Chapter Ten
Reggie sat in the radio station lobby twiddling his thumbs impatiently as he waited for the receptionist to take him to the back for his appointment. He’d received a phone call from the DJ after he’d watched one of Reggie’s videos on YouTube. He sent him a message asking him to stop by with a demo for him to listen to and to discuss the possibility of having Reggie’s songs played on the radio. It was a small local radio station, but Reggie realized that Atlanta was a huge town that was home to hundreds of celebrities and even on a small station he could be heard by the right person.
He waited for more than an hour for the receptionist to return. He was beginning to feel discouraged when to his surprise and delight, the owner, Curtis Jansen, who was also the Sunday morning DJ, walked out the door with his hand extended.
“Reggie, it’s a pleasure to meet the man behind the music. Your video was great, and I absolutely love the demo that you brought in. Come into my office and let’s talk business,” he said.
The meeting went fabulously. Curtis told Reggie that he wanted to hear more of his music and he intended to feature him on the following Sunday’s morning show. He also told him that he had recently purchased a small studio and was interested in starting his own record label. If he was willing, he wanted Reggie to be his first artist. Curtis believed that with Reggie’s talent and the exposure he could give him on the radio station they were both sure to make a lot of money. Although they didn’t sign anything, Reggie happily agreed, and Curtis advised that he’d be hearing from his attorney soon to finalize the agreement. An hour later, an elated Reggie rushed into their apartment filled with excitement.
“Jenise, Jenise!” he screamed.
He went into the bedroom, the bathroom, and the kitchen, but he still couldn’t find her anywhere. “That heffa ain’t never here when I need her,” he said to himself. He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a beer, twisted off the cap, turned it up, and reached in for another one to take with him to the living room. He got comfortable on the couch watching basketball and drinking beer while he waited for Jenise to return home.
The sound of Jenise opening the front door awoke him from his drunken stupor. He sat up and turned his wrist to check his watch. “Where you been, girl?” he demanded. “It’s almost midnight.”
“Shhh, Aaliyah’s sleeping,” she answered softly. Jenise was carrying her daughter in her arms. She walked past Reggie and took Aaliyah to her bedroom, then laid her down.
Reggie sat on the couch angrily awaiting her return. As soon as she entered the living room he began his tirade. “I asked you where you have been. Don’t make me ask again,” he sneered.
“I told you earlier that I was going shopping with Ellen.”
“You’ve been gone all day and half the night. Do you think I’m stupid or something? The mall closed a long time ago. Anyway, if you went shopping where are your bags?”
As he continued chastising her like a little girl, his voice got louder and louder and the accusations flew right and left. Even though she had a reasonable explanation for every second of the time that she was gone, she’d learned a long time ago that there was no use in trying to explain that to Reggie. It seemed to her that hearing the truth only made him angrier, and she’d come to the realization that he didn’t want the truth; he wanted to be right. If she explained her whereabouts, it would only prove his anger wrong, and the last thing Reggie wanted to be was wrong. Instead of further agitating him with a reasonable explanation, she decided to sit quietly and allow him to continue his rant in the hopes that he’d get tired of hearing himself yell and finally shut up.
Things had not always been so bad between them. Jenise began reminiscing about the good times with Reggie soon after learning her sister was engaged. While Ellen seemed to struggle with finding the right one before meeting Semaj, Jenise met Reggie her freshman year in high school and they’d been together ever since. Their initial meeting happened when they both auditioned for the high school Glee club.
Jenise’s earliest memory of singing had been when she was five years old. Her mother often told the story to anyone who would listen. Deloris had been in the kitchen one Saturday evening preparing her Sunday dinner because she wholeheartedly believed in keeping the Sabbath day holy. Each Saturday evening she’d serve her family hot dogs, hamburgers, or some other meal that was easy to prepare; then she’d cook her Sunday dinner and place it in the refrigerator overnight. After the family attended church service on Sunday morning, she’d warm up the dinner in the oven, thereby not committing a sin by working on a Sunday.
That particular evening, Deloris was busy flouring chicken pieces for frying. Malcolm had taken Ellen across town to her weekly piano lesson, and Deloris and Jenise were alone in the apartment when she heard a small, yet strong voice wafting from the bedroom. She wiped her hands on her apron and went down the hallway to the girl’s room. Inside, she saw Jenise had lined her collection of Barbie dolls and Teddy bears up as if they were a church choir, and she was their director. Without making a sound, Deloris listened quietly as her five-year-old daughter sang her favorite hymn.
“When I’ve gone the last mile of the way, I shall rest at the close of the day; And I know there are joys that await me, When I’ve gone the last mile of the way.”
Fighting back tears, Deloris could hardly believe how melodious the tones were. It astounded her that she knew all of the words, but it impressed her even more that Jenise hit each and every note with almost perfect pitch.
The next Saturday morning Jenise became the newest member of The Sunbeam Children’s choir at their church. By the time she was ten years old, she was the featured soloist. Everywhere the choir sang people were in awe of the little girl with the big anointed voice. Jenise loved to sing. It made her feel appreciated, and it was the only time that people didn’t point out how dark skinned she was. If she had her way, Jenise would have sung every word that she spoke because it was the only time that she believed that it made people look past her chocolate skin and actually see how beautiful she was inside.
By the time she was a freshman in high school, Jenise was a confident and strong soprano when she stepped in front of the judges and auditioned to join the Glee club. She’d stood in churches all over the state of Georgia and brought tears to the eyes of an entire congregation, so there was no doubt in her mind that she possessed the skills to be a member. All of her singing up until that point had been within the confines of her church at her parents’ insistence, but she was ready to learn how to sing other songs beside hymns and spirituals. She knew that she possessed a God-given talent, but she also believed that by being a member of the Glee club she would receive the proper training that she believed that she needed in order to nurture that gift.
After her successful audition, Jenise decided to hang around and listen to some of the others who were also auditioning. Several girls squeaked out weak renditions of the latest pop songs. Jenise noticed that most of the guys still sang in a high register as their voices had not begun to change. Reggie Murphy was the last to step out on the stage. Jenise was not initially impressed. She felt that he was fairly cute, but way too skinny. However, when he opened his mouth to sing, she was not only overwhelmed with his lush bravado and perfect pitch, she was mesmerized by him.
The two of them began dating, and they often sang duets together at talent shows, showcases, and churches throughout their home state of Georgia, and they’d even traveled as far away as Virginia and Ohio. They had magic when they sang secular duets, but the anointing that poured down when they sang gospel was indescribable. Jenise loved the passion and power that Reggie had when he sang, and it wasn’t long before both of them felt that same passion toward each other.
On her eighteenth birthday, Jenise discovered that she was pregnant. She’d suspected it for several weeks, but honestly believed that if she ignored it, that maybe it would not be true. She confided in her older sister, and Ellen accompanied her to a doctor who advised that she was already three months along. Crying in the car as they drove home, Jenise worried about how in the world she would be able to break the news to her parents. In less than a week she would be graduating from high school, and she’d already received an acceptance letter and a full scholarship from Spelman College’s music department. Being devout Christians, she knew that her parents would be sorely disappointed.
Malcolm Winston’s demeanor after hearing the news surprised everyone. Ellen suggested that Jenise tell both of her parents following dinner that evening, and she held her sister’s hand while she spoke for moral support. They watched their father as Jenise shared her news, prepared to hear him yell, scream, or even cry, but no emotion showed on his face at all. Instead, he calmly walked into the kitchen, picked up the phone that was hanging on the wall, and called Reggie’s father.
“May I speak with Reverend Clarence Murphy,” he said.
The two men spoke for less than ten minutes. As a result of their intense conversation, Jenise graduated high school, announced her engagement, had a bridal shower, and became Reggie’s wife, all within the same month. Although Reggie fought it, his father demanded that he give up his plans to attend Julliard in the fall and do the right thing by Jenise. In exchange, he cosigned for the two of them to move into a nice two-bedroom apartment, bought them new furniture, and hired Reggie as his church’s musical director. It didn’t pay much, but it allowed him the free time that he needed to work on his other music projects. Jenise was disappointed that she would not be attending Spelman, but she reasoned that she had the rest of her life to go back to school. She’d begun to feel happy and excited as she anticipated becoming a mother.
For about three months the newlyweds led what Jenise believed was a happy life. Jenise took a job working in a call center for the local telephone company, and although money was tight she was happy and in love . . . until the night Reggie came home angry, drank six beers in less than a half hour, and she discovered the abusive man that she’d married. Throughout their courtship he’d never been mean, or sullen, and never violent, and even with the burning sensation that ran across her cheek when he slapped her, Jenise could not believe that he’d actually hit her.
Jenise blamed herself. She knew that Reggie liked to eat dinner before 7:00 P.M., and she was late cooking for him that night because she’d gone to the grocery store after work. He was absolutely right, she reasoned. If she managed her time better, it never would’ve happened, and if she made her husband happy, it would never happen again.
But it did happen again, later that same week. This time, Reggie was in a rage, and he didn’t even need alcohol to fuel it further.
“I am sick of those idiots at my father’s church,” he screamed as he stomped into the apartment and slammed the door.
“What happened?” Jenise asked. She was flabbergasted at how angry he seemed to be when he returned from choir rehearsal. Singing God’s praises always made her feel happy and alive, and at one point in their lives she knew it did the same thing for him. But lately, it had seemed to have the opposite effect.
“We spent three hours rehearsing the same song, and they still couldn’t get it right. I played their parts over and over and over again. The tenors couldn’t remember it to save their lives. The altos were flat, and you know the sopranos can’t carry a tune without you there to help them.”
By that time, Jenise was almost six months pregnant and after working all day she just couldn’t find the energy to go to choir rehearsal. If she’d known how disastrous that one decision would turn out to be, she would have been the first person to arrive.
“I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be there next week. I promise,” she said.
“Lorrelle tried to sing your solo, and it sounded horrible. I’m sick of dealing with that prima donna. Every note out of her mouth is flatter than ten dimes.”
At that point in her marriage Jenise had not learned the art of allowing Reggie to vent without her speaking. In her mind, she believed that if she apologized enough and made enough excuses for the other singers, he would calm down and listen, but she was wrong. While she was trying her best to explain that Lorrelle was recovering from a severe sinus infection that had adversely affected her voice, Reggie looked at her with a fire and rage in his eyes that she’d never seen before in her life. It was as if the fires of Hades had risen up in him and Satan now possessed his entire being. He drew his fist back and punched her with all of his might. Jenise had been standing in front of the couch, but the force of the blow threw her forward into the coffee table. As her stomach smashed against the wood, it shattered into a bunch of pieces and she fell facedown on the floor. Lying in a pool of her own blood she felt a tightening pain in her abdomen and she knew that something was terribly wrong. She waited for Reggie to ask her if she was all right and help her up. However, he merely turned his back to her, walked into their bedroom, and slammed the door.
Crawling across the floor, she managed to reach the phone and dialed 911. When the paramedics rang the doorbell, Reggie finally came out of the bedroom and peered through the peephole.
“Thank God, you finally got here. My wife tripped on the rug and fell onto the coffee table. Please help her,” he lied as he let them in.
Jenise knew that she should protest and tell them the truth, but at that moment, her only thought was for the safety of her unborn child. Correcting the paramedics could wait she thought as they turned her over.
“Be careful, she’s pregnant,” Reggie said. For a moment, Jenise began to believe that he really did care about her and the baby.
To this day, Jenise had never told her family the real truth even though the fall resulted in the miscarriage of her unborn child. Instead, she had accepted Reggie’s apology and allowed everyone to believe that it was just an awful accident. She’d also lost two other pregnancies as a result of savage beatings from him. Not even Reggie had been aware of her condition, and she vowed never to breathe a word of it. When she became pregnant with Aaliyah, she knew that she had to do everything in her power to protect her baby. Reggie still hit her at least once a month, but she made sure to always protect her stomach and take the blows to her face. Unfortunately, the consequences of that strategy meant that first Ellen, and then her parents, soon discovered the abuse as she could not hide the black eyes, busted lips, or swollen cheeks. They begged and pleaded with her to leave, but Jenise refused.
That same year, Reggie’s father had passed away from colon cancer and another minister had taken over at his church. Not only did Reggie lose his job as musical director, but Jenise had also lost the one person who actually seemed to be able to reason with her husband. Reggie refused to take what he deemed to be a lowly regular job, and instead, concentrated solely on his music, while Jenise struggled to make ends meet. As a result, they’d had to move out of the apartment his father had leased for them and move to the projects at Sand Poole Manor.
As Jenise held her sister in her arms that afternoon while she sobbed in the middle of the caterer’s dining room, she reasoned that no relationship was perfect. Everyone had their problems and with God’s love and a lot of prayer, she believed that she could work through the problems in her marriage.
Reggie continued to rant and rave, and she retreated to her secret place as she recited Psalm 91:1–2 from the New Living Translation over and over in her head trying to drown him out. “Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the LORD: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him.”
Reggie quickly grew tired of ranting and was even more enraged by Jenise obviously ignoring him. He slapped her violently across her face with his open palm several times.
Jenise heard a bloodcurdling scream as she crumpled onto the floor, but she knew it had not come from her.
“Mommy, Mommy are you all right?” Aaliyah cried.