Merrick and I have been apart nearly all day. After alerting Lea and Peter to what happened, I was ushered upstairs by the former and dressed as she half-chastised me for catching my death outside in the early fall air.
When Merrick finally returned home, he’d locked himself in his study where he’s remained all day. The desire to be near him is strong, but my need for quiet outweighed it—this time.
I curl my knees up and stare out at the gravestones from my seat at the base of a large tree. The sun is starting to sink in the distance, letting me know dusk is soon approaching, but I make no move to go inside. Soon, but not yet.
Out here in the light breeze, surrounded by the cheerful chirping of birds, I can almost recall the happiest memories I shared with Bonnie and Ezra. Moments that we’d stolen in between my studies and the king’s watchful eyes.
The first time Ezra taught me to ride a horse.
When Bonnie taught me to embroider.
Moments in time when they’d shown me just how much they loved me.
A brightly colored butterfly the same shade of a new day lands atop the stone of Bonnie’s headstone.
There, it flexes its wings before taking off into the sky once more. I smile. Bonnie loved butterflies. “I miss you,” I whisper as a tear rolls down my cheek.
“There you are.”
I glance over as Lea crosses toward me, the dark skirt of her dress lightly touching the grass. The basket in her hands is full of bread and cheese. My stomach growls. When was the last time I ate?
She sits down beside me, the sun glinting beautifully off her dark skin. “You forgot to eat today.” The woman offers me the basket, so I pluck out a piece of bread.
“I apologize, it’s been quite a day.”
“So I’ve heard.” After offering me a smile, she turns to face the gravestones. “Ezra was very kind while he was here. Was his wife the same?”
“She was,” I reply with a smile. “They were the most amazing couple, too. Always looking out for each other. Ezra blackened more than one eye when the other guards disrespected her.” Smiling, I recall the memory of seeing Simon, one of the guards, cradling his nose after Ezra had broken it during what he claimed to have been a training session.
“I am so sorry, Kiya. I know I already told you once, and that words cannot ease your pain, but I am just so damned sorry.”
Turning to her, I offer a smile that has fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. “Thank you, Lea. I hope you know how much of a friend I consider you.”
She nudges my shoulder with hers. “I’d hope so. Otherwise, it would be quite strange for me to consider you my friend and you not return the sentiment.”
Real, heart-felt joy brings a smile to my face. “Since we’re friends,” I start, desperate for a conversation change. “What is going on between you and Maynard?”
Her cheeks turn rosy, and she looks away, laughing nervously. “I have no idea what you are talking about, Beta.”
“Come on, now. It’s Kiya. And we were talking about the feelings you clearly carry for my brother-in-law.”
“Maynard and I—” she trails off.
“Have you told him you love him?”
She lets out a breath. “It’s that obvious then?”
“The only way it would be more obvious would be if you were to write it on a rock and throw it at my head.”
Lea laughs and tucks her knees up then wraps both arms around them. “I am so foolishly in love with him it would make a fairy sick.”
“A fairy, huh?” I grin.
“He is honorable,” she starts, “Well, you know that much. And so handsome. Strong. I’m not sure how I couldn’t love him as I do.”
“Which is why you get very little sleep then.”
“Missing moments with him are just not something I care to do. Even if it is only from afar.”
“Neither of you has ever acted on it?”
She shakes her head. “How could we? He is the son of an Alpha. Might as well be a prince. And I am—”
“A beautiful woman who just so happens to cook and cleans for him. Something that does not make you beneath anyone.”
“I’m not sure Lark feels the same.”
“Lark is no longer woman of this house,” I reply fervently. “Love is love, Lea. Status be damned.”
She takes a deep breath and smiles at me. “Then perhaps, one day, I might find out whether or not he feels the same.”
“He does,” I tell her without hesitation. “I’ve seen the way he watches you when he believes you are not looking. Hell, even when he knows you are.”
“And what of the curse? I’ll grow old and die while he remains the same delectably handsome man he is.”
“If I have my way, we’ll be dealing with the king and then finding the witch who cursed them. Once it’s broken, we’ll both get to remain at the sides of the men we love.”
“Men we love,” she repeats. “Tell me, did you ever believe you would have fallen for Merrick the way you have? Talk about love and longing looks, you two put off so much heat you may burn the house down one day. And it’s made of stone.”
Now it’s my turn to laugh. “If you had told me when I’d first arrived that I was going to fall in love with my husband, I never would have believed you. He was a brute, a savage, an asshole,” I add with a laugh.
“Has much changed?” Lea questions with a giggle of her own.
“It has not. But, now I see the beauty in him as well. The loyalty. He’s the best man I’ve ever known.”
Lea releases her legs to wrap an arm around my shoulders. “I told you to give him time, didn’t I?”
“You did,” I reply with a smile. “Right before you sent me into his springs where I got chastised.”
“That was your own fault. You never should have been in the water if you cannot swim.” Lea pushes to her feet as the sun continues to sink lower in the sky. “You coming in?”
“Not yet. I want to sit with them a bit longer.”
She smiles at me. “Understood. Take another hunk of bread, then you’d best be inside for dinner, or I’ll have Maynard come drag you in.”
I do as she asks and smile up at her. “I’ll be there.”
Lea offers me a nod and then turns and heads inside.
“Oh, Bonnie.” Sniffling, I try to picture what she’d tell me now. How she’d advise me to deal with the king, the curse, and everything in between. I imagine that she’d tell me it was time for me to fully accept that I am the woman of this house.
The beta.
That it is time to learn how to behave as such and stop relying only on a title.
“My love.”
I turn my head as Merrick drops to the ground beside me. Leaning in, he presses a kiss to my temple and then wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Did you get everything taken care of?” My tone is sharp, and he clearly picks up on it.
“I did. What troubles you?”
“I am the beta of this house.”
“You are.”
“What are my duties?”
“Duties?”
“Yes. A queen has her tasks, a princess hers, so what are my jobs as beta? Do I simply sit around and wait for you to make the decisions? Do I visit with the people in town?”
Merrick releases me so he can situate himself in front of me. It blocks my view of the graves, but I’m far too irritated to care. It’s not even that I’m angry with him—or not exclusively with him, at least—but more that I’ve been living in the moment rather than planning for an actual future here.
“Kiya,” he says, my name a soft whisper as he reaches up and brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “Your duties are whatever you wish them to be.”
“Then I wish to be kept in the loop when it comes to things like dead wolves and a plan to destroy the king.”
“You wished to remain behind and help us bury the wolves?”
“If that is what needed to be done, yes. I may be a woman, Merrick, but I am not helpless.”
He chuckles, which only pisses me off further. “I never thought you helpless, Kiya.”
“No? Then why did you send me away?”
“To get Peter.”
“But I wasn’t allowed to return.”
“You were allowed to do whatever you wanted. I never said you had to stay away, did I?”
I think back, recalling his exact words, then let out a sigh. “No, I suppose you did not. But you kept me away today, locking your study and not allowing me to be a part of whatever it is you were doing. We spent the whole day apart, and there’s no telling how long we have left.” My throat constricts as my mind pieces together an image of Merrick lying on the grass-stained ground.
Losing Bonnie and Ezra was heartbreaking.
But losing Merrick would shatter me.
“It is never my intention to keep you out of any business regarding our lives or home, mate. In my pack, a beta is just as strong as her alpha. More so even. The only difference is that, when it comes time for a fight, it is the alpha who stands ready to bleed.”
“And if it’s my fight?”
“There is no fight of yours that is not mine.”
“Then there is no fight of yours that is not mine,” I repeat.
Merrick smiles. “As it should be.” He tips his face up to the sky, studying the sinking sun. “Can I walk you inside before the sun is down?”
“As long as you’re planning on staying around.”
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” He reaches down and pulls me to my feet. “If I am indoors when I shift, the beast will be less likely to run.”
Linking my arm through his, we make our way into the house. We’re just reaching the stairs when I hear MacKenna’s voice echo through the halls. “Another day gone.”
Merrick and I stop. His chest heaves with the force of his deep breath. Whether it’s relief, confusion, or fear, I cannot be sure.
“I suppose you’re not shifting tonight,” I tell Merrick.
“It would seem I’m not.”
As we walk to the dining hall, I continue. “I don’t understand why they are being forced to shift and you are not.”
Merrick sighs. “My only thought is that perhaps there are still traces of wolfsbane lingering in my system. Not enough to kill me,” he adds, likely due to the fact that the blood rushed from my face at the thought of him slowly succumbing to the poison. “But enough to mute my wolf. The curse is tied to that side of me, so it would make sense that it would suffer due to the toxin.”
“You’ll tell me if you feel weak?”
“Of course.” He stops and pulls me toward him, stealing my breath in a passionate kiss. Blood pounds in my ears as my limbs turn liquid. “I’ve been wanting to do that all day.”
“You should have.”
He smiles then releases me.
“I want you to teach me to fight.”
“To fight.”
“Yes. I want to be able to defend myself.”
“I am your blade, Beta.”
“That is fine. But I will be yours. I spent far too long being treated as though I am weak. And besides the few things Ezra taught me to fend off assaulters, I know nothing. Teach me. Please.”
To my complete surprise, Merrick nods. “I will teach you, Beta. As long as you allow me to be at your side when the time comes to fight this war. You do not fight it alone.”
For the first time today, a warmth burns through my chest that feels a hell of a lot like hope. I smile. “I promise.”
He kisses me noisily then guides me into the dining room where his brothers are gathered. They all turn to him.
“Merrick!” Maxwell runs over and throws himself at us. Merrick catches him mid-jump, crushing the small boy against his chest.
At nine, Maxwell is the youngest of the brothers—cursed to an eternity of being a child. “Good to see you, scamp.” He sets his brother down and ruffles his hair. While Merrick’s black hair is laced with silver, Maxwell, Madox, and Maverick share dark, raven-colored hair. Maynard, Myke, and MacKenna’s hair is far closer to their brothers, though MacKenna’s is more white than the others.
Makes me wonder what caused the differentiating colors. Was their mother’s hair white before it turned silver?
Myke grins at his older brother. “Madox promised to take us out hunting birds tonight.”
“Birds?” Merrick arches a brow. “Don’t you get enough hunting during the day?”
“Mother doesn’t let us go outside,” Myke complains.
“Someone needs to keep you lot in check,” Lark says as she takes her seat at the table.
Lea comes in, her hair pulled off the nape of her neck. The soft blue gown complements beautifully with her dark skin. My gaze instantly shifts to Maynard, and I get the absolute joy of watching him lose his breath.
His lips part ever so slightly, eyes widening.
But the moment she looks at him, he forces his attention away.
The fool.
“What news is there today?” Maynard questions after clearing his throat.
“I assume you know of the dead wolves left at the boundary line.” Merrick ushers me into a chair before taking his seat beside me—at the head of the table.
“Hard to miss that stench,” MacKenna spits out. “Fucking bastard. Slaughtering innocent creatures.”
“As horrific as it is,” Maynard says, “We learned something from it.”
“Confirmation that the king knows what you all are.” I shake my head. “He’s known this entire fucking time.”
“Which is why he had me attacked with wolfsbane,” Merrick says. “Though I very much doubt he knew it would have killed me.”
“Unless he knows of your curse,” Maverick offers.
“Doubtful,” Maynard replies. “My guess is that he doesn’t believe it’s a curse but rather that Merrick’s true form is the beast.”
“Which is why he wants our child.”
At this, Lark turns toward me. “He won’t get a child from you.”
“No. He won’t.”
She offers a slight dip of her head then shifts her gaze to Merrick.
“We’re going to need to deal with him sooner rather than later.” MacKenna leans back in his seat and crosses his arms. “Or he’ll keep casting until we bite.”
“We’re going to bite,” Merrick assures them. “But it will be on our terms.” He stands. “Now. Given that we get very little time together, let’s not talk of war.”
I smile. Getting to see Merrick interact with his brothers brings joy to my broken heart. “I couldn’t agree more.”
“I’ll get the whiskey.” Lea offers.
“I’ll help.” Maynard stands, but Lea stops him with a glare.
“Not a damned chance. If you find out where I’ve hidden it, we won’t have any left. At least, this way, I can moderate.” She turns on her heel and stalks out of the room.
“I’ve always known where it is,” Maynard says as soon as she’s out of earshot.
“Then I’ll be telling her to move it,” MacKenna replies with a wink.
As conversation continues around us, Merrick slips a hand beneath the table and rests it on my thigh. Warmth spreads through my body, a need that I fully intend on sating later. For now, though, I simply cover his large hand with my much smaller one, threading my fingers through it and take in the sounds of happy chatter from the brothers around me.