen had not met anyone whom she felt she could get serious with. Her biological clock was ticking as she inched closer to thirty so she had decided to sign up with the online dating site called Soulmates.com. It turned out to be the one of the most interesting, comical, and horrible dates of her life.
On the night of their date, Ellen was inside her apartment checking her makeup in the mirror one last time when she heard the doorbell ring. She took a long, deep breath and walked to the front door. She peered out of the peephole, but didn’t see anyone.
I must be hearing things, she thought to herself before returning to the bathroom to brush her hair a bit more.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang again so Ellen returned to the front door and peeped out once more. She still did not see anyone. As she stood peering through the peephole she thought she noticed a shadow in the darkness of the breezeway, and she heard someone knocking at the door. Frightened, she stepped back and called out.
“Who is it?” she yelled.
“I’m your date. Butterbean Logan.”
Tentatively, Ellen grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door open and looked down. Standing before her she recognized the handsome face of the man she’d been speaking to online for the past three weeks before setting a date. However, she was sure that he’d stolen the body of a ten-year-old boy. At five foot six, Ellen had not met many men who were shorter than she, but Butterbean was the exception. Even with the lifts he later told her were in his shoes, he still only stood at five foot two.
Any physical attraction that she’d felt online instantly dissipated into thin air, and she seriously considered slamming the door in his face until she realized that would not be the Christian thing to do. Instead, she put on a bogus smile and grabbed her purse so that they could go out to dinner.
In the parking lot she expected him to walk over to a small Toyota or maybe even a Honda as his car. She was shocked when he stepped up to a shiny white Hummer and clicked the auto unlock on his key chain. He politely walked Ellen to her side of the truck, and when the door opened, a custom, three-stair ladder fell down.
“Climb in,” he said.
Ellen did as he said, and then waited while he walked around and climbed up on his customer ladder.
As if reading her mind he began to explain. “I know it looks odd to see such a short man in a big vehicle. No, I’m not overcompensating for anything,” he said, then winked at her. “I just happen to like big trucks. When I bought this I had it specially customized to fit my stature. The dealership welded blocks on the clutch pedal. They put smaller blocks on the brake pedal. They also raised the floorboard.”
“Um, oh, okay,” she said. Ellen realized that he must have plenty of money in order to make all of those changes, but she was seriously unimpressed.
When they arrived at the restaurant she’d chosen Ellen looked around to make sure her escape plan was there. Prior to accepting his invitation to dinner she’d asked Jenise and Reggie to accidentally show up at the same restaurant just in case he turned out to be dangerous or worse and she needed to make a quick exit. The two of them were seated near the front, and Jenise winked at her as she and Butterbean walked by on the way to their table. Reggie burst out laughing, and Jenise had to quiet him down to keep the entire restaurant from staring at him.
“Don’t worry about that jerk,” Butterbean said as they took their seats. “I get laughed at and stared at all the time. It doesn’t bother me because I remind myself that I’m twice as tall as them when I’m standing on my wallet.” He smiled broadly at her.
Realizing that she needed to make the most of the situation, Ellen tried her best at polite conversation. “So your profile listed Butterbean as your handle. What’s your real name?”
“Butterbean Logan is my real name. It was my mother’s favorite bean.”
Ellen stared at him in disbelief.
“My mother was kind of spacey. She was probably one of the last leftovers from the hippies of the sixties. I loved her dearly, God rest her soul, but she smoked up most of her brain cells long before I or my siblings were born,” he explained in a matter-of-fact manner.
As the evening dragged on, Butterbean told Ellen about his brother that everyone called Hal, but his birth name was Jalapeño. Their mother had named him after her favorite pepper. And he couldn’t leave out his sister, Holiday, who was not born on Christmas, Easter, or even Arbor Day. She was born during one of the hottest summers on record in Brooklyn, New York. Butterbean explained that at that time his mother was one of those people that you’d see on Oprah Winfrey or TLC who said they didn’t realize they were pregnant until their water broke. She was standing in front of the street cart that she sold homemade necklaces from wishing for a holiday when she suddenly doubled over in pain. It made perfect sense to her that her daughter should be named Holiday as she is what turned up immediately after her wish.
He also felt no embarrassment in telling her that his mother died in a mysterious accident while visiting his father’s family in Alabama. He openly told her that although it was never proved, most people believed that his paternal grandmother had pushed her down a flight of stairs because she couldn’t believe that her handsome, educated black son had married such a homely piece of poor white trash.
Later, Butterbean remarked that Ellen had beautiful skin, and she briefly thought that he was giving her an actual compliment. Then he followed it up by stating that he normally did not date black women, but he made an exception in her case due to her light complexion. If things worked out the way he hoped they would, he told her he was sure they wouldn’t end up with any tar babies for children.
The date went steadily downhill from that point as she struggled to keep from barfing while watching his atrocious table manners. Butterbean chewed his food with his mouth gaping wide open. The few times that he did close his mouth he smacked his big pink lips so loud the patrons at the next table could overhear the sound. As if he was down home on a farm in Kentucky, he took his bread and sopped up the sauce from his plate, then shoved it toward Ellen to take a bite. Declining, she glanced over at Jenise and Reggie to give them the signal that she was ready to leave, but they were too engrossed in each other to notice.
When it seemed to Ellen that things could not get any worse he decided to explain to her why he did not believe in God. Ellen was flabbergasted as the Web site they’d met on was supposed to be for Christian singles. Butterbean explained that he was not a Christian and he wholeheartedly did not believe that God existed. He felt the notion of someone being able to have three parts, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, was absolutely ridiculous.
Although something inside her told her that she’d live to regret it, Ellen could not help asking why, if he felt that way, he joined a dating site for Christians. His answer was just the catalyst she needed to get up from the table and walk out on him. Grinning from ear to ear, he calmly stated that regardless of their religious fantasies, Christian girls were always the freakiest in bed. Ellen was surprised that she didn’t leave skid marks on the floor as she rushed over to her sister’s table and begged them to take her home.
Still laughing as she pulled into the parking lot of Cedric’s catering, Ellen could not help but thank God that she had dodged that bullet and subsequently found Semaj, who was the love of her life.
“He’s put on weight,” Jenise said. “Now the name Butterbean fits him perfectly.” Glad to see her sister finally smiling she reached for the car door.
They got out of the car and went inside. As soon as the clerk asked where Semaj was, Jenise noticed the cloud wash over her sister’s face again.
“Um, he couldn’t make it, but I brought my sister along to help me choose the menu.”
Noticing the look on her face the clerk did his best to reassure her. “That’s fine. We’ve done tastings with all of the bridesmaids and both mothers. Wedding planning is usually a female thing. Don’t let it bother you, honey.”
Ellen appreciated his encouragement, but it wasn’t the fact that Semaj was missing the tasting that bothered her most. It was the fact that within a few shorts weeks she’d begun to wonder if the man she was about to marry was who she’d always thought he was.
It began with his mood changing drastically after his four-day disappearance. Then just when she thought things were back on track, they began to spiral out of control again. She’d noticed that he was always on edge and constantly taking phone calls that he didn’t want her to overhear. A few of the times she’d noticed that the person on the caller ID was Semaj’s cousin, Rip, and that worried her. Even though he claimed to be on the right side of the law since his shooting and subsequent hospital stay, Ellen remembered the Rip that used to rule the projects she grew up in with an iron fist and 9 mm gun. By that time, her parents had moved their family away from the projects and into a nice house in the suburbs, but Ellen had many friends and relatives who still resided there. They gave her information on the downward spiral the neighborhood was taking due to drugs, and she also knew who was responsible. Rip. Although he’d never gotten his own hands dirty, she knew he’d given the order that resulted in the shooting, stabbing, or beating of many of the residents of Sand Poole Manor.
For years, she’d blamed him solely for the demise of her cousin, Gigi. Of course, the police said that Gigi had died from a heart attack in an abandoned apartment that had become a crack house, but Ellen was well aware that it was prolonged use of cocaine that damaged her twenty-three-year-old heart. Even before her death, it pained Ellen and Jenise as they watched the little girl they used to play dolls with grow into a crack zombie, selling her body for one more hit. If it had not been for Rip and others like him, who sold their people’s souls for a few dollars, Ellen was sure her cousin would still be alive.
When Semaj had told her during their first month of dating that he wanted her to meet his cousin and best friend, Marion, she had no idea that it was the notorious Rip from Sand Poole Manor. He was almost unrecognizable after the weight loss, but he confirmed during their first meeting that he indeed was the legend. Since that time, Rip had always treated her with respect, and she’d almost begun to actually look at him as a different person. That was, until Semaj began acting erratically every time his phone rang and Rip was on the other end. It also wasn’t lost on her that when he’d disappeared and gone home to Andrus, S.C., Rip was the only person who seemed to know about it. In the past, their closeness had not bothered Ellen, but every time she prayed, the Spirit warned her that this was totally different. She knew what Rip was capable of, and it terrified her to think that Semaj now seemed to be his right-hand man.
“Ellen, who is this beautiful model you’ve brought with you today?” Cedric asked. He walked into the lobby area to greet them.
“This is my sister and matron of honor, Jenise Murphy.” She turned to her sister. “Jenise, this is the best chef in all of Atlanta, and my classmate from North Carolina A&T, Cedric Grier.”
Jenise extended her hand to Cedric and warmly shook it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Grier,” she said.
“Call me Cedric, everyone does. Follow me, ladies.”
He took them into a room that looked like a private dining room. The round table was set with a white tablecloth and an emerald green lace overlay. In the center of the table was an eighteen inch tall vase filled with green apples, water, and a floating candle on top. The place setting was white plate with gold trim that Ellen and Semaj had chosen as their china setting. Around the table were two chairs with a white covering and an emerald green sash tied around the back. Ellen’s mouth fell open, and she gasped with delight when she saw it.
“This is stunning!” Jenise said.
“I know that you only hired me to do the food, Ellen, but this is my vision for your reception décor. What do you think?”
Slowly, Ellen walked over to the table and traced her fingers along the silk tablecloth. Tears welled up in her eyes, and she turned to look at Cedric. “I think it’s the most exquisite thing I’ve ever seen.”
Cedric beamed with pride. “Thank you. Now just let me get another chair and an additional plate. Is Semaj on his way?”
Once again Ellen’s face fell as she remembered her fiancé and the way he’d been acting for the past couple of weeks. She looked at her sister, and then at Cedric. “Semaj is . . . I mean, he has been . . . I’m sorry you’ve gone to so much trouble. Everything is beautiful, and I’m sure the food tastes absolutely wonderful.”
The tears that had welled up in her eyes earlier began to fall down her cheeks. Cedric thought they were tears of joy, but Jenise knew better. She rushed over and put her arms around her sister. “Sissy, are you okay?”
“Take me home, Jenise,” she sobbed. “The wedding is off,” she said.