50 PART I Knowing What to Do
airport that is a hotbed for tempers flaring as flights get delayed, bags end up on some undiscovered planet, and precious seat assignments go to the “wrong” people.
Awareness is key. In chapter 11, “Moving Toward Mastery,” I provide suggestions for ways to learn to work with resistance. But for now, you can learn a lot just by watching.
The next chapter covers knee-jerk reactions. These are the things that can kill otherwise wonderful plans. They are the things we do before we think.
Taking Their Side
Peter Block is the author of many important books, including Community: The Structure of Belonging, and co-author of The Abundant Commu- nity: Awakening the Power of Families and Neighborhoods, and is a highly regarded organizational consultant. He has a unique ability to state clearly what others wish they had said. I have long admired his thinking on the subject of resistance.
RM: Peter, how do you handle resistance?
PB: I don’t believe that resistance is a problem or something to be over- come, so part of how I handle it is how I think about it. We rarely expe- rience our own resistance—so we don’t want somebody to overcomeit. All the combative language about resistance only intensifies it: If we overcome it, get around it, reduce it, deal with it—all those verbs indi- cate that it is a problem to be solved. Resistance is simply a reluctance to choose.
We have just not made up our mind whether to yield and surren- der to what’s asked of us or to keep on as is. Our inability to choose is an emotional issue usually stuck on questions like: “What’s the point? How optimistic am I about the future and what it holds? How vulner- able do I feel at this moment?”
RM: What do you do when you face people who resist you?
PB: I say, “How can I take their side?” They must be acting with good cause, with good reason, so I support the resistance. I support people not making a choice—I can also live with whatever choice they make.