<style type="text/css"> /*<![CDATA[*/ h2.sgc-1 {text-align: center;} blockquote.sgc-5 {margin: 0 0 0 40px; border: none; padding: 0px;} span.sgc-4 {font-style: italic; font-weight: normal} p.sgc-3 {font-weight: bold; text-align: center} span.sgc-2 {font-weight: normal;} span.sgc-8 {font-weight: normal; font-size: medium;} span.sgc-7 {font-size: 19px; font-weight: bold;} p.sgc-6 {text-align: right;} p.sgc-9 {font-weight: bold} /*]]>*/ </style> <meta content="urn:uuid:2657a2f5-234f-4d66-81f5-bb874a97787f" name="Adept.expected.resource"/> </head> <body> <p class="sgc-6">Chapter 4 The Danger of Knee-Jerk Reactions 59<br/></p> <p><br/></p> <p>it won’t matter. You will lose. The word will get out that it is dangerous to say anything that might upset you.</p> <p><span class="sgc-7"><br/></span></p> <p class="sgc-9">Give In Too Soon</p> <h3 class="sigilNotInTOC" id="heading_id_2"><span class="sgc-8">We may believe that the resistance is so strong that we give up before we ever know the true level of opposition or whether there might have been a way to arrive at some common understanding. I have seen middle man- agers so beaten down by the bureaucracy that they give up almost before they begin. They seemed to live under a cloud of pessimism. As soon as the clouds began to darken, they abandoned their plans. They seldom waited to see how strong the storm could be. These people fail to see the context. They can’t see when it might be safe to join the conversation.</span></h3> <h4 class="sigilNotInTOC" id="heading_id_3"><br/></h4> <h4 id="heading_id_4">WHY THE KNEE-JERKS SELDOM WORK</h4> <p>There are a number of reasons why knee-jerk reactions are dangerous and should be avoided.</p> <p class="sgc-9"><br/></p> <p class="sgc-9">They Assume That You Are Right and They Are Wrong</p> <p class="sgc-9"><span class="sgc-2">The dirty secret is that all these knee-jerk reactions are variations on exactly the same thing. They are built on the assumption that you are right and the other people are wrong. No need to listen. No need to be influenced. All we need to do is to get them to do your bidding. That’s quite an arrogant stance.</span></p> <p>Imagine when you are on the receiving end of various knee-jerk reactions. How do you react in the moment? What’s the longer-term ram- ification of that exchange? That’s what happens when we—without think- ing—inflict a knee-jerk on others.</p> <p><br/></p> <p class="sgc-9">They Increase Resistance</p> <p>When you give in to knee-jerk reactions, you turn the exchange with that other person into a contest. Whose idea will win?</p> <p>When people feel they have something to lose, they often fight back. When Cooke and Wilder ignored the opposition, the residents of North- ern Virginia formed groups to fight what they saw as a threat to their community.</p> <p>Many societies value win-lose situations. Every night, television serves up protagonists who win over their opponents. The sports pages tell us in banner headlines who won and who lost. News stories are framed as battles</p> </body> </html>