“You need to come clean with me right now,” Shana said to her sister as they sat in her living room. “Because you know a whole lot more than you’ve let on. Spill.”
Joe was gone, having been banished to Aggie’s house and taking Emma with him.
“I’ll tell you what I know—and take the heat for it—but I want you to understand that we acted in good faith, Shana. We wanted your life to be not as much of a struggle. Please keep that in mind.”
“This oughta be good.” Shana crossed her arms. She tried to stop her foot from bouncing but couldn’t. So much anger was pent up inside her, it was her only outlet.
“Aggie called me—”
“Aggie? She’s part of this plot, too?” Shana couldn’t believe it. Aggie said she hadn’t told anyone. No, that’s wasn’t right. She’d said she hadn’t told Kincaid. That sneaky woman. “Are there any others?”
“No. Just Aggie, Kincaid and me. Well, Joe knows, but none of us has told anyone. Unless Aggie told Doc, which could have happen—”
“In other words, the whole town could know.”
“No. Don’t think that. At the most, it’s the people I just named, and you know we’ll all keep it confidential.”
“I don’t know that at all.”
“Knock it off, would you? You know darn well that none of us would talk about this to anyone else. Do you want the story or not?”
I would’ve rather heard it from Kincaid, she thought, beyond disappointed in him. She felt duped. How much was a lie? How could she have fallen in love with such a deceitful man? “I’m all ears.”
“I’m telling you this because I know Kincaid would feel an obligation not to break my confidence, which leaves him in a big bind. So, this will free him of the promise he made me. Which he only half kept, as it turns out, but the other half is up to him to fix. I never foresaw you sleeping with him.”
Dixie looked away for a minute, as if trying to find where she left off. “Okay. So. Aggie called me after you had some kind of breakdown on Thanksgiving. She was scared for you, Shana. And she did the right thing by letting me know. I knew you wouldn’t accept financial help from me or Gavin, or anyone. Kincaid was the only person I thought of who might be able to find a better job situation for you, because he gets around a lot for his business. I left it in his competent hands. I didn’t know how he would make it happen, but he got more creative than I anticipated. Suddenly you were living with him.”
“He evicted me.”
“To give you a better life for you and Emma.”
“Don’t sugarcoat it, Dixie. He did this for you, not for me or Emma. And he’s kept his businesses booming all these years without my help. He will continue for many more. I’m a figurehead. A gofer. A toolbox-wielding lackey. A shill. A—”
“I get it. Really, Shana, you know he wouldn’t pay you to be doing nothing of value.”
“Oh, well, I guess he does seem to like the way I wash his underwear. Briefs, by the way.” Her foot bounced a little higher. She couldn’t control it at all.
Dixie laughed. “Good to know.” She put up both hands. “I know. I’m sorry. It isn’t funny. Look, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have slept with him unless you cared about him a lot. He’s an honorable man, so I figure he couldn’t help himself, either. And when you get right down to it, you actually seemed a little disappointed that you weren’t pregnant.”
Shana shoved herself off the sofa and stalked to the front window. A couple of kids were riding bikes, probably Christmas presents. The everyday activity calmed her. Life went on.
“Maybe I was. A little,” she said. “I didn’t know it until I wasn’t. Then it hit hard.”
“I get that.” Dixie joined her at the window. She wrapped her arm around Shana’s shoulders. “When I took my first pregnancy test, it was negative. So, I know how that feels. Then when my period still didn’t come, I tried it again. Bingo.”
Shana went silent as she thought that through. “I hadn’t considered that I might have to test again. I waited a full two weeks.”
“Did you test first thing in the morning?”
“No. No, late in the day.” Because they’d reached a point where he’d needed to know. She’d read all the instructions. She should’ve waited.
“The hormones can be diluted by then. False negative. You should probably try once more, but wait until morning.”
“What if I am, Dix?”
“You and Kincaid will figure it out.”
He’ll make me marry him. He’d said they’d dodged a bullet. He didn’t want to marry her at all. “I’m just starting to connect with Mom and Dad again.”
“It’s still early. They don’t have to know when you got pregnant. And as long as you’re married, they probably won’t care.”
“Kincaid and I have a lot to figure out before that can happen, Dix.”
“You will.”
Shana sighed. “I can’t do another test in the morning because I have to pick one up first, and it’s Christmas. And I have to drive to Grass Valley, like I did before, so no one in town sees what I’m buying.”
“So, that’s what you’ll do. Do you have to work tomorrow?”
She shook her head. “We’re taking a break until after New Year’s.” Which meant they’d both be hanging around the house all week. “I could help you get the nursery together this week.”
Dixie gave her an all-knowing smile. “We’ll see. For now, go talk to Kincaid. Clear the air.”
The drive back to Aggie’s was almost painful. She didn’t want to talk to him, but she had to talk to him. She barely saw the road, could hardly catch her breath. Then she got to Aggie’s and learned he’d left. She gathered up Emma and headed home—well, to Kincaid’s house. His truck was out front. She didn’t know if she was relieved or not.
Until today, she thought she’d finally found a place where she could feel good and safe—and happy. She’d been hopeful, and look where that always got her. She was beyond tears, her devastation was so deep.
“Home,” Emma said from the backseat.
“Maybe,” Shana whispered. She pulled into the garage with the same dread she’d had before she’d walked up to her parents’ front door.
And the same hope.
When would she ever learn?
Kincaid heard the garage door opening. He’d been sitting in his chair, staring at the tree, waiting. Just waiting. Dixie had called to say she’d released him of his promise to her, that she’d told Shana she’d asked for his help. Of course, he’d given more help than she’d asked for. And now he was paying for it.
He scrubbed his face with his hands then stood. He wasn’t a coward. He would meet her in the garage as he always did, take Emma from her car seat and carry her inside.
She gave him a steady look but opened the back door herself. He shoved his hands in his pockets, feeling at a loss, then Emma called out, “Kinky!” Meaning, “I want Kinky to get me out,” he figured.
Shana stepped away to let him. Emma patted his face with both hands as he unbuckled her. “My Kinky,” she said, but this time in a voice that sounded like someone saying, “Good boy,” to the family dog. It made him smile.
“She needs a nap,” Shana said as they got inside the house.
“Night night,” Emma said.
So they all went upstairs, but then Shana said, “I’ll take it from here.”
And so it begins, he thought. She’d already made up her mind about what she wanted to do. But was she just distancing herself and her daughter emotionally or was she going to make a physical change, cut him out completely?
In the living room he stoked the fire, added a new log. When she finally came downstairs, she look composed.
“I know this may sound convenient,” he said, “but I’d already decided to ask Dixie to let me tell you the truth.”
“Because you got caught in a lie or because it was the right thing to do?” She took a seat, folded her hands in her lap. “I thought I finally wouldn’t be anybody’s charity case, thanks to you. You totally had me convinced you were hiring me for my skills. You said you needed me. But actually I became your charity case.”
She seemed eerily calm, so he couldn’t figure out where he stood. “Maybe I didn’t originally hire you for your skills, but it became evident almost immediately how multitalented you are. And competent. And creative. You’ve become invaluable, and that’s the truth.”
“Were you attracted to me, you know, physically?”
“When I hired you? Yes,” he said then added quickly when she frowned, “but I didn’t know it. I swear to you, I did not hire you expecting to sleep with you. You just became…irresistible.”
If he could just get her to stay another week, he thought, then all would be well. Even just a few more days. If she left, he might not ever get her back. He needed the proximity. “Please don’t leave, Shana.”
She made a sound of frustration, then stood and went to the front window. “I don’t— Oh, no. My mom just pulled up. Great timing, Mom.”
Kincaid went to the front door when Shana seemed frozen in place. “Merry Christmas, Bea.”
“The same to you, Kincaid. Your tree is beautiful.”
“Thank you. Did you want to be alone with Shana?”
“No, it’s fine.” She went to where Shana stood and handed her an envelope. “Your baby pictures, as promised. There’s one of you at eighteen months that looks just like Emma.”
Shana clutched the envelope to her chest. “Thanks, Mom. I appreciate it.” Her voice shook.
“I’m sorry your father didn’t come with me, but I truly think everything will work out. He’s seeing the years pass so fast, just like I am. What you said to him today opened his eyes.” She ran a hand down Shana’s hair. “We want to be real grandparents. Maybe we won’t be as intense about it as Aggie, but it’ll be better than it was. And honey, I forgive you.”
Shana hugged her, a small sob escaping. Kincaid could only watch in silence and hope her father did the same so that she wasn’t disappointed or hurt again.
“I’ll leave you to your afternoon,” Bea said. Then she was gone.
Shana opened the envelope and found the picture Bea spoke of. She showed it to Kincaid. “I’ve always said she looks just like you,” he said. “Obviously going to see them this morning turned out to be the right thing to do.”
“Christmas miracles,” she said. She looked at him. “You asked me not to leave. Where would I go? You took away my apartment. I’m sure either Gavin or Dixie would take me in, but that would give the town something new to talk about. I’m making headway with my parents. I don’t want to disrupt that.”
He relaxed. He had time, the time he needed.
“But,” she went on. “If the situation here goes downhill or gets too tense, I’ll need to go. We need to try to go back to the beginning. As in, I’ll be sleeping in my own room.”
He was okay with that—for now. He’d been given what he wanted, the chance to start over with her.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you.”
“I understand that Dixie held you to a promise. But you all need to understand that I’m an adult with a child. I have to make my own decisions.” She touched his arm, and it was like being touched by lightning. “I appreciate the job. I do. I want to keep on doing it. I just don’t know if I can live with you.”
“Baby steps, Shana.”
For a second he thought she was going to kiss him, then she moved back a little.
“Gavin and Becca are hosting Christmas dinner,” she said. “I plan to go. I’d like you to come, too, but if you don’t want to, it’s okay.”
“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”
“Okay.” She sighed. “I’m going to catch a nap while I can.”
“I’ll be here.”
He waited until she’d gotten upstairs before he let his legs buckle and he landed on the couch. He had a second chance.
This time he wouldn’t blow it.