Holiday Tip

Be careful what you wear to group functions. Below is a picture of a sweater I wore on Thanksgiving. It was one of the years I did make it back to Ohio. After dinner with my family, I made the rounds in my hometown, visiting friends from high school. Upon my arrival for dessert at one of my old besties’, her elderly grandma saw me from across the room and sent a potent stink eye my way. Turns out her vision was fading, so when she squinted to see me at the other end of the table, she thought I showed up at the Midwest home in a crop top. While there’s nothing wrong with a man in a crop top, I wouldn’t bare midriff in the cold Ohio month of November.

Upon further reflection, it does appear as though I was showing off my stomach. Oops.

The lesson here is that you should always photograph yourself in various lights and angles before leaving the house in your new festive sweater.

(They tell me this photo will appear in black and white, but just know that in full Technicolor, the bottom half looks like the same tone as my skin.)