Chapter 10 Expanding Your Ability to Apply What You’ve Learned 171

• Make sure you understand the cycle. An easy way to begin tosee the cycle in action is to watch someone else’s change unfold. You’ll learn a lot about where people are on the cycle and ways to work with those differences effectively and ineffectively. And face it, it’s fun to watch others mess up.

• Use the three levels of support and resistance as you watch con- versations unfold. It’s hard to learn to work with resistance in the moment. Just look around. In virtually every meeting you attend you will see the three levels writ large.

• Stay open and curious. As my old friend Edwin Nevis says when faced with a surprising response from someone, “Isn’t it interest- ing?” This simple question to yourself can allow you to stay open to the possibility that this person isn’t a raving idiot and might have something valuable to say.

• My buddy Herb Stevenson often advises his clients to “pause, reflect, and act.” This tiny pause can stop you from giving into knee-jerk reactions, and that sometimes can make all the difference.
  

You know what they say about the best laid plans? Well, get used to it. The stages in the life of a change will likely occur in order. And with good planning, things may never get off track. But you never know. Context matters. You may miss seeing something important, like the woman with the umbrella. Or that butterfly flaps or belches, and you’ve got to adjust.

The men and women who lead change well understand that the pro- cess is more like jazz than classical music. There is an agreed-upon structure, but how things play out can depend as much on your ability to improvise as anything else.