It took Chloe a long time to go to sleep, despite the fact that she was dead tired, satisfied, and snuggled into Dylan’s arms. And completely happy. Every once in a while he’d squeeze her a little tighter. She wanted to believe he was doing it because he wanted her even closer. But he was asleep, and probably dreaming.
She hated this insecurity. Sure, she’d felt insecure with Ross sometimes, but he didn’t matter. Dylan was totally different. She was sure she would die if he didn’t love her.
So much for the strong, independent female theory.
She was so wrong for him, and this was the wrong time of his life for her to even think about being part of it. He was now a single father with a special needs son. The last thing he needed was a woman in his life. But if he can accept Teddy, a hopeful voice added, he can accept you.
Lying in the darkness, the other fear crowded in, too. That he’d only made love with her out of gratitude. No, don’t go there, don’t think about that. Hadn’t he thanked her just before making love to her? How could she be so physically close to a man and feel so far away from him at the same time?
All that matters is that Teddy is home safe and sound. Let the rest take care of itself.
She was also chilled. Even with all the heat Dylan put off, she was still fighting the shivers.
Early in the morning she wandered down the hall to check on Teddy. Still safe and sound, though he’d thrown the covers off sometime during the night. She rearranged them, then leaned down and kissed his cheek. He smelled like sweat and salt. She smoothed his hair back and returned to bed. Later, she thought she felt Dylan get up and check on Teddy, too. And finally, she sank into a deep, dark sleep.
When she woke, she felt drugged. She was still cold and shivering. Dylan wasn’t in bed, and she wondered if he’d ever come back after looking in on his son.
Sunlight poured through a crack between the designer curtains, and she struggled to turn and look at the clock on the headboard. Ten-thirty! She shoved out of bed and went to the bathroom, grimacing at her reflection. Her hair was sticking up all over from sleeping on it wet. Her skin was pale, her eyes red.
After brushing her teeth with Dylan’s toothbrush, washing her face and taming her hair, she realized she had no clothes to change into. She started to put on the nightgown that was in a crumpled heap on the floor, then smiled. Dylan had left three outfits on the dresser. She chose the pink dress, naturally, happy to find it was loose on her.
You’re not competing against Wanda. You’re competing against the kind of woman who fits into his life. A woman who comes from a normal family and a normal town and isn’t connected with supernatural visions.
She peered into Teddy’s room, but he wasn’t there. Voices floated out from the living area.
“There’s our hero,” a woman said as Chloe walked into the family room.
A smattering of applause filled the room, and Chloe stopped to take it in. The lush blonde was Jodie from Dylan’s office. She was sitting on the floor near Teddy, who was eating an egg sandwich. Dylan was sitting on the couch next to her, and Camilla was in the kitchen. Two other men were sitting on the other couch.
Jodie got up, walked over, and gave Chloe a hug. “You did a great thing. Wish I would have thought of it. Though I wouldn’t have been as brave as to swim in the bay naked.”
Chloe could only say, “Thanks. I wouldn’t call it brave. Crazy maybe.”
“Crazy and brave.”
Teddy smiled up at her, though he wasn’t quite looking at her. At least he looked happy and content. Dylan led her over to the couch.
“This is Chloe, the woman who saved my son. Chloe, this is my senior architect, Steve Ritter.”
More of that gratitude.
Steve stood and took her hand. “A real honor to meet you.” He was an attractive man in his fifties with thin, brown hair.
“And this is Dave Wahlberg, an, er —”
“I’m his arch-enemy,” he cut in, standing to shake her hand. He was a well-built blond about Dylan’s age with a nice smile. “We’ve been rivals since our University of Miami days. He won the mayor’s house from me, but I won Gloria Estefan’s Miami mansion from him. Though I ended up with Kraft Theater on the rebound. Now that Dylan’s going to be a busy father, I’m trying to convince him to join forces with me. We could rule Naples.” He squeezed Chloe’s hand before letting go. “You’re one wild lady, but you get things done. I like that.”
She turned to Dylan. “You gave up Kraft Theater?”
“That was the first shift in my priorities. I have a few other in mind, too.”
He caught her gaze for a moment, his brown eyes shining at … could she believe a future? She dared not hope.
Jodie, oblivious to the silent exchange, said, “I hear the Krafts are asking that Ross be removed from the project. Some question about his ethics.”
“Really?” Dylan asked.
Her eyes twinkled. “Could be they heard about what a jerk Ross was, trying to use Teddy’s disappearance to make himself look good. Could be it kind of slipped when I was talking to Andy Kraft. His computer maintenance company does, after all, handle our network.”
Camilla brought Teddy a plate of Cheez Whiz after he’d finished his egg sandwich. No crackers, just the coils of cheese. She shrugged, giving Chloe a smile. “He likes it, what can I say?”
Chloe sat down beside him and watched him poke his finger into the orange goo. He scooped some up and stuck it in his mouth. “Yum,” Chloe said.
“Yum,” he parroted.
“I’ve got an appointment with Dr. Jacobs later today,” Dylan told her. “We’re going to set up a visit with the Dan Marino Center in Weston for a full diagnosis and treatment plan.” He looked at his son. “I’m going to make sure no one looks at him with pity. He’s going to fit in.”
An ache started in her chest, but she ignored it. Nothing’s wrong. Nothing.
As they talked, Camilla fielded calls from acquaintances and well-wishers. Yochem had already been by to take a statement. She realized she was sitting near Dylan’s feet and remembered Lena’s comment about Chloe always having done that.
Crazy, isn’t that what Dave had called her? No, he’d called her wild.
Dave stood and stretched. “Well, I’d better get going, leave you time alone with your son.”
Steve took the cue. “Me, too. Someone’s gotta run the place,” he added with a wink.
Dylan was looking at Teddy,. “Some things are more important than work.”
Chloe got a chill at those words. If only they were meant for her as well. They’re not, so don’t even think it, don’t go there at all.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” Dave said.
“Talk about a wakeup call on priorities. It’s not going to be easy, but I’ve got to change. Teddy needs me.”
And who do you need, Dylan McKain?
No one. No way, no how. The ache was spreading. The flu, maybe. No, something Dylan had said.
“Think about merging. That would solve some of the problem. You’d have more time at home,” Dave said.
“I will.”
Chloe stayed with Teddy while the four walked to the front door. She heard another woman’s voice outside greeting Dylan warmly. “I’m Susan Carter. You probably don’t know me, but I live three streets over. My husband — excuse me, ex-husband — borrowed your boat last year to tow his back.”
“Oh, yeah, I remember.”
The rest of the group departed, leaving Dylan alone with the woman.
“I came by to tell you how glad I am that Teddy’s home. I’ve been following the story, praying, lighting candles. I have a little girl, and I know how it would feel to have her lost like that. The reason I came over is because I’d know exactly how you feel. My Emily is autistic, too. If you have a little time, I’d like to talk to you about it. I’ve been there, and I’ve fought the system to get autistic programs in place at the schools. I wanted to tell you what’s available for Teddy. Emily’s six now, and she’s in the Vineyards Elementary School autism program. I can’t begin to tell you how much progress she’s made.”
Dylan led her into the family room. Susan was in her early thirties, attractive — no, downright beautiful — and well-dressed. Her tiny waist was emphasized by a wide belt. She had blond shoulder-length hair that swished when she walked.
“I know you, too,” she said, extending her hand. “You were something else.” She turned to Dylan. “I know I couldn’t have swum in that cold, yucky water.”
Chloe took her limp hand and tried her best to smile. “I did what I had to do. I didn’t think about the yucky water.” Well, she had, but not much.
Susan gave her a smile that was a bit too sweet. “Well, you’re from Lilithdale. You people probably swim naked in that water all the time.” She sat down on the floor on the other side of Teddy as comfortably as though she lived there.
“Does he greet?” she asked Dylan.
“Greet?”
“Does he say hello or acknowledge you when he first sees you?” She studied Teddy, though he was interested in Chloe’s butterfly ring. “Yes, I recognize that look in his eyes. Wait until I tell you how much progress these kids can make. It is so exciting.”
Dylan took a seat between the women. “Tell me.”
Susan launched into a long explanation of what autism was and what it could be. “What’s hard to get used to is how they sometimes act up in public. When Emily throws a temper, as we call it, the best thing to do is ignore her. The looks people give you, like you’re a bad parent. The problem with autistic children is they don’t look handicapped. It’s not like you can educate everyone or put a sign on them.”
She told him how she’d gone from doctor to doctor, each telling her she was overreacting. At every other sentence, she touched Dylan’s arm. “So then I met with the mayor …”
“You know McCormick?” Dylan asked.
“Corky’s an old friend of the family. You know him?”
“I designed his house.”
“Oh, it’s beautiful! I’d love a house like that. Well, anyway, I didn’t jump in water.” She gave Chloe another artificial smile. “But I did nag Corky until he dug into the problem. I’m kind of a hero in my own right.”
Blah, blah, blah. Chloe couldn’t blame Dylan for listening intently to Susan. He wanted to learn more about his son’s disorder. She really couldn’t blame Susan either. She’d found someone to teach, someone to share her pain and triumphs. That he happened to be successful, gorgeous, great in bed — Chloe blinked at that thought. Not that Susan knew that.
The real problem was that Susan fit into Dylan’s world. They ran in the same circles, lived only a few blocks away from each other, and they shared their autistic children. The ache now vibrated through her chest. Not that she had any claim on Dylan. He’d made love to her, yes, but once out of grief, and once to thank her.
Chloe’s sniffle caught his attention. “I think I may have caught a cold from my little adventure last night.”
Susan held out her hand as though Chloe had just crawled out of the yucky water. “Don’t come near me! I’ve just gotten over the worst cold of my life after catching it from Emily. If I go through that again, I swear I’ll die. Having a cold is no fun without someone there to baby you through it.” She cleared her throat. “Emily has had marvelous success with music therapy. It’s based on the theory that music connects everyone. The kids learn to communicate through the songs.”
Chloe walked to the bathroom to blow her nose, feeling heavier with each step. And frumpier. So what if she didn’t have dainty feet with polished toenails? And a size two figure? One look in the mirror, and Chloe knew why Susan had held out her hand. Further, she was surprised Susan hadn’t done that at first sight of her. She imagined the heroine in a Frankenstein movie screaming to ward off the monster. That’s what Susan should have done.
“What am I doing here?” she asked her bedraggled reflection.
She walked to the master bedroom where she grabbed her bag after a long, wistful look at that wondrous bed.
Susan’s voice wafted from the living room before Chloe even walked back in. “We can help each other out. If you need to get out, I can watch Teddy. And vice versa. It’s so hard to find help that understands our kind of children. I think the kids’ll play well together, too. I’ll bet Emily could teach Teddy a lot. And they’d understand each other because they’re in the same boat,” she said, emphasizing that with another touch to his arm.
Was she talking about the kids or the parents? By the twinkle in the woman’s eyes, probably both.
Dylan looked up when Chloe entered the room. He came to his feet when he saw her bag slung over her shoulder.
“Where are you going?”
“I …” She looked away for a moment, not wanting him to see the pain. Damned tenderness. “I’d better go. I never did call my aunts, and they’ll probably want to hear all the details. And I need to feed the animals, you know how Shakespeare is.” She tried to inject some humor into that.
Before Dylan could respond, she walked over to Teddy and held out her palm. He pressed his palm against it. That simple touch filled her with such joy, she had to blink away the tears.
“Wow,” Susan said. “He likes to touch. Maybe getting him to hug won’t be too hard.”
Chloe quickly circumvented the couch and headed to the door.
“Goodbye, Chloe,” Camilla said, surprising her with the warmth in her voice. And the sympathy in her expression.
Dylan was suddenly beside her, holding onto her arm. “You don’t have to leave,” he said in a low voice that shivered up her spine.
“Yeah … I do. I’ll check in from time to time, see how Teddy’s doing.” Again she had to look away. The ache was throbbing…and now she knew why.
“Chloe, don’t leave.”
“Dylan, I know you want what’s best for Teddy. But do him a favor. Don’t try to make him fit your idea of a normal kid and then tell yourself it’s for his sake. Some people … can’t be fit into that mold. Accept him for what he is. That’s what’s important. Goodbye, Dylan,” she said in a thick voice. Then she turned and left. She might be tender and quirky — and that was all right, she realized. But she’d never change who she was, not for Dylan or for Lilithdale.
With every step to her car, she felt her insides break apart. It was better this way, that she leave before he could tell her there simply wasn’t a place in his life for her. Better that, for once, she be the one to walk away.
Dylan watched her leave, a feeling of helplessness shadowing him. There was something final about that goodbye. He wasn’t sure what he was going to do with her — he had too much going on to think about that. But he wasn’t ready to let her go yet.
“Something wrong?” Susan asked from behind him.
He could follow Chloe, but she obviously wanted to be alone. He turned to Susan. “Will Teddy ever be … normal?”
“He’ll probably be able to function independently in society, but he’ll always be different. When you realize your child is autistic, you give up one set of dreams and build another. Chloe’s right. You can’t make him fit ‘normal’.”
He nodded. “I appreciate you stopping over, but I think Teddy needs a little quiet time. I haven’t been alone with him since … well, for a long time.”
“Sure, I understand.” She took his hand in her cool, manicured one. “I’m here if you need me. Only a few streets away. Here’s a card with my phone number on it. I know it’s a tough time for you. I can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on … or anything else you might need.”
She gave him a meaningful look and walked to the front door. One last look, a toss of that obnoxious dyed hair, and out she went.
“Brother, what a come-on,” Camilla said, bringing Teddy another plate of Cheez Whiz. “You’re going to get a lot of that, I bet.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re available, good-looking, successful … why not?”
Dylan made a face. He didn’t want to be a list of statistics on a Find-a-date application. He wasn’t even sure he wanted a relationship. But if he did …
Chloe’s beautiful face flashed through his mind.
“Susan’s not my type.”
“Really? I thought she’d be perfectly your type. Got her own money, probably, chock full’a charm, pretty …” Her lip went up. “Thin.”
Another list for the Find-a-date application. “Too thin, too pretty, too charming.” But he realized that’s what Wanda had been. On the outside anyway. “I don’t want to think about that right now.”
“Or maybe you like another type of woman now,” Camilla said with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
This time the memory was of holding Chloe in his arms. Waking up to find she was real and not a dream, squeezing her just to make sure.
“Chloe’s not my type either.”
“She might not be,” Camilla said, leaning on the counter. “But she’s no nutcase. I’m afraid I misjudged her. She’s one tough lady.”
Chloe, a tough lady? That was the paradox of her. She was tender … and she was strong.
He sat down next to Teddy, who had found some stray Legos and was constructing something that looked vaguely like a building. Teddy didn’t look up at him the way he’d looked at Chloe. Dylan put out his palm, but Teddy ignored it, standing up and saying, “She-she.”
“What’s she-she?”
Teddy climbed up on the table next to the fish tank and plucked out a goldfish. Before Dylan could make a move, Teddy popped it into his mouth.
“Told you he liked to do that,” Camilla said at Dylan’s grimace.
“Wait a minute. That’s how he survived out there. He caught fish.”
Teddy tried to snag another one, but Dylan grabbed him around the waist and brought him back to the Legos. He brought out the rest of the set, too.
“I’m going to do some laundry,” Camilla said. “I’ll catch the phone if it rings, but I won’t hear the door.”
She was being discrete, he supposed, giving him time alone with his son.
His son.
Teddy looked enough like him that no one would ever guess he wasn’t his biological son. Dark hair, anyway. Curls like Chloe’s, though for some reason they’d been cut.
“Do you know who I am?” he asked Teddy.
Teddy didn’t look up at him. Remembering how Chloe had communicated with him, he started picking up Lego blocks.
“One, two, three.”
Teddy didn’t repeat them as he’d done with Chloe. For some reason, he’d connected with her.
“I’m your dad,” he said. “Daddy.”
Nothing.
He and Teddy sat on the floor for an hour, making their separate Lego creations.
Building new dreams.
Chloe drove directly to her aunts’ cottage. Marilee was there too, toying with a glass of green liquid. They were sitting out on the screened-in back porch playing cards, though the cards looked abandoned since none of the ladies were actually facing the table.
“There you are!” Stella said, coming to her feet when Chloe walked around the corner. “We thought you’d died or something.”
“Or something,” Chloe affirmed, stepping inside but remaining by the door. She wrapped her arms around herself, hating the awkwardness she felt. “I meant to call you last night, but I was too exhausted.”
“Sure, we understand,” Stella said. What their eyes said was, We know you were too busy making love to call.
Lena sat there looking dignified in her upswept hair. The blank look on her aunt’s face, neither love nor anger, sent a sharp jab through Chloe’s stomach.
Chloe dropped down to the floor. “I’m sorry about everything. I know I’ve caused you a lot of pain and aggravation. But it’s over.” She forced finality into that word. “Totally over.”
“Even with the fella?” Marilee asked.
“Yes, even with him. Hey, I don’t need a man in my life, right?” Hadn’t you decided no more trying to fit in. Yes, but I’m not ready yet.
Stella crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head. Her zebra-striped hair bow shimmied with the movement. “Maybe we don’t, but who do you think you’re fooling?”
Chloe winced. “What are you talking about?”
“The frog prince, for one thing,” Marilee said. “Yeah, we seen it. You think you can hide anything from us?”
Chloe felt her cheeks flush. “Silly me.”
“We seen a green leg sticking out of your chaise lounge once,” Marilee said. “Wondered what the heck it was.”
Chloe uttered a sheepish, “Oh.”
“Plus,” Stella said, “You are so head over that man, it hurts to look at you.”
“Head over,” Marilee agreed.
Chloe dipped her chin. “Because I’m tender?”
“Because you’re you,” Stella said, taking Chloe’s hands.
“Tender,” Marilee agreed.
“All right. I’m head over him so bad it hurts to look at myself. And I do want him in my life, but he … he doesn’t fit in my life, and I don’t fit in his. So there. Now I’m a total pariah in Lilithdale. Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed here so long. I certainly never belonged here.”
“Why not?” Marilee asked, looking genuinely perplexed.
“Because I’m not strong like you all are. I want a man in my life. And I’m disabled. And tender. Isn’t that enough? Look, I don’t need to stand here and alienate myself even more. I’m drained.”
“But we want to hear about the boy,” Marilee said as Chloe turned to leave.
“He’s going to be okay. I’ll tell you all about it later. I need to be alone now.”
“Want some pickle soup to take back with you?” Marilee asked. “I’ve got a whole batch in the fridge.”
Chloe tried to make her grimace a smile. “Marilee, I … I don’t like pickle soup. I’m sorry, but I never did.”
“Told you,” Stella said.
“I only made it because you said you liked it.”
“I only said I liked it because you made it for me.”
“Told you,” Stella said again.
“Well, good night,” Chloe said, backing out the door.
“That’s it?” Stella said, coming to her feet. “You’re going to give up, just like that?”
“Yeah, you’re a fighter,” Marilee said.
Chloe paused on the step going down. “I’m tired of fighting. For once, I want someone to fight for me.”
That night Dylan gave in to his urge and called Chloe. There was no answer, but he felt better just hearing her voice on the message. “Hey, it’s Dylan. I just called to say … hi. Dr. Jacobs ran a full battery of tests today, and Teddy’s in good shape. I thought you’d want to know. You looked a little, I don’t know, something, when you left. I wanted to make sure you were all right. Call me.”
He thought about what Susan had said. Teddy would always be special, different. A man who wanted to blend into the woodwork might consider an autistic son a curse. But it didn’t bother him. It really didn’t. He loved that kid, so he’d accept it.
He felt a decided emptiness lying in bed without Chloe in his arms. Face it: you need that woman. You need her in your arms and in your life and to hold her through the night and never let her go. He ran his hands over his face. It was true. His soul ached for her the same way it had that night he thought Teddy was dead. Not for sex. For her. What an idiot he’d been. To punish himself, he replayed the scene through his mind when he’d walked away from her. She’d been telling him the truth, and he’d been too dense to see it.
But he saw it now.
She’d taught him to believe in miracles. Taught him to believe again. God hadn’t only brought her back for Teddy. Chloe’s mission was to teach Dylan to love, to know what was important.
Then why had she walked away and said goodbye like it meant forever? He let out a groan as he replayed the conversation with Susan. The woman had waltzed in and fit right in. That’s when Chloe had crumbled. He could see it now, in her expression, in the way she’d retreated. He’d been too dense to realize it at the time.
All Chloe wanted was to be accepted, and when he’d said he wanted Teddy to fit in, she thought he’d make her change, too. But he didn’t want her to change. He loved her just the way she was.
He loved her.
And he was going to bring her back where she belonged: in his arms.